#phnctsa

[aspcrity]

"did you get beaten up?” ( eunwoo )

↻ ⋆ take me to the ocean ⟪ 100 ways ⟫ | status: accepting

“kind of.” eunsang groans when siwoo grabs him by the chin, eyeing his bruised face with a growing frown. siwoo isn’t pleased at all and eunsang knows the anger is growing within him, and while he itches to let siwoo go mad over a split lip, bruised cheeks and something that might turn into a black eye, he doesn’t. “talked it out with jaesang.” he shrugs his shoulders and carefully plucks siwoo’s hand off his face, letting it drop along with his own. “got rid of some grudges. nothing work related, so…” he jerks his head into the direction of their bathroom “i’m gonna get cleaned up. my knuckles need some patching. wanna help?” he holds his hands up for siwoo to see the state of his knuckles, obvious evidence that the brothers’ talk hadn’t been one-sided at all. eunsang had even invited jaesang over so they could both wind down with a beer, but jaesang had asked for a raincheck. maybe he was wary of siwoo and his mood. “you don’t look half as angry as i expected you to. had a good day, i assume?” eunsang trails behind siwoo easily, crossing through the apartment to the bathroom so he can listen about the job siwoo had today and in return tell him about the fight eunsang had with his younger brother in detail. he lets siwoo clean and patch him up. he knows siwoo hates anyone hurting eunsang - mostly his face, but he’s glad siwoo also seems to respect the boundaries all of them had agreed upon previously. jaesang matters to eunsang a lot, and eunsang isn’t too sure if siwoo is fond of it; but he respects it nonetheless, as long as eunsang doesn’t pay more attention to his brother than to siwoo. it’s a good, easy deal, something eunsang can follow without spending too much if any thought on it. 

[aspcrity]

“shall i give you head?” ( junhwan )

↻ ⋆ take me to the ocean ⟪ 100 WAYS ⟫ | status: not accepting

“hyung, you don’t even have to ask…” junhoe licks his lips, watching jinhwan shimmy down from the couch to take a seat on the floor between junhoe’s legs. and gods, it’s a sight. it’s a sight as it will ever be, and nothing in life will ever prepare junhoe enough for it that his heart won’t stop beating out of tune. jinhwan is his, his, his and junhoe will never get tired of it. the excitement will never subside, and the pride swelling in his chest won’t, either. no matter the situation, and it doesn’t even have to be sexual, junhoe will never allow himself to get overly comfortable - not in a bad way, just in a way of not taking it for granted. jinhwan is a fickle, emotional thing that junhoe cannot mess up to be with. he needs jinhwan like the air he breathes, and he knows jinhwan feels the same. they’re so wrapped up in each other, lives and personalities intertwined that sometimes neither of them know where a habit came from. where it originated from. the same with belongings. flats are filled up with stuff of the other - but along the lines, junhoe isn’t sure which was his in the beginning. it doesn’t matter, anyways. he’s getting overly romantic in this situation, which isn’t even weird or new.

he’s always been more of a romantic guy, and it’s clear jinhwan loves it, soaks it up. all throughout the blowjob jinhwan gives him, junhoe tells him he loves him so much. so many times. his hands are soft in jinhwan’s hair, voice low and even the curses come out soft because he’s just so in love. he finishes with a near shout, but that’s as loud as he gets in this moment. he loves jinhwan so much, and he tells him again when he pulls him up back into his lap, kissing him senseless, slowly. he wants to give back. always wants to give back for the love he receives.

