Just wanted to check in. How are you coping? What do you need from us, from your friends and followers?
Hey there, friend. It’s really sweet of you to check in. I know I’m not active here, like, at all these days, and that’s largely because I haven’t felt particularly fannish about anything in a long, long time. That part of my brain is slowly coming back online — I started up a Flight Rising account because...I dunno, yay for pretty dragons? I also enjoyed the new Netflix Witcher TV show a hell of a lot more than I expected I would, so now I’m downloading the Witcher 3 and checking out the first of the short story collections. It’s the first time I’ve even vaguely felt ‘Oooh Hey Neat A Thing For Me To Gleefully Obsess About!!!’ in forever, so we’ll see if that goes anywhere.
Other than that, though, I’m...maintaining, I guess. Work has been nightmarish and triggering and I’m actively looking for a new job, because I’m so beyond burned-out that it’s completely ridiculous and every once in a while I just completely lose my shit because someone brings in their two-week-old baby or whatever, and...honestly, neither I nor my patients nor the hospital deserve that. And although I understand the impulse to want to say or do something helpful, there...isn’t really anything anyone can do? Grief is weird and messy and complicated, and often quite ugly. I know full well that I’ve become The Bummer Friend. It’s kinda lonely and kinda sucks, and I also know there’s no real point in trying to force myself to be anything other than what I am right now, which is a person grieving both the loss of a child and also the loss of the future that child represented. That shit takes time, so. I’m trying to be kind to myself.
But I do appreciate you checking in to see how I’m doing, I really do. And while there’s nothing specific anyone can do for me personally, I hope folks will consider donating to places like Planned Parenthood or NARAL or other organizations working to protect people’s reproductive rights. I’m extremely fortunate to have been living in Oregon when this all went down, and that my insurance both covered my hospital bills and allowed me to chose a hospital without any religious affiliations. A lot of people aren’t so fortunate. They need all the help and compassion they can get, so for those who want to do something concrete, that’s my suggestion.
Thank you again for writing. I truly do appreciate it <3
My heart goes out to you and your family. I'm sorry doesn't encompass how much I wish that anything could set this right for you.
Thank you so much. I know a lot of folks don’t really know what to say, or worry that “I’m sorry” isn’t enough, but...that’s okay, it really is. For people to truly understand what we’re going through would mean they’ve experienced it themselves, and I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. It helps to know that others grieve for us, that they’re sorry or wish they could do something even though there’s really nothing to be done. It helps more than you can possibly know. <3
patho! i know your schedule is super busy, but if you ever get a chance might i suggest watching the exorcist tv show? it's about two priests who are actually not very good at their jobs and continually yell about their Feelings on Catholicism and one of them is, you might perhaps say, the network tv version of james flint from black sails. i went into it thinking it was a simple show full of simple pleasures and now i'm emotionally compromised.
Okay so several people I know and trust (and who have Excellent Opinions On Things) have been slowly but surely LOSING THEIR SHIT about this show, in a good way, and I kept telling myself I would check it out but never had time to sit down and watch it. And whenever I did have the time, I…kinda forgot about it, because you know how it goes when you have a million and one things all clamoring for airtime inside your brain. Shit gets lost in the shuffle.
However! Delightfully enough, this message caught me right a time when I could, in fact, plonk down in front of the TV with a knitting project or twelve. And, seriously - setting aside the Excellent Opinions Of People I Know And Trust, there was no way I COULDN’T check it out after the description you gave. I mean. ALL OF THOSE THINGS? I LOVE ALL OF THOSE THINGS!!!
Anyway, this was a very long and rambling way to say that I finally watched the first episode and I am HOOKED, dear anon, I am hooked SO DAMN HARD, I am so very here for all of these sad broken people and Catholicism Being Complicated and every single fucking thing Father Marcus does with his face, my god, he’s got such a good and so very expressive face, it hURTS ME
Patho, have you read "The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet"? I just read it and I feel it's right up your alley. Found space families! (At the same time, I have a LOT of critical thoughts, but I still did think about you a number of times as I was reading it.)
I have, actually! I got it as an audiobook, which I highly recommend for those who haven’t read it yet, and it very much hit a lot of my “found family in SPACE!!!!” buttons. I have a lot of buttons regarding found families in SPACE!!!!, really.
