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I desired her like blue water at dawn. And the cruel need to bite those lips naively offered for a kiss, to bruise that flesh like rosy eglantines, became so violent that I abruptly took my leave.

Renée Vivien, A Woman Appeared to Me, 1904, translated by Jeannette H. Foster

#Renée Vivien #A Woman Appeared to Me #A Woman Appeared to Me 1904 #Jeannette H. Foster #p. 47 #Novels #lesbian literature

I was thinking about self fulfilling prophecies in IJ. Turns out there are so many, and they fit right in the theme of things that cicle, annular, infinite etc. At pag. 997 there is a similar phenomenon described as " a terror so terrifying it makes the object of the terror come true". Some examples i could recall:

"the cold clenched fear of losing has itself made him lose […]" - p. 388

The woman at pag. 997 "terrified of the possibility that she might be either blind or paralyzed or both. So e.g. she keeps her eyes shut tight 24/7/365 […]" and sits "absolutely motionless out of phobia of being paralyzed.”

Danielle Steenbok with the "eyeliner-colored tattoos put around both eyes so she'd never again have to apply eyeliner " but now that those are faded she "has to constanly apply eyeliner to cover up." - p. 208

The "paranoid schizophrenic who believed that radioactive fluids were invading his skull" who becomes the subject of numerous test to learn about schizophrenia by injecting "special blood-brain-barrier-penetrating radioactive dye […]" - pp. 47- 48

yes, i am paranoid - but am i paranoid enough? - p. 1035

Y'all can recall any others?

#self fulfilling prophecies #one of these fears is not like the others #paranoia #fears #p. 47 #p. 208 #p. 388 #p. 997 #p. 1035 #ij #david foster wallace #infinite jest #mine

#hxh #illumi zoldyck #13th chairman election arc #vol. 31 #ch. 323 #p. 47 #dialogue only

#hxh #illumi zoldyck #13th chairman election arc #vol. 31 #ch. 323 #p. 47 #dialogue only #he sounds judgmental. upset she didn't believe killua #or upset more people needed to die? probably not on his own account but maybe dad was upset.

#hxh #illumi zoldyck #13th chairman election arc #vol. 31 #ch. 323 #p. 47 #dialogue only #title card

Anyway, I really did like being alone. I liked being alone with poor Staff Sergeant Max Mayhem, who – oh, come on, he’s not going to survive these seventeen bullet wounds, is he? (Spoiler alert: He lives.)

Chapter 3, p.47 (TFiOS)

Thanks for the bookend ending, but his survival is about as likely as Jon Snow living to see Season 6 (and yes, the jury will be out on that one until April 2016, thank you very much).

Thus ends Chapter 3, and I’d still much rather be reading anything else.

#first read 1 #The Fault in Our Stars #Chapter 3 #John Green #p. 47 #p 41 50

The other thing about Kaitlyn, I guess, was that it could never again feel natural to talk to her. Any attempts to feign normal social interactions were just depressing because it was so glaringly obvious that everyone I spoke to for the rest of my life would feel awkward and self-conscious around me, except maybe kids like Jackie who just didn’t know any better.

Chapter 3, p.47 (TFiOS)

As terrible as this is, your interactions with Kaitlyn might never feel so natural because she’s putting on a fake accent and doesn’t feel like a real person. It might be possible that it doesn’t have to be this way if you made a bigger effort to interact with the kids from Group, with whom you have something in common.

I can’t believe she’s actually happy about that weirdness with the kid.

#first read 1 #The Fault in Our Stars #Chapter 3 #John Green #p. 47 #p 41 50 #ableism #teachable moment

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