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the things

I am thinking about getting my doctorate(no idea in what though). I want a doggo(But only when I make some time management adjustments). I have taught myself how to read sheet music(still practicing, but I can do it). I have completely cut out red meat from my diet(chicken and fish are dumb hard to give up though). The entire basement is being remodeled into actual living space, and even with the hiccups that have popped up, it is costing less than expected. Juggling a full time job, a full time small business, and a part-time gig is getting a little easier..(I think..?) The routine of yoga and meditation is sticking and becoming effective in regards to my physical/mental development. I have finally been making the time to try and read a book a month. Ideally, somehow, it would be a book a week. I am considering investing in a tablet and exploring e-books to make this easier and more time efficient. I was able to cook an entire Thanksgiving dinner by myself this year! Turkey included. Granted, it was only for three people, myself included, so it was not that much food, but I really do cherish these more intimate gatherings as opposed to huge familial dinners. It was nice to get into that cooking zone.

Still agonizing over the pain I have caused someone, and still thinking about them daily, months later, for the most part. Repentance, and a desire to actually.. do... something about it, for them, is yet still an impossibly heavy weight. The idea of letting it go, outside of being easier said than done for a mind that obsesses over my every misstep and deed, seems dismissive of the negative effects of my actions, and the real loss of someone dear.

#PersonalPie

Weirdo

*Wakes up randomly*

*Thinks: Dang, I really miss this person being my friend*

*Makes post about it and goes back to sleep*

#personalpie

:ok_hand:

I don’t really have much to vent or complain about these days.

There’s been the occasional Sad Day™, but those are remarkably few and far between, not to mention easily alleviated by taking a day to recharge.

Otherwise, life has been super swell.

#PersonalPie

There are a lot of highly educated, very intelligent, young, black professionals, who are going to take longer to get positions that are truly worth their education and knowledge as opposed to their white peers, and it has nothing to do with racism or bias, but because these young black people lack professional etiquette, or the mentors to teach them what that is, or why you should do it(or what not to do).

The way many cover letters are written(all I, Me, Myself, and what the job can do for Me and My life, with no mention at all on how you/your skills/your knowledge/your interests will be an asset to the job and the person seeking to hire you). The way that people don’t think, or know that you are supposed to respond to a rejection email, especially if it is sent personally and directly, and not just as an automatic email. That you are supposed to send a ‘thank you for meeting with me’ if it comes after an interview, regardless of whether it was an automatic email rejection or not.

Why? Because while I may not have picked you for this position, you don’t know what other positions I might have, or know that are available, or which might become available shortly in the future, that I feel might better fit you. Or maybe the person I did pick falls through(life emergency, better offer from somewhere else, they died, whatever), and you could have been a close second, but because I did not hear from you, and instead from the third person I rejected, I chose them instead. All of these things happen on the regular.

Meanwhile... Nearly all the white applicants: “thank you for meeting with me, do you have any feedback on how I interviewed/how I can do better/what experience you felt I was missing?” Or something similar. It is a very glaring disparity I have noticed.

Those applicants who do these things, they get more attention. They get more consideration. They get remembered beyond the interview. But, you don’t, when you could have, because you dropped off the face of the earth because you do not understand how the game is played.

#PersonalPie