#philkas week

[ieyewitnesslukasandphilip]

Our Love Grew

Type: One Shot | Imagine About Phillip And Lukas P.O.V: Phillip Rating: Rated PG Word Count: 2,518 Day 3: Alternate Universe Enjoy! I never thought our relationship would get so serious. I mean of course I wanted to be with him but falling in love was something different. I guess I wasn't expecting to fall so quickly but somehow he stole my heart. He was my only friend when I moved to this town. After all these things going wrong plus he didn't want to tell everything. I was surprised that our relationship actually made it. He finally came out to his family and friends our senior year. That was over a year ago and we were still going strong. I found a job and got my own apartment and of course Lukas moved in with me. I turned over laying my head against his chest as he wrapped his arm around me. He pressed his lips against my forehead as we both woke up. "Morning" I groaned. "Morning babe" he held me close. "Someone is happy" I looked at him. "Because I get to wake up with you every morning" he smiled down at me. "That's a plus" I bite my lip slightly. "Yeah​" he shifted in the bed, leaning towards me. Placing his lip against mine as I smiled into the kiss, resting my hand on his chest. "Have you thought of what we talked about last night?" I asked as I rested my forehead against his. "Do you think it would actually work out?" he asked. "You will never know until we try" I looked at him. "Its something we both want so we can try" he nodded. "I have an appointment today to talk and see our options" I sat up in the bed. I got up from the bed going to the closet. I heard him get out of the bed, he made his way behind me. Wrapping his arms around me, resting his against my shoulder. I lean back against him as I loved being in his arms. He tighten his grip around me, pressing his lips against my cheek. "I love you" he whispered into my ear. "I love you Lukas" I said. I slightly pulled away as I pulled a shirt down from the hanger. He let me go as he went to the bathroom. I finished getting dressed as he came out of the bathroom. He was fully dressed as well, I smiled as he walked towards me. He grabbed my hand pulling me closer to him, leaning down slightly. Our lips just a breath away as he looked at me, I leaned up slightly. I placed my hand on his cheek as I kept the kiss between us. He smiled against my lips as he slightly pulled away. Lacing his fingers with me as he lead me downstairs. I grabbed my jacket before we left the apartment. I got in the car as he walked around as he got inside the drivers side. "Are you sure?" I looked at him. "This is something we both want" He nodded as he grabbed my hand. He pulled off the driveway as we started to make our way downtown. I looked out my window as I started to think about the future. Lukas and I have been talking about having a baby, somehow we just wanted a child. I found a clinic that would allow men to be pregnant. It was something we both looked into and decided Lukas would carry our child if it was possible. He grabbed my hand as he brushed his thumb against my hand. He could tell that I was nervous, I was scared that I could lose Lukas. There was some risk about doing this, but would it be worth it? "Are you okay​?" he asked as he pulled into the driveway. "Yes, I'm okay​, just scared" I said as I looked at him. "Its okay​, we got each other, everything will be okay​" he leaned towards me kissing me softly. I got out of the car and waited for him to come to my side. Lacing our fingers together as we walked into the building. We got our answers as well as some hormones to start, well Lukas had to start. We knew that it would be a touching thing to do, but it would be worth it in the end. The shots were intense and the pills made him sick, but I tried everything to make him comfortable. "Want a heating pad?" I asked as I sat on the bed. "You think that would help, " he laid back against the pillow. I grabbed the heating pad laying it against his stomach as I got in bed. He laid his head on my shoulder as I held him close. I kept the heating pad in place as he started to fall asleep. I pressed my lips against his forehead before pulling the blaappointment, butWLukas two weeks of the hormones and shots we went back to the doctor. This time was the actual implant. It was a short appointment, but Lukas could possibly be pregnant. It was just a waiting game now to see if it actually implanted. He laid back on the table just trying to relax as much as possible. "Are you hurting?" I took his hand in mine. "Little bit" he nodded. I placed my hand on his stomach as I kissed his cheek. He smiled slightly as he flees, " hand against his stomach. He turned kissing me softly as he placed his hand on my cheek. "This could actually work" he said. "Yeah, " I looked at him. He finally got up from the table, gripping him, but I let him out of the building helping him into the car. I got into the driver seat as he lalayis seat back. I drbed, Is back home down, grabbing to get food before making it back. I helped him inside and up to our room. As he laid back against the bed I went back down grabbing the food and drinks. I finally made my way back upstairs so we could eat lunch together. I allowed him to relax for the next few weeks. I made sure he had everything he needed plus keep the house clean. The doctor did want him to stay in bed as much as possible, and not to test until two weeks after. I went down to the drugstore and tried to find the test. This was all new to me as well, I finally found them but witch one to buy? I grabbed a few before making my way to the counter. I paid for them and stopped to get his favorite soup before making my way back to the apartment. "Phillip?" he asked as he heard me. "Im here babe" I walked into the bedroom. "Where did you go" he groaned. "I had to go to the drugstore, its been two weeks" I sat on the edge of the bed. "Already? Wow guess Ive been sleeping the time away" he sat up slightly. "Its what your body needs, the doctor says its normal" I grabbed his hand. "Thank you for everything" he pulled me to him. I smiled as I leaned down kissing him softly. "I got your favorite soup, lets eat then figure this out" I nodded. "Sounds like a plan" he smiled slightly. I gave him the soup I got for him before