5 Steps to finding your core values
In honor of the Founding Fathers and the signing of the Declaration of Independence this coaching tip is how to find your core values. They valued life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Why does it matter? Well, because your values are your North Star, your personal internal compass to how you live. Yet few of us can articulate them.
Mine? Truth. Courage. Love.
Here are 5 steps to determining yours
1. No preconceived notions
Take a deep breath and empty your mind. Remember that your conscious mind doesn’t have all the answers. Create a space for new insights to emerge.
2. Create a draft list of personal values
Values aren’t selected; we discover and reveal them. If you start with a list, your conscious mind will test which values appear “better” than others. To help you uncover your own personal core values, here are four areas to brainstorm from:
Consider a meaningful moment—a peak experience that stands out.
What was happening to you?
What values were you honoring at this time?
Now, go in the opposite direction; consider a time when you got angry, frustrated, or upset.
What was going on? What were you feeling? Now flip those feelings around.
What value is being suppressed?
What’s most important in your life?
Beyond your basic human needs, what must you have in your life to experience fulfillment?
Creative self-expression?
A strong level of health and vitality?
A sense of excitement and adventure?
Surrounded by beauty? Always learning?
What are the personal values you must honor or a part of you withers?
Combining all the answers from step 2, you now have a master list of personal values. Maybe there are between 20 and 40 values on your list. That’s too many to be actionable. Your next step is to group these values under related themes. Values like accountability, responsibility, and timeliness are all related. Values like learning, growth, and development relate to each other. Connection, belonging, and intimacy are related too. Group them together.
4. Find and highlight the central theme of each group
If you have a group of values that include honesty, transparency, integrity, candor, directness, and truth, select a word that best represents the group. For example, integrity might work as a central theme for the values I listed. You can keep the other words in the group in parentheses to give your primary value more context.
5. Determine your top personal core values
Now comes the hardest part. After completing step 4, you still may have a sizable list of values. Here are a few questions to help you whittle your list down:
What values are essential to your life?
What values represent your primary way of being?
What values are essential to supporting your inner self?
How many core values should you end up with? Too few and you won’t capture all the unique dimensions of your being. Too many and you’ll forget them or won’t take advantage of them. The magic range is between 5 and 10.
Rank them in the order of importance. This is often the most challenging part.
You may need to do this step in multiple sittings. After doing one round of ranking put it aside and “sleep on it.” But you’ll finally arrive at a list that feels good.
Now take a good look at this list…how well are you living your values?
I’d love to hear what your values are and how you live them…leave a comment below or email me: coach [at] gerigibbons.com
