Discover Top Posts Tagged with #pat speaks

Hey guys! Pat here! Just wanted to let you know, Asks are going to be closing very soon for the holiday arc, as we are getting close to the climax, and thusly, the end.

So, if you have any questions, please ask now!

#just thought I’d let you know! ^^#anyway #ooc #ask the science squad #Pat speaks

ok i'm absolute trash for xander and cordelia i love it when they share 1 singular braincell

#im only on season 2 no spoilers #buffy the vampire slayer #xander harris #cordelia chase #xander x cordelia #pat speaks #btvs

Not sure if i already asked this but, which one kf your IC's would most likely say:

"If i die, i die"

Most pats have no inherent fear of death, considering that their bodies are replaceable, so if they have to die to get a job done, they will without any question.

Reaper sans is not aware of their existence

#xiphiaanswers #pat stuff #pat speaks #faithcel #doodle

Things that happened yesterday

The backstory to all of this is that whenever I get bored, I do incredibly silly things. In this case, I ran for student representative at my uni. And won.

This mostly involves listening to people complain, sit on committees and generally being able to accomplish nothing since we, in fact, have no power. But I digress.

Part of my "responsibilities" is that I have to sit in on the once a month meetings with the student representatives from all the student organization's on campus. These positions are normally awarded as a "pity" spot in organizations, as their responsibilities include only two things:

1. Show up once a month

2. Report back to your org that all of dick was accomplished.

So they're mostly filled by freshman, stoners, idiots, or people that the rest of the org needs to buy off some how but doesnt wabt them causing too much damage. Like some political appointments.

At this point, you can probably see how much enthusiasm I have for this meeting. Its honestly worse than a frontal lobotomy; because at least with that you get drugs and fun and interesting side effects. Plus, you know, there's an honest to god chance that your suffering will end.

So I am sitting up front in an auditorium, because my boss is kind of a dick and told me to sit there, wishing for death, when I hear the worst sound ever.

A white girl saying "hollah".

In a southern accent.

"Oh", says I, "maybe one of the sorority sisters managed to sneak in some liquor and is now white girl wasted. This'll at least end my boredom for the next few minutes until she gets dragged out of the room."

If only. I look up in despair to see this...thing. This white, southern, loud, annoying sorority sister who is best described as a southern bell of appropriation is standing in front of me.

"Alright Pat. Maybe this isn't somebody from your university. It is pledge/AA recruitment week, maybe it is just one of those chucklefucks."

"Howdy and Hi y'all my name is * and I'm the new fraternity and sorority life coordinator." (I honestly do not remember her name, not that i would use it. It might summon some basic bitch who would insist on telling me about the healing powers of yoga, vegan chopsticks and her boyfriend Chad). I had worked with this ladies predecessor. Nice lady. Pretty smart. She kept her basic in check. The new one looks like she might break a litmus test.

"I'm up here to tell y'all all about what is going on this week!" As I was googling how to slit my wrists with a mechanical pencil, I missed the next bit of the conversation until..

"Oh, ya don't know? Well girl, let. Me. Tell. You."

I look towards the back. Thankfully the rep from ABC is being held back from throwing something at this lady by a couple of frat members. And even those guys are having a hard time.

"Y'all have to excuse me, the notes I was given aren't that great, and I had a 'hard' time last night, ya feel me ladies."

Good job lady. Piss off the two most powerful groups on campus by appropriating culture and assuming heteronormativity. All in the space of...however the hell long her presentation lasted.

I honestly don't known how long her babbling lasted as my body, in an attempt to save itself, was trying to disassociate. I tried one last time to hold on to my reality by texting an acquaintance that was also in the same circle of hell as I.

"Oh, I love her."

It was at that point that I embraced the void and wiped the rest of the presentation from my mind.

I was brought back to reality later on when the president started clapping.

Normally, whenever a guest speaker has finished talking, the assembly claps to show their appreciation for them borhering to notice the existence of us peon...students. In this case, the president had to forcibly remind everyone that clapping was a thing we should do at this moment.

I'm marginally proud of the fact that the applause was scattered and half hearted, at best. Maybe a quarter hearted.

#pat speaks #story time