@levievent's LeviNSFW26 day 01: postwar + age difference
⋆˙⟡ levi didn't really need an assistant at the tea shop…
⋆˙⟡ postwar!Levi x Marleyan ex-soldier fem!reader. 4.2k words. NSFW. age difference, a little background for the reader, blowjobs, cum eating, semi-public (stockroom), handjobs, giving levi a bath/showering together, unprotected piv, cowgirl and creampie (mentioned)
uggghhh took me a while to get back to writing. i've completely lost confidence in my writing (myself, in general) the past month, been so demotivated because of it while also so drained at work :( anyways, i hope you all still like this even if i dont lol honestly, i wasn't going to post this if it weren't for @aphroditaeon (she believes in me more than i myself😂) 🫶❤️ thank you, as always, for being my number one supporter!!! <333
read on AO3 | masterlist | divider by @uzmacchiato
Levi doesn’t need an assistant at the tea shop. It’s barely been a year since it opened! He can count in both hands his regulars and most days are slow since there are plenty of other more established tea shops around and cafes that offer the so-called ‘coffee’ drink that the younger generation seem to prefer. But Gabi was persistent. Said you were good at chores and that you would be a big help at managing the shop. Even used the “her landlady would evict her if she missed another rent payment” guilt card which forced him to agree. That wasn’t his concern, still isn’t, but as people say: third time’s a charm—fortunately for Gabi (and you) and unfortunately for him. Twice he was able to say no, but the third, he couldn’t anymore. Not when Gabi brought you with her. Not when the way you looked at him made him weak in his already-weak-knees. He didn’t understand it then and he still doesn’t until now.
And he definitely can’t fathom how or why he’s in the stock room, slouched on a stool, thighs trembling, head thrown back against a jar of tea leaves, and mouth open in a breathy sigh while his cock slides in and out of your mouth.
He’s not going to lie, you really are good at maintaining the cleanliness of the shop. You even donated potted plants to make the shop look appealing and a phonograph to play classical songs in the background, bringing color and life to the place. It’s only been six months since you started, yet you’ve already brought so much life to the shop (read: to his life), so much more than he ever could and would. There’s not one bad thing he could say about you, not one reason to fire you. You need not be told what to do, always ready to greet the customers with a smile (something he isn’t good at), prepared to help them choose which tea to drink (which, to his surprise, you know a lot of), serve orders right after they’re made, and clean up after the customers left. You’d wash the used teacups without being told, wipe them dry, and organize them on the overhead cupboards just the way he prefers. It didn’t take him long to realize he’s been watching you (and enjoying it) from behind the counter all this time.
And you are so, so good at making him feel good. So fucking nice to look at when you’re on the ground and between his knees, your calloused fingers wrapped around the base of his cock, stroking him slowly while you suck at the head. He forces himself to look at you, eyes half-lidded, his cheeks a faint red, and it always catches him off-guard, makes him choke out a gasp, when he finds you already looking at him. A hum escapes his throat at the sight of your smile around his cock, his eyes rolling back so hard when your lips wrap around his head.
He breathes your name out, setting his eyes on you again. “Go deeper,” he murmurs.
You prop yourself up with your forearms on his thighs, careful not to hurt his knee. He grabs at the shelves on each side of him, gripping so hard his fingers turn white, still unable to make himself touch you with his disgusting hands. You let go of his cock, and he chokes out a moan, head hitting the jars on his back when you take all of him into your mouth, deep down your throat that your nose touches his stomach and you twitch and gag on his head. A sharp pain tears through his knee when his hips buck up in reflex, thrusting his dick further despite already hitting the back of your throat. You pull back with a loud gasp and an admonishing laugh that makes him sigh out another cuss. Levi watches you caressing his thighs. You’re staring back at him, tongue stuck out and pressed against the frenulum of his cock, your hands momentarily sliding up his pelvis and under the fabric of his shirt while his cock disappears into your mouth once more.
“Fuck—” he utters weakly, body shuddering as his cockhead hits the back of your throat.
He can’t believe he’s once again allowed himself to be this pathetic disabled man so easily reduced to a whimpering mess by a girl fifteen years younger than him. How can he let you do this? And in his tea shop, for that matter! How can he disgrace you and his little tea shop?!
How the heck are you so good? How the heck do you look so fucking good with your mouth around his cock?
“Fuck,” he sighs, thighs shaking, the coils in his belly starting to tighten. Your fingers wrap around his girth once more, stroking him while you kiss down his length, earning a twitch from his cock and a stream of pre-cum leaking from the slit. “I think I’m—”
“Please, Captain,” you cut him off, smiling prettily. Knowingly. He loves it when you call him that, you can tell. Even when he says he’s not that person anymore.
“Shit!” His toes curl in his shoes.
You grab at his hips, bracing yourself as you take him back into your mouth. He cries out a moan, and when his head hits your uvula and your throat tightens around him from another gag, the coil in his stomach finally snaps. His body shudders as a huge wave of pleasure takes over. You pull back slightly, fingers immediately wrapping around the base, stroking him hard and fast while you suck the cum right out his twitching cock. Suck harder and his soul might also leave his body. Levi bucks his hips once, twice, and stops when the pain in his knee becomes too much. He lets out a whimper, though he’s unsure if it’s because of the pain, or the pleasure, or the desperation to fill your throat until you’re choking on his cum. You giggle around him, eventually pulling away once he’s finished. Levi lets out a breathy sigh, tired yet very satisfied, as he watches the movement in your throat when you swallow.
Smiling, you wipe the corner of your mouth for a little show. “You good?”
“Yeah,” he answers, breathless. “Are you?”
You nod. “Felt good?”
“Yes.” No doubt about that.
You stand up. He straightens up in his seat when you begin to unzip your pants.
“Brat,” he utters, alarmed. He knows where this is going. You’re going to ride him next, and it wouldn’t even take him five minutes before he’s cumming again.
With the boots you’re wearing, you struggle a little to step out of your pants and underwear. It’s one of the things he likes about you: the not-so-fancy clothes or dresses (not that he’s going to ever say that out loud—at least, not yet).
“What?” you chuckle. “A good soldier should be rewarded, right?”
“Yes, but—” The words die in his throat when you sit on his lap. His hands immediately find your waist, keeping you still.
You lightly poke his nose before draping your arms over his shoulders. “Never had a girl go head over heels for you when you were younger?” A rhetorical question, one you always ask when you’re doing this with him. You know he would’ve had a line of women vying for his attention. You’re sure he was famous not just because he was Captain of a squad. Even until now, despite the broken eye and the scar on his face, he’s still the most handsome man you’ve ever laid eyes upon.
But Levi sighs, quietly as if he doesn’t want you hearing it. There’s a sad smile on his face, almost regretful, that you would’ve missed if you aren’t looking closely.
“I didn’t know,” he says, thumbs lightly brushing your hips. “With the threat of titans and all the fighting to survive, I didn’t have time for such things.”
Your shoulders drop. Levi lost half of his life battling monsters because of your people. Because of you. You begin to wonder how he could keep you with him at the shop. By his side. You can’t understand how he could still look at you so gently like you weren’t someone who killed his people during the war.
A gentle squeeze on your hips pulls you back to reality.
“You’re in there again,” he murmurs knowingly.
You shrug it off, then respond with a coy smile, “well, now you’ve got all the time in the world.” He only hums, and you take that as a positive response and begin rolling your hips, rubbing your wetness against his cock. “And we’ll make every second of it count.”
His hands trail up, staying at your waist. “I’m too old for you.”
You pause just to click your tongue at him, as if scolding a child. “Only I get to say that.”
“It’s true though,” he insists.
Pressing your foreheads together, you resume rolling your hips into his. “Fifteen years isn’t a lot.” You place a chaste kiss on his lips.
“You do know how much fifteen years is, don’t you?” he chuckles.
A loud knock from the main door startles the two of you. Levi glances at his wristwatch.
“They aren’t supposed to be back in another hour!” you cry out, pulling yourself away from him. “Ugh!”
Gabi’s shouting outside, calling your name and Levi’s. You quickly put back your underwear and pants on, glancing at Levi as he pushes himself up from the chair. You hurry over to help him pull his pants up to his waist.
“Go. Tell them we’re stocking up the shelves.”
You look over at the boxes of tea, none of which are open.
“Five minutes.” You close the door behind you.
Levi straightens his clothes and starts unboxing, get things moving even a little bit. Outside the stockroom, he hears you asking the trio how their days went, making small talks. You discuss your plan for dinner, a little belated celebration for Falco’s birthday. It doesn’t take long before Gabi’s asking about Levi while walking towards the stockroom.
“Hey, old man,” she calls over to the man in question, who has just opened the second box. “Let’s get going! It’s the weekend!”
“It’s only Friday,” he answers.
“Friday night,” she points out.
Levi glances at his watch. “Ten minutes to four.”
“Come on, Grandpa,” Gabi chuckles, rolling her eyes. “You need to relax sometimes!”
Huh. He does need to relax after what you’ve done to him. He could still feel his heart hammering in his chest after his last orgasm!
“I’ll just finish this second box,” he answers with a sigh.
“Falco’s gonna help with the rest of the boxes!” Gabi volunteers, turning to the boy in question. “Right, Falco?”
“Of course,” he answers in a “do-I-get-a-choice” sigh.
Thirty minutes later, your group heads out to a steakhouse downtown, where you wait for another half hour before a table big enough to accommodate your group is cleared. You each get a steak meal, fruit juices for the kids, and a bottle of wine for yourself, Levi, and Onyankopon. A simple celebration. Quiet, but a happy one. Gabi recounts memories when she and Falco were still with the Warriors, birthdays they celebrated with Udo and Zofia. There is bitterness in her voice even though she’s smiling through her stories. You hate reminiscing. There’s nothing nice to remember when you were still in the military, not when the only friend you had died in battle. It was your fault after all. He may still be alive if only you didn’t run away. He may still be alive if you took him with you when you ran away.
You have been selfish. You still are, choosing to show up before Levi everyday despite knowing you were once with the people who made their lives a living hell.
“So, tell us what you’re grateful for, Falco!” Gabi’s voice pulls you out of your thought bubble.
You glance in Levi’s way, realizing he’s watching. He must’ve noticed you zoning out, knows what thoughts are in your head. You look away, pretending to stir your wine.
Falco’s reluctant for a moment. “Well… I am grateful that we are all here and that you remembered my… my birthday,” his voice cracks, tears clouding his vision. “It’s been a while since we’ve celebrated this peacefully.”
“Aww, you’re such a cry-baby!” Gabi teases. “What else?”
“That’s it,” he sniffles.
“That’s it?!” She complains.
“A-huh. Your turn.”
“What? It isn’t my birthday!”
“It isn’t, but the birthday celebrant wants to hear what you all have to say too,” Falco says with a chuckle, looking at each of you across the table.
Gabi smacks her forehead, earning a laugh from Onyankopon, who volunteers to go next. He says he’s grateful for the food and that he got a job to keep himself from starving and to keep a roof over his head. Then, he passes the spotlight to you.
You know what to say but somehow, the words won’t come out. You don’t want to ruin the mood, but besides the fact that you get to do whatever you’re doing with Levi—which, you obviously can’t disclose to anyone around the table—the only other thing you are grateful for is that…
“...I ran away,” you say, almost inaudible. Then, you look up, meeting Levi’s eyes, and in a louder voice you continue, “if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be here with you all. What I did was a disgrace, but I’m glad I did it.” You swallow, remembering your late friend. “Somehow,” you added shakily, unsure suddenly, shame immediately eating up your insides.
“You still fought,” Falco points out. “And you kept us safe. Remember?”
“Mhm!” Gabi agrees eagerly. “You looked after our families!”
You nod, although weakly, as if you aren’t convinced yourself.
“None of you kids should’ve been there,” Onyankopon adds.
There’s a bitter smile on your lips when you turn to him. “I’m no kid. I’m twenty-five.” But you understand him. You were nineteen when you were conscripted. No one at that age should’ve experienced being in the frontlines of war.
“You did what you had to do to live,” says Gabi. “We all did.”
You shrug, turning back to Levi. “Not so good a soldier, am I?”
He doesn’t answer. You know he thinks otherwise. He always tells you what you did isn’t wrong. That you should’ve had a choice back then.
He holds your gaze for a moment, and knowing it’s his turn without you having to voice it out, he says, “I’m grateful that we are all here celebrating.”
“Come on, you can do better than that,” Gabi protests.
Levi looks at her, unbothered. “Your turn.”
Gabi purses her lips. And then, she sighs and smiles softly. “We made it out alive.”
“That’s it?” Falco counters.
“That’s it!” She raises her glass of juice. “Cheers to us!”
That’s something you all easily agree with. Glasses raise and clinks together for a toast to what’s ahead and to the birthday celebrant.
They’re right. What matters is you being here. You are alive. What’s done is done, and you only did what you had to do to stay alive. You will forever bear the guilt of running away, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy anymore.
The day ends sooner than you would’ve wanted. You and Levi part ways from Onyankopon, Gabi, and Falco, whose houses are in the opposite direction. You pull your coat tighter around yourself, closing the space between you and Levi after looking behind you to confirm the trio are out of eyeshot. You shove your hands into your pockets, kick at the thin sheet of snow that covers the ground, before latching onto Levi’s arm.
“So cold,” you chuckle.
“Take my scarf.”
You squeeze his arm. “I’m good. Thank you.”
The two of you walk in silence, side by side, until you finally reach your house.
Standing at your doorstep, you turn to face him with a shy smile. “It’d be nice to have someone to cuddle with on this cold night.”
“Just ask, brat,” he says with an eyeroll and a chuckle.
You open the door and take his hand. “You should come in.”
And he does, closing the door behind him. You kiss him slowly, your cold hands trailing up his chest and hooking over his shoulders. It’s so quiet all you hear is the sound of your lips against his, none of his breathing nor yours, for time seems to have stopped and with it your lungs from needing air. He is your oxygen, your blood. Everything you need. He gently wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. Pulling away slightly, you smile at his pink cheeks and smoldering eyes.
“Stay for the night,” you hum, touching his cheek. Warm. They feel so nice against your fingers.
“We both had drinks.”
“Nothing will happen,” you promise.
You both know that’s a lie.
You take his hand and turn to face… the stairs. “Shit. I forgot.”
“I didn’t.” He squeezes your hand. Reassuring. “Go start heating water. I’ll be fine.”
“You sure?”
“I can still walk, brat,” he points out, no heat in his voice.
You let out a little cheer before placing a peck on his lips and then heading upstairs.
He steps out of his shoes, pushing them aside by the main door, which he makes sure is locked before following you upstairs. Levi tries not to be negatively affected by it, but it still takes him almost a minute to climb just an eight-step staircase. Forty six seconds, to be exact, for just eight steps. For fuck’s sake.
He’s not the kind of man you should be with.
When you come out of the bathroom, you’re humming to a song, dressed in just your plum sweater and underwear, walking into your room to get a pair of sleepwear for you and Levi. He takes a moment to catch his breath and lets the burning sensation in his knee subside. You always remind him to be patient with himself. Healing and recovering takes time, you always say, and you’ve always been patient with him even when he’s too much of a burden. You deserve better.
But he can’t leave you. Whatever it is he feels for you, he feels so intensely, he can’t bring himself to walk away.
“You good?”
He lets out a deep sigh. “Yeah.”
You hug the clothes and towels against your chest and take his hand, leading him to the bathroom. You help him undress, unbuttoning his trench coat, taking his shirt off, then his slacks, underwear, and socks. He watches you fold them neatly on the counter before starting the shower, letting the water run for a few seconds until steam fills the bathroom and clouds the mirror. You help him step into the bath with you, enjoying a short moment of comfort under the hot water that pours over your heads and down your bodies. When it’s time to bathe, he leans back against the wall while you scratch his hair to wet it thoroughly. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why he doesn’t want to go: he likes how you take care of him. He likes this kind of affection.
It feels so nice he wants time to stop so he could be with you for as long as possible. You always make him feel that way.
Maybe it isn’t so bad to want to be cared for the rest of his life.
He places his good hand on your back, the one with complete fingers, letting it sit at the top of your bum. You take a step closer, right thigh between his thighs, so close that it rubs against his cock whenever you move. He keeps his eyes glued to yours. You stare back, a ghost of a smile curling your lips. You know what you’re doing to him, what each barely-there contact does, sending jolts up his belly, rousing his body from sleep. The first twitch comes when you scratch at his undercut, and he barely manages to suppress the moan that escapes his mouth.
“Don’t tease,” he groans, and you only laugh. A bit late for that, because by the time you’re done washing the soap from his body, his cock’s already up.
“You sure you don’t want to?” You ask with a lilt in your voice.
No. He swallows down the word and says, “let’s not waste water.”
You chuckle. “Okay, gramps. Your back, please.”
He turns around, hands pressed on the wall for support. He notices the holes.
“What are these for?”
“Oh…” you hesitate, but you know there’s no point in keeping it from him. “I was going to install handrails for you to hold onto at times like this.”
His lips part, but nothing comes out of his mouth. Why would you do that? Why would you go through such lengths for him?
You pull closer, pressing your body to his, arms wrapped around his body. “Don’t you like it?” You ask, thinking his silence must’ve meant he disliked the gesture.
“I— I do… I appreciate it,” he forces out. “But you didn’t have to.”
“Didn’t have to, but I wanted to.” You place a kiss at the nape of his neck. Your left hand inches up his left pectoral, while the other takes his cock and starts stroking it. “It’ll help especially when I do this.”
“Shit—” He murmurs your name.
“Hmm?” You twirl his nipple in your fingers, pulling at it to stiffen. “How about this? Do you like it?”
