Aug 22, 2016
It turns out family are the ones that let you down the most
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Serbia
seen from United States
seen from Belgium
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Yemen
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
It turns out family are the ones that let you down the most
someone kill me before I kill myself
GOODBYE MCAT
Time to leave this fucking place with your shitface.
I'm just so tired. I'm tired of living here. I'm tired of living. Everything i've ever done in my life has been to please my father or to even try to please him. It's never been enough and I know i shouldn't care about his opinion. Not with the way he treats me. Not with the way he talks to me. Not with the way he even looks at me. But i can't help it. My psychiatrist and psychologist said I need to just ignore him, ignore what he says and does but its not that easy. It's never going to be that easy. I can't. I can't do this anymore. I just want to go away. If I had enough coke on me id overdose but i only have enough to keep me somewhat mellow. I just want this to be over. I want everything to be over. I'm working 2 jobs and going to a super difficult university full time and thats not enough because I'm not skinny or pretty or smart enough for him. I'm not out late at night, i listen to their rules and for what? I still get yelled at and hit and why? "Because I'm piece of shit daughter. "
I officially give up, this is stupid. Whatever.
-.-
I would just like to acknowledge that I am beyond fucking tired, of myself. I’m sick of being “in love” with you. You’re toxic. You’re like liquor down my throat, warm and inviting, enticing me to continue with your promises. Oh. I just fucking love it too. I drown myself with you. One, 7 sips, or twenty- fucking -two. Worst part is, I let you do this. I let myself be hurt by you. IM THE ISSUE. I LET IT HAPPEN. Fuck you for knowing it killed me but thinking you were helping. Fuck you for never asking how I was or checking in. Fuck you for every hour I sat alone waiting for a reply. Fuck you for knowing it was me, your best fucking friend of 9 years, and your girlfriend, and still ignoring me. Fuck you for becoming everything you hate. Fuck you for not treating me as great as your junkie exes. Fuck you for questioning my worries. I knew I wouldnt be enough. I never was.
do you think i'm dumb or something? I always find out. the fact that you even denied it when I saw you do it. I'm just so done. YOU ARE CUT!