I'm over thinking. Someone just stop me from thinking and caring way too much for people who don't even realize I'm there for them because I haven't let go. Just like how I never let go of my parents' hands when I was little, they just let me go at a young age. Each time I tried to go hold their hand when I was young, they'd let go. I won't ever forget that feeling. Favoritism fucking sucks. I hate being the middle child. The stereotypes of being an middle child applies to me. I bet if I were a middle child but a boy, you know damn right I'd be noticed more often. I've done so many things and it's just be flushed down the drain. Why can't my mom and dad just treat me the same as my sisters. I mean I work now just like my older sister. But you can see that my dad could care less. I've always watched sports hoping that my dad would call me for the scores and details. but nope he doesn't. He even says he loves them. What about me? Never have I heard those words come out of his mouth for me. I'm so tired. I'm sad. Emotionally, physically and mentally. I don't even know where I belong. In this house, in this room and in this family. Who the fuck am I? I have no fucking idea. I mean I guess I'm Annette Rodriguez. But who could verify that...I would feel so much better if I were adopted. I just don't feel happiness in this house anymore. Nobody cared, nobody will and nobody will understand how much I'm hurting deep down inside. At this moment, all they ever do is question the way I do things, no concern of how I feel. Fuck everything right now, seriously. Fuck my thoughts. Fuck this fuckery and sorry for cussing. I know better than that. But it was expresses a lot for one word. 'good'night.
