#penguin's personal posts

[asingingpenguin]

If you see this rat in Atlanta tomorrow, come say hi! :>

[asingingpenguin]

RATTY GAVE ME A PUCK!!!!!!!!!

[asingingpenguin]

I'm still job hunting, and I came across a listing that fascinated me with the qualifications

WHERE DID YOU PUT THE BISEXUALS????

[asingingpenguin]

People are very weird about fictional couples having biological children, and I do want y'all to know I find it very gross to insist that is the way to have children.

[asingingpenguin]

I have sure been having a time with my gender recently. Not that my perception of it has changed, but that I did "fully transition" and still seen as just a woman. It's wild to have been on my chosen hormone now for almost 6 years and there's next to no real changes. And when I've brought it up to doctors they ignore my confusion. It's one of those things where I didn't want a lot of changes, but it feels bad that they also didn't happen. The most likely answer, and what I have been going with, is that whatever actual intersex variation I have makes it so either sex hormone just fucks with me in different ways. That or that my body is terrible at processing T specifically. The latter does make more sense because I've always had high T without any outward signs.

This is all to say, I wanted to be viewed as in the middle and nothing, but I am just now failed woman... which was what I was before all the headache of getting on hormones and many surgeries. I am happier with my body, but I am just so fucking exhausted. So much of my brain space has gone to "fixing" my body for remnants of my failed biology to STILL physically and socially hurt me. I am just so fucking tired.

[asingingpenguin]

After calling 4 times to try to schedule a spinal tap to verify the MRI's findings, I finally was able to get an appointment next week!

[asingingpenguin]

I realized very late when talking about my MRI stuff that I never really mentioned that I apparently have some spinal fluid leaking which, as far as I can understand, causing pressure on a part of my brain I've never heard of and my optical nerve. It would explain my headaches and general brain fog. I would imagine that, and my collapsed pituitary gland is why my doctor wants to see me. The results also said I might need to have a lumbar puncture to fully see how bad it is. :,)

[asingingpenguin]

I'm home, and Vex wants nothing to do with me. ;v;