sitting down with me. We ate in bed just talking about the future, how our relationship has grown. As soon as we finished I grabbed the bag and took out a test. I read the back of the box trying to figure out how to do this. We both went into the bathroom, I took a test from the box and opened it up. I handed him the test as I looked at him. I moved closer to him leaning up kissing him softly, his hand on the back of my neck. He pushed me against the wall as the kiss started to get intense. I placed my hand on his hips as I kept the kiss between us. He pulled away resting his forehead against mine. "I love you Phillip" he whispered. "I love you Lukas, everything will be ok" I rested my hand on his stomach. "I know because I have you, " he looked at me. "You want me to leave?" I asked. "You have seen everything so no" he nodded as he looked at the test. I hopped up on the sink as he took the test. He placed the cap back over it placing it on the back of the toilet. He moved between my legs, his hands resting on my hips. I placed my hand against his chest as he looked at me. I leaned towards him, allowing our lips to meet. He smiled into the kiss as he pulled me closer to him. I wrapped my legs around him as I moved my hand up to his neck. "How long?" he whispered. "About 5 minutes" I nodded. "Do you think I am?" he asked. "I think so, " I bite my lips. He picked up the test and there were two lines. I looked at the back of the box and realized that it was positive. He was actually pregnant. I smiled as I showed him the box, the smile grew into his face as he realized it was positive. He leaned down towards me kissing me softly but intense. We were going to have a baby, I couldn't believe it actually worked the first time. I called the doctor letting them know we got a positive pregnancy test. Of course they wanted us to come in the next day. Once we went to the doctor it was confirmed that we were expecting a little baby. He was about 5 weeks pregnant and everything seemed fine. Over the next few weeks we started to pick up things for the baby. We were so excited and I could tell Lukas was really happy. We were at the mall just walking around. "What do you think it is?" I asked as I walked with him. "A girl" he nodded as he took my hand. "Maybe we should get an outfit for both sex?" I asked as I looked at the baby clothes. "Yea" he nodded. We looked at some cute outfits and picked a few out. We went down to the food court to get some food. He sat down at a table as I went to get the food. I bought the food back and placed it on the table before sitting next to him. "You ok?" I asked. "Yea just feel sick" he took a deep breath in. "Just breathe" I rubbed his back. It finally passed and we started to eat. I knew we should go home, but of course Lukas wanted to walk around more. I walked hand and hand with him around the mall. We went into a few shops and got him some clothes as well as the baby. He was in the dressing room trying clothes on, I was sitting waiting for him. "Owe" Lukas said. "Baby you ok?" I asked as I walked to the door. "Yeah, fine" He said. "I can tell your not fine babe, let me in" I said. He opened the door allowing me in, he sat down on the bench. I sat down next to him rubbing his back as he rested his head on my shoulder. I could tell he was getting tired and we needed to get back home. I helped him change back into his clothes before we walked to the car. "I think we need to go to the hospital, " he said. "What's wrong?" I asked. "Really bad cramps" he got into the car. I nodded as I rushed into the car. We went straight to the hospital, they rushed him back as I was in the waiting room. I was worried something could be wrong with the baby, but I was more worried about Lukas. I couldn't just sit and wait, I was walking back and forth in the waiting room. Everytime a doctor would come out I would think the worst. It was never for Lukas, I finally sat down resting my head in my hands. I finally saw Lukas came out, I rushed to his side. "Everything ok?" I asked. "Yea, everything is fine" he wrapped his arm around my waist. "The baby?" I asked. "Is fine" he nodded. "Good" I kissed him softly. We finally went back home, I put everything away as he rested on the bed. I finally sat on the bed as I looked at him. I knew this journey would be hard but well worth it. It seemed like the weeks started to fly by as his stomach grew. We found out that we were having a baby girl, of course what he thought. We made arrangements for the c-section the day of his due date. We had the nursery sat up but the crib was in our room, we had all of her clothes cleaned. Towards the end of his pregnancy it started to drag by, it was just a days before we got to meet her. "How you feeling?" I asked as I sat by him. "Tired" he said. "Just a few more days" I rubbed his belly. "Yea I know, we still need to pick a name" He said. "What were you thinking?" I asked. "Isabella?" he asked. "Thats pretty Isabella Marie Waldenbeck" I smiled. "Perfect" he rubbed his belly. Later on that night he started to get contractions. I rushed him to the hospital and they had to do an emergency c-section. I was waiting for him in his recovery room. My heart was racing as my mind was wondering, I wanted both of them to be ok. The nurse finally came in with Isabella laying her in my arms. I smiled as I looked down at her, she was perfect. They finally bought Lukas into the room, he was still asleep. I sat down next to his bed as I held Isabella. "Phillip?" he groaned. "Right next to you baby" I grabbed his hand. "She ok?" he asked. "Right here" I helped him sit up before putting her in his arm. He smiled as he looked down at her. I couldn't believe she was actually here. Our daughter came a few days early then expected, but we were in love with her. I filled out her birth certificate and it was officially she was ours. It took Lukas a few days before we were released. We bought Isabella home and the first few nights were hard. Lukas and I took turns getting up with her. It brought us closer together, I was fully in love with both of them. Our lives got a little crazy, but it was worth it. It was a crazy ride, but I never thought I could love anyone more than I loved Lukas. This little girl stole our hearts and of course had us wrapped around her little finger.

