Nov 22, 2019
Aaron: Hey faggot- you done with my civ paper yet? It's due tonight.
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Aaron: Hey faggot- you done with my civ paper yet? It's due tonight.
When Hummelbros Fight || Hummelbros Para and HCs
When: 6th-7th May 2019
Who: @gleedalekurt && @ghoulishboyhummel
Notes: Kurt and Aaron get into an argument over Aaron’s drinking and all the problems with the fact that their dad is accused of being the Black Hood. Truths come out and punches are thrown until Aaron takes drastic actions to ensure Kurt doesn’t walk out on him. Lot’s of para work but it ends with HC’s as me and Logan just don’t have time to finish it :)
Triggers: Locking someone in a room, fighting, alcohol
Word Count: 5476
Aaron knew he had a problem. Anyone who paid close enough attention could see that his alcoholism was back in full swing. Drinking straight from the bottle, no matter how big it was, not caring how many bottles he’d finish in a night, only sleeping when he passed out. It was awful. He hadn’t been this bad for a year or two now. But he was telling everyone that he was fine with Burt being the Black Hood, that he was completely unaffected by the threats and questions on if he’ll end up a murderer just like him, even if he was wondering that himself. But it was a lie. He wasn’t fine, he just needed to pretend so Kurt wouldn’t worry, so he could be the brave and strong brother Kurt needed. He was drinking...well, he wasn’t entirely sure what it was. Tasted kind of like one of his flavored vodkas, which he was drinking a lot recently, but he doesn’t even bother checking the labels anymore and with all of the empty bottles around him, he couldn’t tell much of a difference if this was birthday cake vodka or just blueberry vodka.
Kurt had been staying in his room a lot recently, apart from the day where he'd been out to see Ale. He came out every once in a while to get food or drink but always managed to avoid Aaron or watch him passed out. He walked into the lounge and saw Aaron swiging from a bottle and he rolled his eyes, anger coursing through him, "One night huh?" he spat out, "Put the drink down, you are going to end up with a problem again".
When Aaron heard Kurt he looked back with wide eyes, not expecting him to be out here. “Fuck, Kurt, it’s not...it’s not what it looks like, I swear.” He tried saying, as if there was some explanation for what he was doing besides the truth. “I’m fine.” He’s been saying that a lot recently, almost too much. Trying to convince himself and everyone else that the only issue was making sure Kurt was safe. “Do you want something to eat? I have some leftover pizza in there.” Changing the subject is also something he’s been doing a lot.
Kurt stood his stance, this face fixed with anger and his arms across his chest, "Not what it looks like? It looks like once again, you are drinking" he walked over to Aaron and looked at the pizza, "No, I don't want any of your pizza" he said with disgust in his voice, "But I'll take this" and he went to grab the bottle.
Aaron didn’t respond, he couldn’t think of a response. There wasn’t a lie that could explain what was happening. But when Kurt went to grab the bottle from him, he pulled it away and tried to stand up without seeming as drunk as he felt. Even his high tolerance couldn’t handle as much as he’s been drinking. “Sorry, not in the mood to share.” He took another swig out of the long bottle, almost out of spite.
Kurt glared at him, "I didn't ask you to share" he said, venom in his voice, "Give me the bottle Aaron, or I swear to God.... I will leave and not come back, not ever". He gulped and bit his lip, "Aaron, you have a problem and you promised me this wuldn't happen".
There was a moment where he did consider handing it to him. He didn’t want him to leave, he didn’t think he could handle it. But hearing Kurt say he had a problem made him change his mind on that. “And I’m keeping that promise. I don’t have a problem.”
Kurt took a deep breath and nodded, "Last chance Aaron, you either chose me or that god damn bottle in your hand" he hissed out, his eyes never leaving his brothers face. He didn't need this, not now.
“There’s nothing to choose between. It’s just one bottle of...” Aaron turned the bottle to look at the label, “cherry vodka.” He shook his head and quietly muttered, “Damn, I was way off.” He pushed his hair back, “I need this, Kurt.”
Kurt shook his head as he took a deep breath to fight back the tears stinging at this eyes, "I knew you'd pick the bottle over me" he said, his voice quiet but shaky, "So much for wanting to make this work" he said, stepping closer to Aaron, "Every time we get remotely close, you ruin it and I'm done Aaron. I'd take being homeless over living with this...." and he waved a hand at Aaron up and down, ".... any day" and he pushed Aaron as he went to go past, headed for the door.
No, no, no. Kurt couldn’t leave, Not now. Not with everything going on, if he left then there’s nothing to keep him from really going overboard and drinking himself to death or a coma. Aaron tried to move and grab him, “Kurt, don’t leave, please. I can’t deal with this without you here.”
Kurt felt Aaron's hand on his shoulder and he shrugged it off, "Why should I stay?" he asked, still fighting his tears, "I needed you every night since Dad got arrested and every night you've been.... you been this. You promised me so many times it wouldn't get this way". He squeezed his eyes shut as tears rolled down his cheeks, "If you can lie about this, what else can you lie about? You have a problem Aaron and until you admit it, I don't want you in my life".
He can lie about a lot of things, like sleeping with Sebastian, his drinking problem, how this Burt thing is affecting him. Aaron seems almost addicted to lying as much as he’s addicted to alcohol. “I’m sorry. This helps me, makes everything easier for me to deal with.” He didn’t know if that would make this better, he couldn’t imagine he’d understand and he didn’t really want to explain it. “I’m really sorry, Kurt.”
Kurt looked Aaron in the eyes and gulped, "Sorry for what?" he asked, almost fearing the answer, "Sorry you won't quit drinking? Sorry you choose the bottle over your own brother? Sorry that you can't stop lying to me? Which one is it Aaron? Or is it a sorry that you want this..." and he grabbed the bottle from Aaron's hand, ".... more then you want me?"
He reached for the bottle once Kurt grabbed it from him. “Lying. And drinking? I guess.” Aaron couldn’t say whether he really was sorry he couldn’t stop though. He wanted to not feel anything and the drinking helped. “I need to be able to help you during the day or be able to leave when I need to and drinking at night helps me not go insane.”
Kurt shook his head, keeping the bottle out of Aaron's reach, "No!" he shouted and the anger got the better and he threw the bottle, smashing it against a wall, "Don't think I won't do that to every bottle in this house! Chose Aaron.... Cause if I walk out that door now, I am not coming back. I'm gunna lose my father.... I'll take walking out on you over watching you kill yourself any day".
Aaron watched the bottle smash against the wall, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen Kurt this angry. “You can’t leave, Kurt. I don’t know what I’d do without you, I can’t deal with all of this shit alone.” He felt tears prick at his eyes, which was probably the worst thing about this.
Kurt nodded, "Yeah and what are you going to do? Try and stop me?" he challenged, "In your condition, you wouldn't stand a chance" he hissed out, his voice full on anger, "So make your decision cause I'll stay and I'll help you through but not with the alcohol".
That was definitely true. He could barely do anything. “You don’t understand. I pick you, obviously, but I can’t stop. I need to drink otherwise I’ll lose my mind, I won’t be able to be that strong and brave brother you want.” Aaron said, taking a step towards Kurt while trying to force away any tears that were trying to come out because that was the last thing he needed right now.
"You don't need alcohol" he hissed back, "You don't need it, you want it and I won't here and watch you drink yourself too death. My alcoholic brother is not a strong brave brother, he's the one who promised he wouldn't let me down, promised he wouldn't do this and then did it anyway and maybe, just maybe, I could have tried to help him, but lying to me? I can't deal with that Aaron". Kurt's tears were falling fast at this point, every other word broken with a sob as he backed away from Aaron.
“You would hate me if I told the truth all of the time.” Aaron hates him backing away, he hated that everything Kurt said made sense. Except that he did think he needed it. He needed his emotions numb so he’s not as much of a wreck as Kurt has been. He didn’t like drugs so alcohol was all he had.
