My past couple of days. This has to do with my feelings &&' such so fair warning, if you don't want to waste your time reading it.
I have made a decision. These past couple of days have been my worst, I will admit. I cut and burned all for you. I felt like I honestly wasn't good enough. I spend half my day crying, and the other half tearing into my skin. That made me feel good enough. I miss you. I love you, so much. Part of me doesn't understand why you left this all behind like it was nothing, and the other part tells me what a terrible person I am, because it's all my fault. But I want that to end. I don't want to spent day, and night with my lights off and a lighter in my hand, just because of you. I was clean for thirteen days before this. I'm just sad now, but I have decided that I will try, TRY, not to be anymore. I won't lie and say that you're not what I think about all the time, and that I don't want you back, but I will move past this because I am strong. Hopefully. Sometimes I wonder if you meant what you said to me, but now I know that it doesn't matter because I can see that you have moved on and I will try to do the same. From here on out I will try to keep my skin intact, and my thoughts in peace. Just know that I loved you the whole way through, Patrick. Always remember that.