#perfectboi

[changterhune]

Fig. 1 : “The Most Perfect Boi.” #perfectboi #sparkythebeijingretriever #sparkyismydarling #dog #dogs #instadog #instadogs https://www.instagram.com/p/B-UwmdxAmi7/?igshid=9iyhlawixv3f

[and-this-is-water]

I wonder what it’s like to live your life with your spindly, electric fingers always within reach of whatever beautiful thing catches your eye. Your fingertips are slick and graceful as they glide from one thing to the next, never pressing too hard or lingering too softly. They must possess magic, because how else would they attract everything you desire into their palms?

I am sure, then, that I come as a canonball to your comfort. You aren’t used to being challenged, just as you aren’t used to being understood. A history without a past. A connection without an attraction. This isn’t the story you’ve grown used to telling, and I feel you may regret growing tired of that tale.

It scares you. I see that fear rising in your chest as you sharpen your tongue against your chattering teeth, and I see a little boy standing at the edge of the water afraid of falling in. You don’t have to worry, though. I’m not like you. My fingers contain no magic. I am not the kind of water that draws people in; you need not fear my tide. You may stand at the shore’s edge and get lost in my depth if only you allow me to gaze into those eyes that read so familiarly that I may already have a copy on my shelf.

You can say it from your chest: you enjoy my company and your fingers won’t prune. You will not lose your magnetism simply by standing next to me, but I know convincing you is a lost cause. The ocean may assure you it won’t hurt you, but what lurks inside it keeps no promises. Never agrees to not pull you down into the pitch black bits that don’t even recognize themselves. You don’t want to give me that chance.

So, instead, I sit in the passenger seat of your car listening to the heaviness in your lungs strain against your vocal chords. And I know I will never be your favorite girl. You will never drown long enough inside me to shout for a buoy like you do in the seat beside me. But I’ll still be here, reading you like a book and you’ll still fear my ability to do so. I don’t know what to call this game, but I’d like to think of it as a kind of love.

[and-this-is-water]

He leveled me. I let him level me, but I’ll be god damned if I let you do the same. He wanted me to shrink for him and I fucking did, but this space belongs to me now. You will never convince me to sacrifice an inch of myself for the sake of your pride. He hollowed me out to build himself up into the big man he so desperately wanted to be, but I filled up that space he made in me with self-worth and peace. There is nothing in me you can take.

[and-this-is-water]

2. april showers

An ear to your skinny chest as our cold

Feet entangle. A sweet, timid arm wrapped

Around my shoulder. The rain just feels right.

So please just stay with me and hold me tight.

[vichyaddicted]

(via TumbleOn)

[vichyaddicted]

(via TumbleOn)