If you feel comfortable, could you please write Phil Anselmo NSFW alphabet? Pleaseeeee
A/n: I know I know kinktober an all that but be happy I came up with anything I haven’t felt like writing at all so we’re working with what we got 😔
Warnings: Smut, it’s NSFW alphabet you should know what you’re getting into, the worst of it is size kink, mentions of putting a cigarette out on you, if you think I missed anything just let me know otherwise enjoy!
A = Aftercare
Definitely wants to give aftercare, he likes being rough but you’re too good to him to not love properly. Now, whether he’s awake (and sober) enough is a different story.
Always tries, no matter his state, but if he’s fucked up it’s probably just cuddles and kisses until he passes out. If he’s well enough it’s pretty good, a bath if he can (tours and such get in the way), if not a shower will do. He holds you the whole way, arms wrapped around you and holding you to his chest, peppering kisses all over you. Unless it’s night he usually gets you snacks and situated in front of a TV so you can cuddle until you fall asleep, if he has to get to the studio he leaves while you’re sleeping (will not leave until then, you need him, obviously) and comes back with your favourite food so you don’t have to cook.
Older Phil, completely different.
He has always tried and always wanted to give the best aftercare, because you deserve it, HOWEVER, has not always been able to give it.
Now, again, unless there’s a tour in the way, he’s giving you a bath and cuddles and kisses, alone time if you need a minute. Always has a proper meal ready, even if it’s something quick, he usually makes a smoothie to get you going again (big fan of morning sex, but we’ll get to that). Constantly praising you, he does ask for a lot of reassurance though. He’s old, he needs to make sure it’s still good, and it totally has nothing to do with his ego that, uh, that’s hilarious, why would you even-? He’s good. Tell him tell him he’s good.
(After rereading this I see that both younger and older have pretty much the same vibe but like you get what I mean when I say that older Phil definitely goes all out right? Also, like, younger Phil was not doing that every time, that was once in a million.)
B = Body Part
I think we all know what his favourite part of himself is… that thing is huge.
Also his arms, older Phil I can not stop talking about it, it’s bigger than Slash, ok? I didn’t know you could do that, like, Slash is by no means massive, but GODDAMN HE AIN’T SMALL, and then Phil? If Slash is gonna choke me with it, Phil is gonna pop my fucking head off and finger paint with my brains (Yes this is definitely HIS favourite part… not mine… definitely.)
On you, love handles. Grab it, tap it, lick it and smack it. Please laugh, I can't breathe.
C = Cum
He has definitely played with his cum, has likely cum on someone's stomach or back, ass, whatever, just so he can draw penis smiley faces in it.
Will cum wherever is more convenient, unless you have a specific place you’d like it, not against condoms especially since they make clean up easier but he rarely goes out of his way to get them and gets mad that he has to change them every time he cums.
Breeding, though… Does he actively want kids? No, he doesn’t hate them just not something he’s ever needed, he does like filling you with his cum though, his goal is to fill every hole and take a picture of it oozing out of you. Has not done it yet, but wants to, for funzies.
D = Dirty Secret
I don’t think he has any, he’s probably pretty open, he’d rather be with someone who knows him than someone who he hides things from, it’s just annoying that way.
PEG HIM, who said that? 👀
E = Experience
Need I say anything?
He’s the lead singer of a big metal band, a good looking one, a big one, he’s been around a few blocks.
F = Favourite Position
Mating press (???)
He likes being on top and folding you in half, just the abuse of his strength to make you scream his name. He’s not trying to hurt you, never his goal to seriously injure you (spanking, putting his cigarettes out on you, so long as you’re into it it’s fine, but, like, dislocating something? No no.)
G = Goofy or Serious
Goofy almost all the time, he’s there for a good time if you’re not having fun, what’s even the point?
Can definitely be serious, of course, but could not take himself seriously. Not like laughing and giggling through the whole thing, but he’s smiling.
Older Phil gets a little more serious, all to focus on making you feel good.
H = Hair
His head is the only thing he regularly shaves, other than when he was younger and had it long (and let’s not forget about the big beard), but he’s never been keen on taking care of any other body hair.
His body’s fairly clean but I think that’s just the way he is, yk, I can’t picture him waxing his chest ngl.
Definitely keeps a big bush, triangle of bush, if you will. Three points, all monsters.
As for his partners, I don’t think he cares, if he’s not gonna care why should you?
Doesn’t like when he finds it in his mouth.
Not sexual but has definitely made you clean the drain, usually does it himself but especially if you have blond(e) and/or curly hair… no serious arguments, but he has yelled trying to unclog the pipes.
I = Intimacy
As he got older his sex drive kinda wore down, any time you ask he’s ready. After shows he’s really horny, but also really tired, so you do most of the work.
