#parkernsfwthought

[unhealthyfantasy]

this blog used to be super secret. people knew it existed, but no one had the url. it was a space for me to get out all my little evil thoughts i felt i couldnt trust with others, not because i dont trust them, but because they were written wounds i was ashamed to be bleeding because of, i was embarrassed of being needy and wanting reassurance i should not seek from others--- that was a big part of it. they were ways of getting those compulsive thoughts out of my system in order to break the cycle of obsession and compulsion

now its pretty much a blog to talk about how horny my boyfriend makes me. crazy how things change

anyway what i really came here to say was i want to pathetically grind against your thigh. i want it to feel good so i can whimper in your hear and turn you on. i want you to press my legs open and tell me how big ive gotten, how hard i feel between your fingers. i want you to taste me; tell me how that has changed; tell me how excited you are to give me just what i want. i want you to shake the earth beneath my very feet

i want to feel our growth pressed together and more hard than either of us could possibly imagine. god, wouldnt that be awesome?

[unhealthyfantasy]

I NEED TO JERK OFF SO BAD MY DICK IS GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE

[unhealthyfantasy]

woke up to find pictures of tdick boners on my timeline. i miss him. i dont need to jerk off.

[unhealthyfantasy]

im so fucking hard oh my god i feel myself throbbing

[unhealthyfantasy]

i keep thinking about him coming over and just how exciting it will be. i imagine going out together and touching each other when we think no one else is looking; knocking our knees against each other under the table, or his hand on my thigh and my hand on his.

i imagine flirting with each other all day, i imagine him using that tone of voice that gets me so bothered, filthy and lowly whispered in my ear. we pent each other up, and the second no one else is around anymore, our mouths are on each other. id love it so much, just a good kiss is enough to get a sound out of me. hed break away and kiss my neck, sucking so lightly.

i imagine long nights with him, nights long coming and terribly high in tension. written word can only take things so far, and experiencing it physically is so much more.

i keep imagining my skin on fire with every one of his touches, every touch that caught me off guard, every touch unexpected but not unwelcome, and every touch that was taken further than the last. i think about every touch he would initiate and how much i would love it. its sort of pathetic how much just a few simple touches could get me so sloppy.

i imagine every chaste kiss is hard fought to not be taken further.

i imagine that every petting of hair is made by claws begging to scratch and pull.

i imagine that every brief exchange of looks is made by eyes begging to have their words communicated for them.

i imagine waking up next to him. the morning sun is bright, but it doesnt burn. hes there in my arms, and his legs are tangled with mine. i would hold him a little closer and a little tighter. hed see me and smile, and id see him and smile.

i imagine dopey and bashful smiles that are so embarrassed to have said something so sickly sweet. i imagine flushed faces and avoiding looks. i imagine being too scared to kiss first.

i imagine getting to love you with my hands. i imagine our hearts beating together as were together again.

i also think about us making out in my car, yeah that has occurred to me too, pretty sweet, huh?

[unhealthyfantasy]

horny posting look away or dont

fuuuck it sounds so stupid, but when i fell at the park, i fell kind of nasty, and i already know its going to be a nasty bruise. its the kind of bruise that discolors the hair follicles before anything else, and the few speckles of color are tinted blue, and it hurts so bad to the touch, and its radiating an ache that makes me slightly limp... so even if it doesnt visibly bruise i know its going to hurt beneath the skin... but the thing is i can stop thinking about you digging your fingers into the bruise. it would hurt so bad, but just the thought of it turns me on. touching it myself, rubbing the tender muscles around it,,, hnnnfgmgfghh im hard

[unhealthyfantasy]

i must be ovulating his voice is exciting me so bad

[unhealthyfantasy]

sex is both dysphoric and euphoric. sex makes me feel like a boy, that is until i remember i dont have a penis which means "topping" gives little to no stimulation and then i have to ask to have myself gotten off and its so embarrassing. im a poor switch stuck inside a world of bottoms </3