"Oh yeah? What other dreadfuls are you hiding from me then?" he asked, once again scared for the answer, "Your one and only chance to come clean and tell me the truth before I go" he added, almost forcing Aaron's hand with a chance at redemption.
Aaron wasn’t going to say anything, but Kurt said ‘before I go’ and he needed the chance to keep him around. “I slept with Sebastian. The day after Dad got arrested.” One admission to start with. “I think Dad has a very high chance of being the Black Hood. I’m terrified that if he is, I’m going to end up just like him. I’m terrified of feeling things and I need to drink so I won’t have to.”
Kurt froze at the admissions a range of emotions rushing through him. He wanted to move, wanted to run away but he felt like his limbs had turned to stone. His body started to shake from rage and he cocked his head to the side, "You slept with Sebastian!" he spat, "After you promised you would never.....". He took a deep steadying breath, "I can take that you think dad did it. I can take that you are scared cause Lord knows I am but you slept with Sebastian after you freaking promised you wouldn't". He looked at the door, "I warned you I would leave if you did that. I warned you I would go" he said through gritted teeth, "Just try and fucking stop me Aaron" and once again, he headed for the door.
He knew that should’ve been the last one. Seeing him move towards the door, Aaron moved to get in front and between him and the door. “Technically, I never promised I wouldn’t. Just said I would never. But he appealed to the masochistic side of me and I needed to blow off some steam and he was there.” At this point, some tears had begun to fall, but he ignored it. “Please, Kurt. You said I needed to tell you everything and that’s it. I’m sorry, I know he’s a fucking asshole but at least I didn’t sleep with Benji, right?”
Kurt stared at Aaron blocking the door and raised an eyebrow, "You think you are going to stop me?" he asked, as he noticed the tears on Aaron's cheeks, "You think crying and telling me how never now means once is going to stop me leaving?". he knew he wasn't going to like the answers he got but he never imagined them, "Aaron, brothers don't do this! You promised you wouldn't leave me alone and the next night you went to Sebastian's whilst I was scared in my room".
“I don’t want to be fucking crying right now. I just don’t want you to leave.” Aaron wiped at his cheeks to try and stop it. “I’m sorry! I don’t know how many times you want me to say it! I fucked up again, I shouldn’t have left you alone, especially so soon after it happened. I just needed a release to ignore this for a little while and that’s what he gave me.”
"And that doesn't make it OK!" Kurt shouted, his temper raised as he moved closer to Aaron, "You don't get it do you? You make promises all the time and you never.... You don't keep them and it breaks my heart every time you break one!" he said, upset and anger all coming through to his voice, "I can't do this! Every other month you break a promise and it destroys me!" and he put his hands on Aaron's arm, attempting to push him out the way.
“I don’t try to break promises. I try to keep them as much as I can. I’m sorry I keep fucking up.” More tears started to fall and this time Aaron just let them be. He didn’t move from the pushes. “Please, Kurt. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I really am trying to make this work.” He pleaded, “I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”
Kurt tried to hold back his emotions as the words stung him, "You didn't have me for many years and you did just fine" he said, not looking at Aaron, the tears nearly breaking him, "I can't live with you like this... Not with everything that is going on. Are you going to move?"
“My alcoholism started when you weren’t there. Don’t know if that counts as just fine.” He shook his head at the question, “Well I don’t know how else to live during this. Nothing is different with how I act usually, I just sleep more at night and my feelings are number. Or, they’re supposed to be.”
Kurt took a deep breath, "I wasn't there cause you choose that. You picked to leave, not me". He finally risked looking back at Aaron, "I didn't want to let myself get hurt, least of all by you but I guess.... I deserve this for thinking you could change" he moved his hand back to Aaron's shoulder and pushed once more, "Why are you doing this?"
That was true. He did leave and there were multiple times he wishes he didn’t. But when Kurt said he deserves this for thinking he could change, that was like a stab to the heart. “I can’t be alone. I need to know that you’re in the other room if I decide to get my shit together and figure out what’s wrong with me.”
"So I have to wait until you are ready?" he asked, "I have to wait until you get your shit together?". He gulped and backed up a little, "I said it once and I'll say it again, just try and make me stay Aaron" he said, the challenge in his tone as he crossed his arms over him.
“That’s not what I meant.” Aaron said, though he was glad he backed up. “How am I supposed to make you stay? Lock you in your room? Keep you like a prisoner?” Now the tears were starting to mess up how his voice was sounding and he really wished tears weren’t a thing.
"Then what did you mean?" he said through gritted teeth. He nodded, "It's the only way you are going to get me stay" he sneered, anger in his voice as he said it, Aaron's tears not affecting him as anger took over his body, "Cause right now, I want to leave and I am never coming back".
“Nothing. Forget it.” He shook his head and pounded his fist on the door behind him, just needing to punch something but not wanting to hurt Kurt. “Don’t try to push me, Kurt. I’ve been really scared that I’m going to go too far next time I’m angry and kill someone.”
Kurt jumped slightly at the sound Aaron's fists made and he gulped, "Push you? You don't scare me Aaron" he spat back, "Punch the door all you, as son as you move, I'm going out of it" he said, his stance not changing, his face a look of disgust and anger, "You wouldn't kill any one cause that's not you... Drinking yeah, but not murder".
“We didn’t think Burt would kill anyone either, now did we? Tons of people are saying I’ll snap like him and who’s to say they’re wrong?” Aaron asked, not planning on moving from in front of the door.
Kurt took a deep breath, "Dad didn't do it" he spat out, "Dad will be found innocent and then you'll know these thoughts are all you Aaron". He stepped forward, "Move out of my way" he warned.
Aaron shook his head, “Maybe you’re right, maybe Dad is innocent, maybe the messages I’ve been getting about killing someone are all in my head. But chances are, they’re not.” At the warning, he rolled his eyes a little. “Or what? Gonna give me more bruises? Because I slept with one fucking guy that we don’t like?”
Kurt nodded, "Or maybe it's the alcohol poisoning your brain" he sneered. He stepped closer to Aaron still, balling his fists at his side, "You think I won't?" he said, "This is not just about him, it's about everything. Final chance Aaron.... Move. Out. Of. My. Way"
“You haven’t even seen the worst of it, Kurt. You weren’t there for the times I was passed out in random lawns, the time I had to get my stomach pumped, this is nothing.” There wasn’t any point in telling him that, this was still bad. “Change can’t happen overnight. I have been doing better, I’m sorry that I can’t be your perfect brother yet.” He wiped away the tears again and looked at Kurt dead in the eye. “Make. Me.”
"This is the start of all that happening again and you just can't see it" he hissed, "I have given you multiple chances to fix us, to work on this shit we call a relationship. I even moved in with you when I was perfectly happy with Alejandro and it was never enough". He stepped up closer once more, "You asked for this" and he swung his fist out, aiming for Aaron's cheek.
“I’m not an alcoholic again. I’m not.” Even that wasn’t said with as much confidence, because he knew he was. He knew he needed actual help, but he was still in denial. “I’ve been doing better each chance, haven’t you see that? And don’t fucking try to pretend like I twisted your arm to move in with me, I told you if you wanted to live Alejandro then you could.” He wasn’t actually expecting Kurt to punch him, so he didn’t have time to dodge. “Fuck, Kurt! You actually fucking punched me!”
Kurt pulled back as his fist collided with Aaron’s face, his breathing shaky, “I warned you I would” he said through gritted teeth, “So now you know I’m capable of it, are you going to move out my way or are you going to stand there and continue to explain how great you are for trying and failing to make this OK”.
Aaron held his cheek for a moment, feeling the pain go through his body. But he didn’t want Kurt to leave. So he moved forward and pushed his older brother back, “I never said I was great. I know I’m a fucking asshole and awful at being a brother, but I’m trying my hardest and that’s never enough for you!”
Kurt scoffed but as Aaron pushed him he stumbled backwards, "Brave enough to move away from the door are we?" He challenged as he found his footing again, "I tired Aaron. I moved here too the southside to try, even when everyone on the southside hates me. You got sober for a few months and then cracked and broke a shit ton of promises". He stepped forward, edging his way around Aaron, "Don't make my punch you again".
