Panic Attack
It often comes as a vague sound on my ears, like the hooting of night owls, or the insistent cries of crickets, followed by the sudden drumming of my heart, and a bitter taste in my mouth. I’ll start sweating bullets, while my skin turns cold and clammy. My hands will begin to tremble, and my vision assumes a tunnel focus. Breathing will be shallow, and my gait becomes unsteady. I will have the intense desire to flee, to run, to escape, to jump, whatever it takes not to feel cornered or trapped. and then, just as suddenly as it came, the fog lifts, the sky opens up to reveal colors and light, and everything goes back to normal, except, it never really does go back to normal afterwards. To a person with panic attack syndrome, the fear of fear is an endless cycle that has no end.
Panic attack.
Sometimes, days, weeks, or months go by without it, but it will always come back as suddenly as it always does, like a thief in the night, without remorse, and without preamble. It attacks in full force, in full intensity, without warning. and the cracks it creates in a person’s sense of self marks the aftermath of a war won, for now.