Dec 4, 2025
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one thing that bothers me so much is how much one unhealthy friendship can fuck you up and no one wants to really acknowledge it
sure everyone's talking about bad romantic relationships and all, but i think it's infinitely worse to put all your trust into a friend who lied to you from the get go
only for that tower of lies to come crashing down on them and for you to find out the truth
and ofc for you to walk out of that with endless self doubts that you can't shake, not even years after you went no contact.
#random#don't mind this i've been going without my meds for too long and had#counseling today so i feel a little raw#(on the flipside i got my prescriptions refilled today yay)#anyway that irl friends post made me think of this#because i know more trans women irl not because i don't gravitate towards trans men but because#very rural etc#so friendships with trans men are pretty much an ~online~ deal for me#and there happens to be one that was in hindsight so unhealthy it's not even funny#and try navigating your way through your own struggles with your gender while you have said “friend”#telling you what you can and can't do in your writing and how bodies are meant to look like and not and often#projecting really hard onto stuff that you wrote for yourself and then losing it when you do something they didn't like#do you know how many versions of my work out there have been whittled down because i really valued the opinion of the wrong#person?#there's still times where i pick up my pen or open libreoffice because i have a clear vision#but then i put it away because i can't really shake off the things the person said#like god does it suck ass#i feel like i defanged myself ages ago#and now i can't really examine that further because i'm running from appointment to appointment and pouring hours into my job and#the studying and the whole trying to keep my family above water#and then when i have free time i get nothing done coz i'm just there beating myself up over what i WANT to actually#be doing. brother what is this.#yk yk it sucks. and you want to do something about it but there will be no easy fix. like you can't just pep talk yourself outta that#it's so infuriating. wish there was more talk about friendships that broke something in you when they ended
