#papi di4bl0

[cir-papi-di4bl0]

So, today marks My 5th day since beginning T. I can’t begin to describe how much more happy I feel already. I’ve been feeling a bit stronger in terms of mobility, thus far, and yeah… it’s exciting! ☺️

The bro gel is definitely doing something for Me right now, in the best way possible. I’m looking forward to seeing what this looks like after 30 days actively on it. And I’ll definitely keep updating here, because I’m not posting anywhere else about it.

Love y’all! 💞

[cir-papi-di4bl0]

Tarot Biddies meets Cir Di4bL0... (Oh Boi!)

It's so funny spending time in space with other Tarot readers, these days. I went to a Tarot group, who was mainly AFABs, and many of the older (50+). I've had it on my Meetup list for the longest time (5+ years), and today was the first time I actually went. The group was nice enough, but out of 9 people, me and one other person were the only ones that had pronouns listed. It was intimidating, initially, to be in that space. I ultimately knew I was about to be mis-gendered/misidentified, and was just breathing into the Universe not to encounter any TERFyness. I did not feel like BEing that Niiji today, okay?! 🙄 I knew I was qualified as a reader to do the thing, and have been doing it since 11 years old. It's just really hard to sit in that confidence when everything around you seems to question your sum total existence. As an American Indian, Intersex/TransMasculine/Enby Pagan, Otherkin, and general outlier in many communities, finding affirming, quality community experiences is hard AF. Welp, all that said, I made it through, though one of them was pretty TERFy-smelling in their response to my pronouns. I'm glad that the Universe continues to steer Me in the direction of soul-filling and not soul-depletion. GoddeXX knows I've had enough of that shyt, and I need experiences that reFill Me. Fortunately, I'm told there's no shortage of those on the way. The readings for me were all fabulously relevant, and very on point. Some favorable things were forecasted, most of all FUN, which is great!! I need all dat. And one reader even pulled out "The Devil". The chuckle that came from that was priceless. LMAO! I may return next month, so long as they understand, fuck what you thought it was... "It's They, Bxtch!" 🤣

[cir-papi-di4bl0]

For what it's worth:

As a Gothy person, it's not that I lack the ability to be "happy" per se. It's more the idea that I have made peace with, and hold space for, the darker aspects of existence. That is all. 😁

Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming/scrolling.