Intro: Welcome to my Kinktober 2025 masterlist!!! I am your host with the most @vim-pop-girl and together I will take you through 31 days, 31 stories, and 31 kinks.
Notes: hello all I'd never ever thought I'd do a kinktober since I might be the world's slowest most unmotivated writer but here we are! To those who read my fics I thank you very much. You could be reading anything else but you chose to sit down and indulge an exhausted 20 year college student's fanfiction aspirations and may the universe bless you for it. All the fics are about Baldur's gate 3 characters, I mean the line up is basically Orin-tober but I managed to work it a few other characters in there lol. Please enjoy.
Warnings: Smut 18+, minors dni.
P.S. let me know about any spelling mistakes, and I'll do my best to fix them right up. I started writing these pretty late, so there's about 99.9% chance that mistakes were made, lol.
Round 1 — Match 40 / 77 — Philomeen vs. Priestess Gut
Philomeen is a Deep Gnome character. She can give the party a Runepowder Vial.
"if you’re a loot goblin you can do the most ridiculous thing where one party member keeps her talking while another one sneaks behind her and steals the entire barrel. anyway. philomeen hive. i support women’s rights and women’s wrongs and women’s extremely dangerous runepowder storage choices."
vs.
Priestess Gut, also known as True Soul Gut, is a goblin True Soul and follower of The Absolute stationed at the Goblin Camp in Act One.
Tav: Can you cure the tadpole?
Gut: yes, in private. alone.
Tav: That’s a red flag.
Gut: drink this.
Tav: That’s two red flags.
I'm gonna rate everyone's responses to this pickle. Oh the webs we weave and the jars we ferment. 😭💀🥒
thanks for the obvious king. pretty standard response but at least he's a certified sweetheart in saying it. 5/10 for mid emotional support.
bae'zel, par for the course with an insult - lowkey off kilter tho since this gnome is obviously a desperate escaped enslaved person. She's literally just a girl. :( 3/10 response for understandable vocal concern but also lacking social awareness. Check your privilege girl.
unbothered queen. stays chill under pressure, albeit in a slightly condescending way - as expected from the cultist. fair enough tho, if it wasnt wash day yet i wouldnt want the hassle of washing gore from my hair either. 6/10.
weird thing to be territorial about but hilariously pure response. very on brand. that's the people's princess and we love her for it. 10/10.
legitimately funny. she probably has no idea what you're talking about Gale, but that's okay, we love you regardless. 9/10 for having manners but also for his verbosity. prioritizing eloquence pre-nuking would not be my first move personally.
being blown up would, in fact, not be hilarious. however, i love watching morally-gray characters have dark humor and Astarion is my #1 pookie in this run and also in my heart. 11/10 for being my fav fucked up blorbo but also a sassy funnyman under threat.
do not want to shut up. do not want to be shut down. do not want to see god. do not pass go and collect 200 dollars. pretty sure she called me a slur. would be negative points but her predisposition is understandable as an escaped enslaved person. it is possible to de-escalate this situation so i do not have to watch the flesh melt off my own face otherwise this rating would be way lower. 0/10.
