I am very behind in properly documenting the films I watched lately. Don't worry, I have everything written down on my phone already, just want to write it down all pretty

seen from Malaysia
seen from Spain

seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia

seen from Australia

seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia
seen from China

seen from Malaysia
seen from Hong Kong SAR China

seen from Malaysia
seen from China

seen from Australia

seen from Malaysia

seen from Australia

seen from Malaysia
seen from China

seen from United Arab Emirates
seen from China
seen from Australia
I am very behind in properly documenting the films I watched lately. Don't worry, I have everything written down on my phone already, just want to write it down all pretty
my biggest regret in life is dropping out of high school before i came out bc now all my old classmates will live their life thinking i was straight and if thats not a nightmare....
I literally did 2 years of therapy and learned SO MUCH about myself, and it helped a LOT in different subjects, and I will still continue group therapy for the next two years and all, but
RELATIONSHIPS ARE SO PUZZLING TO ME
How do you know you do not feel friendship but your feelings are instead romantic?
How do you know you feel sexual attraction?
How can you be attracted to more than one person? (I'm stuggling with trying to figure out if I'm attracted to ONE) Like, you are in a relationship, and you find that you're attracted to someone else - how is that possible?
Obviously, I know that for the majority of people this is natural and also kind of unexplanaible, so these were just rhetorical questions, but at this point I'm not adverse to getting some answers, experiences or anything, so please feel free!
For me, trying to "get" what is romantic but most of all, sexual attraction is standing in front of a fog and reaching into it, not knowing what am I searching for and what I will eventually find will be the one I was searching for or something completely different.
I'm afraid of hurting someone's feelings, because I am unsure of mine, and if they had feelings for me, and I finally realize I'm not attracted to them, they might feel like I was playing with them, or something.
But according to my therapist there are at least 5 things (she tells me most people only have 1 or 2 of these), which are telling me "No" when I try to get romantically/sensually close to someone.
1) my sexual trauma
2) my parents' cold relationship, so no healthy pattern to follow in my own relationships
3) practically no communication in my family which makes it extra hard to communicate my feelings
4) my reaction to stress or perceived danger is AVOIDANCE at all costs, so I'm inclined to avoid everything which is scary even if it is safe...
5) my low self-esteem (body wise, and femininity/desirability wise)
And my therapist said that these are maybe not even conscious things, and my body and thoughts decided what to "feel" even before I could do something, so I can't really trust my OWN THOUGHTS and feelings on this... and this makes me feel miserable because then how should I trust my mind telling me no, when I at the same time want to progress and have a family of my own, or even one person who I'm together with and we love each other in some way, but deeply and trust each other completely, and are able to accept each others changes throughout life and everything...
I need to practice, I know but this is probably the hardest thing I have done. Ever. And I know that in other fields this worked but what if it's not working here??
Anyway sorry for my rambling.
I will get out of this low in a while, I know, it just sucks to be in it.
Dog pics cuz it was nice out today !
I somehow continue to have the luck of getting stuck with my manipulative and emotionally, mentally and verbally abusive ex-roommate 🙃
Watched Lucy Hale celebrate the new years in new orleans with my dad.
for some reason we were sitting there just watching it.
I can’t believe its 2018.
Never Have I Ever... /2
Reblog as an ask meme or play at parties :)
For more info: NHIE /1 with rules and game ideas :)
Never have I ever...
Had someone cheat on their s.o. with me
Snooped through a friend's bathroom/bedroom without them knowing
Been home alone for more than one week
Randomly met a friend in another city
Had a movie marathon
Masturbated more than twice in one day
Thrown up at a friend's house
Lied about being or not being a virgin
Kissed someone whose name I didn't know
Seen somebody's boobs
Coloured my hair
Seen someone's dick
Grinded in a club
Gotten a boner at a family meeting
Had sex with a guy
Seen someone's vagina
Had sex with a nonbinary person
Frenched someone with a tongue piecing
Painted my nails
Had sex with a girl
Been in handcuffs
Slept naked
Been on TV
Grabbed someone's boobs
Done petting
Made out with a friend just for fun
Flipped off a teacher or superior
Had someone put a hand under my shirt in a club
Shoplifted
Taken part in a talent show
Accidentally bitten someone's tongue while making out
Been thrown up on
Had sex drunk
Fallen asleep watching erotic content
Fallen in love at first sight
Had a Harry Potter movie marathon
Had unprotected sex
Not noticed I was on a date
Been in a club underage
