Applied Hexes
A Perfect Spell story about Chris trying to read a book during recess. Word count: 839 G: Rachel says ‘Bugger’ at one point. Does that even count as a swear word?
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“Oh Chriiiiiiisssss…”
Rachel’s singsong voice made one of Chris’s ears twitch. He glanced up over the top of the book he was reading, raising an eyebrow at her. “Oh, uh, Hi Rachel.”
“Hi!” The smile she was wearing was entirely too wide for Chris’s liking. “Have I told you recently how much of a very good friend you are?”
Chris sighed, pulling his bookmark out from the back of the book and sliding it into place, snapping the book shut and placing it neatly in his lap.
“What do you need?” He tried to sound as put upon as possible.
“What, I can’t just say hi and give you a compliment without wanting something from you?”
Rachel’s theatrical indignation was pretty good. Chris almost believed her, for the four seconds she managed to hold her poker face.
“...The ball went up on the roof again.”
“That sounds like a problem for an adult. With a ladder.”
Rachel rolled her eyes, gesturing at the sky as though beseeching it for strength.
“But we don’t need a-! You could get it off of the roof without even standing up!”
“No I can’t, we’ve been over this. When they let me into the school they made new rules specifically to cover magic stuff. It would be disrespectful to the establishment to break those rules.”
“But it’ll take a teacher like half an hour to go get it, and then break will be over! How am I supposed to crush Spenser and James at handball with no ball?!”
“This is why I don’t play handball with you.”
“Oh stop being such a nerd and float the dang ball down for me, will ya?”
“Still no.” Chris picked his book back up, delicately picking out his previous place. “You’re such a killjoy! What is even the point of reading all these dumb books about magic if you never use it for anything?”
“There’s a time and a place, you know that.”
“The time and the place could be right now! No one has to know!” Rachel cast about, looking for anything she could use as leverage. “I-I’ll give you my sandwich!”
“You already ate it.”
“Tomorrow’s sandwich!”
“No, Rachel. It’s against the rules.”
“Oh… Bugger the rules.” Rachel huffed, stomping over and throwing herself down against the tree Chris was leaning against. “What are you even reading about that’s soooo important, anyway?”
She’d be fine in five minutes. Chris carefully turned the page. “This, is called Applied Hexes. It’s from a little deeper in the curriculum than I’m supposed to be reading at the moment, but I wanted to-”
“Wait, hexes? As in like, not nerdy hippie spells?” Rachel leaned over his shoulder. “Does this have curses? Can you curse Ernest Poole for me and turn his hair green? No wait, hex me and give me cat claws!”
Chris leaned away, attempting to fend her off with one hand as he held onto the book with the other. “R-rachel! I’m not cursing or hexing anyone, we just went over this!”
“Yeah but why are you learning hexes if you don’t wanna hex someone!?”
Chris thought about the little bunch of flowers growing in the garden back home for a fleeting moment.
“It’s… It’s better to know, just in case I need them.”
“Just in… W-wait, so you’re saying that you would hex someone?”
“I mean… If I… Had to, I guess? Like, in an emergency.”
“So… It’s not that you won’t do magic. So if some kind of like, crazy axe murderer broke into the school, you’d be like, pow!”
Chris squinted worriedly at Rachel’s finger-gun. He suspected that she’d aimed at Ernest.
“I suppose I would have to.”
“Even though you’re not allowed to do magic at school.”
“...Yes?”
Rachel clapped her hands together, rubbing them. “I knew it. You just need a good enough reason to break the rules.”
“Oh it’s not like that!”
“But it is! You just admitted you’d hex someone if you had to, on school grounds! That is definitely against the rules!”
“There’s no provision in the rules for axe murderers!”
“Duh! And you know what that means?” Rachel leant even closer. At this point, she nearly had Chris pinned against the tree. “It means that sometimes you have to make your own rules!”
“Uhhhhh-”
Rachel looked entirely too delighted as she stared at Chris with an unusual fervor.
“You’re just like me…” She whispered.
“UHHH-”
“The rules are just here to keep us in line, Chris. But you and me, we know that sometimes, you gotta break ‘em!” She rolled up back along the tree, putting her arm around Chris’s shoulder. She put her hand up, framing the roof of the school building with it. “That’s why you’re gonna get the ball down, and that’s why I’m not gonna tell on you for reading a dangerous book about offensive spells that’s not part of your magical training yet.”
Chris blinked.
“Wait, are you blackmailing me?”
“I dunno. You gonna bend the rules and get the ball down?”











