I think the weirdest thing about last night was those moments where it really felt like we were back 6 or 7 months and we weren’t sure of anything that was happening. I would kiss you and I would forget about all the things that happened in the past 6 months. There was that really scary time where we felt like one of us could walk out, and just change everything that happened. That we were at a crossing point and one of us could leave, and if one of us walked out the door, it would be totally over. And I don’t know why it felt like this - I would go back and forth between knowing who you were and then knowing but not being able to attach that feeling to your face. It was so scary, how could I just forget.
I’m sorry, honestly, for making you experience that to. When I had still forgotten and you were past that point, and I was about to burst into tears because I was so scared that you weren’t there with me anymore. And i couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to be in your position, to have me suddenly feel uncomfortable around you and not want to touch. I must’ve hurt you last night and I’m so sorry.
And then you said that when you were alone you got really lonely without me, and it was heartbreaking but sweet and I don’t know how to feel. I would go to the bathroom or not be with you in the kitchen and you said you felt so empty. I love you so fucking much, honestly.
Overall, would do again, probably not so late at night, probably not for a long ass time.
Sex was really great tho.