Younger Phil, though… You better have been prepared going into it.
Like meals, he needs it at least three times a day, and he especially likes focusing on you which means you are WORN.
J = Jack Off
He’s not stupid, he knows you need a break from time to time, especially younger Phil. Older Phil doesn’t need it as much, he’s usually with you so he asks, but it’s not, like, a needed thing anymore, not like he’s getting regular morning wood.
Back to young Phil, will ask you to help him out as much as physically possible, but he is also happy to just stare at you and get himself off.
Tiny little baby Phil in his glam era- don’t even get me started.
Trying to get work done? “Oh, please, please, I’ll be quick, just come to the bathroom, please? It’ll be fun, I’ll get you off first, I promise… please?” Constantly, it does not stop, he gets a chance to get away from his hand? He’s taking it. You finally give in and let him get off to you? Picture it: You work a desk job, he is under said desk, always gets you to wear skirts for the sole purpose of staring at your pussy while you work. He just sits there whimpering and whining, begging for you to touch him.
Generally speaking, he doesn’t jack off a whole lot, because he has you, but he will because it feels good to cum.
Side note; has definitely jacked off with his friends. I strongly believe he will watch porn with anyone and get off with them, you can not change my mind.
K = Kink
Size kink, no explanation needed.
L = Location
Anywhere, anytime, young Phil would fuck you on stage the only thing stopping him would be your discomfort, but he would, has dreamt of it. Older Phil wouldn’t do that, he has too big of a following, well aware of the younger viewers now. Nowhere public, but if you’re hidden enough it’s well within bounds (a car, public bathroom, backstage, etc.)
M = Motivation
Nothing in particular, just that he gets horny, especially when he was younger it was just constant, why not?
N = No
Like I said, so long as it’s consensual he’s pretty much open to anything, but he doesn’t want to actually hurt you. Young Phil would put his cigarette out on you, older Phil would put it out on your clothes, but he’s not, like, twisting your arm behind your back, he’s not putting you in positions that would hurt. He wants you comfortable when his dick lobotimizes you, and then he gives you a nice warm bath to relax your muscles.
O = Oral
LOVES giving, man, woman, doesn’t matter, he loves it (some say this is why he was so close with Rob Halford but I’ll let you decide that.)
Absolutely adores eating you out, eats you like it’s his first and last meal, until you are a complete and utter mess, he will ruin you on his tongue, maybe fingers, specifically if he’s prepping you to take him.
Definitely enjoys receiving, but with a dick his size I can’t think he’d expect anyone to actually do it. Maybe groupies if he was high enough, but that’s worse than a choking hazard it’s a literal feeding tube. In other words, would rather give than receive.
P = Pace
Hard and fast, he’s in it to make you feel good, make himself feel good, and break your legs.
Q = Quickie
Doesn’t like them anymore as he’s older, if he’s gonna fuck you it’s gonna be good. If you need one, though, he will definitely oblige, just won’t focus on himself and make sure you get off.
Used to love them, all hours were open for quickies, he sneaks you into rehearsal, practice, studio time, anything because he knows he’s gonna get horny and he’s gonna want you. Big fan of quickies. Even as he gets older, it’s nothing against quickies, the thrill of getting you off as fast as he can and making it good? He would just prefer to have more time with you, no qualms with bending you over any time, though.
R = Risk
He is up for anything you are, likes to see how much you can take and will test your limits at first but a hard stop once he’s found them.
S = Stamina
Like I said, he gets tired after shows and lets you do the work then, but otherwise he’s not stopping until he’s satisfied with how ruined you are. You are NOT walking, he WILL go until you are BROKEN, unless you say otherwise he can, and will, go until he physically can’t anymore.
Young Phil can cum at least three or four times before getting worn out, record could be in the double digits. Older Phil won’t last quite as long, because he doesn’t want to and knows that at some point your body will simply give out, once or twice is good for him (unless it’s a punishment thing, in which case you will be getting stuffed like a turkey, same goes for after hanging around friends and families kids -does he want kids? Eh, does he want to fuck you for kids? Definitely, offspring is optional, breeding is fun.)
T = Toys
He just wants to see what he can do to you, this does not change with age, I firmly believe that he will see how many toys you can fit without exploding.
(No idea where this came from but he likes size queens, so, stick with me)
Has a collection of toys, loves watching you use them even if he’s not there (PLEASE send him pictures, call him while you’re at it, text him on stage so he can brag). Clear dildo’s, he likes fucking his cum deep in you and the pushing one in so he can see it.
U = Unfair
Does he hate you? No, absolutely not, the furthest thing from it. Do you hate him? At times, he is the devil's spawn.
He likes getting you worked up when he knows you can’t do anything about it, just to see you get bossy and demanding with him.
