[Deep Inhale]
WYNNCRAFT HYPERFIXATION IS BACK
OBLIGATORY INCORRECT QUOTES
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Key:
Castor (Archer); He/Him
Pheobe (Mage); She/Her
Andras (Shaman); He/They
Ichor (Warrior); She/Her
Nom De Guerre (Assassin): They/Them
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Castor: One time I went to hand Pheobe a bowl of soup. I wanted to say “Careful, it’s hot!” and “Here’s your soup!”,,, so instead I blurted out- “Careful it’s soup!”
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Ichor: Hostage or not, sometimes it’s nice being held.
Castor: Are you okay-
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Nom De Guerre: I am a ninja.
Ichor: No, you’re not.
Nom De Guerre: Did you see me do that?
Ichor: ...Do what?
Nom De Guerre: Exactly.
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Pheobe: Do you want some tea?
Andras: Oh, what are the options?
Pheobe: Yes or no. :>
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Andras: My expectations are low, but they can always go lower.
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Andras: I am darkness. I am power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than imaginable. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-
Pheobe: A doll!
Nom De Guerre: A cinnamon roll <3
Ichor: Sweetheart.
Andras: . . .
Andras: stop it.
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Pheobe: Hey! Can you do me a favor?
Nom De Guerre: oh- Sorry, I have to go do literally anything other than this.
Pheobe: You- don’t even have a legitimate reason?
Nom De Guerre: Oh! No- I do!
Pheobe: Well,,, what is it?
Nom De Guerre: You see, I simply don’t give a fk.
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Ichor: I... don’t wanna- talk about it-
Andras: -Good, I don’t want to hear about it.
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Nom De Guerre: It’s not that I don’t trust Castor, it's just- don’t trust his impulse control...
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Ichor: I... think I need a hug...
Castor: -Good thing I'm hug shaped! :D
*45 minutes later*
Ichor: You... you can let go now.
Castor: No, I absolutely cannot.
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Nom De Guerre: Good news! I didn’t screw up! :D
Ichor: . . .
Nom De Guerre: I screwed up less badly than usual!
Ichor: . . .
Nom De Guerre: I screwed up with less immediate consequences than usual!
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Pheobe: ...What is it called when you kill a friend?
Andras: Oh, homicide.
Ichor: ...Murder?
Nom De Guerre: Homiecide!
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Andras: Sooo, what's it like living with Castor?
Ichor: He once referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter."
Andras: . . . wh-
Ichor: I love him so much.
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Nom De Guerre: Would you rather kill Pheobe, or-
Andras: -Yes, kill her.
Nom De Guerre: I- didn’t say the other-
Andras: -Don’t need to hear it.
Pheobe: …I’m feeling a little unsafe-
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Nom De Guerre: There’s no “I” in team, true, but there is one in pizza!
Castor: So you’re not gonna share?
Nom De Guerre: Yeah. I’m not going to share.
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Castor: ...I've never encountered a problem that can't be solved by an spontaneous musical number-
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Pheobe: Ichor... Why did you draw,,, a pentagram on the floor?
Ichor: Your note told me to satanize the house before you arrived! :D
Pheobe: . . .
Pheobe: I wrote sanitize, Ichor-
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Nom De Guerre: Yeah, I’m a false prophet, but you believed me, so whose fault is it really that we’re in this mess?
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Ichor: When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart I think it’s so romantic. Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.
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Ichor: ...If you put a milkshake in one yard... and crack open a cold one in another yard... which yard would the boys go to?
Nom De Guerre: Schrödinger's boys!-
Pheobe: FK!-
Castor: OH! What about cracking open a cold milkshake?? :D
Andras: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do.
Andras: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.
Ichor: . . .
Nom De Guerre: . . .
Pheobe: . . .
Castor: . . .
Andras: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.
