#pframbles

[pardonfuck]

okay, so what if jade was really fat right? like 5'11 and 600lbs of pure fat, and what if dave was 5'9

he would be at the perfect height for being squished by her big fat boobs when they hug

if her gut wasn't in the way

[pardonfuck]

jade but she grows blueberries for fun and accidentally makes her friends into berries because of radiation or something

[pardonfuck]

okay okay i know my posts are a little wild but hear me out on this one

jade

but her boobs are like 100lbs each

perfect proportions right?

[pardonfuck]

troll who thinks that she gets strange looks from humans because of her horns

entirely unaware it's because of her belly that's the size of a small weather balloon

[pardonfuck]

so obviously i talk about jade a lot and honestly there isnt anything wrong with that so im gonna keep doing that, however.

roxy is literally perfect for any expansion related prompt because she fits in anywhere

beach? she's good. business meeting? its a little strange but she's a scientist so she could conceivably be there. middle of an alien planet drinking wine with an alien queen who wants nothing more than to be nice and plump for her people? a little specific but i mean yeah sure why not its homestuck

shes just perfect for any prompt, perma-drunk, void power having hottie

[pardonfuck]

jade attempts to be a selfless hero by "defeating" all of the "evil" crocker food products

nobody is surprised when she hits 500 pounds of bubbly cute blubber

[pardonfuck]

i know ive made it clear that i love jade because i mean i do

shes great, cute smile, fun personality, space powers that she can use to make herself and her assets as big as she wants, selfless heroine

so yeah you can say i love jade shes wonderful

[pardonfuck]

you know what, there just isn't enough talk about HIC using all of her powers to just fatten up everyone and make everyone happy so they can all just chill out and be gluttons together instead of fighting over universe dominance or whatever