(can I just say I love that it made you think of me? I AM VERY PREDICTABLE)
Overall, I thought it was pretty damn delightful -- ensemble stories that place a lot of weight on the relationships between the various members of the ensemble are my JAM, and I appreciated the variety of interesting, complex, and nuanced relationships, all of which struck me as quite different from what you usually see in traditionally published fiction (it’s also nice to see books where white and/or straight and/or male and/or cis 100% aren’t the default!). I’m curious about the criticisms you had, since I personally found the main plot to be a little on the thin side and there were a number of moments that leaned a liiiiiiittle too hard on coincidence for my liking (I don’t like when the plot machinery shows through the cracks in a story, if that makes sense), and some of the Ohan stuff was...well. I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about the Ohan situation.
For the most part, though, I really enjoyed it. Scores very very high on the found-families-in-SPACE!!!-o-meter.
So this is something I’ve been thinking about off and on for a while now, and I just saw a string of posts that brought it back into the forefront of my brain:
When it comes to interacting with medical professionals -- doctors, nurses, EMTs, whoever -- what are the things they say or do that make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable? Conversely, what things do make you feel safe, comfortable, or respected, or would make you feel that way if someone took the time/effort to do it? What do you wish medical professionals would say or do when it comes to partnering with you about your health?
I like to think I’m pretty good about certain things when it comes to working with my patients, but I know there’s always room for improvement on a personal level, and there’s definitely room for improvement when it comes to the system as a whole. I’d love to hear about situations other than the emergency department, too: primary care visits, urgent care visits, OBGYNs and surgery consults and mental health, whatever. There is always, always crossover, and harmful attitudes in one specialty are probably present in another.
As always, I’ve left anonymous turned on, and I absolutely understand if people would rather send me anonymous asks as opposed to replying or sending asks under their own username. This is one of those topics where I think it’s important for me to sit back and really listen to what people have to say instead of jumping in with my own thoughts right away, so it’s going to be a while before I reply to anything.
Hi! Hope you don't me asking this. I've been working at a hospital for a few months now (in a clerical role) and tbh it's made me seriously consider looking at going into nursing. Thing is I'm 27 soon and while that's not old I also know some nurses my age who have made it to ward manager level already, and I'd feel so behind. Do you have any thoughts or experience with people who came to nursing "late", or advice for someone considering a complete career change to choose nursing?
Hi there! Sorry it took me so damn long to answer this. I actually love getting questions along these lines, but – as I’m sure a lot of you are painfully aware by now – I have kind of a terrible track record when it comes to answering things in a timely fashion. I hope you can forgive the lateness.
As to the actual substance of your question…this is something I can speak to personally! I didn’t decide to be a nurse until I’d been working as a paralegal for about three years. Once I’d decided to go into nursing, it still took me another few years to get through all of my prerequisites. By that point I’d realized being a paralegal wasn’t something I wanted even as placeholder job, so I ended up working as an administrative assistant in the trauma division of a nearby hospital while I finished up my prereqs. Technically, nursing is my third career.
Here’s the thing – while I feel like there’s a general media trend towards expecting people in their 20s to know exactly what they’re doing career-wise and to be solidly settled into something by the time they’re 30, the way this plays out in real life is…definitely not that. Shit, when I graduated from college I started working as a paralegal not because I was particularly interested in law, but because I desperately needed health insurance and being a paralegal turned out to be something I was good at. It wasn’t until I hit my mid-20s that I realized, “wait, I don’t actually like this! THIS ISN’T WHAT I WANT TO BE DOING AT ALL!!!” I flailed around in a massive quarter-life crisis for a while, and eventually got my shit together enough to figure out what I actually wanted to be doing.
What’s cool about nursing is that my story isn’t an unusual one. Sure, I work with some younger nurses who came into the field right after college and have WAY more experience than I do despite being younger, but…that’s not always the case. A lot of the nurses my age – by which I mean people in their mid-30s – did something else first, even if that “something” was floating around aimlessly from shitty temp job to shitty temp job until they figured things out. Education-wise, I’m much farther along than some of the older nurses I work with; experience-wise, they can run circles around me. I work with some nurses who are younger than me but have been RNs for longer, but because they’re brand-new to emergency nursing I’ve got a bit more experience because I’ve been an ED nurse for literally my entire career. Shit, I work with CNAs who’ve worked in an emergency setting for longer than I’ve been alive, and boy howdy, you better believe we all recognize what valuable resources they are in spite of not having the initials RN after their names. You can spend 10, 20, 30 years in one specialty and then decide, “You know what? I’m sick of hospital nursing, I think I want to try working out in the community instead” and…BOOM, now you’re a newbie again, albeit an incredibly skilled one who will probably kick ass in no time.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is that age is an extremely relative thing when it comes to certain careers, and nursing in particular seems to be quite kind in this regard. I’m not going to say you’ll never doubt yourself or feel tempted to compare yourself to younger peers, because – given that I’ve done exactly those things and then some – I’m pretty sure I’d be lying. But I can say that even if you’re harboring doubts, things will most likely work out okay anyway. If you’re someone who’s into pursuing leadership opportunities and is good in leadership roles? TRUST ME, friend, your supervisors and coworkers will figure this out super fucking fast and will start badgering you to apply for leadership roles whether you feel ready for them or not. Seriously. SERIOUSLY. Trust me on this.