[andromeda---galaxy]

Be That Person

Last day of Philkas week! This is my “anything you want” fill. Rating: E Words: 2134 Prompt: anything you want

Philip has only had two panic attacks since they both almost died, but he can feel another one coming on. Boiling in the pit of his chest, hanging on his every thought, on the way the air moves. Helen and Gabe asked ten times before they left if he was going to be alright and he kept assuring them it’s been three weeks, I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine but he’s not fine, he’s not okay, he’s alone and he feels fucking sick.

 He texts Lukas. Can you come over? He waits, sits there clutching his phone, and the reply comes quicker than he thought it would.

 You okay?

 Philip can’t really convey how not okay he is. He hates how desperate he is for Lukas, even though Lukas has his own shit and Lukas was shot and Lukas went through the same thing as him. I need you he sends.

 Give me 20 minutes. Dad heading to bed and I’ll be right there. Helen and Gabe?

 Out late. Home around one in the morning if Gabe estimated right. Philip sighs, swallowing hard.

 Be there soon, okay? Just hold on.

But he can’t. Philip stares at the way the light hits the walls and feels like he’s falling into a pit. Feels like he’s being dragged into one. Key under the rabbit he texts, and feels like he’s going to throw up.

 He sits there for another moment or so before he gets up, starts pacing around the room. He tries to tell himself it’s over, they made it, they’re alive, they’re okay. But his mom isn’t. His mom is gone. That fucker Ryan Kane took her away. And the world is a little smaller, a little more painful. A lot more painful. Pain that sits in his nerves and startles him, claws at him. He can’t find her voice. He can’t find his own.

 He starts towards the bathroom and nearly knocks the door down getting in there. He grips at his throat and dry heaves a little bit, not even bothering to move towards the toilet, and before he even really decides on what he’s doing he turns the shower on. He’s still wearing his clothes but he doesn’t care, stepping in under the spray and feeling his shirt wilt as it gets wet. He usually hates wet jeans, rolls them up when it’s raining, but he can’t think properly. It’s cold but he doesn’t change it, doesn’t fix it, because he can barely move. He draws his knees up to his chest and the world turns. He closes his eyes.

 It feels like a lifetime later but hands latch onto him, shaking him.

 “Philip,” Lukas says. “Oh my God. What are you doing?”

 Lukas is getting wet too. Philip is trembling, his teeth chattering. “I need—I need to be in here.”

 “It’s cold, you’re too cold,” Lukas says. He reaches into the shower and twists the knobs until the water gets significantly warmer. He straightens up, looking around like there might be some kind of note to explain to him how to deal with this. He’s breathing hard and he puts his hands on his hips, staring down at Philip. “How long have you been in there?”

 “Don’t know,” Philip says, looking away from him.

 “You gonna stay in there?” Lukas asks, his voice going a little high.

 Philip swallows over the tightness in his throat. “I feel…I feel like…” He can’t explain himself, can’t say that he feels safer in here somehow even though he’s only now getting over being cold. He can’t say how any of this makes sense.

 But Lukas strips off his shirt and kicks off his shoes, pulling his pants down and off until he’s only in his boxers. He steps into the shower and pulls the door closed behind him. He stands there for a moment as his hair gets wet, and Philip stares up at him, a little surprised. Lukas kneels down and there’s an easy smile on his face as he reaches out, brushing his thumb across Philip’s cheek. “You wanna have all your clothes on?” he asks, and there’s a cadence to his voice that makes Philip’s stomach twist in knots.

