Oneiric
@krxjohnny
There is a series of repetitive images that go through his head, a recurrent theme when he is asleep. The details are always different each time, but he doesn’t need to be a dream reader to know what they mean or where they come from. It doesn’t feel right to call them products of trauma, because all hell will break loose befor Jung Ilhoon ever admits to have (had) a problem.It would be nice to have nice dreams, silly ones that no one can even begin to decipher and that make little to no sense. Instead, when he is not having nightmares, he simply doesn’t dream (at all).
He remembers that one period of terrible insomnia a couple of years before, when he couldn’t sleep, couldn’t stay awake, couldn’t decide on a happy medium at all. The doctor’s solution was a fast one and yes, sleeping pills help, taking one every night before bed and only waking up in the morning. Then he stopped. Not because he was afraid to become dependent of a little red capsule, but because he wanted to try again. Maybe it’s not so bad anymore, he thinks one night. The next thing he knows he’s jolting up from the bed, trying to even out his breathing. Maybe he’s a masochist after all.
He’s walking through a field of flowers; they’re all daisies, the yellow kind, and they look like little suns. His arms are stretched out, his hands are open, palms facing down, touching the flowers as he moves forward. Yet, his touch leaves a trail of red paint on the yellow petals as if it’s perfectly normal for his hands to simply bleed out paint. Or are they painting out blood... ? The sky isn’t blue but a vibrant yellow, one similar to the tone he likes the most. It’s not very usual for yellow to be someone’s favorite color, but he knows that someone gave that color the association with happiness and a certain genius thought that eating it would put happiness inside him. It’s a weird trail of thought which Ilhoon can understand and maybe that’s why it’s his favorite color, because when he says he wants to be yellow, no one gets the real meaning of that sentence.