“Y–yeah…” So much that his knees almost give out when your fingers focus on the head of his cock, stroking deliberately in a circular motion.
“I knew you would,” you murmur with another chuckle, pressing your thumb against the frenulum and then dragging it up the slit, drawing out some precum. That also pulls out a whimper from him and causes his hips to jerk back, which, unfortunately, sends a sharp pain down his bad knee.
Levi says your name in warning. You pull back with an apology.
Fuck. Fuck! He should be the one apologizing.
He shifts his weight on his other leg, but the discomfort in his knee wouldn’t go away.
You grab the soap and start cleaning his back. “Sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“You did not.” He turns his face to look you in the eyes.
That brings a smile to your lips as you continue to wash his back, all the way down to his legs and feet. He still can’t believe how you’re patient with him, how you make things so much easier for him without asking anything in return.
How did he get this lucky? Does he even deserve this? Does he deserve you?
When you’re done with his back, you ask him to face you once more so you could wash his front thoroughly. He turns without a word, then pulls you into a hug.
“Oh,” you chuckle, hugging him back. For a moment, it’s just the sound of the shower that can be heard until you look up at him to ask “what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he says, even when all he wants to say—to ask for—is that you never get tired of him. “Do you have the rails? Let’s install them tomorrow.”
You smile widely, and it steals his breath away.
When he’s all rinsed, he steps out of the shower to start drying himself with a towel. He watches you wash the shampoo off your hair, his heart swelling with emotions while thoughts race in his mind. He wishes he could do the same to you: wash your hair for you, scrub your body clean, fuck you under the shower, make you cum with his fingers, make you cum some more with his mouth (and his cock, if only his knees could handle his weight.)
He wants to be better for you, but he knows he can’t rush himself to heal. He does have to be patient with himself like you are with him.
“Did I forget anything?” you ask, realizing he’s still in the bathroom.
He shakes his head and starts getting dressed. “I’ll wait for you in bed.”
“Be there in a few minutes.”
Levi prepares the bed for the two of you—that’s the least he could do. And when you finally join him fifteen minutes later, he no longer stops you when you pull his trousers and briefs down and then lay on your stomach between his legs. He watches you closely as you kiss his still soft cock, nuzzling the head with your nose before taking him and stroking him with your mouth, so slowly until he’s hard as a rock and he comes. He doesn’t stop you when you mount him (he does choke out a ‘wait!’, but doesn’t get the chance to ask if you still have pills because you’re already taking him back inside you with your other set of lips). He doesn’t stop himself when he grabs your waist gently, a reminder that he’s got you should you get tired. He doesn’t stop you when you lean forward, pressing him down on the bed with your hands on his chest, as your hips move fast and your moans grow louder, more desperate, even louder, until you’re a twitching and whimpering mess on top of him.
And he doesn’t resist when he says he’s cumming and you tell him to do it inside you.
this fees like it's the first ever fic i've written 😩 hope you all enjoyed it! day2 fic should be ready in the next few days, fingers crossed
⋆˙⟡ enjin x supporter fem!reader. 6058w. NSFW- smut with little plot! enjin lowhighkey jealous of gris, shameless smut, drinking, drunk flirting, dirty dancing, dubious consent, fingering, semi-public fondling and fingering, drunk sex, oral sex (both receiving), ruined orgasm, face sitting/riding, sixty-nine, reverse cowgirl, anal stim, unprotected p in v, creampie. a little made-up enjin lore (if you squint). reader has a cheater ex. reader doesn't get to finish, sadly. i wrote this with a reader who's the same age as enjin and is a foot shorter in mind.
ugghhh been wanting to write a full-on smut for this man, so here it is (somehow) >_< i havent read the manga after ch151 so i apologize if there are any inconsistencies. i meant to post this on valentines, but got busy with life :c also, i might write a second part if my brain lets me. i cant let reader not have a good time, can i?
read on ao3 | masterlist
The mess hall is gone.
Well, not really gone gone; just turned into something else.
Neon lights flash the mess hall walls, in sync to the beat of the loud music that drums the floors. Tables have been put together at one side to free up as much area to make for the dance floor, where a glitter ball hangs above the Cleaners who have beers in their hands and are dancing to the music to celebrate Valentine’s Day.
The celebration, however, doesn’t seem to reach the booth you, Tomme, and Follo share.
You’re slumped over the table, left cheek pressed on the surface, counting for the eighth time the empty bottles of beer before you. Six. No, seven. Crap, do you need to count again? There's one bottle that seems to flicker behind another. Ah, fuck. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that there’s nothing to celebrate, for the arrow Cupid shot you with only broke your heart into pieces.
“Fuck you, Valentines.” You roll your eyes so hard you see red.
You take a swig and then slam your just-emptied bottle on the table, jolting the other bottles and causing them to knock against each other. Tomme quickly catches one that nearly tumbles off the table, having done it a few times already in the last two hours. She refuses to leave you by yourself even with Follo around, knowing how you tend to act when you’re drunk (brain age reduced to that of an eight-year-old. A mischievous eight-year-old.) Who knows what you might do this time without Gris talking sense into you?
Where are they anyway? The team’s supposed to be back a few hours ago from the mission.
Follo returns with two full bottles of beer and sits beside Tomme. “Corlys threatened me that he'd tell the Boss I’m too young to be joining these parties.” He takes a quick drink and grimaces. “He thought this was my eighth beer.”
“You are young,” you murmur, turning to him with your cheek pressed against the table. “And heeee’s an assss-hole,” you slur, blinking as slowly and then breaking into tears when you continue, “I hope his new girlfriend denies him sex forever.”
Follo gives you a sidelong glance. Tomme sighs, lips parting to respond on poor Corlys’ behalf, when Enjin suddenly appears, sitting with a loud flop on the chair across from you, a half-empty bottle of beer already in his hand.
“Dang, ‘ya three started without waitin’ for us?”
You drunkenly raise your beer to welcome him.
“You’re back,” says Tomme, relieved to be seeing the rest of Team Akuta piling into the booth, all in one piece and seemingly unscathed—Enjin, Riyo, Zanka, and then Rudo, who looks a little lost, unable to believe this is the same mess hall he eats his meals at every day.
Tears spring free from your eyes the moment you spot Gris arriving. You scoot over to make space for him.
“Rough day?”
You hug him sideways, shoving your tear-stained face on his upper arm, murmuring Tomme’s name for her to relate the story to the group instead. (In the background, Enjin’s nostrils flare. How come Gris gets a welcome hug and he doesn't???)
“Sven called to greet her for Valentines, then told her he’d like for her to meet his new girlfriend tonight.”
Hearing it brings back the sound of your ex’s voice in your head when he told you the news, making you sob like a child whose candies have been stolen from her. Gris sighs, turning to face you so that he could hug you and you could cry on his chest instead.
“Who’s Sven?” Rudo questions.
“No one important,” you sniffle.
The boy crinkles his eyebrows in confusion. “Why’d you cry for him then?”
The only response he gets is Zanka knocking his head with his staff.
“I’ll cut his dick in half if you want,” offers Riyo, munching on a fry.
“It’s too small. Don’t bother,” you mumble, earning a collective grumble from the group.
Enjin downs his beer while throwing a sour look in your direction. “Stop cryin’. That ass ain’t worth ‘yer tears.”
“Easy for you to say,” you bite back, grabbing the new beer Follo got for you. Enjin’s jaw drops, but before he could even respond, you’re already talking, the words coming out of your mouth faster than your drunk brain could filter them. “You never cry because of women. They cry because of you.”
Enjin gasps dramatically.
“Alright, why don’t you girls go dance or something?” Gris butts in before Enjin could respond.
“I don’t want tooooo,” you whine, shaking your head vehemently. “What if he’s there!? I don’t want to see him— Griiiiiis!!!” But Tomme and Follo are already dragging you out of your seat. “Wait! My beeeeer!!!!”
Wondering what’s so good about beer, Rudo grabs the bottle and takes a drink, only to spit it out on the floor and choke out a “how the fuck do you drink this like it’s fuckin’ water?!”
“You’ll get used to it the more you drink,” Riyo answers as she gets up, motioning at Zanka and Rudo to do the same. “C’mon boys, let’s get somethin’ to eat.”
“I’m never drinkin’ that shit,” Rudo grumbles.
Silence immediately settles on the table, so heavy it makes Follo uncomfortable. It’s as if there’s an aura pressing on him. He takes a swig, but it only worsens the weird feeling in his chest. He swigs at his beer again and this time, Gris calls his attention, reminding him he shouldn’t be drinking like that.
That’s when he realizes what’s wrong: when he happens to glance in Enjin’s direction and finds him glaring at Gris. He flinches as if he’s the one receiving a death sentence.
He downs the rest of his beer and blurts out, “gonna join them!” as he scrambles to leave.
Gris watches you wrap your arms around Follo’s neck the moment he reaches the dance floor. You’ve got a new beer with you, which doesn’t surprise him anymore, and that’s alright. A little more fun for you shouldn’t hurt. Besides, you’ve got Tomme with you. And he’s here now should anything happen.
Then he sighs, his attention turning to Enjin. “She’s drunk. She didn’t mean what she said.”
Enjin smirks loudly, then gulps his beer. He wasn't born yesterday to not know that people in their drunken haze tend to be more honest than when they’re sober. Even though you never said it out loud, he knows you’ve disliked him ever since that night you caught him coming out of a pub with a girl in each of his arms. That was a year ago and since then, he’s been working hard to clear his image. He doesn’t know why he even bothers, not when he’s not any better than your stupid ex. He’s always getting involved yet never committing.
Perhaps he just really likes you enough to care about what you think of him.
He follows Gris’ line of sight and sees you laughing at Follo’s stiff dancing. He thinks you’re so pretty when you smile or laugh, always tempted to kiss your lips when they’re curved up like that. Man, you drive him really crazy. He’s always found you attractive ever since you joined the Supporters. He thought it was hot how you wrap your hands with bandages when going on missions, and when you punched a trash beast out of the way to protect him? He swore he would’ve dropped to his knees to worship you if he wasn’t busy with a larger enemy.
But what he likes the most is how easily you and Riyo became friends. He appreciates that you look out for her like she’s your younger sister.
You deserve to be treated well, you deserve all the best in this world (which is very much not him—but that doesn’t mean he can’t ask for a little of you, does it?) He’d be sad if you cried again, so if it’s true that your ex is here with his new girlfriend, he’d punch the living daylights out of that asshole before he spoils your mood again.
But still…
“She hates me.”
And he understands. He understands why you would choose anyone over him, why you would choose Gris over him, and it’s not just because you’re on the same team or almost of the same age. He’s the kind of man any woman would dream of having as their lifelong partner. He’s nothing like Enjin who knows nothing but sex without commitments and one-night stands. He’s already got enough baggage, a huge responsibility, and a prophecy to fulfill to care for anything more.
“You know that’s not true.” Gris finally turns to him with a firm gaze.
‘Easy for you to say that,’ says a voice that sounds like yours in his head. Gris wasn’t there when you caught him and looked at him with disgust, after all.
Enjin drinks the beer you left. There’s only one way to find out and he’s gonna need a lot of alcohol in his system for the courage. When Riyo, Zanka, and Rudo are back, he leaves to grab another beer, eventually staying by the mobile bar where it’s easier to get a beer after another.
Five bottles later, he forces himself towards the dance floor.
By then you’re dancing near the wall, a little away from the mess of hot and sweaty bodies at the center of the dancing area. Follo’s gyrating by himself, holding a bottle of beer and his back on you. Tomme’s nowhere to be seen, which is good because that means he could finally have you to himself. Before approaching you, he looks out for Gris, who’s now with Rudo and the kids from Team Child, keeping them company on their table filled with a ridiculous amount of finger food and fruit juices.
Enjin pretends to dance, flinging his gangly limbs and swaying his stiff hips to Too Lily’s newest single, when he’s actually just pushing Follo away from the two of you. The dark-haired boy doesn’t even realize it at all and continues his silly dancing, drinking his beer whenever he remembers to. After confirming the coast is clear of both Follo and Tomme, Enjin steps right behind you, catching you by your shoulders and pulling you towards him, pressing the back of your shoulders against his stomach. The beer you’re holding sloshes, but who cares, when he’s got you right where he’s been fantasizing to have you for so long?
You move your hips into the beat, and the slightest touch makes his drunken brain send signals to his cock. It takes all his will power not to carry you just so you're hitting him in the right place.
You look up, surprised. “Enjin?”
Did you think he was Gris? Man, that sucks. But now is not the time to be offended by that, so he tries to lighten the mood by cracking a grin that’s wide enough to show his dimples. He could only hope this works on you as much as it does with other women.
“Right in the flesh, Peach.”
“Peach?” You question.
“Mhm.” He pulls you even closer, tattooed fingers digging into your waist, a muffled grunt escaping his throat when you hit his increasingly hard-on. “Peach.”
“You’re ridiculous,” you chuckle, then add, “but I like it,” as you throw your head back against his shoulder. You transfer the beer to your other hand, and turning your head to face him, you draw the bottle towards his mouth. “I saw him.”
“Who?” He takes the beer and drinks.
“Sven.”
Ah, the fucker. “And?”
“I didn’t care—hmm, Enjin,” you giggle when he kisses the nape of your neck, the feeling of his wet lips sending shivers down your spine. He kisses the junction where your neck and shoulder meet and you moan, “what’s that for?”
“Your reward for you not giving a fuck,” he says, placing a kiss at the space under your ear.
You take the beer from him, tipping your head back for another drink before encouraging him for his turn. He holds the bottle through your hand, and when you turn your head to face him, he keeps his eyes locked with yours as he deliberately wraps his lips around the bottle’s mouth and drinks. His hand that’s on your hips slips under the waistbands of your underwear. You murmur something incoherently, or maybe his brain’s already swimming in alcohol so it’s no longer processing. He turns the both of you towards the wall, hiding this little extra activity of yours from everyone. His other hand sneaks under your shirt, riding the cotton up as it settles just under your breast.
“Hmm, fucken’ hot right here,” he hums, black nails scratching against your muscled stomach. His hand that’s on your pelvis moves lower, staying still right on your mound, so close but never touching you there.
You stand on your toes then turn your head so that your mouth is under his ear. “I know what you’re doing.”
“And ‘ya ain’t gon’ stop me?”
You grab the wrist of his hand that’s under your chest and lead it further up until his huge hand is covering your tit. You smirk, feeling his fingers twitching.
“Do it,” you challenge.
He resists, nibbling on your ear instead. “Thought ‘ya didn’t like me.”
“When did I ever say that?”
Something in him snaps, a tightly twisted knot magically undone. He squeezes hard — “fuck, so soft,” — and you arch your chest towards his hand, mouth parted in a breathless moan. It dawns on him just then that both of you have stopped dancing, and it won’t take long before someone notices and calls out the two of you for being inappropriate. Honestly though, he doesn’t care, but you’re not that kind of woman and you don’t deserve that kind of treatment. But man, what he’d do to rip your clothes off you, hike you up with your back to his chest and your legs spread up and fuck you in front of every-fucking-one.
Ahh, to fuck you while your ex watches.
While Gris watches.
The thought makes him harder. Fuck. He places a kiss on your temple and takes the beer from you, pressing the mouth against the lower of your parted lips. You drink half of what’s remaining and leave the rest to him, and he readily consumes it all. Then he takes your hand and leads you out of the mess hall, towards an empty and dark hallway, where he immediately and effortlessly picks you up as if you weigh nothing, and pins you against the wall. He crashes his lips into yours in an instant, tongue plunging into your mouth, tasting all the beer you’ve drank from your tongue. You wrap your arms around his neck, your legs around his waist with a crushing force, not wanting to let go anytime sooner. You tilt your head to the side, and he sucks your tongue before moving onto your lower lip, biting gently and then licking at the small indent his teeth left. He pushes your shirt and bra up and starts fondling your tits, groaning and teeth sinking into his lower lip in cute aggression as his calloused fingers roll your nipples to stiffness. Fuck, he’s dreamt of this a hundred times already, feeling your tits in his hands, and now that they’re right where they always wanted to be, they no longer want to let go. But then you complain about your thighs, already numb from gripping his waist, so he lets you to the floor, lips once again locked with yours for a moment before he turns you around to face the other way. He carries you again, arms now wrapped around your plexus area and then drives up his clothed hard-on against your ass.
This isn’t enough. It’s not enough. It’s just fucking torture.
He easily unbuttons your shorts and zips it open, letting the little clothing slide down your legs and dangle around your boots.
“Enjin,” you sigh, almost pleading, and he answers only with his hand sliding under your panties, his index and middle fingers slipping between your folds, pinching and rolling your clit. You grab his arm that’s under your breast, head hanging low, mouth agape in a soundless moan as his fingers slide further until they’re nudging your entrance. You wiggle your feet to get rid of your shorts, then you spread your thighs, hooking your ankles on each side of his legs—an invitation to put his fingers inside your cunt.
He hums smugly against your ear, the vibration in his chest sending tremors to your core. You pant loudly, unconcerned by the increasing patch of drool on your shirt. He spreads your folds with his fingers and then nudges and rubs your hole with his middle finger, so wet that when he slips it in there’s no resistance at all. You shiver against his touch, grinding your ass against his crotch and feeling his hard-on through his pants.
Oh fuck, he feels thick.
“Please,” — he drives the finger deeper, the roughness of his palm grazing your sensitive clit — “fuck!” and you choke out, spattering more saliva on your shirt and on the back of his hand.
