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nooo more messaging open to people i’m not following holy shit. commissioner telling me they’ll kill themselves if they don’t get their drawing, another person sending me stuff with blatant anti-blackness, horrible fatphobia, mocking of mental illness, spam after spam after spam, etc. i know i’m a bad person but you people on this app are genuinely fucking horrible.
i’m starting a collection,
don’t get me wrong i love joking about system experiences but some things are like if we didn’t share a body i would hate them to the point of like. no not even murder because death would be too merciful for them. i’m sorry i do care about them but also fuck these guys. it’s not “friends in your head” disorder it is no joke like annoying roommates or coworkers. it’s not fun. it’s not fun.
“when i was 5 years old—” you’re fucking lying no one remembers being 5 years old. do you remember being fucking born
really cool thing that happened where instead of rejecting the cost of something because i don’t have money in that account it just goes into the negatives instead. Awesome. and rent’s up too which is Double Awesome. Awesome Month
howdy :0) call me jesse. i’m a queer, black, disabled 2D animator and illustrator (she/her, it/its, plural they/them). i want to do animation gigs for indie projects and someday also publish a physical graphic novel to hold in my hands.
this is my main, which is where all my art is, but is also reblog-heavy and text-heavy as it’s treated like a personal blog, sorry. all my art is reblogged into @peppolio for easier viewing if you’re just here for art.
♪ CARRD || INSTAGRAM || BLUESKY ♪
“but wait….there’s more!”
it’s ok. at the end of the month they’re putting magnets in my brain to make me finally become normal
the whole “wanting physical intimacy” thing is really frustrating, not because it’s hard to achieve, but because i do not enjoy socializing in the slightest, which is required. ignoring the role of depression, i actually enjoy being alone and thrive when i’m in solitude (many reasons for this, but can be boiled down to no pressure to “perform”). i don’t want to meet new people or branch out. i like learning about people, but not in a normal two-way street method where you learn about each other in tandem, moreso like a kid learning about a dog from an encyclopedia vs. learning through interaction and play. i won’t lie and say i don’t like my current acquaintances and friendships; of course there are established people i enjoy talking to and care about, but this is a very small amount. unfortunately unless you pay someone for it you have to actually connect with others and be charming and captivate someone in order to solve the issue of being horribly touch starved. like networking for a job. a necessary evil for a social species like humans to function. though part of my problem lies in looking at this in such a clinical way in the first place