Aaron didn’t argue that he was actually sober for longer, that he hadn’t been an alcoholic in a year or two, because there was no point. “Of course I cracked! Our dad gets arrested for mass murder and I’m supposed to be okay with that?” He went to push Kurt back again, “Go ahead, now’s the best time to get all of your anger towards me out.”
Kurt scoffed and nodded, "You'd love that wouldn't you" he spat, "Little Kurt becomes just like his dad... Hates the ghoulie son!" As he regained his footing once again, he took another step towards the door, "If I punch you Aaron, I'm not sure I'll want to stop" he spat out, his body having never experienced this level of anger.
“I don’t want you to hate me! I didn’t even want dad to hate me!” Aaron shook his head, he didn’t care if Kurt wasn’t sure if he’d stop, that would still keep him here. “Punch me as much as you want.”
Kurt scoffed and gulped, he was closer to the door then he had been all night, "I didn't want to hate you either but here we are. Dad didn't hate you, you pushed him away every time he tried to get you back, like you are doing to me". He stepped up to Aaron, "This is for all those years we missed" and he swung at Aaron again, "I'm going to leave. I don't think you have it in you to stop me".
“I’m not trying to push you away.” Aaron said, not even really realizing that’s exactly what he was doing. He probably had the opportunity to dodge this punch, but he didn’t. He let Kurt punch him again, “If you leave, don’t be surprised if the next Register announcement is about my death. Because I don’t have a reason to stop if you really hate me.”
Kurt froze when Aaron said his words, "You can't do this" he said shaking his head, "You can't say stuff like that just to get me too stay". The idea that him leaving would make Aaron want to die, it tugged at him, "You can't do this!" He half screamed at Aaron, "Why are you doing this?"
“It’s not just to get you to stay. It’s the fucking truth.” Aaron spoke quietly, he didn’t know what he’d do if Kurt hated him. “Why am I doing what? Asking you to stay? Drinking so fucking much? If you just let me, I’ll answer any question you want me to answer.”
Kurt took a deep breath, "You want me to stay? Physically make me" he hissed, the emotional torment too much for him, "Do what you think is right Aaron".
“I don’t want to hurt you. You know I can’t hurt you.” Aaron responded, glad he wasn’t yelling anymore because that was giving him a huge headache. “Nothing that I think is right works.”
"Like I said you couldn't" Kurt retorted. He looked at the door and then back to Aaron, "Emotionally manipulating me won't encourage me to stay" he said, his voice dangerously low, "What happens if I make you angry. You already told me you'll kill the next person who does that".
Aaron looked at him when brought up emotionally manipulating him, “I wasn’t emotionally manipulating you.” He didn’t think he was, anyway. “I said that I think I’ll kill the next person who makes me angry. Because every time I’ve been getting angry I do increasingly worse shit because of it.” He responded. But he didn’t know what what would happen if Kurt made him angry.
Kurt scoffed, "You said if I left, I'd read about your death next... How is that not manipulating me?" he asked, anger still coursing through him, "Yeah, and if I make you angry what, you think you'll try and kill me... In your condition, I don't even think that's possible!". Kurt sighed and shook his head, "You are.... You make me so angry Aaron. I don't want to stay here with you...." he took another step closer to the door, "If I stay, I'll end up regretting whatever I might do".
"That was just...that was just the truth. I wasn't manipulating you." Aaron responded, still not seeing what Kurt was talking about. But Kurt was right about it probably not being possible, he was way too drunk to try and actually hurt him. Let alone try to kill him. "There's nothing wrong with the condition I'm in. I'm fine." He moved closer to Kurt, he didn't know how to make him stay, there was nothing he could do. "Kurt, please. There's too much going on to lose you too."
Kurt scoffed once more, "You are not fine Aaron" he retaliated, "I told you I dont want to stay, told you to make me. Short or chaining me to the bed, you'd not have much luck" he said, gulping as fresh emotions washed over him, "There is too much going on, but this, this adds to the problems. It doesn't make them better".
"Fine! I'm not fine. I lied about not drinking a lot, it is a problem again. I'm sorry." Aaron moved closer to him, trying to focus on his footing so he doesn't fall over. "It makes my problems better. Not feeling things makes my problems better." He said, trying to make Kurt understand at least a bit what was wrong with him.
Kurt nodded, "Finally, he speaks some sense. Did you think that would make me stay?" he asked as he gulped, trying to keep his voice calm, "Aaron, you made a promise too me about this and, what... The going gets tough so tough start drinking?". He sighed and turned so he wasn't looking at Aaron, "I can't make this better for you"
Aaron didn't know what to do, he didn't know how to make him stay. "I know I promised you. Drinking is just what I do when I have problems, I didn't mean for it to get like this, I didn't mean to lie to you, Marley, anybody. I just didn't know what else to do." This was exactly why he hated breaking promises, especially to Kurt. "Please, Kurt. I know I fucked up really, really badly but I didn't mean to let myself get this bad."
Kurt clutched his arms around him, "I gave you one more chance. I told Ale, one more chance. Every time is one more chance" he said, tears filling his eyes once again as he turned back around, "And everytime, you freaking ruin it" he shouted, not caring now if he made Aaron angry. "You'd think after everything you'd have grown up by now Aaron. You are meant to be a leader and a brother and you are failing at both!"
He didn't need Kurt to shout, he knew he fucked up every time Kurt gave him another chance. "I'm not failing at being a leader. The Ghoulies are doing great." He didn't even try to argue about the brother part, because he was failing at being a brother and he knew it. Aaron didn't know what else to do instead "I'm sorry I can't have normal fucking breakdowns like you do! I'm sorry I keep fucking up because I'm not used to having to be a brother! What more do you want from me!"
"Oh of course the Ghoulies would be doing just great... What was it, Ghoulie first, Hummel second right? Make you sure you look out for number one!" Kurt said, venom in his voice. He scoffed and gulped, "Normal breakdowns are not what I am asking. Scream and shout and make me stay for all I care, but downing 5 bottles of whatever shit it is, that's too far! I want you to try! That's all I've ever fucking wanted and you clearly just.... It's always a fucking disappointment" he said, turned away once again and taking another step towards the door.
“That’s not how I am anymore, Kurt. I’m a Ghoulie and a Hummel first.” Aaron pushed his hair back, trying to make sense of what to do. “I do try! I try so fucking hard to do this right, I keep fucking up and I’m sorry that I can’t do this the way you want. I’m sorry that drinking is what I turned to instead of literally anything else. Just please, please don’t leave.” He put his hand on Kurt’s shoulder, gripping it so he doesn’t leave and can also stabilize himself at the same time.
"Oh yeah and what changed cause the Ghoulies still made you there leader"! Kurt spat back, "The words 'one more chance' lose their meaning if I keep giving you chances Aaron". He felt Aaron grip his shoulder and looked down at the hand, "I don't want to stay with you" he said quietly, "Why are you doing this" he breathed out but he didn't try and remove Aarons hand
“The Ghoulies trust me. They think I’ll be a good leader and so far, I have.” Aaron did agree that one more chance becomes meaningless if he gets more, but he didn’t say anything, he needed another chance. “I can’t deal with Dad getting arrested, whatever the hell is going on with Marley, and leading the Ghoulies on top of that alone. I need you.” He kept his grip on his shoulder. “I’ll get sober again, completely. I’ll do whatever you need me to do, I won’t lie or keep secrets.”
Kurt scoffed, "And I trusted you to be a good brother yet here we are". He thought about the problems, "You cut dad off years ago, think how I feel about that and yet, I didn't hit the bottle. I needed you this whole time and you haven't been there". He put his hand on top of Aarons, "Get it off me" he warned, "I told you I didn't want to stay... Unless you finally got the balls to make me" he spat, glaring at his brother.