 “Not really,” Philip says. “No. I…I don’t.”

 “Come on,” Lukas says. He holds out his hands and Philip takes them, letting himself be drawn to his feet before he can even really think about it. The water is hitting them at a different angle now and it beads down Lukas’s nose; Philip watches him reach up, pushing his hair out of his face before he’s helping Philip’s shirt over his head, sliding the shower door open a little bit and dropping it outside on the tile. He reaches down and undoes Philip’s button and fly like it’s nothing, and he starts talking.

 “I was reading this article that reminded me of you,” Lukas says, working Philip’s pants over his hips.

 “Yeah?” Philip asks, a little dazed.

 “About this guy who, uh, had a lot of loss in his life. He got into photography and started taking pictures of everything that made him forget, everything that…made him feel like he was living in the moment and not focusing on what hurt him.” He rests his hands on Philip’s hips and Philip steps out of his pants, watching as Lukas picks them up and sends them the way of his shirt, closing the door again. He briefly touches Philip’s chin to make him look up at him. “Maybe...maybe you should do that. Maybe I should…do it with you.”

 Philip smiles at him, moving a little closer. He rests one hand at the base of Lukas’s neck, the other on his shoulder. “Wanna take a picture right now,” he says.

 “I look stupid when I’m wet,” Lukas says, raising one eyebrow.

 “You never look stupid,” Philip says.

 “Lying straight to my face,” Lukas says. Philip shakes his head and Lukas smiles a little bit. “You doing okay?”

 “Almost,” Philip breathes. “Can you just…hold onto me?” he asks.

 “Of course,” Lukas says. He kisses Philip’s forehead softly and pulls him close, Philip resting his head on Lukas’s shoulder. He tries to center himself, tries to focus on Lukas’s fingers trailing up and down his back.

 “You’re not cold anymore, right?” Lukas whispers. Philip shakes his head. Lukas kisses his temple and rubs circles into a spot by his shoulder blade, humming a little bit. “You want me to wash your hair?”

 Philip snorts. “Do you want to wash my hair?”

 “Maybe,” Lukas says.

 The idea of Lukas’s hands in his hair makes him stop shaking, so it feels like the right thing to do. “Yeah, okay.”

 Lukas grins and holds onto his hand when he leans down, grabbing the shampoo bottle. “Hawaiian breeze?”

 “It’s Helen’s,” Philip says, shrugging a little bit. “I ran out of mine, I think she’s getting me more tom—”

 “I use this,” Lukas says, grinning.

 Philip laughs. “Oh. Well. It does smell good.”

 “It does,” Lukas says, popping the bottle open. They move a bit out of the spray of the water, Lukas squeezing some out into his hand. He kneads it into Philip’s hair and lathers it up—he moves meticulously, slowly, and Philip closes his eyes, breathing out, trying to savor this. He hums a little to himself.

 “That feel good?” Lukas asks.

 “Yeah,” Philip breathes

 Lukas rubs it in, taking his time and massaging Philip’s scalp. After a little bit longer he leans him forward, gently washing the shampoo away.

 “There we go,” Lukas says, brushing his thumb over Philip’s cheekbone.

 “That was nice,” Philip says. “Better than I do it myself.”

 “I’m good with my hands,” Lukas says, shrugging a little bit. “You doing any better?”

 “Yeah, I’m—I feel more…here,” Philip says, and he means it. “More present and calm.”

 “Good,” Lukas says. He leans in, bringing their mouths together. Lukas always seems like he pours everything into their kisses but this one is even more intense, one of his hands pressing against Philip’s back and drawing them flush together. Philip tangles his hands in the tendrils of Lukas’s hair and moans into his mouth.

 “You have a very up and down relationship with water,” Lukas whispers against his mouth, nipping at his bottom lip. “This the same kind of thing as the pot in the sink?”

 “Yeah, I guess so,” Philip says. “Like feeling it all around me can wash away everything I’m thinking and feeling.”

 “Am I really helping by being here?” Lukas asks, and there’s an uncertainty in his eyes.

 “Yes,” Philip says. “Absolutely, you are.” He recalls the time where he didn’t think something like this was possible with Lukas. Such intimate closeness, a piece of the world that belongs to them and only them. A place where Lukas wants to be with him, under any circumstances. Lukas pulls him close again and Philip closes his eyes, sighing into Lukas’s skin.

 “I used to hide under the bed when I got scared,” Lukas says, into the curve of Philip’s neck. “Until it got too dusty.”

