for the past few days i’ve been screaming about my oc to anyone who’d listen and then the amazing @coralreefskim drew him and i am crying he is so beautiful damn kim you did such an amazing job i don’t deserve you ((his name is Calin and he is one of the characters from a voltron au me and my friends created))
It’s @coralreefskim birthday today and when I asked her what she wanted me to writer for her she said she didn’t care so I just wrote about our ocs because we’ve been crying about them this past week.
This is part of the Paladin Program Voltron AU me, Kim, @bleusarcelle, @jungjae-art and @waffle-walks created. Calin is my oc and Renee is Kim’s oc. We all have more ideas for this au and I’m so excited about it!!!!
As soon as Calin wakes up, the hold that the nightmare had on his mind disappears, it’s fingertips leaving behind in his room ghosts that fade quickly as the ticks pass by. They leave him gasping for air and his shirt sticking to his sweaty skin.
He doesn’t try to remember what horrors he dreamt about. They’re gone now and they’ll stay like that for as long as he’ll be awake. After all, the dreams are the only places in which he can remember, but they are also the only places that let him feel things.
And that terrifies him.
He’d rather stay awake and feel nothing than be overwhelmed by all the things his mind wouldn’t let him feel when he isn’t tormented by nightmares.
He sits up and takes off his wet shirt, a relieved sigh leaving his lips when the room’s cool air hits his heated skin. But it’s not enough.
Even if he is all alone now, the room is too stuffy and his breath keeps stopping in his throat, making him feel as if he’s suffocating.
Outside in the hallways it’s better but just as quiet. And if there’s quiet it means that his mind is loud as fuck and he doesn’t want that now.
He has no specific destination in mind as he wanders around the castle. Just that it has to be as far away from his room as possible and that it has to distract him in some way.
Luckily for him, the training room meets all his expectations… and even more.
A flicker of surprise passes through him when he sees Renee fighting one of the bots. It’s gone as soon as it came though, leaving behind only an emptiness that he has no desire to fill.
Calin leans on the wall facing Renee, his eyes following all her lithe movements, the familiar annoying tingle in his mind making it hard for him to do anything else. It’s been weeks since he became a part of the team and it’s been weeks since this tingle made it’s appearance.
It only shows when she’s near.
“End training sequence,” he calls out, pushing off the wall and walking towards Renee.
She lets out a surprised yelp when her fighting partner suddenly disappears, stumbling a few steps forward before she catches herself. She blinks a few times in surprise at the empty space in front of her and then she looks up at Calin.
As soon as her eyes meet his, Calin thinks that maybe there’s a spark of something soft in them before she glares at him.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she snarls, crossing her arms over her chest and shifting her weight on a leg.
Calin raises an eyebrow at her before shrugging. “You looked like you needed a partner.”
She searches his face for a couple moments as he simply looks back at her. Suddenly her eyes snap to his and instead of annoyed she looks angry. It’s something he got used to seeing everyday, the way her eyes would get darker and darker until they become almost black. Her cheeks flush and a glare appears on her face.
He sometimes wonder what he did to deserve this kind of attitude but then he thinks briefly of where he came from – where she saved him from- and lets that thought go. He still can’t remember what he did and he doesn’t care enough to try to do something about it, but this girl makes him wish that his memory wasn’t this fucked up.
And that fuels a fire deep inside him that begs to be let out.
He’s finally going to let out that fire tonight.
“Well,” she almost spits looking like she was trying very hard to calm down. “I already had a partner if you didn’t notice.”
“Oh, I did notice, don’t worry.” He lets his arms fall by his side and that makes Renee’s eyes fall down to his chest. She soon looks back up at him, clearly unimpressed despite her cheeks flushing deeper. “I just thought that maybe you wanted to fight with someone more… unpredictable and impulsive.”
Calin sees the corners of her mouth twitch a little but she’s stubborn as fuck and the frown is still on her pretty face.
Pretty, he wonders in his mind deciding that the word fits her.
“I wouldn’t use those words to describe you, though,” she scoffs, her eyes looking Calin up and down.
“Never said I was talking about me.”
Renee meets his eyes again and narrows them only a little bit.
“But if you wanna spar with me so bad, I guess I have to sacrifice myself.”
“You? Sacrifice yourself?” she laughs this time shaking her head and she shifts until she’s ready for hand to hand combat. “Do you even know what that implies?”
Calin doesn’t answer her and he thinks she isn’t waiting for an answer anyway. Instead, he takes his position too and the training room is drowned in silence suddenly. Calin wonders if this is what Lance means when he uses the expression the calm before the storm. As if you can feel something’s going to happen, something big but you’re not sure when it’ll start and for how long it’ll last.
