#pa!grian

[geojester]

A Dredgen and an Emissary meet in the Observed Realms

[geojester]

your feet find purchase in shifting sands

Fandom: Hermitcraft/Life Series Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Setting: Destiny AU Relationships: Desert Duo (platonic), Grian & Mumbo Info/Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Character Study, 5+1 Things Words: 8.8k Chapters: 6 Complete: Yes!

Summary:

The Watchers bear no understanding of human concepts. Not like the Emissary does. They do not know the meaning of things like fear or regret.

The Emissary knows. Or at least, he thinks he does.

ALTERNATIVELY:

Five times Grian doesn't understand humanity and one time he remembers how

Read on Ao3

[geojester]

his will is no longer wholly his own

[geojester]

everything dies (but only if you let it)

Fandom: Hermitcraft/Life Series Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Setting: Destiny AU Info/Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort Words: 4.4k

Summary:

The Emissary insists that he is no longer Grian. Scar knows better.

OR

Scar's POV of the aftermath of shifting sands chapters 5 and 6.

[fic link]

[geojester]

Grian — Former Guardian turned Emissary of the Watchers

Accompanying piece to Drifter!Scar in the Per Audacia AU

[geojester]

Per Audacia Desert Duo Snippet

Scar doesn’t know how to feel about seeing Grian again. Mainly because he’d never expected to see him again.

Everyone knew those who went in search of the Watchers were doomed to never return. Yet one day there he was, back in Scar’s life in the space of a blink. Proving the rumors wrong.

Or maybe not.

Because Scar knows for a fact that the thing that appeared in front of him isn’t Grian. It may wear his face and use his voice, but it would take more than that to fool Scar.

He sees the way Grian’s pupilless eyes glow an unearthly, unnatural blue. He sees the strange markings on his skin, the way his feet never touch the floor. The way Grian’s lips never move when he talks.

So maybe the rumors are still true. No one who goes looking for the Watchers ever returns.

At least, not the way they were.

That first meeting with Grian — with the Emissary — has given him a lot to think about. Not to mention the Watchers’ little “gift.” They see him as worthy. Why? Because of Gambit? Because he’s the one Lightbearer in a thousand that doesn’t hesitate to use the Darkness, make it part of his game?

Scar is not a trusting person. The Dark Age taught him better than to trust anyone — whether that be other Lightbearer, Ghosts, the Vanguard, you name it.

He doesn’t trust the Watchers. He wouldn’t trust them even if they hadn’t turned his friend into their personal mouthpiece.

He doesn’t trust them, but he can use them.

If the Watchers want him to keep doing what he’s doing, Scar has no problem with that. If anything, he appreciates the fact that someone sees the value of Gambit, even if that “someone” is actually several mysterious beings of unfathomable power. Gambit can save the Guardians, Scar’s sure of it. And that goes beyond Etho using it to track down the Shadows.

So he’ll keep playing the game, but he won’t trust the Watchers.

---

Scar is in the Tower minding his business when the air in front of him ripples and suddenly he’s no longer alone.

Grian hovers before him, floating a good couple of feet off of the ground. If Scar wasn’t so put off by his friend having been overtaken by eldritch beings, he would make a joke about height compensation.

As it is, it’s all he can do to meet the Emissary’s eyes without shuddering.

Instead, he forces a grin, digging up his charming con man persona. “Hey! How’s my favorite Emissary of the Watchers?”

Grian’s expression is as blank as ever. As blank as it never used to be before the Watchers got ahold of him. “Favorite implies we possess more than one.”

That’s another thing. Scar doesn’t like the way Grian uses “we,” as though the Watchers are literally speaking through him. He shivers slightly. Maybe they are.

He tilts his head. “Don’t you?”

“The Watchers have many agents.”

Well, that wasn’t much of an answer. Scar doesn’t appreciate crypticness. The whole Emissary situation is confusing enough by itself. Some straightforward answers would be nice.

Still, he can hazard a guess as to who the Emissary might be referring to. “Are you talking about Mr. Tentacle Face? I didn’t know you guys had the same job description.”

“The Dredgen has visions.”

Scar flinches. He hadn’t expected such a severe topic change. He isn’t particularly happy about Grian’s refusal to use his name either, but instead of bringing it up again he just presses his mouth into a line.

“You’re right,” he says flatly, “And I’ve gotta say I don’t appreciate them. So if you’re the one giving them to me, we’re going to have problems.”

The visions had been growing more frequent lately and their imagery was… concerning, to say the least. Disturbing. A lot of Darkness. The possibility of a second Collapse as the Black Fleet descended on Sol. 

He could tell the Vanguard. In fact, that’s the logical thing to do. But he isn’t a Guardian nor is he bound to their ways. The extent of his relationship with the Vanguard is them letting him stay in the Tower and run Gambit.

“The visions are important,” says Grian, “You are shown them not as a punishment, but as a sign of what is to come. They are what lies ahead. The outcome of your actions.”

Scar’s eyes widen. Is Grian implying that he’s responsible for the return of the Darkness? For the destruction that will surely rain upon the system when that happens? No, he can’t allow that. He won’t.

“The future’s not set in stone,” he replies, “I can change the outcome.”

“Do you truly believe that?”

