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Pray for ya boi because I’m about to try to make a dent on ten months of depression piling, trash, and alcohol bottles in my room.

#personal Skuun #remember when I thought having a room back would make me better? haha #turns out there’s still people piling stuff like trash and when you see that it’s just like…why bother?#but I did it. I went to target and got a really squishy sleeping slowpoke to cheer me on and sit in my chair #(which is accessible if nothing else)#I have trash bags and sprays and just… I’m hoping #the little step would be to reshelve the stack of books by my bed. some of that will be easy #then do laundry and make sure I change my bedding because…some of it has probably been changed maybe twice since then #in my defense it’s not a great place and my mental health is never great at the best of times but #if I can get a little bit of it right maybe…just maybe…#if I can just clear pathways…#if I can just do a little bit without talking to people…#gonna try to avoid buying anything stronger than wine for a while and see if that helps #they did have a non-alcoholic radler so I’m a little excited for that…#do this and water the plants and…maybe…

Text from the brother on vacation with his wife and my parents: “Hey. Mom wants to know if you harvested the pineapple.”

Me: “what. Pineapple. 👁️👁️”

This tiny nugget, apparently.

#personal skuun #I feel like I should point out the reason I didn’t see this little guy is because he was in the back #where all the *very sharp leaves* of the other pineapples we’ve planted made a kind of defensive barrier #the real trouble with this was getting an angle with the clippers to harvest the tiny guy in the first place #barring that *WHAT AM I GOING TO MAKE WITH FRESH PINEAPPLE*#there’s no way my other brother is going to accept this on a pizza even if it would be So Funny

We’re so back.

#personal skuun #tw: food #so basically I’m trying to backform b Dylan hollis’ onion soup bread into a Italian herb and cheese quickbread #which means tweaking the seasoning substitutes to roughly mimic the proportions and salt content of the original #and I’d already modified the original into a One Packet Form becauee my cheddar’s probably sharper than his #so currently this is a ratio of 1 and 1/3 cups spelt/wheat flour and two cups bread flour #mixed with maybe a tablespoon and a half of powdered chicken consumme (which I have instead of bullion #and a ratio of sweet paprika oregano basil and shiitake mushroom powder #if I can pull this off correctly it won’t taste like chicken any more than the original tastes like beef #it should just taste like a more nuanced salt and have umami from the mushroom powder #yesterday’s was decent but like. not up to the level of saltiness I want for the backer to my cucumber/hummus/tapenade sandwich.#I’m guessing sweet pepper might be good on that kind of sandwich too #but IDK. we’re working on it #please note that quick reads have a dense texture even if they take no yeast and come together well #and hollis’ recipe uses two cups of buttermilk—which I have on-hand a lot but some people don’t #also note that for whatever reason white cheddar makes a darker brown crust than yellow.#and the topper crust keeps the loaf from splitting—which quickbreads like to do

Shout out to the absolutely lovely fellow at my favorite Chinese restaurant for this exchange today when I ordered the Ma Po Tofu instead of their curry chicken (which is amazing. They’re directly next to a Jamaican chain restaurant in a Jamaican neighborhood.)

“You like spicy?”

“I do! I love it!”

“Me too, when a dish isn’t spicy it feels like it has no soul.”

“BRO. YES. Nothing more disappointing than a thing claiming it’s spicy and it doesn’t hit.”

“And you want meat?”

That got a pause from me.

“If a person orders ma po tofu and doesn’t want it spicy or with meat what’s left? That’s. That’s…tofu.”

That poor man gave me one of the top most haunted looks I’ve seen in fifteen years of retail:

“You’d be surprised.”

#personal skuun #I thought about it after a nodded like ‘nah. you know what? I believe it. yeah. that #i’m just. sorry man

I’ve been trying to go and see a movie for two weeks now and I’m really really hoping tomorrow’s the day

#personal skuun #it’s pathetic how many times I’ve just had my day so ruined by health or me or things the past few weeks #so I’m going to dress myself for my dream job—which probably involves killing the younglings—and eat Taco Bell and watch movies

At last.

Bestie Picklies.

#personal skuun #they really just thwack that best buddies badge right on the forehead of this poor sea slug

Maybe a platter of uncured salami and two shots of aperitif for breakfast (at noon) will get me through making this god damn soup.

#personal skuun #gotta get some freezer space clear before the holidays hit with the food deals #the Turkey necks are about to get even cheaper you feel me?#but I’m trying to rally strength to do a proper braise and it’s just… a struggle today #I’ve been putting off making lamb necks for almost a month now #and I’m debating if I want to like. save up and just go lentil today so I can do a proper lamb curry later #(since there’s the defrost time—which I’m still not good with since I purchase so little meat that isn’t seafood or liver)#(and then there’s the marinade time in the yogurt with the spices and that can take up to overnight. less if you do a vinegar marinade.)#but this is the hopscotch scheduling week where I’m gonna be all over the place with my shifts #so it’s like…would I rather sit back with a beer and slowly caramelize my miripoix and go with a porcini stock?#nice to have a day off to overthink the slow comforts and all I guess #I kinda want to make bread too ugh #the problem is I love lamb SO MUCH but it’s never cheap here #so now this is like a once a year type treat and I want to go all out for myself #but I know I also need to make a small enough batch so it doesn’t go bad and like #I still have chicken feet for making stock so I couod also just… just #veg out. you know?#and I’ve got some kabocha too so it’s like ‘risotto?????’#it’s weird being in a place that doesn’t get proper autumn because there’s like no real abundance but you do get like. very very seasonal #produce that just shows up for all of two weeks out of the year #and it’s like ‘do I want to capitalize on that?????’#pears and apples are so shortly good here because they’re all imported in #but then there are so many fall recipes that rely on them for flavor and fragrance so it’s like /flailing

Cooked soup with no plans today. I so rarely cook meat I forgot I thawed two bone-in chicken thighs from the freezer because…usually the meats in my freezer are seafood and liver and nothing else. So so stupidly started my stock with beef broth instead and backtracked later like “you know what? It’s fine. The bones will do their work.”

No caramelizing. No braise. Just dumping things into a pot and taking big sniffs to see if I was happy with it.

At the very end I added Perilla Oil.

It’s. impossible to explain perilla oil’s flavor without a frame of reference. So it tastes a bit like the seaweed used to when my dad used to blend nori up and add it to our barley soups growing up. It’s got that bitter dark greenness to it.

It’s not a recipe. It’s not even something I’d make again because it’s scraps. But seeing how the perilla oil worked in the soup was…very nice. Felt like a shortcut.

I may have wasted all my days off on sleep and frivolous things but… at least I learned a little bit about what I want to use for flavor depth in the future and how, and I have a few new dried ingredients to play with if I want to plan ahead (dried thistle and radish greens) and I know that thyme and marjoram work nicely with the perilla to kind of brighten it out of its depth…

#personal skuun

#personal skuun

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