Tony tries to make dinner For pepper as a surprise when she comes home
Rhodey remembers when Tony would try to “cook” at mit and blew up the stove, the toaster, and or their dorm room. It got the whole house investigated by homeland security. They thought he was becoming A domestic terrorist because he tries to reheat pizza. Tony defends his choices, saying to look at the benefits of that failure. Rhodey glares at Tony, Those were the exact words that had hs thinking they were “radicals”!
Tony: look on the bright side, we made three different discoveries in nuclear physics and the without the investigation, they never would have found that the place used to be used for evil government experiments. We helped expose treason! No wonder they recruited you!
Tony: you remember the dean’s face, right? He looked ready to faint.
Rhodey: they condemned the whole building! We had to stay in a hotel! They claimed it as “historical property” a crime scene and a news story all at once! They positioned a security squad outside my house for months! They walked my little sister to and from school! They watched her in class the whole time! Do you have any idea what it’s like explaining to your parents that they might be in danger of being assassined by rogue scientists and their psycho lab experiments?!, and that’s why the men in suits infiltrated your mother’s bridge club?! Because it’s not fun!
Tony: I’m pretty sure it was the same for the whole house. It was like a filming for men in black.
Rhodey: and We were watched for the next year by who I’m almost sure was Wolverine.
Tony was legitimately surprised, as if he never connected the dots between their collage stalker and the ill tempered x-man.
Tony: oh, so that’s what that was. I always thought he was an ex boxer with a lot of time on his hands.
Rhodey: where did you get that?
Tony: well, what did you think he was? It was either that or disgruntled gardener. You know, because of the claws. More realistic then thinking he was a 100 year old ex living weapon with a bad attitude and excessive body hair. Come on, tell me that’s what you thought he was.
Rhodey:… fair point, I can’t believe this is a normal conversation for me.
Tony: seriously, what? Black ops? Obsessed fan? Just a normal stalker with unusual knuckles and a drinking problem?
Rhodey: I thought he was a quiet creepy guy who knew where I lived and always broke into an off limy secret mad scientist lab at night! I was worried we were on weapon x’s shit list!
The oven exploded.
Jarvis: pardon me, sir, but Mrs Potts is in the elevator.
Tony: she’s early! Distract her! Tell her the story!
Rhodey: you want me to tell your girlfriend the story of how you almost got expelled and uncovered historical secrets?!
Tony: exactly! What’s not to love?!
Rhodey: that is an extremely long list!
Tony: just keep her busy!
He pushes Rhodey out into the hallway.
Rhodey: why I stay friends with you, I will never know.
Pepper: what’s that smell?
Rhodey: hi pepper.
Pepper walks into what was left of the kitchen.
Tony: pepper! Uh, dinner!
What was supposed to be dinner looked like something out of a bio lab.
Pepper tells Rhodey he can leave.
Rhodey: finally.
Rhodey: you owe me, forever.
After he leaves, pepper asks Jarvis to order from that Thai restaurant.
Jarvis: of course, miss potts.
Tony: what? What’s wrong with this? It’s… juicy!
(That was not juice)
Pepper: please, put that down before it becomes sentient and swears revenge for its tortured existence.
Tony pouts but does so.
