#paperlessprinter

[bipolarinboston]

I need to be better at journaling. I do have a habit of writing down a quick summary after therapy. I don't have access to notes for group. And Alice my individual will upload something that's distant sounding because it's for insurance purposes.

So why aren't I using this space like I intended? Twitter is circulating the drain, mastodon is a void across servers. I sit on paitentslikeme as much as I want to ghost them because of 1 person I follow. I don't want to be the text friend they unload on, because it's too much. I can only handle so much and I can never reciprocate. So it's best if I follow their journal on there and just reply react as I can.

[bipolarinboston]

Weird night out with my friends. There were 10 of us at a restaurant for a birthday and everyone besides me it seemed ordered alcohol so the bill was very large. We tried to itemize it. The person organizing it got frustrated by our lack of participation and threw the receipt (which was attached to a heavy postcard?) In the general direction of someone else.

I am sitting at the far end so I didn't see/hear everything but the second person was upset that the receipt was thrown *at* them. They ended up leaving as soon as the check was finally reconciled with their new partner. They said they were upset but they have been known to use that same tone to joke so no one really knew (or could bother to tell) either way before they flounced.

But I know this person is bipolar and has very little treatment access. So I was turning it in my head like would that fact affect anything that happened? I did't say anything to my friends. As far as I know this person is not out as bipolar, and I only know because I told folks I am bipolar and the two of us dmed on discord for a little bit.

[bipolarinboston]

I'm having a hard time and it feels like it should be such a small thing.

I had covid a month ago and I stopped running. A few weeks before that I lost easy access to the nature center. I haven't started running yet because my heart rate seems to shoot up higher and faster with less effort.

It's like I could handle not having the nature center if I could still run. Or I could handle not running if I could keep walking into to nature center like I used to. But I can't handle both at the same time. Frustrating. Also worried about that heart rate. Guess all I can do is wait it out, I just know if I raise it with my doctor's office I'll just get dismissed. 😐