 “Did you feel safe there?” Philip asks.

 “Yeah,” Lukas says, kissing his shoulder. “But now I feel safe with you.”

 Philip’s brows knit together. “Really?”

 “Yes,” Lukas says definitively. He wraps his arms around Philip tighter and cups the back of his head, his fingers getting caught up in the tangles of his hair. “When did you say Helen and Gabe are gonna be back?”

 Philip’s stomach twists again. “A while.”

 Lukas hums and nods a little bit.

 “I…” Philip breathes. “I need you. I want you.”

 “You wanna get out of our boxers, too?” Lukas asks, a little quietly, leaning back to look at him.

 “Yes,” Philip says fast, kissing him. They both paw at each other’s waistbands, knocking into each other’s arms and laughing softly into each other’s mouths. They don’t bother with depositing their underwear outside the shower and only step closer together, Lukas reaching down and squeezing newly revealed skin. “Jesus,” Philip whispers.

 “I’ll never get tired of getting to see you naked,” Lukas says, nuzzling their noses together. “It’s like a gift every time.”

 “You’re ridiculous,” Philip laughs, but the sound changes abruptly when Lukas reaches down and touches him.

 Lukas leans in, his lips brushing against Philip’s ear. “I’m gonna take care of you,” Lukas whispers, sliding his hand up and down Philip’s length. “All the time,” he whispers. “When you’re sick. When you’re lost. When you want me.”

 Philip moans and fumbles around, taking Lukas’s dick in his own hand and feeling Lukas’s hand stutter. “Always—I always want you,” Philip says.

 “God, baby,” Lukas whispers, trying to kiss him but only crashing their mouths together as he groans. The water is dripping from his hair, off the tip of his nose.

 They touch each other desperately and Philip can hardly believe that Lukas knows just how to make him feel like this, and he tries so hard to focus on what he’s doing too, anxious to make Lukas feel as good as he does. Lukas claws at Philip’s waist with his free hand, trying to bring him closer.

 “Philip,” Lukas says, his Adam’s apple bopping as he swallows hard.

 “Lukas,” Philip answers. He can feel his body tightening and he grips Lukas’s neck, trying to match his pace. He tries not to think about how natural this feels, how it feels like he was made to touch Lukas like this.

 Lukas moans and falls into him a little bit, shaking and trembling as he steals an urgent kiss. “I love you,” he gasps as he comes apart, arching his neck a little bit still keeping his hold. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

 He twists his wrist a little bit and that’s all it takes for Philip to follow him down, his broken moan echoing off the shower walls. They work each other through the rest of it and eventually Lukas pulls Philip against him again, the water washing everything away as they sway on their feet.

 “I love you too,” Philip whispers, kissing Lukas’s neck. “Thank you.”

 “For what? Getting you off?”

 Philip snorts, squeezing his eyes shut tight. “I guess that’s part of it,” he says, leaning back to look at him.

 Lukas grins, water in his eyelashes as he leans forward, pressing a kiss to the corner of Philip’s mouth. “You’re welcome,” he says. “I’m glad I can…do anything, you know? I wanna take care of you, I want to be that person you call when you need someone.”

 “You are,” Philip says.

 “I think we’re gonna be okay,” Lukas whispers, staying close.

 Philip nods, sliding his hands around to rest at the small of Lukas’s back. “I think so too.”

[disasteroracle]