Aaron shook his head, "That's because you're a better person than I am." At the warning, he shook his head again. He kept his grip, even tried to pull him back a bit so he's further away from the door. "Why can't you just stay for tonight? We can talk when I'm not drunk and can actually do shit that makes sense." He said.
Kurt actually laughed, "So much better that I'm the one defending a potential murderer". He looked down at the grop once more, "Come on big man" he said, not sure where this need to piss Aaron of came from, "Why would I want to stay here and watch you drink yourself to death? Now unless you are brave and man enough to make me stay, I'd suggest getting your hand off me" he said, his voice as calm as he could with years running down his face.
NOW FOR THE HEADCANONS OF THE REST OF THIS HEARTACHE
They continued to argue for a bit and in a drunken fit of rage, Aaron dragged Kurt to his room by his wrist and locked him in, barricading the door so he wouldn’t be able to leave.
Kurt spent the night banging on the door, begging Aaron to open it and let him go until he finally fell asleep sometime in the early morning
Whilst Kurt was trying to get Aaron to let him out, Aaron continued to drink but he did cry and block out the sound from Kurt’s room.
Come morning, when Kurt finally woke up… He started pounding the door again, wanting to be let out of the room so he could leave.
Aaron woke to the noise and came to un-barricade the door and then unlock it and Kurt stormed out the room, very angry.
Aaron didn’t remember doing it. Didn’t remember why or how he even locked Kurt in his room but when Kurt told him, he freaked out and apologised hundreds of times, telling Kurt ‘His drinking hadn’t been this bad in two years’.
Kurt calmed down enough to tell Aaron that he was going to find somewhere else to stay until Aaron got help and got sober, that he didn’t want to stay there with him at the moment out of fear this might happen again.
Kurt makes it very clear that he will come back to Aaron when Aaron is sober and staying sober but it will be ‘his one final chance. No more chances after this’
Broken || Hummelbros Para
Who: @gleedalekurt && @ghoulishboyhummel
When: 26th April 2019
What: Kurt isn’t coping with the news and Aaron is there to pick up the pieces
Triggers: Blink and you’ll miss it self harm (Kurt bangs his head a little), blink and you’ll miss it vomiting.
Notes: Kurt in BOLD && Aaron in NORMAL
Word Count: 2744
Kurt could not believe it when he saw The Register and he broke, the moment he saw it. His dad had been arrested for murder, mass murder. He ran straight to the bathroom and vomited the moment he saw it, feeling sick to his stomach. This terrified him, everything about it. He didn't move from the bathroom floor as his body wracked his sobs, every inch of him shaking, his eyes not stopping. He didn't know where Aaron was or how long he'd be but he knew he wouldn't be moving for a while. He pulled his knees to his chest, gently banging his head on the wall as he screamed out, "Why did you do this!"
Aaron went out immediately after he saw The Register. He needed a whole lot of alcohol to deal with what he just read, that Burt had been arrested for being the Black Hood. Which made sense the more he thought about it. But what was important was getting back home to Kurt and making sure he's okay. Once he got in, he sat down the bag on the counter, only running to the bathroom when he heard Kurt scream. "Kurt!" He yelled out, getting down on his knees and pulling his brother away from the wall.
Kurt tried to fight Aaron's hold as he continued to scream and shout, "he's our fucking dad Aaron and he, what, he killed over 30 people" he said as he tried to push Aaron away. He wanted to punch something, wanted to hit the wall behind him as his emotions ran through him and his breathing became more uneven, "H...Hes m...my d...d...dad"
Aaron didn't stop holding onto him, "I know, I know he is. I'm sorry this happened, Kurt. But banging your head to the wall isn't going to help." He said. "Take a deep breath, can you do that for me? Breathe in, breathe out." Remembering what he said last time he went to calm him down, Aaron moved to grab his hands and held them.
Kurt gave up fighting Aaron's hold when he realised he wasn't letting go and dropped his head, "This wasn't supposed to happen" he shouted out, "Dad, he.... all those people". He tried to control his breathing but wasn't having any joy as more sobs came. When Aaron grabbed his hands he squeezed down, "I need to get out of town Aaron. I can't be around here for this! The things I've said and now this happens!"
Aaron nodded, "Don't let what that fucker did try to drive you out of town. Everything is gonna be okay." He ran his thumbs over Kurt's knuckles, "None of this is your fault, you had nothing to do with this. You tried defending him after everything and he got worse but no one is expecting you to have had any clue that this was going to happen."
Kurt shook his head, "How could I not know a thing? I lived there. I was there this whole time. Benji said I should have been able to tell there was problem and I should have!". He gripped Aaron's hands like his life depended on it as he tried once again to take deep breathes, "W....W...What am I gunna do?"
Of course Benji said something, he was so anti-Hummel nowadays Aaron is surprised he didn't get a personal message about it. "Don't you ever listen to Benji about something like this, okay? You shouldn't have. Murder is so out of left field, no one could have guessed. Especially not you." At the question he resisted the urge to shrug, because he didn't know what he was going to do. "You're going to stay here with me and calm down. You're not going to let anyone give you any shit whatsoever over this and if someone does you just tell me their name and I'll beat their ass."
Kurt gulped, "He just, I don't want the town to hate me Aaron but let's be real, if they are mad at Burt if they want revenge, it's me they'll go for. You have nothing to do with dad" he cried harder, "I want to leave. Say bye to you and Ale and just go... Away from all this"
"You don't either. Everyone knows what happened between the two of you, and I'm serious. If anyone says something remotely close to wanting revenge against you then tell me and I'll take care of it." He hated seeing him cry, especially hated him wanting to leave. "I know, but I also know I would miss you like crazy. Ale too."
Kurt gulped as he squeezed his eyes shut, "Someone could kill me. They could kill you. An eye for an eye... It's not safe for us in this town any more". He squeezed Aarons hand and lent forward, resting his head on Aarons shoulder, "I can't do this Aaron".
Aaron shook his head, "Not everyone in town is trained in Krav Maga like Benji. I know Gabe is, but he won't hurt me. So with that worry out of the way, I'll beat anyone in town. I'll keep you safe." He told him, removing one of his hands to soothe it down Kurt's back. "You can do this, I know you can."
Kurt looked up to his brother, his eyes red and glassy, his lip trembling and his face showed how broken he was, "I can't Aaron. I wouldn't be surprised if Ale leaves me. He's a doctor dating the Black Hoods son..."
Seeing Kurt probably broke his heart more than anything, "Ale won't leave you. He loves you. Black Hoods son or not." Aaron told him. Trying to keep his composure so he doesn't have a breakdown while trying to keep Kurt calm.
Kurt shook his head, "He has a career to worry about which is worth more then some stupid boy who's had a crush for years. Dad's ruined our lives and yet, I don't want him to go to prison... He'd die in there".
Aaron agreed with that, their dad would definitely die in prison. "You're not some stupid boy. He loves you and if he even thinks about putting his career first then I will have some words with him."
"But I am" he argued, "if I wasn't I wouldn't be like this over a murderer. I would not be sobbing over a man like Burt", and saying the name brought fresh emotions to him, wracking through his body, so hard.
"He's still your dad. Of course you'd be like this, you trusted him and he fucked it up." Aaron responded. "You're sobbing because this is fucked and you want to believe it's not true because of the man he showed himself to be. There's nothing wrong with that."
Kurt looked back up at Aaron, his lip quivering again, "My dad, the mass murderer" he breathed, "Aaron, I can't believe he did this. If I believe that then I might as well give in and say dragons and witches are real. Dad wouldn't have done this".
He didn't tell Kurt that he believed Burt did it, or could believe that Burt did it. Because there's no point in hurting his brother more. "No one said you have to believe it. Like Ale's been saying, they need to have a whole lot more evidence to definitively say anything."
Kurt dropped his head once more, shifting himself closer to Aaron as he felt his body start to shake again, "Aaron, I can't face this" he spoke slowly, "You, your braver then me... But I can't face this, face the world and pretend that everything is OK".