[aspcrity]

"wow! you’ve got a wacker lot of doughnuts.” ( eunwoo )

↻ ⋆ take me to the ocean ⟪ 100 WAYS ⟫ | status: not accepting

“yes. they’re all for myself.” eunsang is obviously joking, can’t help but tease siwoo just a little bit. there’s no way he can eat all of these doughnuts by himself, not even when he’s seriously mad at siwoo and wants to get back at him. he got them for the both of them on purpose, seeing as the store they always pass had some sort of midday clearance - that eunsang should be suspicious of, but who cares if it’s about sweet treats - so he went ahead and  got the entire clearance. all of them. siwoo makes grabby hands at the doughnuts already, still wearing his jacket and shoes. “no. shoes off. wash your hands first before you touch these.” eunsang snorts, grabs a doughnut and goes over to siwoo instead to push it past his lips. he knows siwoo will pout and not resist the doughnuts before being squeaky clean, so eunsang is taking things into his own hands instead. “now go, you’ve got dirt all over your hands. did you go into the woods for work today?” siwoo tries to talk to eunsang about his job while his mouth is stuffed, but they’re both aware that it’s not very, if at all, fruitful. siwoo clamps his mouth shut then, chews the food while he’s shedding most of his clothes and beckoning eunsang (pointing to the doughnuts also) to follow after him. 

they end up in the bathroom, siwoo in the tub while eunsang sits on the rug on the floor and leaving crumbs all over it. at least, siwoo doesn’t try to eat the doughnuts over the tub, and leaves the dirt to the floor. eunsang listens with commentary while siwoo talks about his work, and eunsang wished he’d been able to come with; but then again, he wouldn’t have been able to get all these doughnuts, and lately they’ve been made aware they need to be careful. on track, for a while. they can’t afford to catch too much attention at the moment, so maybe it’s better this way.

[aspcrity]

"you may live your life as you want.” ( daebin )

↻ ⋆ take me to the ocean ⟪ 100 WAYS ⟫ | status: not accepting

“alright. in that case …. i want a house in the woods with a little clear lake or river behind it. and another house in a nice, warm, beachy area because i couldn’t possibly decide between the two. but thinking about it, everywhere you want to go, i will go with you, so really, what i’m saying is, that i’ll live my life with you forever because you make me happy and feel safe.” daeyeol is rambling on for a bit, getting excited about the prospect of planning his life however he wants it - and all of those scenarios his brain can come up with involve hanbin. it’s always hanbin being the focal point, no house here, there, no other materialistic need. he’s building his dream world around hanbin. he pulls hanbin close, flush to himself with a soft smile, arms safely prodded against his boyfriend’s hips. “i love you, binnie, and you’re really … really setting me free.” he kisses his forehead, too, and maybe he ignores the way that hanbin already tears up just a bit. he doesn’t want to call him out on it so he really does start crying. “thank you.” 

theres’s nothing but nice things for daeyeol to say about hanbin. there’s nothing but good memories, and good feelings. he’s helping daeyeol get over his fears by himself, always a supporting anchor along the way; but he doesn’t do it in a way that daeyeol thinks his own bravery is dependent on hanbin. and for that, he’s grateful. they’re growing together as people, and daeyeol can only hope that he’s giving hanbin back at least half as much. he could never measure up to the amount hanbin exceeds. never. he tells hanbin some of this, doesn’t want to overwhelm with cheesiness and heart vomit. they talk some more after that, about what the other has helped them with, what they think they grew out of and how they changed as people - and how, yeah, you’re a big motivation. your support is uncanny, and it just makes me want to do all these things better, and be a better version of myself. not even only for you … but for me, too. you teach self-love like no other. and daeyeol can’t help but feel like he’s the happiest man on planet earth and doesn’t doubt himself deserving this. if the universe fit him with someone like hanbin, he must deserve it. these things cannot happen by chance.

[aspcrity]

"i’m trying to understand your way, but you won’t let me.” ( jaehoon )

↻ ⋆ take me to the ocean ⟪ 100 WAYS ⟫ | status: not accepting

“because you’ll scold me and tell me to rest, anyways. you’ll hate my way.” taehoon whines, giving jaeyoung a hefty pout. he’s being childish and unfair, but he also knows this situation will go bad for him either way anyways. either he’s letting jaeyoung have his way which will result in hefty scolding and a lecture of how it’s necessary to take breaks and rest and not spend all his awake time practising, or he’ll continue to be stubborn and it’ll result in an argument and taehoon feels awful for being childish in front of his much older, very mature, boyfriend. the scolding stings more because he can feel the disappointment radiating off jaeyoung a lot more than when they get into an argument and leave each other be for a while - the silence hurts, and taehoon doesn’t do well with (temporary) rejection, but does he really want to face this kind of lecture? 

