#pcy:int.

[surrealpcy]

여기에서 ! – @ichxgohcru​를 위해 –  ❝ i bet your mother would be proud of you. ❞

“I don’t think any mother would be proud of a daughter who refuses to settle down and get herself out of trouble. My mother… To be blunt, my mother hates me. She wants me to get right but I don’t. I like what I do, even if it means hurting someone. Even if it means putting the fault on others or bossing someone around.” Haeju let out the breath she was holding in unnoticed, the words spewing past her lips rapidly. She could have said it in a kinder tone, but there wasn’t one. She had never heard those words from someone and somehow, it caused her the think back on the relationship she had with her parents, mostly her mother. It was never a good one. Her mother would say otherwise, but Haeju knew. She took it as it was.

The tone of voice in which she spoke, to him, wasn’t completely unfamiliar. To a typical person, each of those words could perhaps be hard to swallow; It’s not really everyday that you get to hear such specific confessions, let alone from a complete stranger. Because of the tinge of disbelief, his initial reaction didn’t fully consist of anything. He just stared with his pair of eyes that couldn’t possibly help but widen so subtly, and blinked a few times as though to get rid of the slight hint of an expression of his face. Nods soon followed, and he lowered his gaze slowly, pondering with pursed, chapped lips. 

Why did he even say such a thing? He could’ve given other sorts of compliments. Well done, this is beautiful, you did  great job -- why did he have to be so specific? The feeling of regret easily settled in his stomach, and after just a few more breaths aghast the silence, he lifted his gaze to offer a small apologetic smile, softly bowing his head with a hushed ‘I’m sorry’. His earlier demeanor had vanished for a brief moment, but he was, as always, easy to bounce back to normal. “I have conflicts with my mother too, sometimes. I’m sorry for.. being too intrusive, aaah, I didn’t mean to.. I don’t know the entirety of.. your relationship with her, but I do hope it eventually gets resolved. Forgiveness, and communication, are important.”

[surrealpcy]

여기에서 ! – @bellsxai​를 위해 --  ❝ do you love yourself? ❞

The question was a loaded one, sure she could say that she loved herself because no one would ever truly be honest when it came to a question like that. “No, I don’t. I don’t know if it’s because I’m trying to find myself but I’ve honestly put myself through things that I shouldn’t. I often look down on myself because of how I look. But I am learning to love myself, learning to be comfortable in my own skin, love the things that make me who I am, and most importantly I’m learning to forgive myself.“

The female’s reply, he found, was something he could easily resonate with. Sure, his love for himself had always been akin to a river; continuously flowing, often calm, other times riotous.. But, just like any other person, he had insecurities of his own. Even though he thrived on people’s good opinions, and compliments - in retrospect, it was still hard to fully love himself at first. Though, since he had a lot of things going on, it was the least of his worries so he barely thought about it. All he wanted was to relax and be happy anyways. Little did he know, his tiny insecurities contributed to the amounts of stress he had from time to time. Sat right beside his friend, he stared at his half-empty glass of beer, pushing his thoughts away with one drag of his tongue over his lips. He was quiet, but he had a lot to say.

“It’s hard, isn’t it? It was really hard for me, too, believe it or not.” Afraid to seem like a coward, he spoke up right before the female could, lifting his gaze and allowing it to settle on his companion. With a sigh, he then began to examine her face; she was smiling a bit, but it still looked sad. It made him sad, too. “Mm- well, at least you are trying now, right?” A hopeful little quirk of the eyebrows. “In life, we tend to put ourselves in situations that we end up being too afraid, or..too unequipped to finish. And when we do, we have this urge to give up. Right? So.. when that happens, we should remind ourselves that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. Self-love is hard to achieve. I know that for a fact. But, you see, once you learn to realize your flaws, and the beautiful parts of you -- once you really get to know yourself truly, it won’t be so hard anymore.”