Validation
It's nice to feel validated. When you walk a solitary path, it's a struggle. It's a struggle because you are never sure if what you are doing really is right. Oh, you can tell everyone how awesomely certain you are, but there's always that voice, that one voice that says "You're not right. You need to go back to your old ways. Everyone thinks you are insane for feeling this way. You're stupid for this... You're going to burn in hell for all eternity." And that voice NEVER FUCKING GOES AWAY. It gets quiet, even near a whisper, but it's never gone.
My path is more solitary than most, because leadership is lonely. It's my choice, but it's lonely. Plain and simple. You have to make hard decisions, and you have to live with them. You have to make the people under your command BELIEVE in you and what you say, that you are doing the right things for them. In addition, you have to convince them that you believe in them as well, and that they can accomplish every single thing you tell them, no matter how difficult.
And somewhere in all of that, you have to remember that you don't know everything, that you will make mistakes, and that you will overcome those mistakes. You have to remain humble, yet confident. Calm in the face of the storm.
That's what leadership is. That is what being a Prime is. Every bit of your energy has to go into that aura of calm courage. You have to project it, so that others will believe you are right, and march through the fire for you, knowing you will be right there with them until the bitter end.
No wonder people don't often choose to lead.
It's quiet, it's solitary, and there are times it sucks. You wonder if what you have learned and discovered really is true. It's not doubt as in a loss of faith, it's that initial questioning that says "I know I believe this, because it feels right, but how come no one else would think like me and understand it?" Because you are different, you are unique. And people fear different. Tell them you want to be a good person, they got it. Tell them you're a Prime, you can tap into the Matrix and ease their pain and fear, and that you feel chosen to be a leader, they call the men in white coats.
You feel very alone. And you accept that being alone is the price of your path. You make peace with it.
And then you have someone ask what you believe. And reluctantly, you tell them the truth, because hey, they never talked to you before anyways.. what do you have to lose?
But they agree with you. They believe you. They sigh and shudder with relief, because all of a sudden, they're not alone either. Someone believes as they do. They see how you act, day by day, and they say "It really does work for him. He really believes it. And it makes him a better person."
Thank you to those that ask and listen. You're never alone.