"Congratulations! You are our one millionth patron!"
Diego narrows his eyes at the guy holding a balloon and handing it to Klaus. He raises a brow and looks at his boyfriend who seems very excited.
"Oh my God, Di! I'm the millionth customer!" Klaus takes the balloon excitedly.
Diego smiles at him and shakes his head fondly, "Congrats, Baby, come on, we gotta get Claire a birthday gift and go home. I'm hungry."
"Well, lucky for you Sir, you and your husband here have earned a shopping spree of twenty five hundred dollars to be able to be used anywhere in the mall, Including the food court!" The man hands Klaus a comically large checks and poses for a photo before taking it back.
"Hey!" Klaus tries to grab it back before the man rips it away finally and hands it to his assistant.
"Sir, I will give you a card with the amount on it you can spend, you can't spend the fake check." He hands Klaus a card that Klaus immediately puts down his shirt which has a built in bra.
"I just thought you were trying to take it back cause you counted wrong or something." Klaus looks at Diego with a huge smile, "Di! We can get Claire an awesome present, and we can get some things we need for the apartment."
Diego smiles wide and holds Klaus by the hips, "Lets, go, Baby!"
The mall manager clears his throat, "I just need you to take pictures after for the paper, so can you meet me back down here, say at…" He looks at his watch, "Six o clock?"
Diego looks at his own watch, "That gives us four hours, can you do that Baby?"
Klaus is already thinking about all the stores they're gonna hit, "Oh I can definitely do that, but first, food for fuel!"
"Yes, to the food court!" Diego looks at the man, "We'll be back here at six with out haul."
The man nods with a smile, wiping his brow, "Oh good. For bigger items, you can ask the manager to bring the item here and then it will be delivered to you later. Thank you gentlemen, and have fun!"
They start out in the food court where Klaus decides to get a banana split from Baskin Robbins and Diego gets a full plate of Chinese food. They both eat at one of the tables and Diego thoroughly appreciates his chow mien and orange chicken while Klaus gingerly eats his banana split.
"We should probably get Claire Bear's present first, yeah, Baby?"
Diego looks at Klaus and nods, "Yeah, get the most important out of the way and then focus on us. I know you've been wanting some new clothes and makeup."
Klaus smiles at how Diego remembers that, knowing he had only mentioned it once or twice in passing. They were working on saving their money to try and get a house but this money was only for the mall and it was only for the mall and they were going to have so much fun. "Yes! And you have been thinking about a new record player!"
"Hey? Have I told you today how much I love you?" Diego wasn't used to someone thinking about what he wanted and while their relationship was still new, he felt more wanted than ever.
Klaus smiles, licking some chocolate sauce off his spoon, "You mentioned it a few times this morning, but I'd like if you told me a few more times."
"Well, I love you, and I can't wait to see you try on clothes." Diego doesn't mention how he was also excited about taking them off after.
"You are lucky to get to see that, I agree. We'll have a whole montage!" Klaus excitedly finishes his banana split and waits on Diego to finish his meal, knowing he was hungry.
"Oh! We could also use a new microwave." Diego shoves more food in his mouth, finishing up pretty quickly.
"A girl overcooks a frozen pizza one time and suddenly we need a new microwave." Klaus pretends to be offended as he sits back in his seat, arms crossed.
Diego rolls his eyes, "Parts of it are black, Baby. You can't reheat pizza for five minutes."
"Fine a new microwave. Are you done? Let's get going!" Klaus stands and gathers their trash, "We have stuff to buy!"
They first hit up the toy store, looking for some things for Claire. They decide on a Karaoke machine, some Barbies (they choose Barbies of all races, sizes, and abilities), a Barbie Dream House, some educational toys to make Allison happy, and a special astronaut Barbie to make Luther happy. Once all that shopping was done, they have around twenty two hundred dollars left. They ask for Claire's presents to be delivered downstairs at six and since Klaus was the Mall winner, they readily agreed.
The next stop is a clothing boutique that caters to Klaus's particular style — androgynous with a hint of grunge. Diego sits in a chair while Klaus tries on various outfits. Diego claps and whistles at appropriate times, glad Klaus is enjoying himself. And damn, does Klaus look good in these outfits. There's one in particular with fishnet stockings Diego can't quite get over and he has to shift in his seat when Klaus comes out in it.
Klaus decides on five skirts, three pants, and a dozen blouses. Oh, and two dresses. His grand total is one thousand dollars and while he initially felt bad at the price tag, Diego assures him he deserves this and he was the millionth customer at the mall, after all. Plus, Klaus noticed that Diego seemed to enjoy the outfits very much. They pay with the gift card and like the other store, their order will be delivered downstairs at the entrance at six.
