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[princessmolly-2811]

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[browneyesandadiamondheart-blog]

Anxiety and Depression: Why It Should Be Taken Seriously.

Ok. For blog number four. I wanted to focus on something that millions of Americans have, deal with, or do not even know that they have it or struggle with. In my opinion, it is like a silent disease. You may not see it on the surface, but a hell of a lot of boiling water and hurricanes are going on inside the person’s mind and body.  

Anxiety and depression are two of the most common mental health issues. I have known people all my life, both old and young, that have a wide range of severity of either one or a different mental health condition. Anxiety is more than a panic attack once in a while. Depression is more than not wanting to get out of bed one day. 

To be honest, I am sure there are many people out there in my circle or extended family that see it was a “bad mood” or say “oh, you’re just having a bad day,” and one of my favorites, “it will get better.” Ok story time. Back when I was about three, four, or seven years old, I remember I was sick but there was a family or holiday party at our house. I had just woken up from a nap and my mom was carrying me out of my bedroom. Just at one glance at the crowd of family, I screamed and freaked out. I honestly do not know why I did it. At first I think my parents just thought I was flustered or very tired from being ill. I also did not used to be that introverted as I am now. When I was a toddler, I would walk in anybody’s house and yell “I’m here!” in my baby-like voice or something similar. So it was unusual at the time. It was something more that would remain dormant for the next few years until a future trigger. 

Fast forward to late elementary and middle school. I used to be teased and bullied verbally for how I looked, dressed, or what I was into at the time. It almost became to be a daily routine. No one would sit next to me on the bus, rumors were spread about me for no reason, and I was called “weird,” “stupid bitch,” “why don’t you have friends,” and the worst one... “maybe you should consider killing yourself.” It is something that has been hard to shake. And honestly, I have had thoughts and attempts of suicide, hurting myself, or wishing I was someone else because of how bad it got. Since I was eight or nine, I have been in and out of counseling and therapy. 

For some of you reading this, it may be hard to hear or the first time hearing it but hey, I’m STILL HERE and have made it this far with other hardships and frustrating setbacks. 

Back in September of 2016, I remember having an increase in panic attacks after classes in my car. Wondering if I would be able to take on a full load, worrying about internship applications, money, scheduling time with friends, etc. I gathered the strength and courage to finally schedule an appointment to get diagnosed and to take medication. I was told from the doctor that I have moderate anxiety and a low level of depressive type of symptoms. It made sense and was not surprising. I may seem calm and collective on the surface, but there are times where I cannot hide it or appear too good at hiding it. For those that have never experienced a panic attack, for me it starts with my muscles becoming tense (especially in my chest), then I start to breathe more rapidly, I feel like I have a pit in my stomach, my hands or knees shake, and if it’s really bad, I sob with all of the above and have to lie or sit down. The last time I had one was back in late September. 

Thankfully, I am now taking medication, going back to therapy, and am finding different ways to cope whenever I do feel my anxiety boil. I write, read books or Billboard :), listen to music non-stop, exercise, meditate, and now use aromatherapy. I swear my room has three different candles and Scentsy wax as well. :) My room basically smells like a spa or a candle store all of the time. 

Also, I wanted to take a moment to say to anyone out there that is struggling with anxiety or severe depression and have triggers, just now that I LOVE YOU and there are ways to cope. This is for people that I have gone to high school with, that are close friends with, adult mentors, family friends, Please get help when you feel that the world or people close to you are against you. You have a purpose to be here.

 If they do not understand, then there is someone that will as long as you open up to them! There will be dark times and I still have them and get down and almost feel sick. But...sometimes it just takes one step or sitting up out of the bed to feel better. And most importantly, you are NOT alone. Trust me. I thought I was the only one at times going through what I still am now. 

Mental health is a huge issue and still has tremendous stigma. One solution is to educate not only yourself, but for those around you. Schools, politicians, the work place, movie executives, music and talent managers, and the media need to look into more credible sources for stories of research, medication, treatment, and support systems. All you have to do is LISTEN to the stories with an OPEN HEART AND MIND.  

I know it was a long post. But it is worth it to read. Next time you see a close friend, family member, or any one you trust. Tell them that you love them and that they matter. <3 Cause we all need a hug every now and then. In conclusion, you never know what someone is going through!