I write about peace because I struggle to be a peaceful person. It does not come easily to me. I have to work at it, and somedays I have to work at it harder than other days. Lately I haven't been blogging as much about my daily peace choices because for whatever reason tumblr doesn't seem to be working correctly on either of my computers making writing and posting a difficult task. A task I want to avoid because I don't want to deal with the frustration... because if you remember...I'm trying to be at peace.... Last week I mentioned in a conversation with some co-workers about how much I think about peace in an average day, and when I said that...two of them rolled their eyes. I wasn't sure how to respond to that. I wasn't sure if they meant, "Yes, we know and we wish you would stop talking about it!" or if it meant, "You may think about it a lot, but you sure aren't living it!" See my insecurities coming out? How am I suppose to be at peace with a comment like that laying on a shelf in my mind??? If I was a fully formed peace maker I could probably sit down with them and have a gentle conversation to clear up any misunderstandings there might be between us, but alas and alack I am far, far from my ideals. And there is that time and space factor, in order to have that time of gentle conversation I have to have time and be in the same space as said co-workers and that is not going to happen unless I make a point of it happening...which let's face it...is probably not going to happen... The point I'm trying to get to is that for me, peace is my path. It is my destination too, but on a daily basis, it is just the path I'm trying really hard to walk on. A walk that must indeed look like a drunken stumble all over the place most of the time...but nevertheless, it is a path I'm trying to follow and figure out. I have to give myself, and the others in my life the grace and time it takes to walk on it with confidence and purpose. I've come a long way, and sometimes I need to realize I shouldn't be ashamed I haven't figured it out yet, I have a long way to go and the only way I can make it is to keep walking.