#parekoi

[owefdobolyu]

He loves me! 🥰😘🐕🐶 #dogislove #parekoi #dogkisses #Sundate #brosandpups https://www.instagram.com/p/BzmYwIenWZUGZ37daSPdvvBCTpCiBhKa0eGeok0/?igshid=1n19uk6pqz59v

[jollyjasmin-blog]

Tequila sunrise + sex on the beach + redhorse + pulutan + kring + shiela mae + jasmin = happiness :)) #chillin #parekoi

[tammyaguilar-blog-blog]

Here we go again

Really. (I think I've grown so much to love this word.)

The reasons are inexplicable and my intentions are incredulous (I would like to say they were). If anybody ever attempts to drill into my gray matter right now, I won't find it absurd if they find me absurd. Probably because I've become accustomed to looking at both side of the page and thus, consider all the possibilities which makes me look even far beyond the future. Hence, I am becoming what I term as an "over-diviner". I jauntly embraced the idea that thinking needs no ticket ride and hence let the journey lead to me to a whole lot of extreme rapture. Thought it was fun. But when sensibility splurges algid water on your dumbfounded, precious face, you sure as hell need to scream your guts out. No, just kidding. Well, you just have to help yourself and find your way out of the dungeon of "what if's" and "maybe not's" so as to declutter yourself of all those whatnots.

So, after gazillions of milliseconds living flat below sound judgment, I then close this hilarity with a quavering voice but a strident arbitration that (1) assumptions, no matter how subtle or grand, are formidable, forms the foundation of other life-shaking assumptions, and rues the most if proven untrue; (2) however hard you pray for it if you never set your foot on your decision, albeit two-sided it is, you will never advance to wherever you want to go; (3) you must not, I repeat, MUST NOT use your faultless, unsullied Facebook account to scheme detective motives (if you know what I mean), no matter how innocuous or privy you think it is; (4) there is a divine reason why you've come to such state but you must not immerse yourself too well in it; and (5) the right person will come at the right time so that it will become the right thing.

What must I do now? Truth be told, I'm clueless about that. I cannot even swear that I'll visit my Facebook page less than 10 minutes every day. I am just extremely relieved, in advance, since going to the province after Christmas is surely the key to breaking that. On top of all the fancy cherry knots, I'm glad that I was able to bear out what my mind has been speaking to me: write, rethink, forget (much much much emphasis on forget).

It was never a big thing. (Oh Jesus, it was one-sided, how come it will be big?) It will never be a big thing. It can never be a big thing. Sounding pessimistic, I know, but it's the only way for a hopeless-romantic, masochistic person like I am cop out of it. And if it becomes... naaah, HIGHLY IMPROBABLE. Just leave the distraction work to F. Scott Fitzgerald's homonguous vocabulary, it would do you better.

***

P.S.

And so, I've been talking to myself a lot. Must be going crazy. But not because of you. It's because I'm that especially weird and awesome. Ooh yeah, that's the spirit. Dream on!