bad. things are bad and I don't know if drunkenness is really a trigger or if I'm overreacting. but I know I basically didn't eat today and almost had a breakdown beforehand cause my phone totally broke and now my friend is texting me that he's drunk and it feels so good, and i'm so anxious my phone won't have my memories on it and I keep wanting to write and write how I feel and I can't do it, it won't be good enough and it won't be perfect enough and I feel like I'm eating too much and it's a shame I'm finally letting myself take up space and I keep overreacting and overreacting and overreacting and I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm anxious and I'm just being dumb and there isn't actually a problem and I can't think on this phone and I picked my own skin till there was blood under my nails and none of this music feels right, none of it's mine.