@papiercollant replied to your text post
yeah i'm gay and this happens to my fiancee and i alllll the time. definitely feels like a thing.
that sucks, and yeah, i think it’s the same thing. whatever mental calculus goes into a waitperson (or whoever) deciding whether the pair of people in front of them is a couple or not, they’re bringing their own baggage of expectations to it. same-sex and/or interracial couples are probably going to be misread more than other pairings.
that being said, it doesn’t happen all that often to me and gabby (white husband and black wife). i mentioned it yesterday precisely because it seemed so out of the ordinary for us -- not the first time we got asked if we wanted separate checks, but the first time in a long while.
(i also still think that the natural assumption for a waitperson would be to assume any party of two is sharing a check, but then, i’ve never worked in a restaurant setting, so what do i know.)