yan!phantom troupe and annoying things they do during sex
enough dick riding it’s time to clown on these hoes
tags: NSFW/MDNI, she/her reader, yandere but some of these could read as non-yan tbh, dubcon, anal, public sex, oral (female receiving), awkward sex lmao
chrollo
now y’all listen…I know we all love to think of chrollo as a sex god, and I like to think of him as being very skilled in bed too, but this man is still human and I’m prepared to roast the shit out of him for it
chrollo is good at sex. he certainly thinks he knows your preferences better than you do, and infuriatingly, he’s got the skill to back it up more often than not. but when he does get it wrong….oh lord he gets it wrong
it’s not even anything particularly egregious. maybe you’re lubed up and dripping wet and he’s just having a little more trouble staying on your clit than usual. typical man behavior but what makes it unbearably awkward is that he doesn’t seem to recognize that he’s struggling.
you two have been going for a while, and fuck he’s worked up, and his fingers just can’t quite find that perfect spot. I see him doing that thing where he’s rubbing your left lip and you try to move his hand to your clit, but he moves it back and says something like “no, you can take it.” sir….wtf do you think I’m taking lmao. he’s so confident in it though that you can hardly find it in yourself to correct him. maybe it’s best if you just let him have this
I think there would also be this constant sense that he wanted something out of you from this, beyond the sex, but he would never voice it outright. he wants a deep, genuine intimacy from you, and he feels like the better he can fuck you the more inclined you’ll be to grow real feelings for him. your life with him can’t be that bad if he makes you feel so good, right? he’s so attentive and considerate in bed, and he could give you all of that everyday if you would just let him
he would almost use it in a pavlovian sense, coaxing you into letting him give you an orgasm whenever you’re irritated with him, so you start to shove down those feelings of animosity in anticipation of his touch. he’s an asshole lmao and when you catch on to what he’s doing, it’s going to taint every future sexual interaction you have with him. he craves genuine intimacy from you but isn’t capable of giving it himself. you can never really appreciate his gestures of affection because they’re all self-serving and manipulative.
pakunoda
reads your mind like she owns the rights to it and I don’t know about y’all but that’s basically my worst nightmare lmao. she’ll ask you what you’re into with a hand on your shoulder and now she knows about all of your embarrassing kinks and fantasies. she will absolutely use it to her advantage in bed as well
I think she could also use this to blur the lines of consent just a bit, in certain circumstances. she’ll run her fingers down your arm, asking you with little subtlety if you’d like to join her on the bed, and you can refuse but if your memories tell her that you were sort of into it the last time she tried, she’ll use it as an excuse to keep pushing you. gently, of course. she would never dream of outright forcing herself on you, she’s just…coaxing. manipulatively. with information about your sexual preferences that you never wanted her to be aware of to begin with
if you’re unaware of her nen ability I think it would be unnerving, the way she’s so in tune with your innermost thoughts and desires. she could use this to her favor, setting herself up as the person who was made for you, a soulmate almost, with the ability to understand you and love you more deeply than anyone else possibly could.
if you do know about her nen ability, it would put you in a near constant state of anxiety. you can’t hide anything from her. you have virtually no privacy. every little touch from her is going to have your mind racing, reading into every question she asks you for possible memories it could dig up that you do NOT want her to know. in this circumstance, I don’t think she would use her ability so often, because she wouldn’t want you to be constantly on edge around her, but the fear would still be there.
feitan
he’s sadistic and an asshole and self-serving and rough. I could write a dissertation on all the ways sex with feitan could potentially suck lmaooo but I’ll try to narrow it down here. I think we’ve all seen plenty of content about his tendencies for sadism in sex, so I’ll try to think a bit out of the box for these
he’s quiet. very quiet. you could be giving this man that power wash 3000 sloppy toppy and the most noise you’ll get out of him is like, some heavy breathing and the occasional grunt. sir how am I supposed to know if I’m doing well or not?? I love writing him as a dirty talker but I feel like unless he was doing it to tease or degrade you he wouldn’t have much to say
I think, especially in a situation where he and darling have been together for a while, he would put real effort into making it feel good for you, too. not only as a display of dominance, proving that he can have his way with your body and pull whatever reactions he wants from you, but also because you look so, so good squirming and making those sweet faces under him
this is where things have the potential to get awkward, because when feitan is putting in genuine effort, there’s the potential for him to fail, and failure is vulnerability. and feitan does not do vulnerability.
