#peter bromilow

[letterboxd-loggd]

The Railway Children (1970) Lionel Jeffries

October 1st 2022

[brokehorrorfan]

Blu-ray Review: Hard Ticket to Hawaii

After launching the Triple B (that's "Bullets, Bombs, and Babes") film series with 1985's Malibu Express, writer-director Andy Sidaris quickly followed it up with Hard Ticket to Hawaii in 1987. It serves as a quasi-sequel to Malibu Express, as Hard Ticket's male lead, Rowdy Abilene (Ronn Moss, The Bold and the Beautiful), is established as the brother of Cody Abilene, played by Darby Hinton in Malibu Express. Yet Malibu Express also exists as a movie within Hard Ticket's universe, so the relation is muddled.

Nevertheless, Sidaris shows a marked improvement as a filmmaker and storyteller. Hard Ticket to Hawaii showcases higher production value, tighter pacing, and a more straightforward plot, yet the affinity for the female form is unwavering. It's loaded with just as much, if not more, B-movie cheese as Malibu Express, but it's considerably more enjoyable to see woman kicking ass rather than just showing it (although the male gaze remains in full effect).

Set on the remote Hawaiian island of Molokai, Donna and Taryn (Playboy Playmates Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, respectively) intercept a precious diamond payoff meant for a local drug lord (Rodrigo Obregón, Collateral Damage), setting the stage for an all-out war between the drug enforcement operatives and the drug cartel. The aforementioned Rowdy shows up as a bazooka-toting special agent, doubling as Donna's love interest and eye candy for the ladies.

The plot plays out like a sleazy, low-budget James Bond film in which the Bond girls lead the charge. British character actor Peter Bromilow (Highlander II: The Quickening) even does his best Bond villain impression as Mr. Chang. Speir and Carlton aren't the only Playmates strutting their stuff; they're joined by Cynthia Brimhall and Patty Duffek. The cast also features Wolf Larson (L.A. Heat) and a "special appearance" (per the opening credits) by Kwan Hi Lim (Magnum, P.I.).

Hard Ticket to Hawaii has been newly restored in 4K for a Blu-ray release via Mill Creek Entertainment. Clear and bright yet filmic, the transfer fairs significantly better than that of Malibu Express. Extras from an earlier DVD release are ported over, including a short introduction by Sidaris, an audio commentary by Sidaris and wife/producer Arlene Sidaris, who have a cute rapport as they discuss the production, and a 37-minute featurette that curiously focuses almost entirely on other works by Sidaris, plus trailers for various Sidaris films.

If you're interested in digging into Sidaris' filmography, Hard Ticket to Hawaii is the highlight, as it epitomizes his "Bullets, Bombs, and Babes" model. Along with the usual gratuitous nudity, the increased budget allows Sidaris to indulge in over-the-top action and violence, like a man and his blow-up doll being hit by a car and then shot with a bazooka while still airborne. Among the other carnage is a cancer-injected snake and the most ridiculous frisbee game ever committed to celluloid.

Hard Ticket to Hawaii will be released on Blu-ray on April 16 via Mill Creek Entertainment.

[stillsmybeatingheart]