Knowing the two of them it’ll probably end in an explosion.
“What are you waiting for, pretty boy?” she challenges, a smirk appearing on her face but her eyes are just as hard as before.
He doesn’t look at them though because her eyes usually make the annoying tingle in his mind grow to be insupportable.
“Ladies first,” he dismisses her provocation and her eyes darken slightly once again.
“My, my! What a gentlemen the druid life made you, Cal,” she laughed mockingly and before Calin could even comprehend her words, she charges towards him. He’s quick enough to block her feet at his sides but she’s quicker when she suddenly switches feet and her other one catches him in the back. It’s not strong enough to hurt him because she didn’t have time to put strength into the hit before she switched, it was enough though to move him a bit.
He tries to catch her foot but damn it she’s as fast as a mouse and soon she’s once again away from his side.
He looks up at her smug smile.
“Thank you for your offer. It would’ve been rude for me to not take it.”
Calin feels his fingers twitch with the magic that implores to explode but he closes his fist and takes a long breath in through his nose. He wills the electricity from his fingers to go away and he doesn’t move until he’s sure that there’s nothing left behind. He doesn’t need this now. Or ever.
Renee’s eyes don’t leave him and that kind of helps him calm down for some reason. He doesn’t think too hard about what this means. He doesn’t want to know what it means.
He’s the first one to move this time but Renee is already expecting that and he blocks his hits easily. Too easily.
She fights back and it feels satisfying when Calin sees her frustration everytime he blocks her strikes. But for every blow he stops, other two get past his defense. He knows that Renee is more skilled than him but his pride right now doesn’t let him acknowledge that. He’s stubborn and keeps fighting back until he can’t anymore.
Renee looks like she barely did anything. Her blocks are quick and just while her hits are swift and hard. The fact that she can take care of herself puts him at ease somehow but he ignores those thoughts because he is too prideful to let her know that she can kick his ass.
It feels like they fight for forever and Calin is getting weaker and weaker. His lungs and throat are burning and he can feel his heartbeats in his temples while his brain feels like it’s gonna explode any second now. He gave her the best he could and he’s ready to give her more.
That is until he trips on his own feet and falls on his back with a groan. He doesn’t even try to get up, too tired to care about proving a point to Renee. So he stays there, looking at the training room’s ceiling and trying to get as much as in his lungs as he can, the only thing that fills the silence of the room is his breathing and his heartbeats in his ears.
And then Renee laughs. She laughs and laughs and Calin closes his eyes trying to listen to it over the beats of his heart. Her laugh is like a deja-vu. He’s sure he heard it somewhere but it feels almost impossible. Everytime he hears her laugh it seems like the first time and like a memory at the same time.
“Guess you really are unpredictable and impulsive,” she jokes and walks towards him. Calin expects her to help him stand up but instead she lies down beside him, hers hands over her stomach while she looks up at the ceiling with a satisfied smile. He notices now the sweat on her forehead and her quick breaths but nothing else shows that they’ve been sparring until now.
He doesn’t notice that he’s still watching her until she turns to face him and he realizes that her eyes are no longer as dark as they used to be. The are clearer now and for the first time he finds out what color her eyes really are. Teal.
“Can I tell you something, Calin?” she whispers in the short distance between their bodies. She looks tired and Calin knows that whatever she’ll say now it’s because of the sleepless nights she probably had until now.
He doesn’t move or blink, he doesn’t even dare to breathe because he knows that he’d do something (because there’s always something that makes her mad at him) and her eyes would darken again. So he waits for her to talk again.
She searched his face, probably looking for that something but Calin’s face is an impassive mask. Nothings is shown and he’s worked hard for it to be like this. It’s not gonna change just because Renee acts nice around him.
Renee frowns before she sighs, not satisfied with his reaction. She looks away from him then, facing the ceiling again and looking thoughtful at it.
“What are you afraid of?” she asks instead, sounding like she isn’t expecting an answer from him but it makes Calin think.
I’m afraid of my past.
I’m afraid of remembering.
I’m afraid of my dreams.
I’m afraid of feeling.
“You,” he answers truthfully as if his answer has always been on the tip of his tongue. She turns her head to meet his eyes. “I’m afraid of you.”
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE! I hope you’ll get all the happiness you deserve and all the love in the world!!!! You are such a talented person and I’m so lucky that you’re still talking to me despite me being the biggest loser you’ll ever meet. I hope you’ll have a great year and that you’ll know everyday how loved and appreciated you are.
((I love u so much but pls stop with the memes they are killing me))