Distance

I'm early, but I don't want to forget this in my Early morning rush tomorrow to get out the door. Philkas day 6- Long distance. I wanted to show Philip being cute and cheering on his boy. ----- Philip watches the T.V. screen holding his breath, his eyes following the bike he knew Lukas was on, absentmindedly biting at his fingernails. “Pull ahead, Just a bit more, Pull ahead Lukas!” He finally yelled at the screen, earning a laugh from both Gabe and Helen. “I thought you weren’t really into Motocross?” Gabe asked passing the popcorn over to Philip. “No, but I’m interested in Lukas and seeing him wi-- Yes!” He nearly dropped the bowl, but instead passed the popcorn over to Helen. Lukas had managed to cut to the inner part of the tracks final curve and cut into First place, winning the race. Philip watched the camera turn to show the Win over in slower feed back, the broadcasters commenting on Lukas’s moves and racing. “He’s really good.” Helen smiles. “Oh look, they’re interviewing him.” All eyes are on the screen. Lukas’s hair sticks up every which way and it’s visible how much he’s sweating from the heat and exertion. “First off, great job on the win Lukas.” The caster smiles and Lukas does to as he thanks him. They awkwardly banter a bit, Philip can see the way Lukas shifts to try and get away. (He hates interviews, he never has anything to say, or so he says) “So Lukas, before we go any special girl you want to give a shout out to?” “No.” Lukas answers quickly, looking down to the ground and shaking his head. Philip wishes he was there to congratulate him in person. “O-Oh, you hear that ladies? He’s sin--” “I’m not, I’m not single either.” Lukas says quickly cutting off the older man. “I have a boyfriend, his name’s Philip.” Lukas answers with a pointed tone and Philip feels his face begin to warm. Lukas just called him his boyfriend on T.V. “I hope you’re watching Babe, this ones for you.” He lifts up the medal with a cocky grin. Philip starts nervously laughing and tries hiding his face in his hands as they cut away to commercial. Helen and Gabe are cooing and awwing at him about his boyfriend when his phone goes off. His smile gives it away before he can scamper from the living room. “Hey! You took first!” “Tell me something I don’t know, I was there.” Lukas says, the sound of the crowd behind him. “Did you see the--” “The interview, yeah, I did. You called me your boyfriend in love television, gotta say that's a step up from the party in Red Hook.” Philip’s smile hurts, he’s so happy. Yet, he can feel himself getting ready to cry. He misses Lukas, but he’s doing so well, he feels selfish when he asks what's on the back of his mind. “So that medal. You going to come home with that soon then?” There’s a pause. “N-not exactly.” Lukas answers. “Since I won this one, I move up and go onto my first National competition.” Philip can hear the broken tone in Lukas’s voice. “I want to see you so bad though. I miss you.” “You’re doing so good though,” Philip give trying to take a breath, “I just...You’re going to kick ass at the next race.” “Philip,” Lukas offers softly, “C’mon, are you really okay, I mean you don’t sound okay. You want me to botch the ne--” “You do that and you’re going to regret it later, please, don’t throw any of these races Lukas, this is your dream. I want you keep going. The distance sucks, but this is what you’ve been waiting for your whole life.” Philip tells him sternly. He opens his mouth ready to say something more when Lukas intervienes. “I love you.” Lukas says it quickly and without hesitation. “I really do.” “I-I love you to Lukas.” Philip replies smiling softly as his blinks back the few stray tears. “I gotta go, we need to get packed up and ready to get on the road,” Lukas whispers. They hang up and Philip tries to recompose himself before going back into the living room. For a moment he’s angry and bitter with Helen for saying he couldn’t go with Lukas. (Since he’s still under eighteen and the state needs to keep tabs on him) However when he sees the hurt look on her face, he says that he’s fine, she’s only trying to do right as his Mother. Long distance was hard, but they were making it work. Every night, they’d figure out the time zones and call each other, while Philip tried counting down the days till he was eighteen. (Which was actually pointless, because Lukas’s season would be over by the time he was officially a legal adult.) --- That next Monday Philip walks through the door and notices a package addressed to him on the kitchen table. He can recognize Lukas’s handwriting quickly and doesn’t hesitate to open it. Inside he finds of course the first place medal. He reads the attached letter, while smiling. “By the time you get this, we’ll be on a plane back for a few days. This time, I’m not leaving without you. Even if I have to sneak you out. -Lukas" Philip laughs and brings the medal upstairs to his room and stands holding in his hands smiling at the polished gold metal. Lightly Philip kisses it before he hangs it around his bedside lamp’s shade.

[bagels-and-seagulls]

all too real

on ao3

Philkas week day 6: long-distance

“Who’s Philip talking to?” Sarah asked Ralph. She just got to their usual table in the dining hall and noticed that Philip was off sitting by himself on the phone.

Ralph looked up from his plate. “His boyfriend,” he replies. Mikala next to him snorted. And Sarah rolled her eyes. “What?” Ralph asked with his mouth full.

“You don’t actually think that this guy exists, right?” Mikala asked with a look that said she thought Ralph was an idiot.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“You believe that Lukas whatever, agriculture student in Michigan, who has the dreamiest eyes and just says the sweetest things is a real person?” Sarah asked. Ralph shrugged. “No one has even seen a picture of this guy.”

“Not to mention that every time Philip talks about him this guy just gets even more random,” Mikala added.

“What do you mean?” Ralph asked right when Philip walked back over.

Sarah raised her eyebrows at Ralph in a ‘watch this’ kind of way. “Was that Lukas?” she asked. Philip nodded with a smile. “Why did he go to Michigan again? I know you told me, but I’ve completely forgotten.”

“Oh, he went out there to train,” Philip replied.

“Train for what?” Mikala added in.

“Motocross.”

“Is he any good?”

Philip shrugged. “Yeah, he went to some national race last year.”