Aaron also didn't tell Kurt that he wasn't braver than him, that he was planning on crying into his drinks tonight once he falls asleep, because there's no point in breaking down too. "You can. If he did do this, it proves that you've always been 20 times the man he ever hoped to be and that you're nothing like him. If he didn't do this then you'll show that you've always been 20 times the person anyone in Riverdale ever hoped to be because you believed when others wouldn't. You're braver than you think, Kurt."
Kurt scoffed, "And what do I do in the meantime Aaron. If I protest his innocence people will come after me. I'm too scared to go out. I can't live the next god knows how long, stuck in hell" he spoke, screaming the last word as he broke and started to hit out, his fists pounding on Aarons chest, not too hard as his emotions weakened him.
Aaron didn't do anything to stop Kurt from pounding on his chest, if anyone understood punching something out of emotional distress then it's him. Even if he was sure a small bruise was going to come out of it. "No one is going to come after you, understand? No one is going to even think about coming after you for this unless they want me involved, I'm not going to let you get hurt." He finally said, still letting Kurt pound away until he was done.
Kurts punches got weaker as Aarons words registered in his mind, "But what if they do? I know I'd want revenge on the son of a bitch who did this. He killed my ex boyfriend and people I worked with". He gulped and looked up at Aaron, "You know what he did to Darius".
He shook his head, "They won't come after you. They are more than welcome to come after me but you are completely off-limits." Aaron bit his lip slightly and nodded, "Of course I know what he did to Dare. He tried saying I did it, remember? But no worries about any Serpents coming after you for revenge. That would start a gang war no one wants to happen."
Kurt shook his head once again, "You have no effect on Burt Hummel" he said matter of fact, "I'm still the son that can go back. The son that he cares about so much and you, he thinks of you as trash". He gulped and added, "If something happens to me, please don't start a war. I don't want to be responsible for that too".
Well, that kind of stung a little. Even if it was true. "I don't know if the people who would want revenge care much about if it hurts Burt. They just want to hurt whoever they can get their hands on." At the addition, Aaron shrugged a little. "If a Serpent hurts you, then I'll talk to Dare. If absolutely nothing happens after that, then I'll at least go after that Serpent and that might be what starts a war. But I doubt it'll happen."
Kurt laughed, "Ok then they'll go for the brother who spent 21 years telling the Southside just how much he hates them". He bit his lip, "I'm not leaving this place, not until I know it's safe and Aaron, I'm begging you to do the same".
Aaron hated when Kurt was begging him to do something, because it was usually something he couldn't do. "I can't, Kurt. I have a gang to lead, someone is looking to join and I have to be there for that."
Kurt shook his head, "Aaron please" he begged, gripping his shirt, "I can't be alone right now and I can't do this without you. Please I can't be alone. Please please please" he begged, stuck in his own head.
Aaron shook his head, "I'm not leaving you alone right now. I'm in for the night, I'm not leaving. I might not even leave tomorrow so I'll be here with you." He pushed some of his hair out of his face, "But I can't stay here 24/7 until everything is taken care of."
Kurt repeated the pleases again,his body starting to rock, as if he was complety stuck in his own head, "You cant" he whimpered, "Please I need you"
Aaron knew he promised Kurt that he wouldn't lie to him anymore, but Kurt was going to lose his mind if Aaron didn't agree. "Fine, I'll stay here at home with you where it's safe. 24/7 and only leaving when we need more food."
Kurt nodded, "Please Aaron, I can't be alone, not now" he begged, "I can't, I can't... Please I can't" he repeated still trapped in his mind
Seeing him still not snapping out of it, Aaron grabbed onto Kurt's shoulders. "Kurt, listen to me. I am here. You're not alone."
Kurt looked upwards again and gulped, "Aaron" he breathed, his mind frozen, "What's going to happen".
"Happen tonight or in the future? Either way, good things. Everything is going to be okay." Aaron responded.
Kurt gave a sad smile, "I mean in general? Will Ale leave me, will someone hurt us? Will dad get killed" he spoke, his voice calmer but tears still in his eyes, "What happens to us if he is guilty".
Aaron shook his head, "Ale won't leave you, and no one will hurt us." He didn't have an answer on the last two though. "Dad won't get killed." Probably a lie, but he said it anyway. "We'll stick together, that's what happens."
Kurt nodded and leant back into Aaron, "We have to have each others backs cause, I got a feeling we are in for a rough ride" he explained, "I got a feeling we are going to struggle". He pushed himself backwards, "I need to get some rest. I'm exhausted but I don't think I can sleep".
Aaron nodded too, he knew they were. He saw what people were saying to Dare and Blaine when their dad confessed to murdering Sebrina, one person. People would definitely have something to say about their dad being a mass murderer. At the mention of sleep he nodded again, “That sounds like a good idea. Let’s get you to bed and I’ll chill there until you fall asleep.”
Kurt stood up and wondered to his bedroom, flopping down on the bed as soon as he got there, "Would be OK if you just, I don't, held my hand or cuddled me or something. I know that's not the type of brother we are but I need to feel safe".
Aaron followed him to his bedroom, ready to just sit and wait for him to fall asleep. But then Kurt asked for more and Aaron nodded in response, “Of course it’s okay.” He moved over and laid down on the bed next to him. “Just cause I’m against my own emotions doesn’t mean I won’t do shit like this for you.”
Kurt sighed as Aaron laid next to him and he rolled, placing his head on Aaron's chest as he closed his eyes, "We are going to be OK right? Even if Dad is a mass murdering psychopath?" he asked as he placed an arm over Aaron. He wanted sleep, needed it but was too scared to drift off
Aaron didn't move away from him as Kurt put his head on his chest and put an arm over him, and nodded at the question. "Of course we are. Even if Dad is a mass murdering psychopath, we're going to be OK. I promise."
Kurt sighed and nodded, "If Dad is guilty.... I don't think I'm going to stay in town" he said, his mind made up on the matter, "I'm going to find some way out, or die trying".
He tried not to show a reaction to his words, because it made sense. Of course he'd want to leave, and Aaron shouldn't want to keep him here. "If that's what you think is best for you, I'll help you any way I can."
Kurt nodded, his body growing tired from his emotions. The mix of tiredness and upset made him shake a little, "Aaron, I don't know what's going to happen but if I leave, I need you to promise you'll keep safe".
Aaron nodded, but it was another lie he was telling him. If Kurt left then he'd probably throw himself into the Ghoulies 110%. "I promise. I'll stay safe if you end up leaving."
Kurt nodded and sighed his eyes fluttered shut and yawned, "Imma try sleep now" he said tiredly, "Love you Aaron" he whispered out.
Good, sooner he sleeps, sooner Aaron can get to drinking the alcohol he bought. "Okay. Love you too, Kurt."
He ain’t heavy||Hummelbros Para
Who: @gleedalekurt && @ghoulishboyhummel
When: 27th March 2018
Where: Pop’s parking lot
Notes: The day Kurt was kicked out by Burt, Aaron comes to help him calm down. Lots of brotherly love.
Triggers: Anxiety/Panic Attacks
Word count: 4,732
KURT in BOLD && AARON in ITALIC
Kurt didn't know what he was going to do. He'd left the police station, gone home to pack a small bag and grab his car and then driven to the only place he knew was open 24 hours a day and where he would feel safe if he had to sleep in his car. He was finding it more difficult to control his breathing and knew it wasn't safe to start driving when his tears just wouldn't stop falling. His doors were unlocked as he was expecting Aaron and he was sat in the drivers seat, the chair back tilted slightly and his knees pulled up to his chest, his head feeling light from the sobbing and his chest was hurting.
Aaron was fuming, he couldn't believe Burt had the nerve to kick Kurt out. Especially just because he wasn't agreeing with everything he says now, and then calling him a disappointment on top of it? If it wouldn't land him in serious trouble he'd probably go storming into the station and start yelling at him. But he told Kurt he'd be there, so that's where he was going. He threw on his Ghoulie jacket and went out to his motorcycle, driving quickly to Pop's and parking next to his brother's car. Aaron moved over to the passenger's side and got in, "Hey, almost decided to go to the station instead to ask Burt what the fuck he was thinking but I'll have time to do that later." He spoke with a grin, trying to cheer him up already.
