caged.
@idjaewon, kokobop music show performance ( schedule prompt )
they’re backstage at the showtime. they’re halfway through getting styled, but most of them are still bleary-eyed. it’s too early, and they’re not set to perform last. but they all still need to be there, ready to perform. even if they’re all just shuffling their way through a dance and mostly lipsyncing. the showtime’s always been happy enough to play along with that particular request from midas. at this point, what does it matter to san? it’s less work for him. he’s tired. and he’s not labelled a vocalist either. he hardly has any lines despite the fact that he’s just finished up with solo promotions.
his hair’s styled, bangs fluffed out. the purple’s been touched up since the music video recording. there’s makeup swept around his eyes. highlighter lining his cheeks, so that he’ll glow in the light. they paint them all up, it’s part of the game. everyone wears makeup. but not everyone has purple hair. something that jaewon seems to be continuously pleased to bring up at practices lately. if only because he know it annoys him. but dealing with jaewon’s hard. it’s always been hard.
for a brief, fleeting chunk of time san figured he grew up. moved on. was content to let their sub-par relationship dissolve into nothing. but they’re right back to where they were before. that same place that makes san feel like he’s stuck, stifled. an anger that builds, envelopes him. he ignores jaewon when he’s finished with styling and drops down next to him on the couch tucked away into the corner of the room. continues to scroll through his phone, keeps his eyes pointedly away from his group mate. they’ve never been close. san’s never wanted to be close.
the only memories he has of jaewon are miserable ones.
“what?” san finally grits out when he feels the weight of jaewon’s eyes on him for too long. until his skin starts to prickle in discomfort. there’s this way jaewon has about him, of making san feel off. san has never really been soft, but he’d been in a bad position in olympus from the start of things. and it was something jaewon took advantage of. but over the years san’s patience has whittled away. has left him raw. left him loathing.