“Please what?” He inserts another digit, and the added stretch makes your thighs tremble and your toes curl. He pumps his fingers into your cunt oh-so-slowly, drawing out a long and deep moan from your throat. “C’mon. The Peach I know talks a lot,” he chuckles against your ear, twisting his fingers in a come-hither motion inside you, as if coaxing the words out of your pussy lips instead of from the ones on your pretty face, and yet all you could manage is to utter a loud muffled grunt. “Would ‘ya rather they catch us here?” He murmurs darkly. “I wouldn’t mind, honestly. Especially if it’s Gris who’d see us.”
“What?” you exhale sharply.
“I don’t even care about ‘yer stupid ex, y’know, but Gris?” He bites the cartilage of your ear lightly, letting out a small grunt that sounds almost territorial. “Just imagine his face when he sees ‘ya spread like this for me, his favorite girl droolin’ for me.”
“Asshole,” you snarl, hips grinding into his hand to meet his thrusts. “Enjin— fuck me,” you say breathlessly.
“‘Ya sure?” His fingers thrust in and out of your cunt relentlessly, as if they mean to help you make up your mind. Or rather, for you to not change your mind.
You nod instantly, eyes rolling back when he twists his fingers inside again.
“We both had drinks, Peach,” he reminds you both.
You turn your head on his shoulder to look at him, eyes half-lidded, cheeks red, and the side of your chin glistening with saliva. “I don’t give a fuck.”
He cracks a frenzied grin, the little amount of inhibition remaining in his body snuffed out like a flickering flame. He promptly lets you go, causing you to stumble when you land on the ground.
“My room,” he says, grabbing your hand to lead the way, only to trip over when you refuse to move.
“Wait, dumbass!” You grab your shorts from the ground, laughing silly as you run along the dark hallways in just your soaked up underwear and your tits bouncing in the air.
The hallways are empty and the lights dimmed everywhere you run, save for the reception hall where the lamplights are still on and in full brightness. The elevators ding the moment you two reach the other side, barely managing to dodge the Boss when he steps out and turns to the direction of the mess hall. Enjin tugs at your hand to continue down the hall, and you bite back a laugh as you peel yourself off the wall and follow, missing the Boss’ glancing in your direction, later shaking his head knowingly.
The door to Enjin’s room closes with an echoing slam when he pins you against the cold metal, ridding you of your shirt and bra in an instant. He grabs your tits, squeezing them generously while you work on his belt. You feel the ground beneath your feet rocking, and you couldn’t decide if it’s because of the alcohol or Enjin’s skillful fingers as they flick your nipples. With little struggle, you step out of your boots. He pushes your underwear down, abandoning it right by the door when you start pushing him towards the bed. He takes his coat and shirt off, and then he dives onto your chest, kissing and licking at your cleavage like a thirsty man, mouthing a nipple and sucking it hard like a damn baby, letting it go with a pop. But he doesn’t stop just yet, latching his mouth not even a second after at the underside of your boob, sucking until it blooms red. His pants drop, bunching around his boots, which he laboriously steps out of together with the pants. You shove his boxers down impatiently, salivating at the sight of his cock springing free and glistening with pre-cum. You drop to your knees right in that instant, and it draws out another smug smile from him. He would’ve never thought you would be this eager for his cock.
Your eyes flicker to his face, then back to his cock. Of course, he’d be big; you just didn’t expect he’d be this big. And pretty, holy shit, with its glistening dark pink head and the shaft girthy and defined with ridges and angry veins. Is this where all the fats that’s supposed to be in his skinny body went? Hmm. Pretty sure that isn’t how it works, but whatever. You place a tentative lick at the frenulum and his cock twitches in response. Damn, he’s so thick that just the head alone occupies your whole tongue. Enjin watches closely, with only a ghost of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth when you wrap your lips around the neck, stroking only the head with your tongue grazing at the slit. Your ex loved it when you did this to him, but Enjin? Fuck, you don’t even see a sliver of emotion on his face. None of the slight furrowing of his brows nor the gritting of his teeth. Even after you suck lightly at where the pre-cum leaks. You know he’s just riling you up, trying to get you to take all of him in your throat, and you’re afraid it’s working, you’re fucking pissed only because you take pride on this pretty, skillful mouth of yours.
You grab him by the hips and slowly work your mouth further down his length. He smirks this time, but it’s cut short when you pull back without even reaching even half of his length, the tip barely hitting the soft palate of your mouth.
He grimaces as if it caused him physical pain. “Do that again and see what happens,” he dares.
Honestly you want to test his patience. This is your first time with him after all, and he’s almost always so relaxed on the battlefield that you’re curious to see how he is in bed, curious of what makes him crazy in bed. You know that the alcohol is contributing greatly to it, urging you to be a little more reckless and drowning that tiny voice in your head that’s trying to talk coherence back to your brain. ‘You’re not on the pill and you don’t have any emergency pills with you. This is a mistake,’ says that one voice. But then another voice counters it with ‘it’s Valentine's Day anyway,’ and as if in agreement, Enjin’s cock twitches, banishing the remaining sliver of restraint that’s been holding you back.
Just a little fun wouldn’t hurt.
You lift your eyes to his face as you deliberately take him into your mouth, letting his cockhead hit your uvula before pulling back. Enjin’s brow twitches, and with a grunt he grasps you at the back of your head, holding you still as he thrusts deep into your throat, making your lungs constrict and eyes roll back. He utters a breathy shit as he pulls out a little and thrusts in slowly again, hitting the same spot that makes your eyes water. Your nails dig into his hips, but Enjin only sighs through his mouth in pleasure, eyes glued to your face while he slowly fucks your throat.
You reach between your thighs with your right hand, attending to your neglected clit. Enjin takes your other hand in his, tugging it upwards to his chest and urging you to play with his nipple. With his height, you shift to straighten up on your knees for better reach, and then your fingers work hard, left ones twirling and pulling at his wrinkly nub while the right ones you use to roll your clit.
Enjin’s pace quickens, each thrust deeper, fingernails digging at the back of your skull, making you tear up and gag. You can tell he’s near, with how hard he’s biting down at his lower lip and how close his brows knit together. His thrusts grow sharper, more urgent, until one particular jerk of his hips burrows his cock deeper, blocking your airflow completely. In the split second that his grasp loosens, you pull away and quickly replace your mouth with your fingers instead, wrapping them tightly around the neck.
“Fuuuuck, ‘yer so mean…” he whines, totally unsuspecting you’d do that and keeps jerking his hips while spurting semen into cold air and onto your chest.
You give his cock a little kiss when he’s done. “You aren’t my boyfriend for me to swallow your cum.”
“So fuckin’ mean,” he whines.
You get up on your feet and push him to sit on the bed, straddling him afterwards. His hands immediately wrap around your waist, and he looks up at you as he starts sucking your tit, unbothered by the fact that he just sipped his own cum. He twirls his tongue on your nipple before sucking hard and pulling at it with a loud pop, and then he squeezes your asscheeks and smacks hard. You chuckle, cupping his face to kiss his mouth.
He moves the two of you in the middle of the bed, where he lies on his back and says, “blow me again.”
You roll your eyes at him. “You gotta return the favor too,” you answer, turning around on your knees and then crawling backwards. He grabs your butt, generously squeezing the cheeks and then spreading them apart as you sit on his face. His mouth immediately gets to work, sucking right at the hole while his fingers spread your pussy lips apart. You grind your hips into his face, moaning out his name repeatedly as he alternates between sucking, dragging his tongue along your folds, and flicking over your clit.
But there’s something wrong. It felt good for the first few seconds and then, nothing. You feel nothing. Your head is spinning, thighs shaking at the intensity of his sucking, yet your belly feels devoid of pleasure. Crap, crap! You lean forward, gripping at the sheets while still grinding your cunt against his face, silently praying to feel it.
Enjin cups your asscheeks and lifts your hips just to remind you to, “blow me, Peach.”
“So fucking demanding,” you grumble heatlessly as you lie on his stomach. Enjin thrusts up sharply the moment his cock is in your mouth, but you aren’t feeling deepthroating him this time, so you let your fingers do the work, stroking the shaft while you keep your mouth around the tip, licking and sucking at the head.
You wonder if he even realizes what you’re doing is just your bare minimum. Maybe he doesn’t, not when your hands still manage to reduce him to a whimpering mess under you, his moans rivaling the loud squelches of your pussy lips against his mouth. Enjin isn’t bad either—fuck, he’s so, so, so much better than Sven in every possible way, you’d admit that loudly if you’d have to, but you couldn’t understand why it isn’t doing anything. Is the alcohol spoiling your fun now?
Fuck. No.
It’s your ex. You’re fucking thinking of him again.
Enjin’s squeezing your cheeks again, raising your hips from his face. “Ride me, baby.”
With your brain occupied by something else, you don’t even complain anymore, nor do you realize what he just called you. You position yourself between his legs, his left thigh on your back and the other between your thighs. You lean forward, spreading your knees apart while Enjin straightens up to a sitting position, guiding the tip of his cock towards your cunt. He nudges your hole with the head, smearing pre-cum along your folds, making your walls clench around nothing, and with his other hand on your ass, he pushes your hips down, whining as you easily sink down on his cock until he’s bottomed out.
“Oh, Enjin!” You cry out, gripping the sheets tightly and toes curling at the stretch and at the feeling of his cockhead hitting your cervix.
He barely waits for you to adjust, working your hips up and down his cock rather hastily, palms spreading the cheeks apart and fingers digging in the flesh of your buttocks. “Mhm, feels good, I know…” he murmurs, eyes glued to where your bodies are connected. “You’re takin’ me so well, Peach. So good, so fuckin’ good.” He nudges your ass hole with his thumb, something none of your exes has ever done to you, and you feel your walls tensing at the unexpected yet welcome stimulation.
You slam your hips against his, taking pleasure from the sound of skin hitting skin. This is it. This is what you’ve been waiting for, what your body’s waiting for. You straighten up, squeezing your tits together, pulling at your nipples while you bounce on his cock, and fuck, it’s crazy how he’s hitting you even deeper in this angle. Enjin lets go of your ass cheeks and grabs your tits from behind, pushing away your own hands to squeeze and rub your nipples. You turn sideways to kiss him quickly, and he doesn’t let go without biting at your lower lip first.
“Fuck– this is— fuck— how the fuck did Sven manage— to date you?”
Your mood sours in an instant. You slap his hands away and lean forward, gripping the sheets tightly as frustration replaces the pleasure in your belly. Fuck, does he really need to ruin the mood?!
“So fucking lucky, that asshole.” He grips your ass and then smacks hard, the sheer force of it making you yelp and jerking you forward, breaking your momentum.
You fist the sheets as you pick up where you left off. “Can we not fucking talk about him?”
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Thought you didn’t care?” he questions.
“Can’t you fucking stop?!”
You grit your teeth, eyes blurring in an instant. The truth is you cared. When you saw him earlier, you cared and you cried. You felt bad. You were fucking bitter, seeing him so happy with another girl while you drank so much that your face felt numb. You still cared and it still fucking hurt to be dumped by such a man. That girl wasn’t even the one he cheated with, what the heck! That fucking cheater doesn’t deserve happiness.
You pick up your pace, your belly now tight with frustration. The sheets crumple in your knuckles, your skin turning white at the force, but all you could think of is how much you hated that fucking smile on your ex’s face while he introduced his new girlfriend to everyone. She isn’t even a Supporter, so how the heck did she get into the HQ? How the fuck did they meet? How the fuck does he get to be happy in just a few weeks while you’re still reeling from that stupid break up?
The bed creaks loudly at the speed you’re going. Behind you, Enjin is a moaning mess, unbothered by the loud obscene noises both of you are making, so lost in his lust-induced stupor that all he could see is the way your cunt willingly sucks him whole. He drops to a lying position, hands flying to his head, fingers raking through his waxed locks, as he moans repeatedly. Then his toes curl, eyes rolling back, and cries out your name sharply before a long, breathy, “fuuuuck.”
Your hips falter, feeling something warm spilling inside you.
You feel the alcohol evaporating from your system in that instant.
“Enjin!” You whip your head to look at him just as he lets out a loud grunt, hands flying to your hips to hold you with a bruising grip — “you asshole— shit!” — and starts thrusting up into your cunt from below, fucking into you through his orgasm. He finishes with a sharp thrust, pushing his cock up and further into your cervix until the last drop of his cum.
He lies limply under you, arms and legs sprawled out, chest heaving as he calms down from his high. Your head suddenly feels heavy, your eyes warm as you pull away from him, leaving his cock twitching against his stomach, glistening and even nearly white from being coated with your slick and his cum. Your heart hammers in your chest, stomach tight as you turn to face him, feeling his semen dribbling from your cunt.
“You asshole—” you slap his cheek and he only whines at the sharp pain. “I’m not on the pill, you fucking asshole.”
“Just pee it out,” he mumbles, reaching for your hand, only for you to bat it away.
“Is that what you tell every woman you fuck?!” Your voice grows shakier at every word until it’s barely audible. When he tries to cup your cheeks, you slap his hands away.
“We’ll get you pills first thing in the morning, I promise.” His hands settle on your waist instead, squeezing gently. “Baby, 'ya felt so good. Couldn’t hold it in,” he says with a yawn.
“Don't "baby" me! A warning would’ve sufficed, you idiot.” You get off him and out of the bed and march into the restroom to pee.
Fuck. You knew this was a mistake. You should’ve stopped in the fucking hallway. You shouldn’t even have danced with him. So stupid. So, so stupid of you.
You look at yourself in the mirror. “So fucking stupid.”
When you come out of the restroom, you find Enjin’s already passed out.
“No!!!” You clamber over him, shaking him vehemently by the shoulders. “Wake up, you dumbass! We’re not yet done!”
His head lolls to the side, lips parted and eyes closed only slightly, that you still see some sclera. He’s probably already traipsing in wonder-fucking-land.
“I hate you!” You cry out, slapping each side of his cheek.
The only response you get is a snore.
You concede, shoulders dropping in a heavy sigh. You remember he just got back from a mission, so he must be really tired. Drunk and tired.
“Dumbass…” You reach forward to brush a few stray hairs from his forehead.
For a while you lie on top of him, listening to the calm beating of his heart while tracing the tattoos on his chest down to the one on his stomach, wondering what each of these means. The sensation must’ve stirred him slightly because you hear him moaning, smacking his lips together in his sleep and then wrapping his arms around your waist. You decide to stay a little longer, craving this kind of interaction.
But he isn’t your boyfriend. And this is only a one-night stand. A big mistake.
You carefully get off him to avoid waking him up (though you suppose that is unlikely since he didn’t stir even after you slapped him twice) and start getting dressed. Then, you gather his clothes, leaving them neatly folded on his bedside table.
You linger by the door to watch the gentle rise and fall of his chest for another moment, shaking your head ruefully as you finally close it behind you—a short chapter you’re putting an end to.
⋆˙⟡ you'll stop at nothing to get the d. not even when levi's in-game, nor the fact that he's streaming. — 2412w. smut, MDNI! levi x fem!reader, handjob, blowjob, rough oral sex, cum eating, cumshots. a little gamey-ish, as the summary suggests.
⋆˙⟡ inspired by this prompt from @/creativepromptsforwriting (tho...is it still valid if i inserted a few lines between the sentences? ehehe) a little exercise for my brain that's been hibernating since november lol
⋆˙⟡ masterlist | read on ao3
you'll never get tired of watching levi, even if it's just his back you're staring at, whenever he's doing something he enjoys. it's as if you're back to being a high school girl, lying on your stomach on the bed and falling in love all over again with your boyfriend, a soft smile plastered on your face and your feet swaying in the air to a happy tune only you seem to hear.
you should be working on your report—you were working on it, but you've long since abandoned the PowerPoint, your focus dwindling until all you could hear is the sound of levi's voice, groaning and swearing every few minutes, frustrated at how their in-game mission is going.
it's distracting. in a good way.
a very sexual way.
an idea pops in your head. you grab your personal laptop from the bedside table, booting it up from sleep. you put your earbuds in, waiting for the bluetooth connection to complete before joining the 1.4k people who are watching levi's stream of a helldivers 2 game with erwin, hange, and moblit. their mission is to operate the huge mobile tanker called GATER to drill and extract oil from four different locations, all while fighting hordes of different types and sizes of bugs.
"uhhh, guys, roaches incoming," warns hange through the voice chat. "three, actually. and the autocannon's out of ammo."
"bile titan at 3 o'clock," erwin adds.
you watch as levi rotates his view, gauging the situation. the enemies in question look like cockroaches, massive cockroaches. one with hulking legs and only walks, while the other only flies.
"remind me again why we're doing diff-10?" hange questions.
"you dared levi," moblit says matter-of-factly.
said man doesn't react, his focus on the approaching enemies as he looks through the rangefinder.
"i''ll hellbomb the titan," moblit volunteers.
"no. let hange do that and die," levi counters in a deadpan tone.
"you're mean," hange bemoans. on screen, you hear their helldiver declare "another diver for the cause" as it throws a glowing ball-like item to the ground, reinforcing moblit back into the game, and then throwing another ball as hange says, "here's your hellbomb."
one of the roaches proceeds to dive and unleashes a strafing breath attack. levi manages to dive out of the way while hange fails, causing their helldiver to shriek as it's ignited. levi goes down on one knee, aims the recoilless rifle at the roach's head that's hovering for its final tracking breath attack, and shoots.
the roach shrieks and drops dead.
"holy shit, shorty, how do you always do that?!" hange roars, and then, "shiiiiiit!!" when another roach spews its fire breath over the tank.
levi dives away, falling off the vehicle surface in the process. "fuck."
his deep voice makes you bite your lower lip.
something must be wrong with you because you find him so attractive when he swears like that.
"han, why don't you drive the tank? i'll help levi," erwin suggests.
