Back into gear
@adveunjoo
Where are you?
The question had been more prevalent than ever in the past day and a half compared with Chanyeol’s whole life. It wasn’t often that the spiritual link between him and his Almighty was broken, but whenever it was it always left the young male feeling like he was missing a piece of himself. As if he if wasn’t worth anything in those moments. It didn’t make a round of sense and he was never the type to question and expect answers from someone he knew he shouldn’t.
He had tried dancing. Attempted to bridge the gap between them again, but to no avail. Just what is going on? he heard himself mutter over and over again inside his head. Was his faith not strong enough? Was his temptation wavering? All simple questions but none with clear cut answers. Chanyeol had dedicated his life to worshipping his creator and on days like this it seemed to all come tumbling down at once.
It was all so tiresome, worrying about something that was out of his control. He knew in a couple of days he would feel his Almighty’s presence again and all would be well, but it wasn’t that day yet. So feeling sorry for himself seemed like the way to go for the time being.
Spending his time wandering around the city didn’t seem to do much for his psyche, if anything it made it worse. It gave him time to ponder the questions he always asked himself. Hoping for that special moment where an answer would fly at him with incredible ease. But the moment never presented itself.
‘’Come on, Chan..’’ he spoke softly to himself, seating himself on a nearby bench. It was his attempt at pumping himself up, something he wasn’t particularly good at to begin with. At least the park he had ended up in was empty and he was able to worry on his lonesome. In a city so full and bursting with life, is was odd that someone could feel so alone. So vulnerable.
‘’Please just give me a sign that I’m an idiot. I can stop moping then, please.’’