May 31, 2019
Reggie Jackson in 1963. ( Cheltanham High School)
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Reggie Jackson in 1963. ( Cheltanham High School)
I've asked you the same question two times now withing the span of weeks and you haven't replied either time. Guess you really don't want to answer that question. And here I was trying to make conversation and ask about how things in your life are going other than your failed dating attempts that I never end up saying the right things about.
Oh. It wasn't about me. You had a long night helping your students. And apparently you're up now too - granted it's an hour behind. And you miss me and want to talk now but need to sleep. How did you know I needed to hear that. Like I totally don't deserve an explanation and need to learn to not think everything is about me but gosh that was like exactly what I needed right now.
And then when you do respond there's nothing in response to what I said about how I was feeling even though I said I'd been feeling kind of lonely. Thanks. There's not much of anything at all. I don't even know. And that's the second time this week I've mentioned that I was lonely and you didn't say anything about it then either.
Why am I still up. I should be sleeping. Also why haven't you texted me back all day. You asked how I am and I know I didn't reply right away (because I was working) but now you haven't said anything and I'm worried. Did I do something wrong....
Me: *sends you a picture of the snickerdoodle cookies I just made*
PA boy: you OK????
Me: *remembers why snickerdoodles are significant in the Lizzie Bennet Diaries oops although admittedly I was feeling a bit lonely*
Just woke up from a dream and now I'm jealous because of said dream. Good job brain. Way to make a good dream based on my actual feelings. Could you not right now. You're not helping.
When one friend thinks you have depression and the other one says it's just a normal cycle that everyone goes through every once and a while. This is exactly why I don't feel validated saying I have depression and find it hard to be motivated to get help. I don't want to make some huge deal over what I'm feeling if it isn't really anything when there are other people out there who are having a really rough time. I don't know what to do.