"okay..." hange hesitates, "but this thing is so difficult to handle!"
levi lets out a psh. "skill issue."
hange laughs, and then, "i'm better at The Sims, though!"
"The Sims," levi deadpans the same time moblit sighs, "you can't be seriously comparing them, han."
the tanker stops and erwin comes out of the driving hatch, replaced by hange seconds in a matter of seconds. erwin goes prone on top of the tanker, preparing to shoot the roach that's nearest to him. levi keeps to the ground, reloading his weapon, and then aims at the other roach that's hovering nearby.
you watch him aim at it's head, waiting for that moment it'll swoop in for another attack, and then fires. the roach screeches and falls to the ground.
holy shit.
your imagination goes crazy in an instant. you've played this game with him a few times before to know how a helldiver looks when kneeling or going prone to snipe enemies, and in your head, you see levi himself, dressed in a military outfit, down on one knee with the rifle sitting on his shoulder, and fuck, you think you're wet.
you press your thighs together and start sending messages in the stream chat.
CtrlAltDefeat: HOLY SHIT
CtrlAltDefeat: THAT WAS SO HOT MR. LV4CKRMN
CtrlAltDefeat: BEGGING U TO TAKE ME DOWN NEXT I WILL DO EVERYTHING
he whips his head around to glare at you, only to receive a grin in response. you want to add that you aren't joking, but that's unnecessary as you know he's aware.
"titan's dead," moblit announces.
fuck, you really are horny right now. good thing levi isn't streaming on-cam because you'd do anything to blow him right-fucking-now.
you get off the bed, taking your clothes off impatiently. you hear hange saying "it's so quiet, it's scary," in your earbuds as you walk towards levi, eyes set on the back of his head. you reach forward, squeezing his shoulders and then letting your hands slide along his muscled arms. he glances at you, then does a double take with his brows knitted together.
"what the fuck?"
he mutes his mic just as you let out a giggle, dropping to your knees as you position yourself under the desk and between his knees.
"the fuck are you doing?"
you act cutely, lips curved up in a pretty smile as you caress the side of his thighs. "can't help it. you look so hot sniping bugs."
"brat, i'm streaming," he grumbles.
"not gonna stop you," you chuckle, slipping your fingers under his shirt. his legs presses in against your arms at the sensation of your fingertips against his stomach. "you play your game, i play with this." you smile up at him, nuzzling his clothed cock with your nose.
levi chokes out an incredulous breath. "don't you have better things to do?"
"not really," you murmur, "well, i did, but you're distracting. and you know... you're kind of my favorite distraction."
"shit—"
"levi, still there?" erwin calls in-game.
he unmutes his mic just to answer "one sec." and then to you: "you just can't wait," he grumbles, lifting up his hips for you to take his shorts and briefs off. you grin, pulling them down in one swift motion. you know he'll never say no to you, not from this.
"don't do anything stupid," he warns, as if your sucking him off while he's streaming isn't inappropriate at all.
you start showering his cock with kitten licks and kisses, effectively rousing it from sleep in less than a minute. levi keeps his mic muted, unable to stop the curses spilling as moans from his lips as you start stroking and licking him to a full hard-on.
"shit!"
you don't know what's happening in-game anymore, but you hear levi's helldiver crying out "i'm losing so much blood!"
"did levi just get blown by a charger?" hange cackles.
levi flinches.
"sh-shit, babe," he stammers, glancing down at you, "i- i have to c-come closer to the- fuck- c-computer. can't play like th-this..."
"okay," you chirp, crawling backwards and further under the desk to give him space. levi wheels forward, careful to not hit you, then he shifts to slouch slightly, legs spread wide apart to give you enough room to move.
"helloooo, super earth to levi," hange continues.
"what?" he snaps, and then he chokes out a "fuck!" when you take him all the way down your throat. he quickly mutes his mic and turns to you looking so torn. "babe—"
"mhm?" you hum around his cockhead, meeting his eyes with an innocent blink.
moblit says something about calling in extraction, but you've already stopped paying attention minutes ago.
"can't... can't concentrate..."
you keep stroking the base while you suck at the tip, tongue swirling and smearing pre-cum all over the head. he threads his fingers through your hair at the top of your head, then moves them further to the side above your ear to keep your head still while he thrusts up into your face. his chair wheels back, so you grab the arm rests to keep him close, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as his cock repeatedly hits the back of your throat.
"fuck—" he grunts, toes curling and heels pressed hard against the floor as he picks up the pace in rocking your head back and forth, needy and desperate.
"levi, need your help here," calls erwin.
"fucking shit!" levi lets go of your head. you pull away from his cock with a gasp for air, the thread of semen connecting your tongue to the tip of his cock stretching thinner and then splitting. you thumb the slit of his cock, spreading the stream pre-cum down his cock as you stroke him deliberately. you distantly hear hange's shrieking in your earbuds, saying they're out of stims, then levi muttering an apology as he goes back to the game.
or tries to, at least.
you take him back into your mouth, lips wrapped just around the underside, sucking hard while you stroke his length with your fingers. levi's own hands are trembling, giving him a hard time killing the bigger enemies with one shot. he lets out a string of profanities in frustration, desperate for the game to finish and end his stream already.
you let go of his cock with a loud pop, then you keep rubbing the slit with your thumb while you work your way down the side of his cock with your mouth. levi glances down at you, brows almost knitted together and his forehead glimmering with a thin sheet of sweat, and gasps at the sight of your head tilted to the side and your lips and tongue latched around the side of his cock. you hold his gaze as you lick him up from the shaft.
"shit." he looks back to his computer and groans openly "shiiiiit." still one minute and 34 seconds left before the mission completes.
"the hell's wrong with you, levi?" hange questions.
"i—" you take him back into your mouth, deep down your throat. levi lets out a whimper and then chokes out a "need the— toilet!"
you would've laughed at the lie if you aren't so busy deep throating him.
"what? hold it in! we're almost done!" demands hange.
you pull back, but not all the way, keeping your mouth wrapped around the head while you stroke the base with your hands. you can tell levi's close with how his thighs are pressing in on you.
he confirms it shortly, spluttering "i'm close!" before going on mute and throwing his headphones onto the desk, missing hange's, "what the hell?!" you pull away knowing he'll get up on his feet. levi's hands fly to your head, guiding your mouth back around his cock. you hold onto his waist with a bruising grip as he fucks your mouth, burying his cock deep in your throat in a desperate chase of that high, and your eyes water as you choke on his thick head. levi pulls back and then thrusts back in, says "you wanted this, didn't you," and pushes in even further.
you hum in affirmation, twitching as you gag once more. your throat and your lungs feel like they're on fire, but you couldn't care less, wanting nothing but your boyfriend cumming in your mouth. you distracted him from his game after all, this is the least you could do to make up for it. you look up at levi with your teary eyes, and his breath catches in his throat. you shake your head, adjusting your mouth around the base to take him in as deep as he could get.
levi's knees buckle, and then he thrusts up sharply, letting out a loud grunt of "shit!" your back arches in another gag, eyes rolling to the back of your skull. he moans out your name and starts spilling down your throat. you grasp his ass, fingers digging into the soft flesh as your throat gargle and your lungs scream for oxygen. levi cups your cheeks, thumbs brushing away the tears under your eyes as he rocks his hips into your face through his orgasm. your hands move up to his lower back, then to his stomach, and he takes it as a sign to finally pull out, quickly replacing your mouth with his fingers to fist his cock, shooting the few last drops of cum to your face.
you quickly swallow all of his cum that's in your throat, eyes blinking away the tears as you look at levi, obedient and seeking for his praise. you put your tongue out, and he cradles your face with his left hand while the other guides his softening cock back towards your mouth, slapping the tip against your tongue.
you giggle, taking him back into your mouth and lapping up at the slit to lick him clean.
"good girl," he sighs, and you lean into his hand with a smile.
"even if i ruined your game?" you ask, feigning innocence.
his brows twitch, then he looks back at his computer and swears, realizing the mission has just completed and he failed to extract. you chuckle, watching him sit back and put his headphones on.
"shit. sorry. couldn't hold it in."
"sure," hange answers knowingly. "i tried to kick you into the pelican, just so you know!"
"but killed you instead," moblit discloses.
"tch. that's fine."
you get up to your feet, standing behind levi to wrap your arms around his shoulders.
"gotta go. thanks, all, for watching."
you catch a glimpse of the very active stream chat, praising their game and levi's sniping skills. then you catch a familiar username.
magicMiche: boyfriend duties, yeah yeah
"nice g!" hange cheers.
"you did great, hange," you butt in, grinning at the sound of them excitedly shrieking your name. "hi erwin! hi moblit!"
"you should play with us sometimes," moblit encourages.
"yeah. see who's worse between her and hange," jokes levi.
you smack his chest playfully. he catches your hand in his and holds it still.
"bye," levi says to his friends and then exits the game without waiting for their response.
he shuts down the computer and looks up at you, meeting your grin with a smirk. "your turn."
your arms automatically wrap around his neck as he gets up from his chair, your legs around his waist as he lifts you from the ground, carrying you to your shared bed.
@levievent's LeviNSFW26 day 02: royalty + voyeurism
⋆˙⟡ you meet levi on a blind date — one that you think went perfectly fine until he said he doesn't intend to see you again.
so, why is he with a dozen other men vying for your hand in marriage?
⋆˙⟡ businessman!Levi x princess!reader. 12k words. NSFW. reader referred to as "Cameron" once. modern royalty au, blind date (thanks, hange!), mentions of a past deaths by assassination and hanging, consensual voyeurism, use of sex toys, handjob, blowjob, face humping, face fucking, oral sex (both receiving), fingering, cunnilingus, ruined orgasm.
i apologize for any mistakes. i am currently drowning in tasks i neglected last week 😆 hope you all enjoy this... i'll be back to post day 4 maybe....next month.... (i myself cant tell if im kidding or not)
read on AO3 | masterlist | dividers by @uzmacchiato
There are reasons why you should’ve said no to Hange’s idea of a blind date.
One: you’re a princess. Two: you are a princess. Three… Well, you get the point.
The only reason Hange was able to get a yes from you was because the man you’re about to meet is interesting. Very interesting.
Sitting alone on a table meant for two, drinking your third glass of champagne for the past thirty minutes, is bound to get people’s attention. Even in a black layered shoulder-length wig, nude makeup, and a simple mini dress, you still stand out unfortunately. People still stare at you, gossiping about you being stood up. Chances are people are already feasting over a few speculating posts on social media, and more paparazzi are on their way here. You really should’ve put on a pair of colored contacts or silicone prosthetics to better blend in with the crowd.
You take a sip of your champagne. Calm. Collected.
You glance at the empty champagne glass next to your half-filled glass. Your date didn’t ditch you. You’re simply just too early. Too excited. You know the man you are about to meet isn’t someone who will embarrass a woman, but then again, all you have is Hange’s word (and a lot of pictures, thanks them hyping you up.)
Levi Ackerman is an accomplished and very handsome man, one you’re too eager to meet in person.
You look at your watch. Hange did say he’s a punctual guy, so he should be here any minute now.
Another sip the last of your champagne. Refill.
Levi walks into the restaurant a short moment later, closing the top button of his suit. You watch him look around before his eyes eventually find you, widening a little in recognition. Hopefully, your being a royalty doesn’t intimidate him. He won’t be here if he doesn’t want to date a royal, right?
Unless Hange didn’t tell him.
No. You specifically told Hange to let him know. There’s no way they would withhold that information.
You put on a smile and stand up to welcome him. Immediately, you’re met by an inviting scent of mint, apples, and vanilla. Sweet and seductive. You take in his appearance: light grey windowpane checked suit, white dress shirt, and a blue silk cravat with white polka dots.
Ooh. Nice touch.
He clears his throat.
You snap out of your trance, clearing your throat as well. God, it hasn’t even been a minute and you’re already making a fool of yourself.
“Hi!”
“You’re Cameron,” he says with a tone of incredulity. Like he didn’t expect it’s the princess he’s on a date with.
Somehow you think Hange might not have told him.
You tell him your real name because that is who you came here as, not as the princess, “...but Cam’s also fine,” you add quickly. Though you do hope he’ll call you by your real name. “It’s nice to finally meet you,” you shake hands with him.
“Likewise.”
A man of few words, Hange said.
You gesture at him to take a seat. “I already started a drink,” you say as you pour champagne in his glass. “I hope you don't mind.”
His eyes never leave your face. “How long have you been waiting?”
“Not long,” you answer. Then, “actually, I was a little early. Nerves and excitement. Haven’t been on a date in a while.”
He nods simply.
It feels like he doesn’t want to be here. But then again, Hange did tell you Levi often looks like he hates life.
You shrug the thought away. Another sip should calm you down, even if only a little.
Then, you try again.
“So… Do you want to order now?”
“Actually—” he stands up abruptly, and you nearly choke on your drink. “Let’s go somewhere else. I hate the food here.”
“Oh, uh…” you down your champagne. “Let me pay for this first.”
Levi beats you to it, calling a waiter with a bill already in his hands, telling him to keep the change. People watch as he takes your hand and leads you out of the restaurant urgently, as though he hates the whole place itself and not just the food.
You laugh once the doors close. “Well, that was fun.”
Levi smirks, amused.
You realize he’s still holding your hand, and if he does too, he doesn’t show it and he doesn’t let go either. He leads you to the parking lot, past numerous new models of cars in different sizes and colors, to an old model of white Camry with a crisp paint job that makes it look brand new. He goes straight to the passenger seat to open the door for you while you walk slowly in front of the vehicle, fingers running along the smooth edge of its hood cover. It makes a little screech.
“1995,” you remark, looking up at him.
He’s quiet for a second, eyes a little wide in surprise. “You can tell.” He steps back as you approach the door.
“I know a thing or two. My father used to bring me to car shows.” When life was still simple. Life before the tragedy. When not one single person thought your father would be sitting on the throne years later.
“It used to be my Mom’s,” he says.
Sentimental.
The interior’s been overhauled. The seat’s comfortable, dressed in cotton cover instead of leather.
“Can you drive?”
“Haven’t touched a wheel in… eight years,” you sigh, a little surprised it’s been that long.
He nods, closing the door carefully.
The drive to wherever Levi planned to take you is quiet, but it’s not the awkward kind. You sit in silence, watching the buildings change to ones you’re no longer familiar with, until he stops in front of a small restaurant in the traditional Italian style with a rather plain looking signage to announce its name.
“I hijacked our date,” he notes, and you can’t tell if he’s being apologetic. “I just can’t stand the food there.” He hasn't stopped the engine yet, as if offering you a choice to back out.
“It’s alright,” you chuckle. “I did hear one of the diners say the tiramisu wasn’t good. Hard pass, instantly.”
He lets out a sharp exhale that sounds like a laugh. You start to unbuckle your seatbelt.
“Aren’t you worried I’d kidnap you, princess?”
“Honestly? I wouldn’t mind if you did,” you chuckle and get out of the car.
Upon entering the restaurant is a deli for to-go boxes—cold cuts and different kinds of cheese sold per gram. The interior is built with bricks and warmly lit by hanging string lights, the walls filled with fancy wine cellars from top to bottom. At the most inner dining area is a big mural of Birth of Venus by Botticelli, where some people are waiting in line to take pictures. Levi, who doesn’t seem thrilled by the number of people instead, asks if you’d like to dine outside instead. Since the weather’s nice, you agree to dining outside, and a waiter follows you with menus in hand, informing you of their weekends-only offer: cooking your pasta of choice in a massive parmesan wheel for a price inclusive of a drink, the options for the pasta and the sumptuous choices for the sauces, all of which sound enticing to you but not to Levi, sadly.
“Did you want that?” Levi asks once the waiter is gone.
“No,” you answer a little too quickly. He holds your gaze for a moment, unconvinced, so you flash him a smile. “I swear, it’s alright. Then you add, “we can try it next time,” gauging his reaction.
He nods with a little smile before turning his attention to the menu in his hands.
Your eyes flicker to his stylish cravat. Then his hands. His slender fingers. Ugh.
“Is the menu written on my face?” He sounds amused.
You chuckle. “Are you getting pasta?”
“Their frutti di mare is good.” He flips the page.
“I’ll get the truffle pasta… so we can try both,” you say excitedly. “I mean, whatever you’ll get.”
He blinks at you, then looks back at the menu and clears his throat. “Sure.”
“You’ve been here before?”
He flips pages again. “Their pizzas are good.”
Is that an answer?? It doesn't matter, because your heart already sinks a little at the thought of him being here with an ex. Maybe this was her favorite restaurant and he’s come to love it too.
You brush the thought away. “Quattro formaggi?”
He nods in answer. “How about wine?”
You set aside the menu to prop your elbows on the table, your chin at the back of your interlaced fingers. “I hope you’re not trying to get me drunk,” you tease.
He tilts his head to the side. “If I am?”
“Where will you bring me next?” you challenge.
He crosses his knees. “Home.”
“Yours?”
He smirks audibly.
OK. Too much flirting. That’s so unladylike, especially for a princess.
“I’m just kidding,” you chuckle, picking up the menu again. “Let’s go with Pinot Grigio.”
You order a small charcuterie board, served ahead with the wine while the pasta platters and pizza are being prepared. The waiter pours your drinks. You share a toast with Levi. He then takes a cut of guanciale to try while you get a slice of each of the cheese.
You eat in silence, tasting each item on the board. You try to focus on the cheese you’re munching on, stopping yourself from even glancing up at him, but the desire to look at his face is killing you. You like his eyes the most: cold, steel grey orbs that seem to see through you and know just what you’re thinking. Then his lips: pale pink, set in a tight, deadpan line that shouldn’t even look attractive. You wonder what it feels like to kiss those lips (you’ve only ever kissed one guy, that one fuck buddy you had in college). Is Levi a good kisser? How many women have been lucky to feel those lips on their lips?
