Parents Must Supervise and Monitor Kids On-Line
The Huffington Post ran an article on April 8, 2014 under the headline Utah Mom’s Facebook Check May Have Saved Son From Shooting Plot. The article is what prompted me to write this so word could get out about how parents must take an active part in supervising and monitoring their kids whenever they go on-line. I have always known that it’s important for parents to supervise their kids each time they use the Internet, and many parents know this too. However, there are still many parents who feel that supervising and monitoring their kids is an invasion of privacy and also a waste of time. Once you read the Huffington Post article, you will see that supervision and monitoring your kids is not a waste of time and it can, in fact, save them from a dangerous situation.
Because one mom in Salt Lake City, Utah wasn’t afraid to monitor her son’s Facebook, she saved his life, and most likely the lives of others. If she didn’t take the time to monitor his Facebook, how many parents would have been notified of a tragedy at the high school? This mom saw threats made against her son and immediately called the police. The police were then able to take two teens into custody. These two teens were sitting in a car near the high school with a gun and a loaded magazine, ready to strike. Because they were stopped before their plan could really start, lives were saved.
A lot of parents and most kids feel that monitoring and/or supervising social media should not be done. They feel that it’s a matter of trust and to check social media would violate that trust. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other social media companies feel that a child could have an account as long as they are 13 years of age or older. There are some parents who cave in to pressure from their kids who tell them “everyone else has one”, so they create an account by lying about the child’s year of birth. There are other parents who don’t feel that their kids are mature enough to use social media responsibly, so they won’t allow it at all. Then, there are the parents who allow their child to have social media, but they take it away if they happen to notice a post or picture that is inappropriate. If a child isn’t allowed social media, or has an account that was taken away, they will generally search answer sites and ask total strangers how they can get an account without their parents finding out about it. Here is an actual question that was recently posted to Yahoo Answers:
I want my Facebook account back?
Ok so I am 14 and my dad has confiscated my Facebook account because of a past incident and I have understood my mistake but he won't give me my password. I really want to add kids from my school.
Update 1: No need for anymore answer because i am making a new one and i doubt my dad would find that out unless i tell him that i would not tell so soon.
This 14 year old chose this answer as the Best Answer:
I see your update, but have to answer.
This is not a very smart idea. As a 14 year old, I know you think parents are stupid, but they aren't. Your dad will find out about the other account and then you will not only lose Facebook, but you will lose other privileges as well. You will no longer be trusted.
You don't say how long your dad has been holding your FB hostage, but you need to give him some time while you show him you can be responsible. He didn't delete your account, so he is going to give it back, you're just "grounded" from FB for a while. Sneaking around isn't helping your case. In fact, it's hurting it.
You need to have an open discussion with your dad and show him that you realize your mistake. You could also go over the linked article and check out the guidelines. Discuss them with your dad and see what the two of you can come up with as a compromise so he will allow you to access your account again.
But, if this just happened, you could wait a while before adding people. It seems that you really learned nothing from all this.
By choosing this as the Best Answer, you would think that this 14 year old came to her senses and wouldn’t try to sneak an account. The comment she made to the person answering tells otherwise:
Thanks for the advice but i made a new one and i doubt he would check. I am gonna tell him when i am between 16 - 18 and when he fully understands me.
This teen is very confident that her dad will trust her so much that he won’t even consider thinking that she may open another account behind his back. She knows that he will never check her smart phone, computer or iPad to see if another account exists on any of them. She also knows that he won’t search social media for her name to see if another account exists.
Sneaking around behind parents’ backs isn’t something teens of this generation invented. This has been around for generations in one form or another. A hundred years ago, kids were skipping school to go fishing. 40 years ago, kids were telling their parents that they were having a sleep over at a friend’s house so they could sneak off to see the latest band in concert. 10 years ago, kids were sneaking cigarettes and liquor from their parents. When my kids were young, I told them that their big disadvantage was that I was not a perfect child, and if they were thinking of scamming me, I had probably already done that to my parents, so chances were, they would be caught. Of course, I didn’t have the Internet to worry about. Now, kids are sneaking around the Internet behind their parents’ backs. When the Internet is involved, you never know what kind of person a child could befriend. Kids are aware that they shouldn’t go with or talk to strangers in the real world, but what about online? Many kids have the attitude that they are invincible and that nothing will happen to them, so they take chances that they never would take in the real world. They don’t realize that without privacy settings in place, anyone can see their posts, pictures and even their location. Most kids don’t take the time to set privacy controls. They feel that the more people who see what they have to say, the better. Posting too much information from vacation planning to family fights can be seen by all, so it’s not only the kids that are in danger; it’s the parents too.
Without a private setting, everyone will see every comment or picture that your child posts online. Everyone will also see the rants a child makes about school, parent and even siblings. Not every parent can supervise their kids every single time they go online. This is why monitoring their social media is also important. Like that mom in Utah, monitoring may save a life. Monitoring also should include checking any and all devices that the child uses to go on the Internet for any apps or programs that the parents don’t approve of.
Now, can this be considered “spying”? Well, if this is done out in the open…if the child knows that he or she will be monitored weekly…it’s not spying. Spying is covert; this is out in the open. As parents, you don’t want your kids to sneak around behind your backs, so we need to set an example and not sneak around behind THEIR backs. If a child knows he or she will be monitored, they may not be so quick to try to sneak something that isn’t allowed. Also, parents need to have open discussions with their kids. Don’t just say “I won’t allow it”; tell them WHY you won’t allow it. Listen to their reasons for wanting something. Maybe your kids will show you that they are more responsible and mature than you think. Just don’t think that monitoring and supervising will make you appear “uncool” in your kids’ eyes. Ask that mom in Utah if being “uncool” is the way to go here.