Kurt watched as Aaron pulled up and and heard him get on the car and say words. He knew Aaron was trying to make him laugh, but his body wasn't responding as he continued to sob. His breathing was erratic and he felt like he was having another panic attack. Before he could stop himself from doing so, his body fell into Aaron's, his face buried itself in Aaron's side, "I...I...I r..ruined everything" he choked out.
For a moment, Aaron had no clue what to do, comforting was not something he had much experience in. But he gently rubbed his hand up and down Kurt’s body. “You didn’t ruin everything, Kurt. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Right now he had to put his anger at Burt aside and try to figure out how to calm his brother down before things got worse. “Take deep breaths, okay?”
Kurt didn't know how uncomfortable he was making Aaron feel, he'd imagined Aaron hadn't had to deal with this type of emotion before or in a long time but, he knew he needed someone strong to just hold him and tell him it was OK. It didn't even bother Kurt any more that he was in fact crying into a Ghoulie jacket. He nodded and tried hard to control his breathing, his hands shaking as they clung to Aaron's top, "I've lost everything" he cried, "My dad, my home, my job... I'm surprised you and Ale even want to stick around" he sobbed.
“We want to stick around because we care about you and love you. If you honestly think you’re too much of a wreck for us to want to be around then that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” Since it seemed to he working, Aaron kept his hand motions going, “None of that was your fault and Ale and I know that. It was Burt not being able to handle that his word isn’t law anymore.” The suggestion that Aaron of all people wouldn’t stick around was laughable to him, especially since he continuously thought that it would be the other way around.
Kurt moved his head slightly so he was now staring at the window but he still had it pressed against Aaron. Even for him, the felt foreign, getting a hug from your brother. Especially our badass Ghoulie brother. He tried to smile but it didn't work and so he nodded, "Dad was so awful" he said, sounding a bit more coherent but still broken, "He called you Ghoulie trash. He's meant to be your father and he called that". If Kurt was honest, hearing such hurtful things about Aaron had nearly destroyed him, "He also said they were looking at making an arrest, soon" he admitted, not sure how Aaron would react. He hadn't specifically said it was Aaron they were coming for because the words, they burnt at him even thinking about them.
Aaron nodded, like he was barely even phased by his adopted father’s comments. “I think we dropped the father/son relationship a while back. Besides, I’ve been called way worse than Ghoulie trash.” At this point, Burt was just the Sheriff of this town and he was just a dealer for one of the gangs in it. But even that couldn’t prepare him for hearing that they were going to make an arrest. It wasn’t hard to guess that it was an arrest for him. “How? What bullshit evidence do they have to claim it was me when two people have told them it wasn’t?” He wasn’t really expecting Kurt to have an answer, but it was getting harder to mask his anger over everything.
Kurt shook his head, "But you're not Aaron" he breathed out, pushing himself upright so he could look in Aaron's eyes, "If you were Ghoulie trash, do you think it I'd honestly have begged you to come to me. You are my brother and nothing, not even dad, can change that Aaron". Kurt had found, in the last few weeks, he'd grown emourously attached to Aaron. He couldn't imagine having been able to follow through on cutting him out. He gulped, "I don't know. When I told him that I was going to live with you, after forbidding it, he asked where I would go when they arrested you."
“Doesn’t matter if I am or not, Ghoulie trash is what most people think of when they first look at me.” Hearing Kurt say that not even their dad can change that they’re brothers would have probably brought a tear to his eye if he wasn’t so dead set on hiding his emotions as much as possible. “He tried to forbid it? He does know how old we are, right?” It almost even made him laugh if the situation wasn’t so fucked. “We don’t have to worry about that, okay? If they arrest me I’ll get out in no time and you can just stay in our place.”
Kurt shook his head, "People need to not think like that. Ghoulie trash is the asshole who tortured me, not the man who tried to defend me". Kurt realised, this was the first time he'd said Aaron had tried to defend him in that situation, "Yeah, he said it wasn't going to happen, that he actually forbid it. It's why he told me not to come back. He kicked me out, with no where to go, with a killer on the loose". Kurt leaned in once again and rested his head on Aaron's shoulder, "I won't let them arrest you Aaron. It'd hurt dad a lot more if he had to lock me up for perverting the course of justice".
Hearing him say that he tried to defend him against his former leader hurt Aaron just a bit, because he really didn’t think he did. “Trash by association. Most Northsiders see everyone on the Southside as trash anyway, being in a gang just makes it worse.” Aaron shook his head a bit, as both a Sheriff and a father, kicking your son out of the house with a serial killer roaming around was the stupidest thing he’s ever heard of. If something happened to Kurt, he really hoped it’d make Burt crazy with guilt. Shifting his arm around him a bit, he shook his head again, “No. If I get arrested then you have to promise me the only thing you’ll do is bail me out when that’s an option. Other then that, you don’t worry about me.”
Kurt shook his head, "Aaron you aren't trash, stop saying that" he begged, his voice breaking again. He felt his tears continue to fall down his face as he listened to the only person he had speak and gulped, "I want to hurt him. I want him question his morals and you won't make him do that".
“I’m just telling you what other people think. I think I am the opposite of trash.” But Aaron did decide to stop once he heard the voice break and saw the tears when he glanced at him. “If you want to hurt him then find a way that won’t lead to you getting in a cell next to me.” Jail sucked, but he could handle it again as long as Kurt isn’t in there with him.
Kurt felt his breathing start to speed up again as it hit him, he really had no home left. He say upright and started slamming his dashboard, "How could he do this to me" he screamed, almost like his body was going into shock, "How could he do this too us".
Well fuck, now he really didn’t know what to do. He moved and grabbed Kurt’s hands to try and still his body a little. “Because he’s an asshole that’s losing his grip on everything. It’s just his job screwing us over again and him going along with it.” He still blames Burt taking on the role of Sheriff for being why he ran away, and now it was just more reason to hate it.
Kurt gripped Aaron's hands like his life depended on it as sobs wracked through his body, he didn't know what to do and he knew Aaron wouldn't. He squeezed his eyes shut, "What if the Black Hood have gotten me" he cried, "Why did he have to choose his job Aaron, how am I meant to do this without a father?".
Aaron really wished he knew what to do to get Kurt to stop crying, but he didn’t. “I personally think fathers are overrated. I lived without one for most of my life and look at me, I’m great.” He let out a sigh, wracking his brain for ideas, “You don’t need him. You have me, Ale, and you have to have some friends here. The Black Hood won’t get near you. I promise.”
Kurt couldn't stop his sobbing as he fell back into Aaron's side, "This isn't fair too you" he cried out, "I'm just making myself look like an idiot when really, I brought this on myself. Aaron, I should have listened to you...".
Once he was back to leaning against his side, Aaron put his arm around him again. “Nothing about Burt is fair. But it’s way more unfair to you than me.” He shook his head, “While everyone should always listen to me about everything, you didn’t bring this on yourself.”
Kurt felt like he was deflating, his breathing coming back to control, his hands shaking as they clung to Aaron's clothing, "I'm sorry I'm putting you through this" he breathed finally, "I know we don't have that relationship where I can just cry at you, I'm sorry Aaron".
Another head shake, there was no reason for Kurt to apologize, especially after this. “Don’t be sorry. You can cry at me anytime, we are brothers after all. And it’s not like I wouldn’t be crying if I was in your position.” Burt was the one putting them through this, not Kurt.
Kurt's breathing was once again under control and he was determined to keep it that way. His hands were still shaking however, the pain inside him making him feel numb, "But you haven't ever had to deal with me crying" he muttered quietly, "Aaron, I'm scared. I've been so scared in my life".
"Kurt. Just because I haven't had to deal with you crying before doesn't mean that I'm going to blame you for any of it." Aaron was glad that his breathing was under control again, although he didn't have a solution for the hands shaking. "You'll get through this, okay? I'll work on finding a place quicker, but you'll be safe with Ale in the meantime."