Lips that are moving slowly as he talks without a sound.
“What?” You snap out of your trance.
“Sixteen seconds,” he says, “that’s how long you’ve been staring at me.”
You let out a sharp breath in disbelief. “I wasn’t staring. I was deliberating over the cheese.”
“Sure, princess.”
Looking away, you grab your glass of wine to take a sip. “I just like the cravat.”
“Can’t miss the chance to impress the princess on our first date.” Levi crosses his arms and his knees, sitting back in his chair, looking relaxed and genuinely curious. “So, what keeps a lady like you busy?”
You hesitate. Not even Hange knows what you’re about to say.
“I’m a web developer and designer.”
He blinks. “You have a job,” he says in disbelief.
“You sound like my parents,” you chuckle.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend.”
“You did not,” you shake your head. “It’s unusual for a princess to have a job after all.” You watch the wine dance in your glass as you gently rotate it. “Before my father was made king we lived a simple life. A normal family with a father and the eldest kid who worked nine to five jobs and a full-time mother who took care of the house. For years, I was a corporate slave,” you pause, a bitter laugh bubbling from your throat. Talking about it now, you feel overwhelmingly nostalgic for the days you freely walked outside. Even when there were chances people would recognize you, they weren’t as invading as they are now that you’re next in line to the throne.
“And then that happened, half of my family gone because of a man who hated the king who’s been dead for decades.” You stop shaking the glass. You think the wine turns red. Like blood.
The criminal hadn’t even been out of prison for a whole month when he was hanged. Some part of you understood him somehow—you still do. He was wrongly accused and he wanted the king who put him in prison to pay for it, so he sought revenge. But that king was already dead. And he refused to let go.
You still blame him for killing your only cousin. You still blame that man every day for putting you where you are now.
“Jeez.” You let out a sharp breath that sounds like a laugh. “I sound like I hate being a royal—which I really do. Sometimes.” You chuckle, ashamed.
“Understandable,” he sympathizes. “You’ve got a billion pairs of eyes watching your every move.”
And you’ve got to find a worthy husband soon, which is already no easy feat even when you aren’t significantly royal yet.
You set your glass on the table. He refills your drink. You shake it, then drink all of it. Uh oh. Your face feels hot. You had a lot of champagne already. It’s about time you slowdown from drinking.
“What about you, Levi? What keeps you busy besides your job?”
“Gym.”
You nearly choke on your wine as thoughts of Levi in a white compression shirt, grey gym joggers, and white training shoes fill your mind like a flash flood. You imagine him on the bench press, earbuds on, the muscles and veins in his arms bulging as he lifts the barbel. Oh, boy. You wish you’d get the chance to see him train sometimes. Maybe even train with him if a relationship blossoms from this first date.
The imagination is short lived when you spot two waiters arriving with your orders.
“Our food’s here!” You squeal excitedly.
He doesn’t respond, only watches you do a little happy dance as the waiters serve your orders. You ask for a hot sauce for the pizza and more parmesan for your pasta, but the waiter regretfully refuses because extra parmesan isn’t on the menu. With a pout, you murmur an “okay,” missing the surprised look on Levi’s face as you smile at the waiter.
There’s a moment of silence as you both begin to eat. You urge Levi to try the truffle pasta and in return, he shares some of his food with you. Throughout dinner, you exchange stuff about yourselves—hobbies, favorite food, likes and dislikes, places you want to go to. You share bits and pieces of your life and how it affects your job. That your parents still strongly disapprove of it, saying it’s not princess-like to be working such a technical job. When Levi asks about how you met Hange, you recount the project you were both assigned to, the business meeting where you met them personally, and how you became friends after. What you don’t say is that they have been encouraging you to meet Levi since then, insisting you’d be perfect for each other. But you were a career-oriented woman. And you almost got pregnant in college, so you couldn’t trust yourself anymore since then. You didn’t want to ruin your life, so you refused Hange until they stopped.
You wish you did not. You wished you enjoyed life more when you were younger and still have more freedom.
If only you knew things would turn out the way they did.
Sadly, your date soon ends, and you can’t help but wonder if Levi feels the same. He insists on paying for dinner despite your offer to chip in. You take home a deli box of cold cuts and cheese for your brother. Levi offers to drive you home, which you have to refuse since your driver is nearby, tasked to follow you around and bring you home at the end of the night.
“I see,” he murmurs.
You smile regretfully. You want to spend more time with him, even if that’s just another thirty minutes. You want to talk a little more, just be in the same space with him and enjoy his presence. The realization that you enjoyed this date more than you anticipated hits you harder than a slap. You can’t remember the last time you enjoyed a man’s company.
Ahh, you wish you could say yes to him. In fact, you do have the choice to say yes to him, but there are certain protocols you need to follow to ensure what happened before won’t happen again.
Besides, you don’t want to put Levi in the spotlight. Not when he just said he doesn’t intend to see you again.
You snap out of your thought bubble. “What?”
“I’m not the right man for you. I don’t want your life.”
He didn’t even hesitate. Ouch.
You feel like someone just splashed a bucket of ice-cold water on your face.
“I’m sorry for wasting your time,” he says, still with the deadpan look that makes you think the apology isn’t genuine at all.
Why date me then? You force a smile. “It’s alright, it was no waste at all. I had fun. And I understand…” you stop, feeling the tremors in your voice.
He nods, taking a step back. “It’s nice meeting you.”
“Likewise,” you manage to utter. “Thank you, Levi, for a good night.”
“Thank you,” he calls you by your name. “Take care of yourself.”
For the first time, you see emotions swirling in his eyes. Doubt? Sympathy? Things he wants to say.
You turn away from each other at the same time. You don’t see him looking back, watching you walk away for a short moment before turning away with a sigh. You walk in the direction of your car, each step sending your heart crumbling until you’re once again the empty girl that you were before this night started.
.
The night hasn’t even ended yet, but Levi’s face is all over the internet already. His phone buzzes every minute as more people find his social media accounts, sending him follower and message requests.
“Fucking Christ.”
His phone rings, the words Four-Eyes written in the caller ID.
“Oh my God, Levi, you’re famous!” They shriek excitedly.
“Fucking— tone it down. You’re on speaker.” Levi glares at the screen of his phone, hoping his friend would feel his frustration through the call. “You didn’t even consider giving me a heads up that it’s the princess I'm going on a date with?”
“You would’ve said no!” they reason out.
“You idiot,” he snaps. “I wouldn’t say no, not when the date’s already set. I could’ve come prepared though.”
Hange chuckles awkwardly. “Well, did you like her?”
“Yes.”
They squeal. “When’s the next date then?”
“There’s no next date.”
“WHAAAAT?! What do you—”
He drops the call.
His phone rings again two seconds later.
“What do you mean there’s no next date? Don’t tell me you rejected her?!”
Levi sighs.
“You rejected her?!” Hange repeats.
He did like you. He enjoyed your company.
Fine. He is stupid for doing that.
But he isn’t going to admit that to Hange. Or to anyone at all.
“I need to drop. I’m entering the highway.”
“No, Levi, you—”
He did the right thing. He’s a nobody. You deserve someone with status, with influence. Someone important just like you.
Clink, clink.
The air feels thick, heavy with tension, suffocating even in a big dining room.
Clank. Clink, clank.
The king doesn’t talk, he just glances at you every once in a while.
You hear it loud and clear.
We had a deal. No second chances.
If the date fails, you do it the traditional way: your hand offered in marriage. Like an auction item.
Never in your life did you think your own father would do this to you.
Oh, if only Levi didn’t say no.
You should’ve known better than to agree to the blind date—you’ve dragged him in a mess. Prince Levi, they already call him, rooting for him, while others question your choice, dating a man who’s unimportant. You hate that they call him that, so much that you reported every post that called him names. You wanted to talk to him, to apologize for the mess you pulled him into, but the Council advised otherwise. The Council also advised against responding to anything, insisting you let them handle everything. You’re pretty certain they reached out to Levi and bribed him into keeping quiet. Later, the PR team released a statement claiming it was just a friendly date between two high school friends.
You put your utensils down.
“You’re done?” asks your mother.
You wipe the side of your mouth. “Yes.”
“You barely ate,” she remarks.
Joshua shifts on his seat. “Are we gonna play Chained Together tonight?”
“Sure.” You pat his head on your way out.
You hear your mother asking, “must we really do this to her?” as the door closes behind you.
You don’t need to stay to know his answer.
There’s no other way.
.
One of the few things you like in the palace is its vast backyard that houses not just ancient oak trees and various colorful flowering bushes and wild plants, but also your private house: a quaint bungalow that only you have access to, hidden from the meddlesome world outside. A large pond sits at the side, with stepping stones leading to the center, where you would sit to feed and watch the koi carps, goldfishes, and mosquitofishes. Afterwards, you’d head inside and grab some snacks from the pantry before going to the living room, where your work and gaming desks are set up next to a wall-mounted TV, a fireplace and an oversized bean bag. You sit on the couch, munching popcorn as you watch an anime show. Two hours later you hear a loud buzz, a notification that someone is at the backdoor. You check the ring camera from your phone to confirm your visitors before letting them in. You turn the TV off, wash the bowl you used then put it back in the cupboard, drink water, use the restroom, head back to the pantry to grab a bottle of wine and a glass, then head to the only "bedroom" in the house.
Your biggest secret.
You switch the cove lights on. Dim. Casting a soft and warm glow against wine red velvet walls. A full height, dark oak cabinet stands next to the door, and at the center of the room are a rococo-style cabriole couch with gold frames and wine-red velvet cushions, a wine-red leather chaise lounge, and a small dark oak long coffee table, where you set aside the wine and glass. A two-way mirror separates the lounge area from the bedroom; its walls covered in the same wine-red velvet. A dark oak bedside table sits next to a queen-sized bed covered in white and wine-red sheets and pillows dressed in wine-red cases. On the bed is a couple. Naked. Making out.
You sit on the cabriole couch, knees crossed, fingers laced together over your knee, and watch the couple start to get handsy. But it hasn’t even been a minute, yet when you stand up and take your clothes off, leaving them in a pool on the ground as you turn towards the cabinet, opening the doors and revealing a huge collection of sex toys. Collars, cuffs, vibrators, clit suckers, dildos—some of which are still in their packages, opened but never used. You have your favorites. Like the pair of black nipple clamps with fur pom-poms and a pastel red vibrator with a plump and ribbed shaft and rabbit ears-like clit tickler.
As always, not wanting to spoil the velvets of the cabriole couch, you lay on the chaise lounge instead, feet flat on the cushion so that your knees are folded up and spread apart. You place the nipple clamps on the areola, twisting the screws to slightly tighten the jaws until you feel a pulling and pinching sensation that fades to a dull ache over time. The pom-poms brushing against your underboobs send tingly sensations across your nerves, helping in the buildup of your arousal. You’ve always liked that feeling, like barely-there touches. You wet your fingers with your saliva, then the shaft of the vibrator, sliding it in and out of your mouth as if it’s a cock.
On the other side of the mirror, the man begins to suck on the woman’s tit. You watch his tongue twirling around the nipple until it’s stiff, while the other he works with his fingers, pinching and pulling. And then he trails lower, kissing and sucking down her stomach, until his face is between her thighs. You start the vibrator, wet your fingers some more to smear saliva on your cunt, and then press the vibrating shaft against your clit, making your breath hitch and your body twitch at the sudden yet very welcome stimulation. Up and down, you rub the shaft against your clit and between your folds, teasing a poke at your hole, letting out little moans while you watch the man push up the woman’s thighs against her stomach to eat her cunt. You wonder how good his tongue feels. It must be fucking heaven, how slowly he laps up her folds and then sucks on her cunt. Fuck, you wish that’s you on the bed with him. It’s been years since a man pleased you really good.
Eventually the man straightens up. The woman keeps her legs folded against her stomach, and you watch him slapping the head of his cock against her cunt. You position the tip of the shaft of the vibrator against your hole, and as he slowly thrusts into her, you gently insert the shaft on your vagina, pushing and pushing until the slender arms of the tickler are touching your clit. You switch the vibration mode: an exchange of deep one-second vibrations between the shaft and the ticklers, stimulating your G-spot and clit. You let out a low moan, spreading your legs further apart until your foot slips to the ground. God, you miss the feeling of a cock in you. You crave the sounds of heavy breaths, the skin against skin, the warmth of flesh. You crave real pleasure, the body connection.
A pair of steel grey eyes flashes in your head.
A moan slips from your mouth, and then a name.
Levi.
You nearly sit up in surprise, but then your climax hits you, sending your body shuddering violently.
Images of Levi flash before your eyes, naked, positioned between thighs, holding your right feet up and over his shoulder, your left leg pinned under his thighs as he slams his cock into you. You imagine clothes scattered around, the two of you on this very couch, panting, moaning, covered in sweat, fucking you senseless. Another wave hits you, and you aren’t sure if you’re orgasming twice or your orgasm’s lasting longer than usual. In your mind, you hear him calling you princess with that smirk on his lips.
“Feels good, princess?” You hear his voice loud and clear. You feel his touch, caressing your hip and then settling on your stomach as he fills you up with his cum.
Your eyes roll to the back of your head so hard you see white. You pull the vibrator out of your cunt, dropping it on the couch between your thighs, where it continues to vibrate intensely against the leather. Eyes shut tight, you pant loudly, chest rising and falling like angry sea waves as you lie limply on the lounge, cum dripping from your vagina and to the cushions.
When your eyes flicker open again and find the couple who are still fucking on the bed, all you could see is you lying on your stomach while Levi fucks you from behind.
You watch the men gather in the grand from where you stand on the second floor, all eleven of them acting like they’re friends with each other, talking to one another with fake smiles and laughter. Three of them are princes from other countries and the rest are men with high profiles: a politician, three celebrities, and four businessmen. One of the princes is twelve years younger than you, two of the businessmen have greying hairs and are twenty years older than you, and one is a divorcee. You understand now why they kept you out of the screening—if any screening did happen. None of these men would’ve made it here if you did the background check yourself.
Out of the eleven, you strike out four instantly: the young prince and the three businessmen. Marrying a politician is also a no-no. You find their lifestyle repulsive. Celebrities’ too. They hide so much behind the cameras. That’s eight out of eleven already, leaving you only the two princes and one businessman.
One who you wish is Levi.
You bite back the pathetic laugh that threatens to spill from your mouth.
Such a shame you let him walk away from you. You should’ve pursued him.
A kitchen staff approaches the group, offering wine. Your father joins them a moment later, his own glass of wine raised.
“Gentlemen.”
“Your Majesty.” The pigs bow their heads slightly.
“Plus points to anyone who can tell what wine this is,” your father challenges, and you can’t help but huff incredulously.
“Commandaria. Cyprus,” says the divorcee proudly. “The world’s oldest continually produced wine.”
Your father looks up at you, as if you ought to keep track of these men’s points.
“You know a lot about wines, Your Majesty,” says one of the celebrities.
“My daughter does,” he corrects, looking up at you again, this time a little fondly. “I take after her.” The group chuckles. The King beckons you to come and join them, but you only stare. To spite him. He only smiles and turns back to the men around him.
“Princess,” the tall guy dressed in black and white suit raises his glass towards you. You recognize him from a few game release live streams you saw back then. “I heard you are a gamer,” he remarks with a curious smile.
“I am.”
“Jean Kirstein, Your Highness. I’m a fan. I watched your live streams when you were still streaming,” he brags.
“Kiss ass,” scoffs the dark-brown haired celebrity with a sleek man-bun.
Eren Yeager. You’ve seen some of his movies. He’s a good actor. Too bad he’s not your kind of person.
“Huh?!” Jean turns to him with a glare.
“Hush, you kids! Not in front of the princess,” chides the 54-year old businessman.
Whoever decided to let these men who are twenty years older than you join this stupid competition is an idiot.
Another kitchen staff approaches the King. You take that as a sign to head to the grand dining hall. Gotta get this over and done with, you think begrudgingly.
Across the King you sit, watching eleven strangers sit around the long table, their chins held high and their chest puffed. Every second is a competition, and they can’t afford to look unworthy. Funny. If you really have a choice, you would’ve sent all of them home already.
Throughout the meal, your “suitors” talked with the King as if it's his hand they are competing for in marriage, so eager to know more about the royal life and what power they would have should they become royalty. You’ve hated this kind of talk. Even when you or your parents weren’t directly involved in it, only listening to your grandpa and your uncle discuss such matters during family dinners when they were still alive.
The only one who shows interest is Jean, asking simple questions such as what do you like doing other than gaming, the places you want to go to, your favorite food. He’d say stuff about himself, as if this is a date where you’re getting to know each other, except Eren and Caleb are with you, both Jean would encourage to share too. You can’t tell if he’s just that good a person or he’s setting himself up to win.
Well, on the brighter side, he’s making things easier for you. He’s someone you can vibe with. He was a game developer before he became CTO of the company. Playing games can be one of your bonding activities, and your brother will like him too. Telling him your secret shouldn’t be a problem as well. He doesn’t seem like a judgmental person.
That’s it. You made your choice. Gotta get this over and done with, you remind yourself.
“Everyone.” You clear your throat.
Silence erupts. Twelve pairs of eyes turn in your direction, you keep yours glued to the king, urging yourself to speak.
“I would like to—”
The doors swing open.
The guards try to get hold of Joshua, who rushes in and announces, “big sis, you have a phone call!”
“Joshua, you shouldn’t be here,” says the King.
“It’s an emergency!” He reasons out, shoving his phone onto your hand.