Watched an entire season of a TV show in one day
Had sex on a moving object
Done the ice bucket challenge
Made out with a stranger in a club
Not been let into a club
Had a crush on two people who were together
Been in the same room as people having sex (while not involved)
Kissed a drag queen
Stepped in dog poo barefoot
Had a crush on a mutual (irl: on another player)
Sent nudes of someone else
Thrown up from alcohol poisoning
Been arrested
Had sex in a bathroom
Been friends with benefits with someone
Had sex with someone in a (semi-) public place
Been caught by my parents during a sexual act
Shot a gun
Masturbated with someone else in the room
Thrown a house party
Lied about a family member dying to get away from someone
Been to a strip clun
Had sex with someone with a penis
Been inside a casino
Screwed around in an elevator
Gone skinny dipping
Made out with someone in a toilet stall
Called someone the wrong name during sex
Endured an entire Hobbit + LotR extended edition movie marathon
Bought someone a drink just to have sex with them
Had someone masturbate in the same room as me
Been with someone with a foot fetish
Walked in on my parents having sex
Sent nude picture(s) of myself
Roleplayed during sex
Had sex in the wilderness
Pressured someone into getting a tattoo or piercing
Been inside an adult store
Filed a restraining order
Lost my virginity while drunk
Lost my virginity in a place other than a bedroom
Joined mile high club
Woken up in a strange place without remembering how I got there
Had sex with a friend's family member
Made out with someone for more than 1h
Been in an open relationship
Done body shots
Desperately wanted someone to fuck me
Had unprotected sex at a one-night stand
Passed out due to alcohol
Been pregnant
Had sex with a junkie
Used a vodka tampon
Cheated on someone
Recorded myself having sex with someone
Had sex in a club
Feel free to add more!
Never Have I Ever... /3
Ask me things, reblog as an ask meme, or play with your friends :)
Never have I ever...
Talked to myself out loud in public
Fantasised about a teacher/professor/older superior
Watched the same movie in cinema more than twice
Been on an international plane without anyone I know
Failed an exam more than once
Been in love with someone
Dined and dashed
Had a near-death experience
Hugged a celebrity
Been caught cheating on a test
Stolen something from a roommate/flatmate
Sent dirty text messages
Been cheated on
Had a homophobic family member
Caught someone else cheating on their significant other
Been to a festival
Had phone sex
Been in a car with more people in it than legally allowed
Snorted a non-drug
Owned a copy of the Kamasutra
Pretended to be in love with someone
Had drunk sex
Been on a dating site
French-kissed someone while crying
Gone to an event without paying the entry fee
Bitten someone's nipple
Had sex with someone of the same gender
Made out with someone in school/uni
Outed myself to my parents
Had my head get stuck in a bus/tram door
Travelled to another country for a date
Had sex without foreplay
Driven a car with more people in it than legally allowed
Slept in the same bed as a stranger without! having sex
Been in a relationship with a teacher/professor/older superior
Had two or more fingers inside someone's body
Been to an all girl/ all guy club night
Had sex during the day
Been to a drag show
Had a stranger ask me to get in bed with them
Been to a baby shower
Slept with someone with a 5+ years age difference
Had sex in a gym
Been outed to someone else by a family member
Had sex with the lights off
Bought a shades of grey themed sex toy
Been in a straight pretend relationship
Had sex sober
Watched others during sex
Had three fingers or more inside someone's vagina
Had sex with someone with a circumcised penis
Done something stupid in order to be able to keep listening in on a conversation
Had sex on the first date
Used sex toys with someone else
Had sex with the lights on
Lied to my partner about something important
Had sex while my grandparents were in the same building
Masturbated somewhere other than my home
Had sex at a friend's house
Fallen in love with a friend
Had sex with someone of a different gender
Done bondage
Driven faster than 200kmh/125mph
Had sex with a minor
Googled how to: gay/lesbian sex
Fucked a guy and a girl on the same day
Had sex with someone twice my age
Been handcuffed to a bed
Gotten someone pregnant
Destroyed a bed during sex
Had sex in a church/ other religious place
Introduced my parents to my partner
Waited in front of the loo waiting for my crush to come out
Been to jail
Kissed someone while one of us was driving a car
Had sex with a (former) teacher/professor
Used a shades of grey themed sex toy
Had a one-night stand with a complete stranger
Been proposed to
Enjoyed pain during sex
Severely injured myself during sex
Went to a bar/club just to get laid and succeeded
Inherited something
Proposed to someone
Used sb else's sex toys
Fucked someone without kissing them
Found sex toys of a family member
Been to a swinger club/party
Done hard drugs
Fucked someone I met at a funeral
Been caught cheating on my partner
Had sex with several people during five hours or less (not a threesome etc)
Been part of an orgy
Fucked someone I met at a wedding
NHIE/1 with rules etc
NHIE/2