Kurt sighed and stared at Aaron, "You left home when you were young and you never seemed too bothered by it" he spoke softly, his emotions draining him, "I don't know how you did. We'd only just lost mum. She'd be miserable if she could see what he'd become.... What we'd all become" and he gulped on the last word, willing himself not to cry again. He wanted his hands to stop shaking so he took a breath and asked, "Can you just, hold my hands?"
He really wasn't expecting to think about when he ran away but that's what they're talking about now it seems. "I was very bothered by it. I didn't want to leave you but dad was just so busy with being Sheriff and I let my anger take over." Aaron nodded about what their mom would think, "I try not to think about how disappointed she'd be in me. Can't imagine the kind of spiral I'd go into if I did." He didn't respond to the question, just shifted his position again and held onto Kurt's shaking hands.
Kurt nodded, "Had I come to look for you, would you have considered coming back? Had I approached you instead of dad, would it have made a difference?". He didn't know why, tonight of all nights, he wanted to ask the hard questions, he already felt broken but it seemed like now, it was a good time, "Mum wouldn't be disappointed Aaron. She'd see what you are doing for me right now, after everything I put you through and she'd be proud". He hardly spoke of his mother, the emotions he had for her so strong but she was Aaron's mother too and he needed to hear it, "It's taken my while to realise it but, I got really lucky that they picked you to be my brother. Now more then ever, I feel like it was one of the best things that happened". Holding Aaron's hands, he felt his start to calm, as his thumb mindlessly stroked Aaron's hand.
Aaron wasn't even sure the answer to the questions, "Maybe. I was angry for a while after I left so there's a small chance I would've told you to fuck off too." He knew that part wasn't true. If Kurt had come to his trailer like Burt did, he probably would have left, or at least not been rude about it. "Proud of this, sure. But mother's aren't usually proud to have an alcoholic drug dealer for a son. She'd be proud of you though, being nice enough to give me another chance, having a hot boyfriend, everything a mom could want." He grinned when Kurt spoke again, glad that he thought he was lucky for it, "I got really lucky they picked me too. Even if they denied my first request of adopting my friend Jason, it definitely was one of the best things that happened."
Kurt nodded, "I remember waking up and finding the note and I didn't know what to do" he admitted, "I was so scared and I was alone and dad was, dad was being dad". He shook his head, "Aaron stop. You know mum would be super proud of this and super proud of us. I don't think you'd be doing what you are doing if she was still here". Kurt listened to the nice things Aaron said, "You deserved another chance after everything. I was the one who shouldn't have been given a chance". Kurt sighed, "You deserve to be happy and I hope you can be".
"You were scared?" Aaron didn't know why that was so surprising to hear, he'd be scared if he woke up and Kurt was gone too. But maybe it was just because he usually thinks of himself as someone who doesn't deserve a brother like Kurt. "I wouldn't. If she was still here I'd probably be a completely different person, a lot nicer too." He tried his hardest to not laugh when his brother said that he didn't deserve a chance, "Why shouldn't you have a chance? You didn't do anything." A nod, "I am happy. Knowing I didn't completely fuck up our relationship makes me very happy." He told him.
Kurt nodded, "I woke up too a note saying you were gone. I had to tell Dad. Can you imagine how he felt and how angry he was". Kurt looked out the window as he continued to stroke Aaron's hands with his own, "Mum would be super proud of us, as brothers. She might disagree with some of the things you do and some of the things I've done but as brothers, I think we're getting it right". He shrugged his shoulders, "I kept pushing you away. I kept making it worse for us. Had I been you, I'd have told me to do one".
He shook his head, "Anger I can imagine, not much else." Though that was before he became the fuck up he is now, so maybe Burt did feel something else besides anger. Kurt stroking his hands calmed down his anger more than he thought it would, and even though that probably wasn't his goal, it was nice. "I think we're getting it right too." Aaron laughed a little, "I pushed you away and made things worse for seven years. I never blamed you for wanting us to be done. Each time you said it, I understood."
Kurt shook his head, “He was pretty upset Aaron. I know it hadn’t been going well but one of his sons had just disappeared in the night, he didn’t know how to deal with that”. He gulped, his fingers tracing the skin on the back of Aaron’s hand, “We are getting it right Aaron and you know Mum would be so proud to see us right now. Two brothers, even if not by birth, loving and caring for each other when one of them needed it the most”. He heard the last words and sighed, “I don’t want to say those words again. Losing you now, it would hurt so much more”.
“Well while he was figuring out how to deal with it, I was probably carrying around a skull and getting ready for the blood pact. Usual Ghoulie initiation stuff.” He wasn’t purposefully changing the subject to avoid thinking about Burt feeling sad or something similar about him leaving, but it was a bonus. Aaron nodded while he talked about them getting it right, “It’s probably a good thing we’re not brothers by birth. If we were then I’d probably be hurt by Burt’s plan to arrest me over than think it’s a minor inconvenience.” He was glad Kurt didn’t want to say it again, losing him would probably destroy him. “I can’t imagine losing you during this shit.”
“Carrying around a skull and doing blood pacts” Kurt said shocked, “You have to know that is not normal”. He shook his head, “The Ghoulies will never be something I am interested in but with you as the leader, I’d feel safe from them”. Kurt shook his head once again, “This should be more then a minor inconvenience, this should worry you. Until the Black Hood is caught at least”. Kurt gave a small sad smile, “I just think we’ve done really hard to get this far and I love you so much as a brother Aaron”.
“Course it’s not normal normal, but it’s pretty Ghoulie normal. All part of the initiation to get in and shit.” Aaron was glad that Kurt had absolutely no interest in the Ghoulies, because the gang life would not work for both of them. “You would be safe. If Jackson and Viv think it’s a good idea then you’ll be fine.” He shook his head with a light laugh, “What should worry me? Getting arrested because they made up some bullshit evidence? I don’t care about getting locked up again, I’ll get out in no time.” He ran some fingers through his hair and nodded in agreement. “I love you as a brother too, Kurt.”
Kurt shook his head, "Carrying a skull around is as far from normal as you can get Aaron" he explained as he realised he was still holding Aaron's hands. He looked down at them and nodded, "This is weird, now I think about it" he smiled, not letting go, "We've never really the type of brothers that held hands to calm one of us down but here we are". He lifted his head to look up at Aaron, "I gotta be the luckiest guy in the world given the circumstances".
Aaron shrugged a little, "It was just for a week. I was 14, thought it was pretty cool." He laughed at that next comment, it was true. It was really weird for him to do, but he didn't completely hate it if it was helping Kurt. "It's really fucking weird." He agreed, though shook his head at the last part, "Stop saying you're lucky because I'm not winning the worst brother award. No circumstance could make it so I wouldn't want to be there for you to hold your hands and calm you down."
Kurt rolled his eyes, "OK that make it weirder. You were a fourteen year old kid and they let you carry a skull around for a week". He smiled at their hands again, "It works at calming me down. Physical proof that someone is holding me and making it OK". He looked down at the floor of the car, "I am lucky. My parents picked you, out of all the children they could have. That's luck Aaron, I'm not sure many others would have stood by me through everything".
"It was part one of the initiation. Nothing weird about it." Aaron responded, taking note that this hand holding thing is something he should keep in mind in case something like this happens again. "I will give you luck for getting me, you could have gotten Ricky, that kid was more of a little shit than I was. But anyone who wouldn't have stood by you doesn't deserve you."
Kurt gave a small laugh, "If that's part one, I don't wanna know what part 2 was". He nodded at the words and smiled at Aaron, "You are one of the best things in my life right now" he admitted, "But after everything I put you through... Making you jump through hoops to keep me in your life, I wouldn't have blamed you for walking away".
Aaron grinned, “Part 2 was learning Ghoulie laws, actually. Much tamer.” He laughed lightly, “Though the last part was the blood pact so, back up to 100 on that.” Hearing that he was one of the best things in his life right now was really surprising, and he’s pretty sure his face showed it for at least a second. “I walked away once before, I wasn’t going to do it again. If forcing myself to stay sober and be honest with you is what it takes, then I’ll do it.”