It’s from an unknown number. You answer tentatively, thoughts racing in your head, thinking who it could be. The answer comes in a familiar voice shrieking your name, so loud it makes you flinch.
“Hange?”
“Maydaaaaay!!”
Oh.
Oh.
“They won’t let us in!!” Hange cries out.
“What’s happening?” asks the King.
“Your guards won’t let us in is what’s happening, Your Lord Majesty!”
“Us?” Your brows knit together. “Who’s us?”
There’s a funny feeling in your chest.
You stand up, thinking you already know the answer.
There’s a loud rustle, then Hange’s distant voice as they shout, “come on, talk to the princess!”
“Let the guards take care of it.” The King lets out a heavy sigh, running out of patience. “Put the phone down. Now.”
You meet his eyes with a defiant gaze. He says your name—your real name—in a voice so low but with alarm bells blaring in the background.
Ah, fuck it. Your only hope is right outside, waiting for the gates to let them in—to let him in.
So, that’s what you tell the guard, who, after a short moment of contemplation, meekly answers “yes, Your Highness.”
The chair shrieks against the marbled floor as the king gets up from his chair, glaring daggers in your way. “Sit down.”
“Pardon, Your Majesty,” a slight incline of your head. “I have guests to tend to.”
“Your guests are here.”
You turn to everyone on the table and excuse yourself with a curtsy. The King calls you by your name. A final warning.
You choose to ignore it.
Joshua follows you out of the dining hall, and when the doors close, you ruffle his hair, telling him he did a good job.
“You owe me primogems!” he grins and scurries away.
You march in the direction of the front doors, anxious yet excited. It’s got to be Levi—it has to be Levi.
The guards bow to you in greeting before opening the doors, and you quietly walk along the grand hall, your hands sweating, almost tripping on your heels as your pace quickens. Another pair of guards greet you before pushing the doors open, revealing the car that’s parked at the drop-off area and your guests, Hange and a tall blond, leaning against the side of the car, arms and feet crossed.
No Levi.
“There she is!” Hange smacks their hands together, pushing themselves off the car.
You force out a smile. Surely you didn’t just disobey the king for nothing?
“Come on!” They smack you on the back, nearly sending you tumbling forward. “You don’t look so thrilled to see us!”
“Of course I am,” you chuckle, awkward.
The blond guy steps towards you, offering a hand. “Princess, it’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Erwin Smith, their boss.”
“Their boss,” you murmur, turning to Hange.
“What? Bosses have bosses too!”
You roll your eyes at them. “That’s not what I meant.”
“I hope we’re not too late,” says Erwin.
Your lips part, but not even a small sound comes out of your throat. You can’t imagine yourself with this guy. Heck, you can’t imagine him joining this stupid contest at all. He doesn’t seem that desperate.
“No. Certainly not—”
The car door opens. A black brogue boot appears, followed by the next of the pair. A man comes out of the car, dressed in a light mid-grey suit and a white dress shirt with a blue and black patterned silk cravat.
God, you love his cravats.
“Levi.” Your voice is almost inaudible.
He slams the door closed and walks up to you, taking your hand and kissing the back of it. “Sorry, I’m late. Hange’s a shitty driver. Got pulled up by the police twice for beating the red light.”
“Hey, I got you here in one piece!” Hange points out.
Levi scowls. “We almost crashed.”
“Missed a police car by a hair’s breadth,” adds Erwin.
Hange throws their hands in the air frustratingly. “You’re supposed to say she looks good in her dress! What happened to our rehearsal?!”
Levi rolls his eyes, turning to you, and in that split second his gaze softens. You get it, what he wants to say.
You squeeze his hand gently.
“I thought you didn’t want this,” you gesture to your surroundings.
“I don’t,” he confirms, and your heart drops. “But I like you.”
Now your heart would’ve jumped out of your chest if it could only break through your ribs. In your peripherals, you see Hange hitting Erwin’s arm.
“And I’ll be fine. I can tolerate all these—” he gestures widely to the mansion behind you, “—just fine.”
You narrow your eyes at him. “That isn’t rehearsed, is it?”
“No,” he smiles softly.
You can’t help the big smile that nearly splits your face in half. “Well then, Prince Levi,” you tease, offering your hand to him with the palm up, “shall we make a scene?”
He smirks, placing his hand on yours. “Princess.”
“Wait!” Hange shrieks. “Please tell me there are desserts for us!”
A laugh bubbles from your chest. “You know where the pantry is.”
Levi throws you a funny look. “Hange’s really been here?”
“Told ‘ya!” The person in question pipes up.
You start pulling Levi into the mansion. “I hope you’re ready to meet the king.”
“Can’t wait,” he deadpans.
Hange and Erwin are taken to the kitchen by the palace maids. You walk towards the towering doors of the grand dining hall with Levi, your heart hammering in your chest. When the guards reach for the door handles, you stop them. Your stomach’s churning. Your father will certainly recognize Levi. He’s seen the pictures. He’ll definitely call the guards to drag him out of the palace.
You think you’re going to puke. You’ll embarrass yourself in front of everyone, in front of Levi, and he’ll find you disgusting—
His fingers lace with yours, and when you turn to look at him, he tells you, “we’ll make this work.”
“There’s no turning back after this,” you emphasize. “This isn’t like our first date. This is the real thing. And there’s still stuff about me you—”
“I know,” he cuts you off, his voice soft, but his hold in your hand firm, keeping you grounded. “I am sure.”
That feels enough. That is enough.
“Okay,” you breathe, shoulders relaxing.
“You’re hesitating,” he murmurs.
You shake your head. “Just anxious. It’s my dad I’m worried about.”
“There’s no turning back after this,” he returns, squeezing your hand and then tugging you closer. “You’re stuck with me now.”
You can’t help but chuckle. He smiles faintly.
With a single nod from you, the guards push the doors open. Eleven pairs of eyes turn to your direction. Quiet. Speculating. If they recognize Levi, they don’t show it.
“Everyone,” you clear your throat, “I want you all to meet Prince Levi.”
The king turns to two of you at last, his eyes cold, unimpressed. He eyes Levi from head to toe, then picks his glass of wine and takes a sip.
The 54-year old scoffs. “What is this, a joke?”
“He isn’t even a participant.” The politician tosses his serviette on the table.
“You wasted our time!” spats the other old guy. “You humiliated us!”
The glassware and utensils clink as the king slams his knuckle against the table. “I will not have my daughter disrespected in our own house.” He speaks in a low yet furious voice, turning to the enraged men. “Leave.”
“You say that to us after she toyed with us?” the politician questions.
Eren sighs loudly. “It’s not like you were going to win anyway.”
“Excuse me?” His nostrils flare.
“Leave,” the King repeats, louder, firmer, “before the guards drag you out of the palace.” And as if to emphasize, the guards step forward, one by your right side and the other, Levi’s left. The king slightly inclines his head, an eyebrow raised at the fuming politician. “You wouldn’t want that as that would be more humiliating, would you?”
One by one they leave the grand dining hall, stomping like children throwing tantrums, until the only ones left are Jean, Eren, and the three princes, all seemingly unaffected by the unexpected turn of events. The empty seats have been cleared. Clean plates and utensils are provided to you and Levi, followed by a fresh batch of food. You sit next to your father, who hasn’t spoken a word after the other candidates left. He’s only been drinking wine. He hasn’t even spared Levi a glance at all ever since he sat on the table! You can’t tell if he’s angry—well, he is angry, but this isn’t his usual anger. He’s uncharacteristically quiet. Like he’s waiting for either you or Levi to crack. Perhaps, a test?
No matter. He can’t treat Levi like this. You won’t allow that.
You empty your glass of wine. Then, a deep breath, ready to say—
“What made you change your mind?”
You press your lips shut and turn to Levi.
They talked. After the date. Your father reached out to Levi indeed, and knowing him, he might’ve struck a deal.
“I like her,” Levi says simply.
“You like the title,” the king suggests.
Levi meets your eyes. You offer a small smile. It doesn’t matter, you want to tell him, it doesn’t matter if he’s into the title more than you. You like him enough that you think you can share your secret with him and that’s all that matters. You can live with that. You can live with him.
But you like to hear what he has to say too. He was certain when he said he doesn’t want this life, so really, what made him change his mind?
“I liked that she was able to tell what year my car was made in just one look.”
Your breath catches in your throat.
The king takes a while before he finally responds with a smile. “She enjoyed going to car shows when she was a kid.”
“If she wants to drive again,” Levi continues, “I’d like to see through that. I want her to be able to go to places by herself, with or without her driver or me.”
“Road trips,” you murmur, grinning when he answers with a nod.
You miss the way your father’s eyes soften at the exchange. It’s gone the moment Levi looks back to him.
“I like that she gets excited over food, and that she didn’t use her status to get more parmesan for her pasta.”
You bite back the giggle that threatens to spill from your mouth. Oh, God. You think your heart’s about to explode.
“I liked that she shared her food with me.”
Your heart does somersaults in your chest.
“I want us to go out more often. Have picnics. Travel in and out of the country. I want to watch her little happy dances whenever she’s excited. I want…” he turns to you, his gaze softening, “I want to get to know her better.”
Instinctively, you wet your lips, then reach for his face, pulling him into a kiss. He blinks in surprise, a tint of red blooming on his cheeks.
Your father lets out a sigh, but when you turn to face him, you find him smiling. “I’m glad my daughter met you,” he says, picking up his wine glass. “I haven’t seen her this happy in a while.” The softness of his voice makes your eyes water. He raises his glass, and everyone else follows. “A toast to the prince and princess.”
The others chorus a “to the prince and princess,” raising their glasses to honor you and Levi.
“To us.” You raise your glass towards Levi.
He smiles. “To us.”
There’s a gentle knock on the door, followed by Hange shouting “Oi, Shorty! Lunch break’s over!”
“Is that Hange?” asks your father.
“Yes, papa.” You turn to Levi, who looks dismayed. “Work?”
“Yeah,” he sighs. “I’ll stay if you want me to.”
“You have meetings.” He would’ve cancelled if they weren't important. “Come back tonight?”
He nods and gets up. You watch him approach the king to shake hands with, not expecting he’d receive a quick hug from your father as well. Levi nods to the other guests in respect, and they once again congratulate him. Then, he turns to you and kisses your hand with a promise to see you later. You catch Hange waving at you as the door closes.
Your father smiles. You can’t believe he’d accept Levi so quickly. You’re glad he did.
(He later tells you “I’m still your father, okay? And I want you to be happy first and foremost.” after you enveloped him in a tight hug.)
.
Levi does come back later that night, bringing with him sleeping clothes and a few sets of casual outfits for the weekend. You introduce him to your mother and brother before touring him around the mansion, the dining room being your last destination for some snacks and drink. You stand opposite each other on the bar table, exchanging stories over cheese, crackers and a glass of wine you’re sharing between the two of you. Each time it’s his turn to drink, you’d watch how he rotates the glass first so that the side where your lips touched faces his way. He’d pick up the glass, swirl the wine, and then drink, his eyes glued to your face while yours are on his lips, which he would later lick clean.
Well, fuck.
Standing on your toes, you bend as close as you could towards Levi and he smirks, eyes flickering to your lips. You take the wine glass back to refill it, pretending you aren’t feeling the way he’s staring at your lips as you drink, like he’s so close to tugging you towards him for a kiss. You swallow slowly, grab some crackers to eat, then pour wine into the glass for his turn. You aren’t sure who makes the contact first: Levi, when he puts his fingers over yours to receive the glass, or you, learning towards him to get a kiss. One thing’s for sure: you both like it, judging the way he’s hurriedly walking around the table to get to your side, how you immediately reach for his arms to close the gap between your faces, and how deeply he sucks in a breath when his lips crash into yours, as if he wants to breathe you in. His hands move down to the sides of your neck, his touch sending electricity through your nerves, frying your body.
You pull away, breathless as you say “we have to go. Mom drinks milk at nine-thirty!” You grab the bottle of wine, downing the remaining two glasses in it. Levi watches, eyes wide in surprise, and then laughs. You let out a huff, feeling bloated in an instant, and drag him through the hall and back to your room.
His mouth is on your lips the moment the door closes, neither of you bothering to turn the lights on. His hand won’t stop roaming all over back, fingers slipping under your shirt a few times, eliciting little moans from you. If his skin against your skin can only catch fire, you’ll be ashes now.
You’ve never felt this alive for such a long time.
Levi pulls away briefly. “We’re not in a rush to get married, are we?”
“No,” you chuckle, kissing him again. “Though, I believe, my parents are in a hurry for a grandchild.”
He hums, catching your lips in a heated kiss that sucks the air right out of your lungs. Levi breathes heavy, as if he’s been holding back for so long and is still holding back at the same time. His hands find the small of your back, fingers slipping under your shirt, sending a jolt through your nerves that makes you pull at his cravat to get him even closer. You grind your hips into his, and when you feel his hard-on through his suit trousers, you can’t help but smile against his lips. A gasp escapes your mouth, followed by a chuckle, when he lifts you so easily from the floor, as if you’re nothing but a doll to him. You wrap your legs around his waist, and without breaking the kiss, he walks to your bed, where he lays you gently. He props himself up and stares at you, your hands laced together above your head. Even in the dark, you find his eyes pretty, his steel grey irises that seem to glow faintly like moonlight. Maybe it’s just the alcohol in your system that makes you see things, makes you feel things. Like how sweet his breath tastes or how hot his body feels against yours. Or how your hands fit together as if you’re meant to be holding each other. Or how the way he’s looking at you makes you feel like you’re the only woman in the world.
“I liked your dress today, you look good in it. The red ribbons look good on white.”
You hum, nuzzling his nose.
“Couldn’t stop imagining myself untying them.”
“Naughty prince,” you scold playfully. “You should’ve told me earlier, so I would’ve kept it on for you to live your dream tonight.”
He smirks. “Plenty of chances to do that.” When he kisses you this time, it’s gentle and slow. He lets go of your hands only to comb his fingers in your hair. Your hands move to his waist, slipping under the suit and grabbing at his shirt to pull it out of slacks.
“Levi,” you sigh into his mouth. He breaks from the kiss only for his lips to trail along your jaw. “There’s something I need to show you tomorrow before we get really serious about this.”
He hums in question against your neck.
“It might change the way you look at me.”
He pulls away completely this time and eyes you curiously. “Any hint?”
You avoid his gaze, looking at his cravat instead as you fidget with it. “It’s… about sex. Or something like that.”
“Hmm.”
You straighten his already creaseless shirt. “You’ll see tomorrow.”
“Trying to get me to back out?” He kisses your lips. Then your chin.
“I hope not,” you sigh in his hair.
“Nothing—” he presses a kiss on the side of your neck, “about you—” a kiss on your jugular notch, “will make me—” a kiss between your chest, “back out.”
You chuckle. “But we haven’t had sex yet,” you point out.
“You smell so good,” he murmurs against your stomach, biting at the hem of your shirt and then pushing it up. You rake your fingers through his fringe, pulling the strands back to make him look up at you while his nose and lips trail down your lower belly.
“I’ve been waiting for this.”
He kisses you through your underwear and pyjamas. “Me too.”
“I bet…” you spread your knees apart for him, “you couldn’t stop dreaming of me like this while you were at work.”
Levi smirks audibly, and after one more press of his lips against your clothed sex, he straightens up and pulls your underwear and pyjamas down post-haste. A frenzied grin breaks through your mouth as you lift your legs quickly, and then he leans forward to quickly rid you of your shirt and bra. He wastes no time, burying his face between your tits, breathing in the smell of your skin before pressing wet kisses along the valley of your chest. You reach for the collar of his suit, desperate to get him naked as well, but it’s as if he’s gone mad and wouldn’t stop kissing all over your chest to let you undress him. You sigh out his name in plea, pushing at the shoulders of his suit, but he only murmurs “just let me” before his mouth feasts on your left tit. You arch your chest towards him, your fingers settling in his hair instead as his mouth moves to your other tit, tongue twirling around the nipple until it’s stiff. You sigh his name again, but he refuses to stop, alternating between your tits, replacing with his fingers what his mouth couldn’t reach. The only time he moves away from your chest is when you cry out “please!” He pulls at the nipple, letting it go with a pop before he starts placing a trail of sucking kisses on your stomach. Lips parted, you pant loudly, each puff complemented by the press of his lips on your skin and the little sounds they make.
But his lips don't make it to your pubic mound just yet. Levi straightens up. You bite back a grumble, pressing your lips together as you watch him finally take his coat off and toss it somewhere behind him. He pauses to take you in, eyes roaming all over your body, lingering a second longer on your chest and then your pussy. He leans forward, hooks his hands under your knees, and pushes them forward until they’re touching your breasts. Even when he straightens up again and lets go of your knees, you keep them firm against your chest.
“Look at you,” he praises.
You smile, sickly sweet, making your cunt clench and unclench around nothing. Levi smirks, pressing his fingertip oh-so-lightly on your clit, circling the nub before dragging his finger down your folds.
“Oh, Levi,” you sigh, pussy lips clenching around the tip of his finger that’s slightly poking your hole.
He twists his hand, gathering your slick at the pad of his finger.
“Stop teasing!” You grumble.
He leans forward, planting his left hand on the mattress by your waist while he rubs along your folds with the other. “What would you have me do, princess?”
Your breath catches in your throat when he nudges at your hole. But that’s all you get. A little nudge every few seconds, between circling your clit and spreading your lips with his slender fingers.
“Fuck me,” you demand.
He hums in thought. “Not tonight.”
“What?” You snap.