Sarah raised her eye brows again at Ralph in a silent ‘told you’. Ralph rolled his eyes. He didn’t know why these girls didn’t think this Lukas guy was real, but he wasn’t about to think Philip just made up a boyfriend because he seemed a little larger than life. That’s ridiculous.

***

Philip quietly sipped his coffee as Mikala ranted about her history professor. He hummed at the right moments to show her he was listening, but also continued to scan over his art history textbook. The coffee shop was busy this time of year. It was starting to snow out and it was also two weeks from exams. All the college students were trying to inject caffeine into their veins while also staying out of the cold.

“Oh, look,” Mikala interrupted herself. “Max is here.”

Philip tried to suppress his groan. He guessed it didn’t work because Mikala snorted. “Is he looking over here?”

“No. Wait, yes. Shit. I made eye contact. He’s coming over.”

“Mikala,” Philip whined.

She just shrugged. “He’s not that bad.”

“He tries to hit on me every—Hey, Max,” Philip slapped on a fake smile when he looked up at the boy. Max was 20, just like Philip, and he was a chemistry major. They met back in their first year of university when they took American history together for the gen ed credit. He’s tall with dark hair and green eyes, not really Philip’s type, not that it stopped Max at all.

“Hey, guys,” Max replied. He put a hand on Philip’s shoulder. “What are you up to?”

“Mikala was just talking about Stern,” Philip replied with a shrug, hoping it would knock Max’s hand off. It didn’t.

“The history professor? That guy is so sleazy, isn’t he?”

Philip tried to send Mikala a message through eye contact alone, but she wasn’t getting it. Max and her talked about Stern long enough that Max eventually joined their table. He quickly stopped paying attention and went back to looking over his textbook and sipping his coffee.

His phone chirped from inside his pocket, and Mikala watched as he smiled at his phone. “Lukas?” she asked. Philip nodded with that same small smile before he went to typing a reply.

“Who’s Lukas?” Max asked.

“My boyfriend,” Philip responded. And Mikala just raised her eyebrows at Max hoping that he didn’t ask about it. He didn’t. The idea that the boy he’s had a crush on for a year having a boyfriend was apparently enough to shut him up.

***

The party made Philip’s skin crawl. He hated going to frat things, but Sarah was so adamant about getting into a sorority this year, that she tried to drag him to every frat party in the city. He usually could find an excuse, but this time all his excuses fell through for some reason.

He sipped at his beer and immediately made a face because of how disgusting it was. He hated that cheap lite bear.

He wasn’t entirely sure where Sarah was off to, but he knew that Mikala was with her. And they were both a little drunk at this point at the night.

Philip eventually saw them as they were both giggling and dragging some guy over with them. “Philip,” Sarah shrieked in glee. “This is John. Isn’t he just so cute?” Yeah, definitely drunk.

He looked John over slightly. He wasn’t too bad looking. He was Philip’s height with short dark hair and dark eyes. Still not really his type though. What really stood out was that he looked entirely uncomfortable with both of his friends hanging off his arms. “Sure, Sarah. Why don’t you let him go, yeah?”

“Oh-kay,” she sang. “We were just gonna introduce him to you anyways. We’re leaving now.” Sarah grabbed Mikala’s hands and dragged her away with a wink thrown Philip’s way.

“I’m sorry about that. They’re a little out of it right now,” Philip apologized.

“It’s fine. They just wanted to introduce me to their ‘super cute gay friend’,” John responded with a smile.

“Oh god,” Philip groaned in embarrassment. “They didn’t actually say that, did they?”

“Exact words.”

“They are so embarrassing.”

“Hey, if I get to meet a cute guy at the end, can’t be too bad right?” John leaned in closer.

Philip swallowed and took in John’s flirty posture. “I have a boyfriend,” he said suddenly.

John took a step back. “Oh,” he replied with wide eyes. “Sorry, they didn’t mention that.” Philip wondered why.

***

“You guys don’t think my boyfriend is a real person?” Philip asked with a shocked and borderline offended look. “Why would I make that up?” Ralph let the beans spill. Ralph always lets the beans spill.

“It’s not that weird. I make up a boyfriend every time a fuckboy hits on me,” Sarah shrugged.

“Do you also create a detailed backstory for him, too? And claim to have been dating for three fucking years?” Philip rolled his eyes. “I didn’t make him up.”

“Then how come we’ve never met him?” Mikala asked.

“We’ve never even seen a picture of him,” Sarah added.

Philip pulled out his phone and showed them the lock screen. Sarah and Mikala were crowded in close to look at the screen while Ralph didn’t seem to have any interest. The screen was of Philip and a taller boy with blond hair and brown eyes and a wide smile. The other boy was standing behind Philip with his arms hooked around his shoulders, one hand resting on Philip’s sternum. Philip looked like he was in the middle of saying something to the other boy because they were both slightly looking towards each other out of the corners of their eyes.