jaeyoung next to him lets out a long sigh, and taehoon braces for the disappointment and mild anger to roll of his tongue. he doesn’t want to be scolded like a child again, he feels so … inadequate when jaeyoung has that tone on him. taehoon, in all honesty, doesn’t think jaeyoung notices that it’s the same tone he uses on his younger siblings, and he realises this is where that tone comes from, so he doesn’t say anything. he’s sure jaeyoung doesn’t do it on purpose, or even thinks about it at all. and that’s okay. we did agree on telling each other what is going on, though … and you’re my boyfriend and i want to understand you to make you feel good. you need to talk to me about things, tae-ah. taehoon huffs, falls backwards on jaeyoung’s bad and stares at the ceiling. “can you not … scold me, though? please? please just … try not to.” he’s still pouting even when jaeyoung is climbing into bed next to him with another sigh, lies next to him and wraps an arm around taehoon’s middle. curiously eyes him with a raised brow. no promises, but i’ll try. and it has to be enough for now, taehoon knows he needs to try being less childish and stubborn, to grow up and talk about his problems. 

[aspcrity]

"you’re clever, funny, and … very, very pretty.” ( jaeho )

↻ ⋆ take me to the ocean ⟪ 100 WAYS ⟫ | status: not accepting

“ah, i didn’t … i didn’t expect that.” it’s quite obvious just how baffled yunho is. everything about this situation is unusual. jaemin inviting him out for drinks, picking this dimly lit weird bar, choosing this corner booth hidden away from most - but enough for the waitress to bring them drinks time and time again. jaemin, a little red faced, talking to yunho like that. he supposes everything is unusual, but it hasn’t been usual for a while. between them, not a lot has changed, but it feels to him as if everything had changed all at once at the same time. yunho is flailing and failing to really deal with the not-changes-changes, but he’s trying, and jaemin will never fail to let him know that he sees it. that they’re both trying.

it’s so weird to yunho, that there’s feelings involved and it’s not going to shit for once (at least not right away, but he tries not to think this pessimistic). this is a whole new experience to him, and he has told jaemin that he isn’t quite sure how to handle good things in his life and letting them happen. but all jaemin had replied had been i know. it’s okay, i fell in love with that, too. i’ll help you and yunho still isn’t quite sure what he should do or say in response to that. he doubts jaemin remembers, though. “thank you? i … i guess. you do know me better than anyone, and even if you’re obviously biased, it’s … meaningful coming from you. so, thank you.” yunho is simply fascinated with jaemin. he’s inept in so many things, and jaemin just sees pass all that. they’re not together and yunho doubts they’ll ever feel the need to be, but it’s good enough like this. yunho doesn’t need a label, a title. it’s enough knowing jaemin’s heart is his, and the cheesiness of that thought makes him gulp down his beer faster than intended to. jaemin complains about being left behind drink-wise. yunho grunts. “i thought about cheesy shit, and now i drink to forget that. so stop making me think cheesy shit, jaemin. this is all your fault.” there’s no real bark behind his words. there hasn’t been for a while when it comes to jaemin, and yunho knows he’s such an asshole all the time anyways, he wonders how jaemin could be so masochistic and stick to him. 