Kurt shook his head, "You made a blood pact with someone?" he asked, "You know that is super dangerous right? Like you could have gotten a disease from that". The idea of swapping blood with someone was something that made him feel a little sick. Kurt noticed the look of surprise and gave a small smile, "You don't need to be so surprised. Anyone would be lucky to get to have you in their lives, whether you agree or not. The biggest problem with you, is you think you deserve shit when you really don't".
He shrugged, “Anyone that had diseases was left out. Again, I was 14 and thought it was pretty cool, I usually only saw stuff like that in movies.” And Aaron shrugged again while Kurt spoke, “Pretty sure there are bigger problems with me besides my occasional self deprecation.” He commented, brushing everything he said off because whether he’d admit it or not, Kurt was probably right about all of that.
Kurt gave a soft laugh, "And how would they know? It's not like everyone is going to declare they have some sort of illness. I'm just saying, it's a dangerous practise to have in play". Kurt raised an eyebrow, "You aren't a problem Aaron. You are my brother and I love you" he breathed, finally letting go of Aaron's hand and turning to look him in the eyes, "I freaking love you Aaron so stop trying to convince me otherwise".
“Just gotta trust they’re being honest. One of the main points of being in a gang, dangerous or not, Ghoulies are for life and that’s what the pact is supposed to represent.” Aaron didn’t make any movements until he was done talking, “I love you too. And I’m never purposefully trying to convince you otherwise, I’m just always warning people like you, or Blaine, or Marley that there are a lot of downsides to being near me.”
Kurt nodded but dropped it. He didn't like hearing Aaron call them family when he was actual family and he tried to hide the hurt in his eyes from the hurt. He gave another small smile when Aaron said he loved him, "I don't need warning against it Aaron, I'm big enough to make my own decisions".
Aaron may be oblivious to most, if not all, things involving emotions, but even he could tell that talking about the Ghoulies caused some kind of emotional distress in his brother, but for some reason he didn’t say anything. “Of course you are. But I don’t want to see you upset or hurt because of one of my stupid and impulsive decisions.”
Kurt sighed and pushed himself away from Aaron, looking down at the steering wheel as he did and take a deep breath, "I am really sorry I've dragged you away from whatever you had planned tonight" he breathed. He gave a sad smile and nodded, "Look, I can go to Alejandro's if you want".
Kurt pushing himself away wasn’t what he was expecting, but if that’s what he wanted then Aaron won’t do anything to stop him. “You didn’t drag me away from anything. I came here because I wanted to help you calm down and try to cheer you up a little. Plus, I didn’t have any plans. If I wasn’t here I’d probably be watching some of my older movies or messing around on my guitar.” He brushed his hair out of his face, “If you want to go to Alejandro’s until I find a place, that’s fine with me. But there’s no way you’re staying in the Pop’s parking lot when there’s a serial killer on the loose.”
Kurt felt a little sad once more as he leaned his head against the window. He didn;t know how to be with Aaron, whether just pulling him into a hug like he'd wanted to do for years would scare the man away, "I don't really want to sleep in my car any way and Alejandro said he would have me for a while if needed so, I'll go there till you found us somewhere else".
“Sounds like a plan. Do you want me to drive you there? You’re not shaking anymore but I don’t think it’d be the best idea.” Thinking about his motorcycle parked right next to the car they’re in, he added, “I can just grab my bike afterwards.” Just in case Kurt would have said no on the grounds of his own transportation.
Kurt shook his head, "I can drive" he breathed out, "I drove here and I was sobbing then so I am sure I can drive to Alejandro's". He looked up at Aaron and smiled, "Thank you for coming here today" he smiled, "I really needed it".
Aaron bit his lip slightly, wanting to insist on driving him but instead staying silent. “Of course, Kurt. Anytime you need and/or want me for something, I’ll be there.”
Kurt smiled and nodded at Aaron, "I know you will be" he smiled, "Love you Aaron"
love and war / aaliyah + aaron
Aaliyah's father had always been quick to point out the importance of history: "For unless you learn from the past, history will always repeat itself." Cheekily, she had always told her father the same thing: "Not all history is bad, Daddy." And in this case, it certainly wasn't. Aaron was perhaps her favorite habit, and arguably her worst. As the Queen Bee of Mount Olympus High, she had a nice selection to choose from to spend her time, and she often did; rarely did a week pass without a date for her to look forward to. But she always came back to Aaron. He brought out the most primitive side of her, a specific violence she thought a previous man had stuffed. He had been the first to show her how comfortable you could be in your skin, and she was his first. She would always be his first, and it was this fact she took a great private pride in.
They had done this before. Nights together, days together, teeth and nails and hungry mouths. Aaron knew her body as well as she knew his by now. Even then, Aaliyah never let down an opportunity to look her best. Her hair was done, her makeup was flawless, and she had worn a pair of her favorite underwear. Even someone as familiar as Aaron was worth getting dolled up for. Hell, the pizza delivery guy was worth getting dolled up for; Aaliyah didn't waste her first impressions. She waited for Aaron now on her couch, flipping through a magazine until he arrived.
Across the line {Meredith&Aaron}
Assim como de costume, naquele começo de semestre Meredith não pensou duas vezes antes de oferecer sua ajuda para organizar e preparar todos os quadros de aviso dos corredores da faculdade durante as primeiras semanas, esperando ter alguns pontos extras com o corpo docente do lugar, que já a conheciam muito bem. A principio, pensou que realmente só precisaria organizar alguns papéis e separa-los de acordo com a sessão indicada, mas depois de alguns minutos, a morena notou que estavam praticamente lhe explorando e decidiu que iria apenas colocar todos os informativos no corredor principal. E eles que se dessem por satisfeitos.
Ainda havia, no minimo, trinta folhas em suas mãos e uma parte inteira do corredor para preencher. Por um momento ela pensou que pudesse simplesmente jogar os papeis por ai ou sair entregando de mão em mão, afinal todos sabiam que aquilo só serviria para as vésperas de prova ou algum evento importante, caso contrário ninguém prestaria atenção. Mas como sempre, o bom senso falou mais alto e ela apenas suspirou antes de continuar o trabalho. Segurava uma folha no quadro e usava um grampeador, duas vezes maior que um normal, para fixar a folha ali, antes de dar dois passos para o lado e repetir todo o processo uma, duas, três vezes.
Afternoon Delight Attempt || Ryon/Aaron*
Ryon quickly dried off the wet beer glasses. He was in a huge rush and was quite anxious; he had been since that morning when he woke up next to Pepper. Even though Ryon was repulsed by the idea that he even slept with the woman, there was a part of him that thirsted for more. After drying off the last glass, Ryon set it on the table and headed out of puzzles in search of the woman. Even though he was dreading seeing her, they really needed to talk.
It only took Ryon roughly ten minutes to find the familiar shaped female. "Pepper." Ryon called out from down the hall. He marched quickly through the deserted hallway. He grabbed her arm, spun her around prepared to speak. But instead of having words come out of his mouth, the same sexual desire came over him, and he pressed his lips to the brunette's mouth instead.
Closed || allthemutts
Who knew being an art history major would get you so high strung. After spending what felt like his 40th hour in a museum this week alone, Aaron felt like he was ready to burst; there was something so oppressive and stifling about museums and their curators that he was pretty sure he would be getting a tumor before he was thirty. He needed to take some time off and work away his stress- one way or another. Be it via blowjobs or harassing first years (in this case the latter; his luck with the former had been depressing as of late).
"I'm almost certain you've got class right now," Aaron said, fairly sure he was interrupting whatever train of thought this kid was lost in. Creepy, perhaps; but there were only so many art students in the school that you got to recognize people by sight. And seeing how every other student was currently in their intro class, and this kid was dawdling about in the art building's cafe, it wasn't too hard for Aaron to put two and two together.