He unlocked his phone then and pulled up google to type in Lukas Waldenbeck. A few links came up, and Philip picked the first one off of some generic motocross website. A picture of the boy in Philip’s lock screen came up and next to it was a picture of the guy on a motorbike. “Lukas Waldenbeck, 20 year-old national motocross finalist from Tivoli, New York. Currently training in Lancaster, Michigan with Michael Smith, national champion from 1998 and 2001,” Philip read off his phone. “He’s a real person, and we’re really in a relationship. So please stop trying to set me up.”

***

“They didn’t believe I existed?” Lukas asked when they were skyping later that night.

“Nope,” Philip responded. “I had to pull up your motocross stats and everything to prove it.”

Lukas laughed, and Philip smiled. “That’s ridiculous.”

Philip rested his chin on his hand and watched through his computer screen as Lukas moved something on his desk. “Are you coming home for winter break?”

“In between Christmas and New Year’s, yeah. I think my flight has me in JFK on the 23rd, and then I leave again on the 4th or 5th or something.”

“Only two weeks?”

Lukas looked up and saw the disappointed look on Philip’s face. “I think I’ve got a shot at nationals again this year,” he replied. Philip nodded. “I know it isn’t a really long time, but I can’t stop training for too long before the season starts again.”

Philip didn’t seem too convinced. He knew that Lukas was training hard, and that he was doing what he loved. He just wished he could have done it closer to New York. Michigan was just too far away.

“I’m home all summer though,” Lukas said, hoping to wipe the hurt look off his boyfriend’s face. “I’ll be around so much you’ll get sick of me.”

“Nah, I don’t think that’s possible,” Philip responds with a smile.

“I miss you, ya know.”

“I miss you too, Luka.”

[obviouslyelementary]

Philkas week - Day 5: Confessions

Day 5 - Confessions ​It was stupid really, to think so hard about something like that. It would come naturally, he knew, but thinking and knowing that did not calm Philip’s heart about the fact that he had said he loved Lukas, and he had never been answered back. ​And okay, there was the fact that Lukas had not heard him saying it, and that he had never repeated the words ‘I love you’ in their three months of actual dating, but still. ​Well yeah, maybe Philip was indeed reading too much into it. ​“He never said it to me” Rose said one day, when he came to talk about it. “Which basically means that he does not lie about feelings. He will say it, if he thinks it’s time. Relax” ​And he had been trying, but since that party in Red Hook where they kissed for the first time in front of people, he had been waiting, and nothing had happened. And that was two months ago. ​And the worst part really was that Philip knew Lukas loved him, because his actions told him so. Since the beginning honestly, he just knew, but never received any formal confirmation that ‘yes, I love you Philip’. ​And damn it shouldn’t be such a big deal but it was and he hated it. ​“If you already know he loves you, you don’t need words” Gabe said another day, and Philip agreed, even though he didn’t really, because every time he was with Lukas, he was checking for his body language and signs to see if he really loved him. ​And that was worst than even wondering if he would ever say anything. ​“Philip” Helen called him out once, and walked with him to the barn. “Listen. I know you are freaking out because this thing of Lukas never saying if he loves you or not, but really, you need to calm down. You really do. It’s going to be fine. He will say it when he’s ready. But for that, you could say it yourself and it would be easier for him to open up” ​And so with that, he took her advice and waited for the next time they are alone. They were laying down outside the barn, staring at the stars, hand on hand, not talking at all. It felt wonderful and calm, and Philip closed his eyes, before opening them and moving to lay over Lukas’ chest. ​They stared at each other for a few seconds, before he spoke. ​“I love you” ​Lukas’ eyes widened a bit but then he smiled and kissed Philip’s nose gently. ​“Love you too” he answered, and Philip simply stared at him, confused. That was it? He just had to speak first? ​Well. It wasn’t so bad after all. ​Philip closed his eyes and nuzzled on Lukas’ chest, quietly enjoying his presence and just repeating those words in his head. ​‘Because you know I like you’ ​‘I like you, idiot’ ​‘You like taking pictures, right?’ ​‘You have me’ ​‘I lie to everyone else, not to you’ ​‘They were going to take you away’ ​‘Yes’ ​‘Like I’m not going with you’ ​‘Love you too’

[philipspolaroid]

Philkasweek Day 3: A Scene  (I started late but here ya go)

also if anyone knows why my last two gifs aren't working, please tell me

[phil-kas4ever-blog]

day 3: a scene. " please wake up. "

[taraj0nes]

PHILKAS WEEK: DAY 5 (music): Around the World and Back by State Champs (listen)