[aspcrity]

"i’m sorry. i was just looking for somewhere a bit quiet.” ( jaehoon)

↻ ⋆ take me to the ocean ⟪ 100 WAYS ⟫ | status: not accepting

“hyung, you’re so naughty.” taehoon giggles into jaeyoung’s shoulder, pressing him back against the door jaeyoung pulled taehoon through and shut close behind them. they’re in the apartment jaeyoung shares with his siblings, a whole party going on in all of the commonly used rooms. taehoon has never seen this many people occupying this place, and after a few hours of it, it must’ve gotten onto jaeyoung’s nerves. he’s just joking about jaeyoung being naughty, even though he knows jaeyoung really just wanted some quiet time, preferably alone with taehoon. they don’t get all that much really, really alone time. someone’s always somewhere they hang out together. obviously, they can’t go out on many dates either way, and taehoon still lives with family as well - so really, someone’s always around. or about to be. taehoon is full of energy and excitement to give for everyone, so he doesn’t really mind (even though he sometimes wishes that no one comes in while he’s nuzzling his cheek into jaeyoung’s chest on the couch, about to nap while they watch a rerun of a mediocre show) but jaeyoung, who’s always already up in flames with stress at work, he doesn’t even need to say it for taehoon to notice he minds. when the touches become longer, the gazes stronger and his lips tighter, taehoon knows. it’s not hard to miss, he thinks. maybe because taehoon is always watching, and always has watched even before. taehoon pats jaeyoung’s butt before stepping away and plopping onto his boyfriend’s bed. jaeyoung follows with a groan and they lie there for a few minutes staring at the ceiling with their shoulders brushing. taehoon knows to be silent and calm for jaeyoung, and it’s not like it’s a bother for him or costing him a lot of willpower, anyways. he likes compromising and making the other happy. “too loud?”, taehoon eventually asks. jaeyoung gives a grunt as a response at first, turning onto his side to wrap an arm around taehoon and bury his face into his collarbone. i’m glad they’re having fun, but i’m tired. work sucked, too. and i would much rather just chill on the couch with you. taehoon can’t help but laugh at least a little, giving jaeyoung’s hand on his stomach a pat. “you’re tired and grumpy. it’s not so loud here, right? you can take a nap. we can return to them later, i doubt they’ll mind. and if it’s too loud for you to sleep, i’ll just hold you in my squeezy arms for as long as you like.”

[aspcrity]

"i realised something. i’ve been an idiot.” ( youngwon )

↻ ⋆ take me to the ocean ⟪ 100 WAYS ⟫ | status: not accepting

“with all due respect, jiwon, that’s nothing new.” youngmin chuckles as he’s extending a hand to reach over to ruffle through jiwon’s hair. jiwon is giving him a sour look for a second until he realises youngmin is not making fun of him but rather trying to calm him down, let him know it’s not that much of a big deal as he’s making it out to be. youngmin beckons jiwon closer, pulls the other into an embrace sprawled on top of each other in the corner of his couch. “it’s fine, wonnie.” he presses a kiss against jiwon’s temple and doesn’t even know what their fight was about in the first place. he’s not going to ask jiwon either; hopes the other has already forgotten as well or will forget. if it’s not sticking, it’s not important to get agitated over. they’re both proud individuals so they fight easily - also because they’re both very … unique in their own might. youngmin is, sometimes, the one that gets over these issues faster. it certainly helps butting heads with seungyoun almost daily in the past when they were both trying to find their identities and place in the world, but youngmin doesn’t really want to pride himself on that. he’s still impulsive and rash and will always be, so it’s only a matter of delicacy to not let arguments with jiwon escalate. if he thinks about it, it’s not only that, but also letting jiwon in to the most vulnerable parts of himself and worming his way into that place in jiwon’s heart, too. it’s getting to know each other at core level with nothing but open arms and understanding. this is kind of a new for youngmin, this level of intimacy. souls laid out barren. whatcha thinking about, hyung? leaves jiwon with a hum, pressing soft lingering kisses against youngmin’s cheek and neck. “how much i truly love you.” youngmin smiles ever so fondly, and he wishes he could express more of what he really meant with just those few words. it’s not possible, though, and he’s still shit at expressing himself and communicating his feelings and thoughts properly, so it’ll have to do for now. he’ll sit on these thoughts for a while longer until jiwon hears them. “you’re making me thoughtful, is all. like i’m actually thinking for once, and not straight up heart and gut to mouth. it’s a nice change, once in a while. nothing bad though, don’t worry.”