I think a prime example of this would be if he were to go down on you. eating someone out is such an intimate gesture. if you’ve ever had someone go down on you but they weren’t quite good enough to get you off, you know how awkward it is to pull them back up to your face and convince them to just try something else lol. this is not something you could do with feitan.
telling feitan that what he’s doing isn’t working for you is almost never a good idea, especially when he’s already putting himself out there by trying to do something nice-ish for you. it would embarrass him a little bit, and it would reinforce the idea he had when he first went yandere for you, that the best way for him to deal with his feelings is by exerting total dominance and ignoring any impulse he has to show you a more affectionate side. you can’t hurt him if he never shows you his soft spots.
so just play into it until he figures out what really gets you going. unless he explicitly tells you to show him what feels good for you, you’re better off faking orgasms and taking care of yourself in the shower later. it’s not all bad; he’ll be in a much better mood and eventually it may even encourage him to try being nicer outside of the bedroom. I hope you’re a good actress lmao
machi
this poor woman is tsundere to the point of self sabotage. obviously she must like you because otherwise she wouldn’t keep you around constantly, but she can NOT tell you that or make any sort of gesture that would make it obvious, at least not in the beginning. it’s just a little intimidating for her. to be honest you might have to be the one to suggest sex, because otherwise it will take her ages to work up the courage to risk being rejected by you
the actual act of sex will have you wondering if you ever should have brought it up to begin with because…she can not relax into it. in a normal relationship I don’t think she would be so intimidated by it, but in a yan relationship she is hyper aware of the disparity in power between you
she doesn’t expect you to ever genuinely return her feelings, even though she desperately wants it, and she’ll be second-guessing everything that happens leading up to and during the act. do you really want her like that? are you just doing it because you think it’s what she wants? I mean, she does, but not at the expense of your full and willing consent. are you doing it to manipulate her? to butter her up to something? she can’t pull herself out of her head long enough to just enjoy it
on the bright side I think this would cause her to develop a preference for eating you out. laying you out on your back and sinking to her knees would keep you from seeing her face, allowing her to almost hide from you. so you can’t look through her. can’t see the conflicting impulses flit through her expressions. it also gives her a perfect view as your hips roll and your lips part in pleasure, so she can take in all of those beautiful sights and sounds with little vulnerability on her end
shalnark
he’s selfish lol. I do think he would enjoy getting you off, but his pleasure is first priority. in the beginning of your sexual relationship he would diligently bring you to orgasm every time you slept together, because he wants you to eventually be the one coming to him for sex. it took so long to talk you into it in the first place, he does not want to undo all of that work by fucking up and not making it enjoyable for you
as you both get used to it though, he would get comfortable with getting himself off and then flopping over and falling asleep if you didn’t manage to come in the time it took him to finish. not that he would do it every time, but still. asshole
I also think he’s one of the kinkier members of the phantom troupe, and if your kinks don’t happen to align with his then tough luck lmaooo he’s getting what he wants one way or another. I think he would enjoy dressing you up in super feminine lingerie. the guy’s a gamer and you can NOT convince me he isn’t at least a little bit into the cat girl aesthetic
If you happen to like the maid dresses and cat ears and collars with the little bells, then boy you two are going to get along well, but if it’s not your thing you aren’t going to have much fun slipping it on anyway and putting on an act for him. if you do it well enough he’ll eat you out though, so there’s some motivation
anal? I think anal. I think he’d at least want to give it a shot. he wants to claim every hole you’ve got to offer at some point. depending on the mood he’s in though, he may not have the patience to stretch you out well enough before sliding his cock in, and taking a dick up your ass while underprepped is not a fun time
he wouldn’t want to make you cry or anything, he still wants you to enjoy sex with him, but he would also expect you to be tough enough to deal with a certain amount of pain until you relaxed enough to enjoy it. he is such a prick
phinks
the man is obnoxiously horny. unbearably horny. his hand is on your ass 24/7. you could just be unloading the dishwasher, standing on your tiptoes putting up plates, and you turn to look over your shoulder and see him staring at the space where your shirt has lifted up and exposed the lines of your hips and the dimples on your back. bricked up in .6 seconds over nothing I stg
in his ideal world you would be just as horny as he is, but the average darling will just not be able to keep up, and so a lot of your sessions will just be him fucking you hard and fast to get himself off without taking up too much of your time. he does want you to come, but he also doesn’t want to rub your clit raw.
