The fight for women’s reproductive health has me thinking about the ways men support women. Protecting healthcare for women of all ages and income levels is going to take the work of men and women together. In trying to focus on the good, I’ve been trying think of stories that help me feel the support of men for women. The story that comes up again and again is Paul and Julia’s.
For those of you who haven’t read Julia Child’s utterly charming memoir, My Life in France, here’s a thumbnail sketch of their story. Julia and Paul met in Sri Lanka, where they both worked for the Office of Strategic Services, the US spy agency that was the predecessor of the CIA. Julia was in her 30s - not to mention 6′2″ - and was entering what was then seen as spinster territory. That didn’t deter Paul; they married in 1945. Ironically, after returning to the US, Julia enrolled in a cooking school in LA, and it was a disaster: "I was willing to put up with that awful cooking to get Julia," remarked Paul.
Paul, an artist and poet, got a job in Paris to promote American arts through the State Department. It’s there that he introduces Julia to the food she will spend her life recreating: fine French cuisine. I love this description of their time in Europe from a fellow Julia & Paul fan:
They lived in boring little towns and cramped urban apartments that reeked of fish. The only constant? Each other. Oh, and laughter! Lots and lots of laughter.
By the time Paul and Julia move back to the US, they were down on their luck but strong in their relationship. Julia’s cookbook, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, was rejected by several publishers, and Paul’s career was on the decline. But he was incredibly supportive of Julia’s plan to teach cooking classes and continue with her vision. He remodeled their kitchen—of special concern was raising the counters—to better suit needs.
Finally, their mutual commitment to her work paid off—she got her show on WGBH, helped teach America to cook, and become the person we all know about. Paul’s support was unflagging. “Whatever it is, I will do it,” he told Julia. He eventually played the role of manager, photographer, recipe-tester, proofreader, and illustrator. He was at her side on every book tour.
This article by Ruth Reichl shows how rare Paul’s support of Julia’s career was in the 1960′s:
Women all over America were feeling oppressed—and with good reason. I cannot count the women of my mother’s generation who paid heavily for their success. Their husbands resented it; their children did too. But Paul Child was a supremely confident man.
So when my heart starts to sink with thoughts of the continuous (and largely male-driven) attack against women’s health, I try to remember that there are men like Paul Child who work to support women and challenge male dominance. And that we now live in a time where many men are going public in their support of Planned Parenthood.
This helps to fill my heart back up.
Thank you, Julia and Paul Child, for sharing your love story with the world. For being unconventional. For seeking adventure. For being funny. And for continuing to evolve and learn your entire lifetimes.