Likes edging you and seeing how hard he can make you cum. “Oh, was that it? One time and you’re out? Aw, sweet girl, I thought you were stronger than that.”
Older Phil is much the same, only he likes to make you do the work so he can watch you lose yourself and struggle to take him. “Come on, you can do better than that, you wanna cum, don’t you? Gotta at least make me cum… I’ll tell you what, if you can make me cum, I’ll help you out.” And then he holds your hips in place so you can’t even move.
V = Volume
Can be loud when he wants, grunts and groans, doesn’t usually ask for oral but he is especially loud. He knows it can be hard with his length and added girth, so seeing you take him, even if it’s not all of him, very proud.
If he’s on something he gets louder just because he’s more out of it, gets looser. Sober he’s quieter, growls in your ear from time to time. Older Phil finds it really annoying when he’s louder, would rather just hear you.
Talks a lot, though, like, A LOT.
Telling you what to do, talking you through it, degradation, praise, dirty talk, every point and every angle he is getting at.
Loves when you’re vocal, it means he’s doing a good job, and he will call you out if you try faking any sounds. Not just moans, he loves hearing you try to talk while taking him, has definitely made you answer the phone to hear you try and sound normal. Has asked Dime (anyone but I think of Dime first) to call at a certain time just so he can make you answer and talk to him, he’s never told Dime outright just tells him to call, Dime has successfully figured it out every single time and likes teasing you over the phone --Phil knows, because you tell him and then Dime brags, and he does not care. He’s fucking you, he’s making you feel good, who cares of Dime’s embarrassing you, who cares if he’s even getting off to you. You are getting off to Phil, he’s the one making you sound like this.
W = Wildcard
Likes when you ignore him, gives him a reason to work harder. Also, like I said with the whining under your desk, he just gets off to being pervy towards you --innocent little lamb and he just admires from a far.
Also like to fuck you outside on his little farm, calls it ‘the circle of life’ and that ‘all the animals do it, so should we.’
X = X-Ray
I’ve been told that Rex said in his book that Phil is (at least, AT LEAST) fourteen inches.
Sebastian Bach has also told stories of him being MASSIVE.
The pictures? We’re not forgetting the pictures of him grabbing himself, that thing is a fucking monster. And the videos? Him jumping in his boxers? It’s flying around, call it Lynerd Skynerd the way it’s a fucking Free Bird.
I’m actually very upset at how long it took me to find these pictures I see so many every day and I struggled🙄
Y = Yearning
Not much of a yearning in his younger years, sex is sex, good sex is better and he gives good sex.
As he gets older he does get clingier, especially if he’s older than you by a lot. He’s gotta make sure he’s staying up to your standards. Is he going to do anything to stay up to your standards? No, love him as he is or get out, but he’s gotta know he is up to your standards.
Back to the watching you thing, he does just love watching you, not super stalkerish though it sometimes comes off that way with the way he stares at you (no smile, dangerous look in his eyes, jaw clenched), if you’re doing something he finds especially arousing it gets a little more predatory, but it’s mundane things like cooking or cleaning, you can’t change in the same room at him because he will be on you.
Z = Zzz
Phil actually doesn’t sleep, he is the bat Ozzy bit the head off of, if you look closely you can almost see the resemblance.
Young Phil definitely had a hard time sleeping from the drugs and stuff, just didn’t need to.
Now, he still has a hard time sleeping, but it’s not drug induced or causing serious health problems, he’s not staying up for days at a time he just sleeps late. You make sure he gets naps during the day, even though he says that’s why he sleeps so late, you worry he’s not getting enough sleep (he agrees so long as you lay with him on the couch, more often than not you crash before him so he doesn’t mind letting you use your excuses to get some extra shut eye).
After sex, yk, the real question and not my tangent, young Phil, as I’ve stated, can go for-fucking-ever, especially with his hobbies, he just won’t sleep.
Older Phil can crash pretty quickly after, but he likes to stay awake with you, make sure you’re ok. Usually doesn’t fall asleep before you unless it’s after a show or you have problems sleeping yourself, in which case he does take you to a sleep clinic, he has the money to spare and wants you to be happy, healthy, and sleeping because you look cute like that, but he’ll never admit that’s the real reason.
(I giggled at this, Phil is very big on tough love and he does yell, but the things he says can not be taken seriously no matter how serious he is. Picture him, like, standing over you in bed, red in the face, “Put your fucking head down, it’s damn past bedtime! Stop laughing, give me the fucking blanket!” Aggressively tucks you in. “There, you happy?! You’re sleeping alone in that big fucking bed, you big fucking princess, close your damn eyes! You need your bottle? You fucking toenail, I’ll get you your warm glass of milk, a pacifier too? You want the goat?! Grandma?!”)