I think you’ve got a leg up in that you already work for a hospital. That’s huge. While there are a bazillion specialties that aren’t hospital-based, most people tend to start their careers doing direct patient care in a hospital setting, which is usually a good thing in terms of building experience and getting comfortable with patients and whatnot. But hospitals are also – not to put too fine a point on it – weird as FUCK in a lot of ways, and people who don’t really know what to expect can be in for something of a rude awakening when the time comes. In your case, one of the most valuable things I can recommend you do is talk to your hospital’s HR and/or volunteer departments about setting up a job shadowing session with a nurse. Ideally, you’d set up a few, focusing on specialties you think are interesting or that call to you in some way. I’d also recommend finding out if your hospital has any employee reimbursement programs for continuing education: if you do end up pursuing a nursing career, there are a LOT of hospitals who like retaining their current staff in some capacity, and are willing to provide some measure of financial reimbursement on a per credit basis when it comes to going for a health care degree. And if your clerical duties bring you into contact with nurses, chat with them too – most of us love talking about our jobs, positive and negative aspects both, and their input might clarify things for you a little as well.
Changing careers isn’t easy. It’s especially not easy when you (potentially) have to pursue an entirely new educational degree to do it. But if it’s something you’re excited about and passionate about, I definitely think it’s worth it. I wasn’t ready to go into nursing when I was in my early 20s for…a lot of reasons, really, but I was ready for it by the time my late 20s rolled around, and maybe that’s how it is for you too. Maybe it’s not even the nursing thing so much as the “pursuing something new and interesting and challenging” thing, and if that is the case, then great! You’re probably at a point in your life where it’s pretty dang feasible to tackle it! Or maybe it IS that nursing is what calls you, and if that’s where you’re at, then I think you should definitely allow yourself to consider it. There are plenty of valid reasons to not pursue nursing as a career, but please trust me when I say your age isn’t one of them.
Whatever you ultimately end up doing, Anon, I wish you all the luck in the world. Starting something new can be scary no matter what age you tackle it, but I think it’s awesome you’re even considering it in the first place. Feel free to hit me up with questions anytime <3
Is there a difference between heroin and morphine? Or are they different names for the same thing?
They’re two separate things, although one is derived from the other. Morphine, codeine, and a few other compounds I don’t actually recall are found naturally in the opium poppy, and only a certain amount of refining is needed to make morphine from opium. Heroin, meanwhile, is morphine to which other stuff is added. This is where it gets murky for me, because I don’t actually know how to make heroin (hello NSA people who may or may not be monitoring all our internet activity, please do not come after me) or all the specific ways in which it differs from morphine, but I do know it has some differences in chemical structure and potency – namely, that it’s a LOT more potent than straight morphine.
Interestingly enough, the difference in potency – that you could get a very strong effect with a relatively small dose – is why heroin was treated as something of a ~wonder drug~ in the early 1900s and touted as an alternative to morphine. Then oxycodone was discovered/invented shortly afterward and everyone was like, “whoa, hey, this is even less addictive than those other two things we keep prescribing to people, let’s start using this instead!” and heroin kinda fell out of favor.
(of course, then it turned out oxycodone was still pretty damn addictive too, and you’d think providers would’ve figured out by that point that the various medications ultimately derived from a single highly addictive substance might also be highly addictive, but…I GUESS NOT)
Do you still have that treatise on opiates you mentioned? Do you mind sharing it? (If not publicly, what about if I messaged you my email?)
I do, actually! It was meant to answer a specific set of questions, so it’s pretty focused in certain areas and leaves out a lot of other stuff, but I’m certainly not opposed to tweaking it and throwing it up here if folks are actually interested in that sort of thing.
