#paintted-rambles

[painttedwolfdog]

Reminder that T doesn't make you more violent.

Reminder demonizing masculinity isn't good, for anybody.

Reminder that excluding trans mascs and trans men out of your discussions of trans issues is bad, actually.

Reminder that you shouldn't expect trans men to be "man but better", not bc of their identity as a man, but because of their classification as a human being and a complex being capable of both good and evil.

Reminder that bioessentialism is bad. Always.

[painttedwolfdog]

Transandrophobes will call trans men and transmasculine people TMRA then also in the same breath say we have "AFAB privilege". You know. Like the MRA talking point.

[painttedwolfdog]

I love being Malaysian. I love my country, I love my culture. But god is being trans so so so hard here. Especially as a trans man, obviously not to say trans women/fems don't struggle, of course they do, but Im talkin trans men/mascs uniquely here alr.

Our society is still very misogynistic, which of course means heavy emphasis on feminity, purity, marriage and traditional roles. If you're Malay, like me, meaning you're ethnically muslim, that means marriage is suuuper important. Arranged marriages aren't out of the realm of possibility, and child marriage is rampant. Legally, I could've been married at 16. 16! The legal age for boys is 18. Then don't get me started on child marriages in certain states, which allows for children younger than 16 to be married off to a suitor far older than them LEGALLY. My parents aren't the type to marry me off at 16, thank god, but they joked about it. It grossed me the fuck out.

But Im an adult now, they could find some hot Ustaz to marry me off to, and I'd be raped and impregnated by him and nothing can be done because marital rape isn't actually rape here. Divorce? I doubt they'd let me, they'd tell me to work it out over and over before they'd actually let me leave.

Traditional rape, is still thought of as partially the victim ("womens") fault. It's still the clothes you wear. If you wear "revealing" clothes it's partially your fault. You should've been more stern, should've been more compliant, if you did everything right you wouldn't have been assaulted and impregnated! What? You want to get rid of it? You monster! How could you? It's your baby!

The inkling of me not wanting to get married pissed my mother off, she cited our religion to put fear in me to marry. It hasn't worked on me, I want to get married anyway. Just not as a woman. The idea of me not wanting children pissed her off too, I was required to have them as a god fearing woman of faith. My husband would want kids, and I would give them to him. Blegh.

If I die here, I will be buried with my birth name. If I die here I will die a girl. If I die here I will be mourned as such. If I die of violence here it will be listed in the category of woman, cis woman. No one but those who knew me for me would know that it was wrong. I don't want that.

I wonder how many people like me are out there in this country. I wonder how many of them are happy, living as men, I wonder how many are unhappy. Living as wives to men they maybe love, probably don't, forced to ignore who they really are. I wonder how many of them are dead.

So I will live, I will breathe. Stay a malay Malaysian man, gay as all hell, till the end of my days. I will grow old. I will be the goddamned tranny my mother hated and others will know the name of. I will live

[painttedwolfdog]

If you find trans men/trans masc ppl who don't pass (and either can't or does not want to) annoying when they don't like to be misgendered, you're not really an ally.

[painttedwolfdog]

While Shuro isn't my favourite or even most liked character I think his dynamic with Laios in a ship would be so cute.

He starts warming up to him, eventually noticing the same things he saw in Falin. Which leads into a crush. And since he has no frame of reference about being attracted to a man, he basically has an internal crisis over it.

Since Shuro just generally likes bugs, I like the idea of Laios learning that Shuro loves silently appreciating bugs. Maybe once he realises that Shuro likes that quiet enjoyment, he'll just go get a bug or two for him. He'll just be like "Shuro, you like bugs don't you?" and he just has a caterpillar or centipede in his hands.

Shuro is just smitten right then and there.

[EDIT forgot to add this earlier: Laios is none the wiser till Shuro confesses and Laios needs 1-2 days to process (based on true events) (true events being me)]

[painttedwolfdog]

Idk if this is a common occurrence but like, how do moms just know??? As in like, know you're trans? Like I remember being a kid and being forced to wear a dress and my mom was like "you aren't a boy, you'll never be a boy, you're a girl and you'll grow up to fulfill your duties as a good muslim woman," and I couldn't even feel distraught because huhhhh????

It wasn't even obvious, I was always more masculine leaning but as a kid the little flairs of femininity weren't unwelcome. Like I do not think I was a very obvious "trans kid". So like, how the fuck did she know?? Do moms just fucking know, what???? This was around the time I had discovered I was trans too so I wasn't even fully sure.

[painttedwolfdog]

Forcemasc where it's women being turned into werewolves. You get bit, it festers, one night you find yourself keeling over and that night you tramp around the area, big, hairy and canid. You wake up the next morning, you're hairier now than you were before. Hungrier than you were. And the cycle repeats until well, you can guess.

[painttedwolfdog]

Laishuro fanfic where Shuro/Toshiro joins Laios, Marcille and Chilchuck the first time round to save Falin.

Things I can see happening

Shuro/Toshiro is more or less forced to acknowledge that Laios is genuinely just dense and isn't as "graceful" with how dense he is, unlike how he perceives Falin

Shuro/Toshiro learns that telling Laios his feelings directly is better than bottling it up, Laios starts calling Shuro, Toshiro

Shuro notices how similar Falin and Laios are when he is confronted full force with Laios' monster interest

Marcille and Chilchuck realise that Shuro isn't Toshiro's actual name. Marcille is quick to apologise and be all sappy

Senshi inspires Toshiro to eat more to be healthy enough to save Falin. Welcome well rested and well fed Toshiro.

Toshiro realises during the succubus encounter that he is attracted to both Falin and Laios. [Shinji pose image insert here]

Toshiro hesitates when using black magic to revive Falin and sees how much Laios cares for his sister

His retainers go after him, they meet up later on. Izutsumi also splits off and joins Laios' group before they meet up.

Toshiro is chastised for treating Izutsumi as lesser than. They have a strained relationship, but it's getting better.

Encounter part monster Laios, gay panic

Instead of proposing to Falin, he vows to return, to be clear he needs to think about his gay ass feels

The big fight between Laios and Shuro doesn't happen because the situations that would have created and fueled it no longer exist and is replaced with situations where both Laios and himself better their relationship and views of eachother.