A slight growl is torn from Scar’s throat. What makes it worse is the fact that Grian doesn’t sound condescending. Instead, he sounds merely curious, as though he couldn’t believe that Scar would think something like that.

“Yes!” snaps Scar, “I do! I make my own choices.”

His eyes are locked on Grian’s face. He isn’t sure what he’s hoping for. Sympathy? Agreement? Or maybe just a flicker of emotion — of any emotion — to show that Grian even cares.

But Grian’s expression remains unchanging. “Your beliefs are your own.” 

With that, he vanishes.

[geojester]

Schism

Fandom: Hermitcraft/Life Series Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Setting: Destiny AU Info/Genre: Angst, Identity Reveal, Hurt No Comfort, Minor Injuries, Character Study Words: 3.6k

Summary:

Scar dislikes dealing with the Watchers and their enigmatic Emissary. But he puts up with it. Because he remembers when the Emissary was just another Guardian named Grian. And he remembers the day he thought he'd lost him forever.

Read on Ao3

[geojester]

there is an end to everything

A snippet I wrote for the per audacia au about how Grian became the Emissary

The day Grian leaves to find the Watchers is the day he decides to no longer hold back. 

He has been waiting and waiting, living his life in the space between blinks. Looking for any excuse to stay even as he’s drawn towards the cosmos.

Sol has no answers for him. He knows from his endless searching. He knows that to find what he seeks he must verge into uncharted space. Whatever the reach of the Traveler may have been during the Golden Age no longer matters. Its arm has been cut short, many places where humanity once dwelled have since been lost.

It was always inevitable that his search would take him beyond the confines of Sol. Centuries spent chasing stories that all pointed him one way. The Watchers linger beyond the heliopause.

Pure chance was the only thing that kept him around this long.

First, Mumbo’s disappearance. Grian had been unwilling to leave without at least trying to find his friend. Scott, the Vanguard, they had all told him that Mumbo was dead. That he had died honorably in defense of the City. His name commemorated on a plaque alongside other Guardians who’d fallen in the battle.

Grian refused to believe it. Even now, he rejects the thought that Mumbo died in Twilight Gap. But even he was forced to admit after years of searching that it wasn’t looking good.

He had been making up his mind to leave when he’d met Scar.

Grian’s stomach twists at the reminder of betrayal, still so fresh. Of their parting words.

Scar had cost him precious time. Now, as Grian loads his ship for what he’s very aware may be a one-way journey, he banishes the other Lightbearer from his thoughts.

He knows he must leave. He feels it behind his eyes, under his skin. He is incomplete. Unfinished. There’s something out there that he must become.

---

The journey passes.

Grian appreciates the silence. The lack of reminders, of pleas for him to change his mind. After all, what does Sol have to offer him any more?

Sure, he leaves behind acquaintances, friends. But none he’s particularly close to. None that won’t get on without him. None that would be torn in two over his absence like he was when Mumbo vanished.

---

On some of his expeditions, Grian would fly out to the Reef.

He was allowed in exactly once, long ago during the Dark Age when the King’s bodyguard took pity on him. 

The Awoken King is cold and distant. He tells Grian in no uncertain terms that he is never to return. From then on, Grian’s ship is stopped before he even makes it past the first few asteroids.

---

When the King opens the Vestian Outposts to the Guardians, Grian returns again.

This time, he is not turned away.

He tries to describe what is happening. The hallucinations. The whispers that echo in his ears. The way it’s becoming impossible to differentiate between dreams and the waking world.

The King brushes him off. He knows about the Watchers. Nothing Grian says is news to him. He tells Grian his search is futile.

Grian does not see the bodyguard that time.

---

He’s nearing the boundary of the heliosphere when the Light leaves, its connection snapping like a strained thread. Something is wrong.

The severance leaves him reeling, the void within him yawning wider than ever before. He searches desperately for the Light and finds nothing. As if it was never there in the first place.

Grian passes beyond the heliopause.

A chasm gapes through his being. A rift that began when he was revived and has only grown wider since. Everything he is crumbles away at the edges. 

He feels himself splitting in two.

---

W H A T I S D I V I D E D C A N B E R E M A D E

your old life is ended

Grian is not your name.

---

Grian feels himself burn away. He rises from the smoke and ashes of his old life as something more. 

The voices are louder than ever -- pouring into his head, zinging through his nervous system. He can feel the buzz of power behind each one. Even as his mind forms the question, Grian already knows who they are.

W E H A V E B E E N W A T C H I N G

our grasp falls short in this you will be our pawn

Grian can feel them attempting to strip his will, tearing at it with grasping claws. He holds on.

Do not resist.

you will be our judge

O U R E M I S S A R Y

the scale on which we measure the guardians of sol

“Get out of my head,” hisses Grian.

The pressure is unrelenting. The Watchers will not give up without a fight. And Grian has nothing left. His friends are gone. The Light is gone. He refuses to give up his will to them.

A S T A L E M A T E?

you wish for agency this wish we shall grant

Our goals are aligned.

Grian scoffs. “I highly doubt that.”

Yet he feels himself giving in. He is willing to act on their behalf on the condition that he keeps his agency. His will is his own.

T H A T I S A C C E P T A B L E

you retain your agency even as you give us agency our goals are shared

Grian is no more.

---

It’s the last time he hears his name for a long time.