troye and connor - making up kiss (pls i need this)
The anxiety has turned to something more pleasant, maybe anticipation but not quite, a while ago, but Connor can’t shake the nerves completey. Can’t look at Troye yet and not feel the echo of his broken heart. It’s stupid. Absolutely stupid because it’s literally been years. They’ve been on good terms again for a good while. They’ve attempted to go on double dates even, over the time. (All three of those attempts did not go all that well, and Connor doesn’t know why they attempted a second one after the first, but definitely not why they did it a third time after that one. Maybe things really do need to come in threes for people to understand them.)
Still. Troye was, in almost all the ways that count, his first love. His first out love. His first requited love. His first kiss, his first fuck, his first I love you, his first “maybe people do find each other this young”. His first real heartbreak too. And he knows he’s not Troye’s. He doesn’t think he wasn’t important to Troye, not the way the first few months after he’d left had felt, but he can’t help but wonder, now, if Troye feels this too. This lingering apprehension in the way their smiles and gazes and touches are starting to linger again.
Part of Connor thrills under the attention - not just because it’s Troye and he loved him once, but because it’s Troye and he quite likes the man he is now. And it’s always exciting, those butterflies and that question that follows you around. Will this go somewhere? Is this what he’s feeling too? Am I going to let myself fall into this?
But it’s tinged with that again that Connor’s fears tack onto all the questions. Can he let Troye in again? Can he stop being afraid Troye will leave him again?
Only then Troye smiles and Connor’s heart skips a beat and he agrees to brunch. Troye squeezes his shoulder and brushes a kiss to his cheek when he says goodbye and Connor’s belly fills with excited heat and he wonders when Troye will call again. It’s torture, in a way, but sweet torture too. Because Troye always does call again, seems to have accepted that Connor needs this from him for a while longer while he reminds himself of how many years have passed, how different they are.
Not different enough. Or just different enough. Different in ways that mesh together anyway.
Considering that when they gave this a go the first time around Connor was still in the throws of his sexuality crisis, it takes them longer to kiss this time. But when they do… oh. It’s perfect.
Troye is warm, and solid, and sweet. Gentle in the way he holds Connor’s face, gentle in the way he touches their lips together, gentle in the way he lets Connor decide where to take this kiss. Troye’s lips are smooth and practiced against his. Confident. He lets Connor pull him closer and run his hands through Troye’s hair, leans back against the wall at an angle that makes him slough a bit and lets Connor crow against him.
They kiss until the automatic light above Connor’s front door switches off again, turning the darkness behind Connor’s eyelids a few shades darker.
He blinks agains the light when it comes back on as he pulls away.
Troye smiles at him, trails a hand down Connor’s arm and holds onto his hand. Connor smiles back.
“Thank you for the date. I had a lovely time,” he says.
Troye’s smile widens. “Me too. I’d love to do it again.”
Connor nods, still smiling, then leans in to gently peck Troye on the mouth again.
“Good night,” Troye answers, straightening up and watching Connor unlock the door to his home.
Connor makes himself not look back as he slips inside, the door falling shut with a final-sounding click behind him. He bends down to undo his shoelaces and toes off his shoes, phone ding-ing with a message.
from: TroyeSleep tight. ❤