I could see him getting into thigh-fucking as a necessity because of this, he’s a strong dude and when you’re too sore from last night to give him anything more in the morning, the man learns to make do
I think he’d have a thing for risky sex. semi-public stuff like asking you to suck him off in an empty parking lot, fingering you under the table in the back of a restaurant just after rush hour. he wouldn’t force you into it if you were uncomfortable, but he would still tease you with it because he thinks it’s funny to get a rise out of you. sliding his hand up your thigh until you swat at him and glare before frantically looking around at the tables next to you to see if they noticed.
unrelated to sex but on the topic of pissing you off for fun, he’d also 100% dutch oven you. pinning you under the blankets and cackling like a bastard while you gag and claw for freedom. I hate him lol
shizuku
I think a lot of sex with her would be very self-serving. it’s not that she doesn’t care if you come, it’s just that she gets so in her head sometimes that she forgets to worry about making you feel good, too. if you want to come consistently with her, you’re going to have to put in the work yourself. she’s just a little bit of a pillow princess
I see her as having a relatively low sex-drive as well, so if she doesn’t get you off it may be a while before you have a chance to try again with her. she would climax every time you slept together though. she isn’t one for the “sex is about the journey not the destination” philosophy lol, she’s in it to get off. now if only she would apply that same line of thinking towards you…
is so direct with her dirty talk it feels almost clinical. maybe it couldn’t really be called dirty talk at all lol. “spread yourself open. how many fingers do you want?” “come over here, I want you to go down on me. actually, just lie on your back. tap me if you need to breathe.”
uvogin
I know it’s fun to read about taking guys with huge 8 inch schlongs and getting absolutely wrecked but y’all…it’s average dick supremacy in this house. you know how tiring it would be spending ages stretching yourself out and working up to take this man’s dick? who’s got the timeee as an occasional thing I get it but dude…on the regular that would get old real fast 😭
and I do think he would want to take the time to stretch you out. he’s another yandere that wants you to genuinely want him, and because of his strength he’s also worried that if he doesn’t take the time to prep you, he could accidentally hurt you. the upside is that with the amount of foreplay you two will be doing, he’s going to get very familiar with your body very fast
another man who’s constantly horny. slapping your ass, pinching your tits, pressing his hips into you from behind and cupping your crotch. maybe that sounds like something you’d be into, but I think it’d get annoying at some point. like sir…you’re just gonna stand there and squeeze my ass while I’m trying to cook us dinner? at least pick up a knife and start chopping this celery ffs
he’s also a little bit condescending about it? he likes the obvious power imbalance between you two. he likes the way you squeak and scramble to catch your balance when he hooks an arm between your legs and hoists you up onto his shoulder with no warning. it’s cute. you’re so helpless. and if you try to tell him off, even better! it’s like watching a kitten flash it’s claws at him, but instead of throwing you some cat treats and scratching behind your ears it just makes all the blood rush to his dick