Next stop is a department store where they pick out a microwave and some makeup, strange combination, but that's what department stores are all about.
They take a break at the bookstore cafe with a Boba tea for Klaus and a cappuccino for Diego. Diego hums at the taste appreciatively, "I forgot how good good coffee can be."
Klaus smiles at him, "I won't tell Five because he'll be even more insufferable."
Diego laughs some, "Thanks, Baby."
"Okay! Next on the agenda is your record player! And them we should look at espresso machines so you can have good coffee every day." Klaus smiles around his straw, wanting to give Diego the whole world.
"Baby, really? I mean this is technically your gift card, and you only got some clothes and makeup." Diego tries not to enjoy that next sip as much as he does, but he can't help it.
"Yes, really, lover. I may not be a coffee drinker but I would love making coffee for my handsome man before he goes off to work every morning." Klaus absolutely adores him in every way.
"I love you so fucking much." Diego is so grateful they got here. It took a long time. He finishes his drink and holds out a hand for Klaus to take.
"I love you so much, Di. You're my everything." Klaus sucks up the last of his tea, standing with Diego's hand in his, let's finish this shopping spree!
One record player and one espresso maker later, along with some art prints for their apartment and future house, they head back to the entrance to meet the manager and take promotional pictures.
The managers of the stores, as well as the manager of the mall, are standing near the escalators (without blocking traffic of course) with all of the merchandise Diego and Klaus bought.
"Shit, I didn't know we got this much stuff." Diego looks somewhat sheepishly at Klaus.
"We knew what we wanted, Baby!" Klaus stands next to Diego and the manager for the promotional shot, taking several to get all his good angles. Who was he kidding, they were all good angles.
Once the photos are done and deliveries are organized, Diego and Klaus head home with all they can carry. Once Diego starts the car he looks over at his passenger, "Okay, that was awesome."
Klaus giggles, "Wasn't it?" He takes Diego's hand with a smile, "We deserved that. And Claire Bear deserved that. I can't wait to see her face at her party tomorrow."
Diego smiles as he heads towards their apartment, "Yeah, me neither. She's gonna be so excited."
"I hate this, I just need you to know I hate this." Diego checks out his ass in the mirror and throws the boa around his neck.
Klaus rolls his eyes, "Yeah, sure, Di, you hate it soooo much." Klaus looks at himself in the mirror this time, appreciating the dress he's wearing and how it shows off his legs. "Come on, drag your eyes off that fine ass of yours and let's get going! We're up next!"
Diego looks at Klaus (after straightening up his wig) and frowns, "Look, I know this is the only way we can get out of this place unnoticed, but no, I do not enjoy this. I mean, this wig is itchy!"
Klaus goes over to Diego and puts his hands on his hips, leaning in to kiss him a bit, "But you look so fucking hot, Baby. I'm kinda glad we get to wear these back home."
Diego can't help but smile. He was not expecting having to put on a drag show in order to escape The Birdcage without being seen by the group they were chasing, but here they were, courtesy of the kind owners. One of which made them promise to bring the outfits back tomorrow. He kisses Klaus back and runs his hand over his ass, "You do look good. I'll enjoy taking this dress off."
"Yeah you will, and I'll enjoy peeling these leather pants off you." Klaus slaps his ass and turns to Diego excitedly as their music starts, "It's showtime, Baby!"
Klaus does one final check in the mirror before heading out to stage with Diego following behind. He immediately starts working the audience by winking and swinging his boa.
Diego follows his lead, getting way more into it than he expected to. He stands beside Klaus as he lip syncs alongside him, dancing as seductively as he can in the tight pants and heels. Klaus chose for their song to be "Heroes" by David Bowie, which, while not a typical Drag Queen song, was one they both know by heart.
They take turns singing it to each other, making sure to give the audience a good show by touching one another very inappropriately. The audience eats it up, throwing singles on the stage and whooping.
Klaus grabs Diego's ass and kisses him at the final note, making the audience go wild and throw bigger bills on the stage. Klaus graciously picks them up, showing his admirers his beautiful fake boobs, giving one older woman a wink as he traces her cheek with a finger and gives her yet another wink, which he gets a one hundred dollar bill for his trouble.
Diego takes a few bows before grabbing Klaus and heading out the back exit, laughing and kissing Klaus, effectively dodging their would be assailants. They get into Diego's car and drive off, holding hands.