He leans forward to press a kiss on your lips, then your chin, slowly along each of your clavicles, down your cleavage and each of your nipples, flicking them with his tongue. He bites lightly at the flesh above the areola of your right breast and then sucks hard until the skin blooms red. You let out a breathy moan of his name, pleading, and he only answers with “not tonight, princess.” Firm. Decided. He trails down your stomach, bites again at the mound, and then breathes in your scent when he presses his nose against the inside of your thigh.
“God, Levi, can’t you be a little more eager?”
He smirks against your inner left thigh. “Oh, I am eager, my lady, just appreciating what is being offered to me right now.” A kiss, wet and loud, then he sucks on the skin until a red patch appears.
“Please, Levi…”
He silences you with a hush, blowing warmth against your cunt, causing your body to shudder.
He focuses on your clit, kissing, sucking, each pull at the hood by his lips making you pant a little heavier. You spread your legs as far apart as possible and reach for his head, tangling your fingers in his hair. Levi looks up at you, and the way your tits are pressed together between your arms makes him groan against your cunt. He grabs one of your breasts, squeezing and pinching at the nipple with an intensity that makes you twitch and moan louder. With the fingers of his other hand, he spreads your pussy lips apart for his tongue to slick up your folds, opening you up to give way to his fingers plunging into your cunt. You gasp, walls clenching around his middle and index fingers, squeezing out slick that makes him pull out his fingers just so he can lick you up and taste. You bring your ankles to his back, squeezing your legs on either side of his head. Such a euphoric feeling, his nose against your mound, mouth working your clit while his fingers are scissoring your insides. Your grip in his hair tightens, your toes curl in, your ankles dig harder into his back as you start humping his face. Levi continues to fuck you with his fingers even when he starts to feel like his ears are about to explode.
And it’s all worth it when your thighs begin to tremble against his ears and all you can say is his name in many ways his brain recognizes: pleading him for more, praising his work, announcing you’re close. It’s all worth it when he begins to hump the mattress too, grinding his still-clothed cock through the offending fabrics while he sucks your cunt harder. He looks up at your face and finds you looking down at him, only for you to show him a frenzied smile, then your eyes rolling back and your head thrown back to the pillow as your body shudders. You shove your feet into the mattress as you cry out his name, gripping his hair as you guide his face up and down your twitching cunt. Levi grunts, sucks the cum out of your hole while he, too, starts to spoil his clothes.
“My God,” you chuckle breathlessly when his mouth finds your lips again. Your taste in his mouth to yours doesn’t even bother you anymore, having used to it already when you would get too curious while pleasing yourself.
“I might’ve spoiled your sheets,” he murmurs, looking down at the bed between your legs.
“You finished?”
“Yeah.” He settles on top of you, nuzzling your neck.
You cling to him like a koala, arms around his shoulders and legs around his waist. “That’s good. Even better if you were inside me.”
“Not tonight.”
“You’re annoying.”
He chuckles against your clavicle. Then he kisses it. “May I use the bathroom?”
“Of course. Everything here is also yours.”
You hope Levi won't get tired of you. It’s been years since you had someone to cling to in your sleep.
The walk to your private house is quiet. You can’t figure out if he's just enjoying the scenery or he’s mulling over a hundred possible ideas about what he’s about to find out. This part of the palace grounds isn’t known to the public after all, so you wouldn’t be surprised if he’s too stunned to speak at the moment. You show him to the pond, where you stand in the middle and kiss for a while until you remember you’re there to feed the fishes. You then lead him into the house, and he hasn’t even toured the whole kitchen yet, when he pulls you into a kiss and your tongues are in each other’s mouths. You push him onto the bean bag, where you straddle him and kiss even more. You fumble for the buttons of his shirt. He reaches around your shoulders to unzip your dress. But by the time you’re pulling him up to remove his shirt and he’s unhooking your bra while kissing down your chest, a loud buzz startles you both.
“I thought no one else comes here?”
“From the family.” You pluck your phone from the pocket of his jeans (you asked him to keep it since your dress is pocketless) to let the couple in. You take your bra off and drape it over the headrest of your work chair—no use in keeping it on since the chances of you getting naked later are high. You do ask him to zip your dress up for you. Then, you take his hand and drag him out of the seat, leading him to the room. Backwards you walk, gauging Levi’s reaction when the cove lights switch on. His eyes are on the other side of the room first, still empty since the couple is still preparing. You watch Levi walk around, his eyes moving to the cabriole couch, then the chaise lounge, and when he finds nothing interesting, he walks to the glass and touches it.
“Two-way?”
“Yes.”
“Huh.”
You hear it, the amusement in his tone.
He turns away, gaze falling upon the cabinet. “I assume there aren't any clothes inside.”
“Mhm.” You stand with your back against the cabinet, arms on your back as you hold the handles. This is it, you think. You’re going to have your biggest secret told soon.
Behind Levi, the couple finally appears, walking to the bed, naked like always. Levi must’ve noticed your gaze isn’t on him, so he turns to face the glass again. He pauses, so quiet even his breathing can’t be heard. His attention is fixed on the couple who starts their performance. Sloppy kisses, hands everywhere. Then, the man carries his partner to bed, where they share more kisses before he whispers something in her ear. They exchange positions so that he now lies under her, stroking the top of her head as she peppers his skin with kisses.
“How long?” asks Levi.
“A year,” you answer in a quiet voice. “But they aren’t the first.”
Levi turns to face you completely, and it sucks that you can’t tell what he’s thinking. He’s so good at that, maintaining an impassive gaze, suppressing his emotions.
“There was another couple. For two years.” You’ve got no choice but to go on. You’re here now. He’s going to find out one way or another.
“And you only watch?”
“Kinda.” You turn away to finally open the cabinet, its doors heavier than you remember, like they’re trying to stop you from embarrassing yourself further. With the contents bared, you can’t make yourself face Levi just yet, afraid that this time you’ll see a sliver of anything the screams not good on his face. Disappointment. Disgust. Ashamed of getting involved with a person who’s sick in the head.
“Huh.”
There it is again, the amusement in his voice.
You face him, lips parting in surprise when you find him approaching.
“You’ve used all this?”
“N—no. Only some. The rest are just for collection.”
“I see,” he hums, now standing by your side, eyes roaming all over the sex toys. Levi murmurs your name in a low and gravelly voice that makes your insides churn, and says “you always surprise me, princess.” He faces you, and your breath catches in your throat. There it is again, the glint in his eyes, the gaze that makes you feel things.
Levi steps between you and the cabinet, so close that your noses nearly touch. You hold your ground, keeping your eyes glued to his.
When he speaks again, his voice is quieter. “This is what you’re afraid to tell me?” He steps forward, forcing you to step back until you hit the couch. “You thought this would disgust me and turn me away?”
“Yes,” you answer firmly even though deep inside, you feel ablaze and already melting.
“It did.”
Your heart drops in your chest but you keep your cool, pretending it doesn’t bother you. You should’ve known better than to tell Levi. You should’ve just stopped this, should’ve just fired the couple and locked this room up. Now he’s going to leave you and this time, he will never come back.
You feel his hand on your hip, almost at the top of your ass cheek, there but barely touching.
“It made me want you even more.”
Before you can even digest what he just said, his mouth crashes into yours, stealing the air right out of your lungs. The suddenness of it pushes you against the couch, causing it to slide back with a screech that would’ve made you jump if he isn’t pressing his pelvis against yours, letting you feel his growing hard-on through his jeans. The pressure that’s been building in your belly turns to something positive. His other hand finds your hip, pulling you against him, grinding his hips into yours. Your lips part as you moan into the kiss, and Levi slips his tongue into your mouth. You grab him by the collars of his shirt as you meet his tongue with your own. You need him. You want him so fucking bad.
And you own him.
Levi pulls away, leaving you reeling and panting.
“Show me what you learned from these two.”
You smirk, accepting the challenge. You grab at the part of his shirt that’s still buttoned and drag him around the couch. You push him to sit on the velvet cushion, positioning your knees between his parted ones as you lean forward for a chaste kiss. Slowly, you unbutton the rest of his shirt to finally get rid of it, tossing it somewhere behind you. You lean in for another kiss, slow and steady this time, but when he reaches for your face with his hands, you pull away to tell him, “no touching.” You don’t wait for an answer, capturing his lips in another slow kiss while your hands roam all over his chest, feeling his pecks, teasing the nipples. Levi stays still, but you feel the tension in his stomach when he arches his back slightly, gravitating to your touch. Slowly, your mouth inches along his jaw, to the skin under his ear. You place a trail of featherlight kisses down the side of his neck, smirking against his hot skin when you feel him tilting his head in your direction. “You’re cheating,” you whisper in his ear before moving down to his shoulder, “you’re lucky I’m in a good mood.” His chest heaves, but you can’t tell if it’s because of the sucking kisses you’re placing along his collarbone or if it’s because you’re teasing his erection through his jeans with a barely-there touch of your finger.
“Want me to take it off?” You ask sweetly.
“Whatever you want,” he croaks.
You kiss him on the mouth, a reward for leaving you the choice. With your eyes locked on his eyes, you unbutton his jeans and zip it open. “Up,” you instruct, and Levi lifts his hips off the couch for you to pull his pants down, leaving him in his boxer shorts. “My, my…”
He keeps his eyes on your face. He doesn’t need to look down to know he’s leaking through—
“Fuck!” He chokes out when you tap the head of his cock that’s poking against the wet fabric. It twitches after the touch, releasing more precum. He sighs out your name, frustrated.
“Patience, my prince,” you say against his mouth, feeling his hot breath against your lips. Another chaste kiss, then you trail down his chest, kissing softly the skin of his pectorals before focusing on his nipples, swirling your tongue around the stiff nubs. Levi shudders under your touch, breathing heavily through gritted teeth, knuckles turning white as his grip on the cushion tightens. With half-lidded eyes, he watches you move down his stomach, lips trailing along the narrow space between his abs, stopping right where his happy trail starts with a loud playful peck. Planting your hands on the cushion on each side of his knees, you look up at him and smile innocently.
“Still good?”
A sliver of emotion passes on his face. “Come on,” he sighs.
“Whatever happened to being patient?” You giggle, caressing his right chest.
“Been fucking patient enough,” he grumbles.
Your hand slides south, the tip of your fingers gliding along his abs. The sensation makes his cock twitch in the confines of his boxers.
“Fine, fine,” you sing-sang—you’re eager yourself, after all—hooking your index fingers over the garters to pull his boxers down. Levi’s cock springs free, twitching again in the sudden cold, its head glistening from being coated in so much pre-cum. The view makes your mouth water. He looks so delicious, like a melting ice cream that you can’t stop imagining you’re licking.
“Did they turn you on too?” You tease with a tap at his cockhead.
“Just fucking take me.” (But what he wants to say is that he hasn’t even so much as glanced at the couple behind you ever since you sat on the couch. You’re all he cares about. You’re all he wants to look at.)
“So impatient,” you remark in a playful scolding tone as you get down on your knees. Levi smirks, satisfied, but it’s cut short by a frustrated sigh when you remind him that he’s still not allowed to touch. You smile, mouth open and tongue sticking out right next to the bulbous cockhead. You let out a quiet breath through your mouth to see how sensitive he already is, and when it twitches, you reward him with a little lick at the frenulum. Levi throws his head back against the backrest of the couch as another frustrated sigh escapes him, and in that second that he’s unsuspecting, you quickly take all of him deep in your throat, startling him and causing him to choke out a gasp and grab hold of your head.
“Shit— sorry!” He withdraws his hands and settles back to gripping the cushions again. “You’re going to give me a heart attack."
Your hands glide along his inner thighs while you take him into your mouth, not too deep but just enough for the tip to hit your uvula before you pull back, cheeks hollowed out as you suck hard at the head. With your eyes glued to his pretty face, admiring his brows that are slightly creased, his half-lidded eyes, and slightly parted lips, you repeat the action slowly, sucking harder with every pull, and each time, Levi would buck his hips up, desperate to go deeper in your throat and make you choke. You give him what he wants once, twice, allowing him as deep as you can take until you’re twitching and your eyes cloud with tears. His grip on the cushions tightens that the fingers nearly turn white as he jerks his hips up in an attempt to bury his cock deep down your throat, sighing out a “fuuuck,” when you’d pull out not even two seconds after to gasp for air. Levi murmurs your name, pleading with you, and you’d comfort him with only a squeeze on both knees and a kiss on the head of his cock. You do this again and again, riling him up, enjoying the desperate moans he makes every time you leave him hanging, and God, it makes you feel so good to hear him beg, even if twice he lost his control and disobeyed you by gripping the back of your head to hold you still for a few seconds longer, waiting for you to start twitching at the lack of oxygen before letting you go. You let both times slip after he apologized and whimpered “you feel so good.”
It doesn’t take him long before he’s murmuring that he’s close. You quicken your pace and take him deeper until his breathing turns loud and erratic, and when he cries out “shit!” you pull back and watch his cock twitch in air as cum dribbles out. “You’re so fucking mean,” he whines, and you giggle at how he seems to be close to sobbing.
You wrap your fingers around the base, pushing his cock to his stomach and stroking him upwards to gather his cum towards his belly instead. You can’t spoil the velvet covers after all, not this time yet at least. He watches while you lick your fingers clean, his breathing slowing to calm as you place a trail of kisses up his stomach and chest, until you’re straddling him.
“You can touch me now.”
His hands slip under your skirts to caress your thighs.
You peck his lips, asking “how are you?” between kisses.
“Could be better,” is all he says, in his usual deadpan tone.
You chuckle, cupping his jaw, tilting his head to the side to kiss the side of his face.
His hands snake around your lower back, fingers slipping under the garters of your underwear, pushing them down and then spreading your ass apart so that he can feel your wetness at the tip of his fingers while he squeezes your cheeks.
You move your hips to rub yourself on his fingers, moaning against his lips when he nudges your hole.
“So… will you still be my prince or nah?”
He slips a finger into your cunt, curling it inward and outward, causing your hips to falter.
“You can’t get rid of me by giving me ruined orgasms. Or by watching strangers fuck.”
“Do you want me to fire them?”
He kisses your chin. “I wouldn’t mind if you don’t.”
“Good to know…” You bury your face in the crook of his neck as you lift your hips slightly, allowing him better reach and angle. He slips another finger, and you moan breathily against his skin as he starts fucking you with his fingers. You kiss the junction where his neck and shoulder meet and say, “I can finally put that gorgeous cock ring into good use.” Levi stiffens, his fingers still buried in your cunt. You pull away and laugh at the flabbergasted look on his face. “Not today, though.” You kiss the tip of his nose, winking at him as you get up. “I’ll just get my butt plug.”
p.s. i know nothing about wines (im a beer girl lol) so if the combination of food and wine i chose isn't a good pair, i'm sorry 😖😂
synopsis: it started as a craving, the kind a magazine nor his hands could satisfy.
pair: levi x marleyan and stripper fem!reader | wc: 16,504 (i knew this was going to be long, but not this long. please give this baby a chance >_<) | tags: shameless smut! post-canon, strip clubs, marleyan and stripper reader, reader has a backstory, post-war levi, drinking, flirting, touch-starved Levi Ackerman, jealous Levi Ackerman, handjob, blowjob, cum eating, just the tip, cowgirl position, creampie, p in v coitus, fluff and smut, light angst, still with the holiday themes since this is around levi's birthday
audio: earned it by the weeknd, love by kendrick lamar ft. zacari, sweat by zayn. here's a mini playlist for all the songs that helped me finish this ;)
damn this one got away from me! and i know this took me so long!! i have no excuse. i dipped and i'm so sorry for that!! haven't been doing well the past month. hopefully i'll be able to finish the rest of my leviweek25 entries before the end of february before i start playing ffxvi lmao
read on ao3 | masterlist
It started as a craving, the kind that not a magazine nor his hands could satisfy.
It’s been building in his gut for the past year, made worse by months of sitting in a wheelchair, even more when his left knee regained the strength to walk. Months after he finished therapy, he found himself wandering into the pleasure district on weekend nights, where he’d look at the exterior club walls filled with overlapping grayscale posters of strippers before going home and jerking off at the thought of faceless strippers around him, of a woman dancing on his lap and then fucking him into oblivion.
He knew it's only a matter of time before he caves in, he just didn’t think it would be all because of a photograph a customer left on a table in the tea shop. It’s a stolen shot of a woman on stage, of you, caught mid-dance in a crouch, looking so confident in the sexiest lingerie set he's ever seen. Fuck, he doesn’t even remember seeing anyone this attractive in neither the pleasure houses in The Underground, nor in the ones in the more prospering towns in Paradis. Even in grayscale you look beautiful, like a goddess, so fucking perfect. He’s never been this interested, this affected, by a woman before, and the image of you burns in his brain the longer he stares at it. He’s got to see you, in person, and if luck is on his side, the signage written in elegant cursive on the wall behind you is the clue to where he’ll find you.
Venus is located at the heart of Marley’s thriving pleasure district, along with the more expensive clubs swarmed by the wealthy. He expected no less, with a face seemingly sculpted by a god, of course you’d be working in one of these luxurious clubs. Unlike the clubs in the outer section of the pleasure district, the walls here are clean of posters, decorated only with neon lights that cast a deep blue glow on the snow-covered ground. Bouncers stand tall on each side of the double doors, neither sparing a glance at Levi as he’s let inside. Dim blue lights illuminated the whole interior of the club, fading out every few seconds that he begins struggling to see where he’s walking. The air is thick with smoke and perfume, and a low hum of conversation thrums beneath the seductive melody of piano and strings. There is a mini bar at the far side of the club, crowded with men dressed in suits, all facing the stage to watch the dancers while twirling glasses of liquor in their hands. More men in suits, decades older than the women who are latched onto their chests, occupy the two long L-shaped leather couches facing towards the platform, where they’re offered the closest view of female strippers gyrating on the stage.
Eyes flicker to Levi, scrutinizingly as if they recognize his face. With the broken eye and a scar on his face, he knows he’s bound to catch attention, that someone perceptive would realize he was once a soldier. Even with the armbands discontinued, he looks so out of place it’s obvious he isn’t from Marley at all.
He shouldn’t be here. He’s not meant to be here.
And yet, he moves forward.
By the time Levi secures a booth at the far back of the club, the performance has ended and the women have gone to tables to personally entertain their guests. He deposits his cane against the wall, its presence a welcome company in a place that feels like a den of wolves.
A tall redhead hostess tends to him sooner than he expected, passing him the menu.
“Hello, handsome. Who ‘ya here for?”
He considers asking about you, maybe showing your picture to be sure, but he decides against it. No. Fucking no. That would make him look like a creep because why would he have a picture of you and not know you?
He decides to get a beer instead, feeling a little pathetic when he catches her eyeing him for a few seconds longer, waiting for something else—someone’s name—to leave his mouth.
“Sure,” she acknowledges and leaves.
Levi leans back in the worn leather booth, arms crossed while catching bits and pieces of conversations around him—men bragging about their rather superficial accomplishments and women giggling with feigned admiration in response, slender fingers caressing chests, arms, or thighs with fake devotion. Glasses and bottles clink against the tables, never empty of alcohol for more than ten seconds. Somewhere, a door closes and the blinds shut for an act meant to be seen only in private.
The sound of heels clacking against the floor pulls him out of his thoughts. Then a bottle appears on his table, already opened but with the cap left clinging to the mouth.
“Here ‘ya go, handsome. Holler when you’re ready for another.” The hostess, whose nameplate reads Emily, winks at him before turning to leave.
He grabs the bottle, distantly wondering the last time he had a drink. Somehow, he can’t even remember the taste of alcohol, but once he takes a swig, memories come crashing into him, like ocean waves recklessly filling his mind—drinking in a pub after a mission, welcoming new recruits who look like they’re ready to shit their pants, a surprise birthday celebration for him even when he doesn’t really celebrate.
Thirty minutes and three beers later, the stage lights begin to dim, the deep blue turning to red and then to purple. A silhouette appears on stage, a woman illuminated by the dim lights that emphasize her curves and what little she wears. Levi straightens up and turns to his side to get a better view, unsure if it’s still the alcohol that makes him feel like he’s been suddenly set on fire.
The first drop of note brings a hushed, curious whisper among the crowd, eyes set on the woman who walks towards the pole, each step accompanied by a sensual melody of orchestral strings and piano.
Fuck. It’s as if you stepped out of that picture, just as perfect as he remembers.
The black lingerie dress you’re wearing clings to your curves, flowing delicately around your thighs and shimmering with every sway of your hips. Men salivate like mad dogs when you crouch and spread your knees apart, staring with wide eyes as if you’re already naked in their perverted minds. You climb up the pole effortlessly, as if the metal is one with your body, arching your back and head thrown back with your hair spilling down smoothly like silky curtains. Like a moth drawn to flame, Levi finds himself leaning forward, wishing he’s seated somewhere closer, somewhere you will easily spot him. The music starts to fade. You slowly descend the pole. You blow a kiss to the crowd and leave the stage with the same grace as when you entered.
The club walls turn to blue once more.
Fuck. How long did you dance? That fucking felt like it hasn’t even been a minute.
Silence lingers, as if your presence remains on stage, still demanding attention. Levi doesn’t realize the music has stopped until someone from the crowd whistles.
What the fucking hell.
You’re trouble.
Levi finishes his remaining beer and calls for the bill. When the hostess comes, he asks, “does she dance every night?”
“Ahuh,” she answers with a knowing smile. “Wanna table her?”
Who would be stupid to say no?
He pays up and starts to leave. “Keep the change.”
“Thank you, handsome. See you tomorrow!”
—---------------------------—
He shouldn’t have kept the fucking picture. He should’ve burnt it last night.
It’s distracting. Even when it’s safely tucked in the inside pocket of his coat.
It’s so unlike him to be distracted, but, oh, he absolutely is for the most part of the day. He even nearly burnt his hand while making a batch of tea. Even the kids are surprised.
It isn’t his plan to come back, not immediately at least, but with how your photo’s mere existence fucks up his system, he knows he’s got to see you again. In person. Because his filthy imagination isn’t enough. When he closes his eyes, he sees your graceful dancing and imagines you doing it just for him, in front of dozens of men who would die to be him. He pictures himself sitting on a chair, right ankle over left knee, arms spread over the backrest, while you’re dressed in that black lingerie that you’ll slowly get rid of, all while swaying your hips and spreading your knees for him. He remembers the way you climbed up the pole, how your hair spilled down smoothly when you arched your back. He remembers how each sway of your hips seemingly casted a spell on the whole room.
He still feels that spell on him.
It still makes him hard.
Fuck. He desperately needs to see you again.
He counts the hours down to the minutes until it’s finally time to close the tea shop. He even sends Gabi and Falco home two hours earlier (“It’s Saturday anyway,”) so that he could leave just as early himself.
Has he been this eager to see a woman in his younger years? Probably not. Women, nor sex, were the least of his concerns back then.
Now, you’re taking up more space in his mind than he’d like.
The pleasure district is even livelier tonight, especially the cheap ones in the outer section. Despite the thick snow blanketing the pavement, people walk around the area as if they’re in a park. Levi trudges down the path that leads further into the pleasure district, the direction now a little too familiar to his liking.
Venus. Levi reads the bright sign, a glaring blue that makes the snow look more sapphire than white.
The club has more clients than last night, but this time, Levi manages to find an empty table that’s facing the stage, just behind the L-shaped couches.
He hears footsteps, fast approaching, and then: “You’re back!” Emily greets happily, as if she knew he would really come back, and passes the menu to him. “Gonna table her tonight?”
Hope so, he thinks. But what he says is: “I’ll have the same drink.”
“You’re boring,” she teases, nose scrunched up as she walks away.
Fuck, he does want to table you, so fucking badly. He wants to have you for himself.
But he’s also scared. He’s scared he’ll disappoint you. He doesn’t have the same energy nor strength he used to have before, and he fears he’ll finish rather quickly since he’s no longer used to the feeling. He’s so fucking pathetic. His knees will keep trembling and give out after a few minutes, and even if he goes bottom, he’ll certainly end up being a fucking starfish. He can’t fuck you the way you’d want to be fucked. Heck, he wouldn’t be able to fuck you the way he wants to.
He doesn’t want to disappoint you.
He’s not the person who’d fulfill your sexual desires.
The slamming of a bottle on the table yanks him out of his trance.
“Let me know if ‘ya changed your mind.” Still frowning, she starts to leave.
“Wait!”
She turns, looking rather hopeful.
“What’s her name?”
Her lips turn up in a playful smirk. Levi’s anticipation shoots up to the roof as Emily leans forward and says, “ask her yourself, handsome.”
Fuck.
He lets out a loud tch that makes the hostess laugh. Of course, it won’t be that easy.
He takes a long swig, one after another, and the next thing he knows, he’s already finished his fourth bottle, and he still hasn’t seen you yet.
Crap. Was he too early? Or did Emily fucking lie to him? Did you suddenly take the day off? It’s the weekend after all, why didn’t he think that? He should’ve known better than to waste his time. Should’ve just gone home instead and jerked off at the thought of you.
This is pathetic. He’s pathetic.
He orders another beer—his last—then he’s going home.
The lights suddenly dim, the stage completely dark. Levi sets his eye on the platform in anticipation. There’s nothing at first, and the chatter around him continues as if the sudden darkness is a normal occurrence.
Deep down he knows it isn’t. Deep in his guts he knows you’re somewhere out there.
And then, movements. A silhouette climbing the short set of stairs onto the platform. Red lights fill the stage from all sides, bottom to top, like an inverted spotlight.
And then, there you are, in the middle, dressed in just a black lace bustier with matching underwear.
That’s even less than what you were wearing last night.
His eye moves up to your face, and fuck, you’re like a model straight out of a painting, born out of a man’s wildest imagination, a whispered sin turned flesh.
Goddammn, he wants you so badly it hurts.
The music starts, slow and sensual. When you start to dance, everyone stops to watch. You sway your hips to the music, hands roaming all over your own body, squeezing and feeling yourself. You lower yourself to a crouch oh-so-slowly until you’re on all fours. You lean in towards the man closest to the stage, looking at him with come-hither eyes. He eagerly lifts his face to meet yours, you hold him by the chin with just your index finger and tease him with a near-kiss. The man giggles stupidly. Levi wants to hit him in the head with a beer bottle. You continue dancing, teasing everyone near the stage, be it a man or a woman, with lingering caresses and near kisses.
And then, you take your bustier off, letting it dangle by a finger before dropping to the ground.
A whistle rings from the crowd.
Levi’s fingers twitch. Fuck. What he would do for even a simple touch.
A bottle of beer appears on his table, but his eye remains on you.
“Enjoying yourself, handsome?”
He opens his mouth to answer, but stops when you crouch on the platform again, exposing the insides of your thighs.
His mouth waters.
You kneel on the floor, sitting on your heels, hands pressing your tits together. When a man reaches to touch your knees, you slap his hand away and sway an admonishing finger at him.
“She chooses her man,” Emily murmurs in his ear.
The fuck. He didn’t even realize she’s still there. He feels uncomfortable, unsure which one Emily is watching, your performance or him slowly losing his shit.
‘How do I table her then,’ is all he could think of… until it isn’t.
His breath catches in his throat.
“I knew it!” Emily whisper-shouts, as if she just won a bet. She slaps Levi on the shoulder and leaves him choking on air.
It can’t be. His stupid eye must be playing tricks on him.
You found him. Across the room. Dozens of faces in the crowd, and yet, it’s his face your eyes fall upon. When he meets your eyes, you respond with a smirk. You fucking smirk and his brain short circuits. He is fucking melting.
He crosses his knees, uncomfortable. It won’t be long before he’s fucking tenting.
You continue dancing, never leaving the stage, glancing at Levi occasionally. If he’s a dog he’d be frothing at the mouth right now—fuck, if he is a dog he’d be pouncing on you right at this fucking moment, claiming territory.
The music stops abruptly. The lights turn blue. You disappear, leaving him hungrier, thirstier than ever.
He takes a long swig of the beer, stopping only when his throat starts to burn. It doesn’t help.
He needs more. He needs something more. Something else and more.
He calls for the bill, payment already in his hands.
“Enjoyed the show tonight?” asks Emily.
“Yes.” There’s no use in lying. He got more than what he hoped for.
He gets up and leaves.
“See you tomorrow!”
—---------------------------—
He’s supposed to be closed on Sundays, but he needs something to distract himself from you.
But alas! It’s not fucking working! First of all, every time the door opens and he turns, he’s hoping to see you coming in.
It’s a lost cause. He’s going insane.
Whatever he’s doing, there’s a stubborn voice in his head that won’t stop reminding him you chose him.
You chose him, it says while he prepares a batch of tea.
You chose him, while he watches a customer deliberate on their order.
You chose him, even when he’s the least attractive person in that fucking club. But then again, with a face like his, he’s bound to attract attention. Maybe that’s why you caught sight of him. It’s his stark difference from the others.
You chose him, is all he could think of as he closes the shop not even an hour after lunch time to hide in the stockroom and jerk off.
‘She chooses her man,’ Emily said.
You locked eyes with him. You smirked.
He comes undone.
He stays in the stockroom, pondering over how pathetic he is.
The shop remains closed for the rest of the day.
.
He’s certain he meant to head home, but he finds himself standing outside Venus later that evening. The club is still packed like last night, but he finds a recently vacated table facing the stage. Is luck on his side? He’d be fucking elated if it is.
A different hostess tends to him tonight.
He waits for you with a beer in hand.
This isn’t healthy—drinking, you. You’re not healthy for him. He’s got to stop before he loses himself completely. And between the alcohol and a certain woman, he’s sure the latter would be the first to intoxicate him and bring him to a fucking coma.
He grabs for his wallet, deciding it's time to leave, but then the lights dim and turn to citrine, and he knows he’s a second too late.
He can’t decide if it’s a good thing or not.
You’re dressed in another lingerie set, a black net babydoll lingerie that does little to hide the matching G-string you’re wearing.
Levi doesn’t understand why he’s so hooked when it’s literally the same dance. The same hips movements, hands sliding over your own curves, squeezing and feeling, and exposing. Anybody can fucking do that, any woman in this damn bar can wear the same obscene clothes and perform the same dance, so why?
Why can’t he take his eye off you? Why can’t he calm his pounding heart and throbbing cock?
He downs his beer to clear his mind of you.
The music stops. You leave the stage, but instead of disappearing to the back, you walk gracefully down the short set of stairs towards the crowd.
Towards him.
His lips are parted by the time you reach him, his head thrown back a little to keep his eye locked with yours.
He realizes that even when you’re barefoot, you’re damn tall.
You sit from across him, and he couldn’t help but feel a little smug when he hears the stunned gasps and envious growls of men around him. He catches a strong whiff of vanilla as you lean in closely, chin propped at the back of your interlaced fingers.
“Hi, Cutie.”
Gotta be cool. Gotta keep his fucking cool.
“I didn’t ask for you.”
“You did not,” you purr, eyes glued to his face as your finger traces around the mouth of his beer bottle. “That doesn’t mean you don’t want me here.”
Fuck. You sound so sure, and you’re not wrong. Has he been that obvious?
You smile, bringing the bottle to your mouth for a drink.
He watches your lips, then your throat that bobs as you swallow the alcohol. Nothing appropriate comes into his fucking mind.
“Why are you here?” he asks. Why did you pick me? Why me?
“Why are you here?” you ask back, lips turned up in a curious yet knowing smile.
His brow twitches. Are all the women here this bad at answering properly?
“To drink.”
You hum, unconvinced. “Want a room?”
“You’re asking the wrong person.”
“Pretty sure I’m not,” you pout.
He sighs.
“Does Cutie have a name?”
“It’s Levi.”
“Levi,” you murmur, as if his name is wine and you’re tasting it on your tongue. He watches you take another drink of his beer, eyes locked with him in a challenge as you put the bottle on the table and then nudge it towards him.
He takes the beer and drinks everything you left for him.
You smile, your scarlet painted lips turning up into the prettiest curve he’s ever seen.
“Well, Levi. They call me Venus, but…” you pause, looking him in the eye. You tell him your real name and a promise to see him tomorrow.
—---------------------------—
There’s a different dancer the next night. She’s nothing compared to you, her movements nothing special that did not excite Levi even a tiny bit.
Well, he may be a little biased.
Emily said you’re in the club, but he hasn’t seen you yet. Maybe you found another man to entertain, someone who appreciates your attention and flirts back with you.
The thought brings an uneasy feeling in his guts, but he wouldn’t blame you, not after how he treated you last night.
He’s so stupid he wants to smack his head with the bottle of beer.
He remembers the indirect kiss you shared last night, your lips as they wrapped around the mouth of the bottle, your throat as you swallowed the drink. It did things to his brain, flooding him with images of his cock in your mouth, taking all of him down your throat obediently.
And then, as if his thoughts have summoned you into reality, he catches sight of you walking out of the dressing room, wrapped in a shimmering gold mini mesh dress that looks rather uncomfortable to wear, the low neckline exposing the valley between your chest, your nipples erect and poking at the flimsy material. Men call for you to join them in their couches, inviting you for a drink, but it’s as if you don’t hear them, only walking past them and towards Levi. You sit across from him, tickling his nostrils yet again with your sickly-sweet perfume. You prop your elbows on the table, fingers laced together under your chin and lean forward.
“Ready to get a room, Cutie?”
Levi keeps his eyes trained on your face. “Why me?”
You drink from his beer before answering, “why not?”
“I’m handicapped,” he points out.
“It doesn’t matter.” You give him back the drink.
He grabs the bottle, but his fingers only tighten around the glass. “I’ll just bore you.”
“Honey,” you purr, lightly brushing the back of his knuckles with your fingers. “I’m not the one who needs entertainment.”
He lifts his face to look you in the eyes. He doesn’t know what you see, but it makes you smile and get up from your seat, taking his hand into yours.
He grabs his cane and lets you drag him out of the lounge area.
The private room is nothing grand. Dim yellow lights illuminate the room from four corners. Red velvet lines the walls, the floor covered in black rug. In the middle is a queen-sized bed with crimson pillows and blankets that smell strongly of detergent, as if the whole thing has been dipped in it during laundry.
You lock the door, and the loud click only makes his heart beat more frantically in his chest. With the blinds already shut, you walk to him who’s already seated on the bed, sitting yourself on his lap, arms draped over his shoulders.
“Not gonna dance for me?” He dares ask.
You let out a low, seductive chuckle that makes his cock throb. “Sorry. I got excited.” You drag a finger down his nose, the sensation sending static through his nerves, before separating yourself from him, taking a few steps away from him. Then you start to dance, slow and seductive, each sway of your hips whispering sinful melodies in his ears, turning his brain into mush and sending all the blood rushing south. His eye follows your hands as they slide down your body, and his pants get tighter with every movement you make, wishing it's his own hands roaming all over your skin instead. You let the straps slide off your shoulders, one after the other, turning your back to him as the dress drops to a pool of shimmering gold around your feet. Such a fucking tease, keeping those bare tits from his sight.
You look over your shoulder, smirking. “Like what you’re seeing so far?” Your fingers slip under the strings of your underwear and slowly pull it down.
This time, he doesn’t stop himself from licking his lips. Doesn’t stop himself from staring at your pair of plump cheeks. He allows himself to watch closely as you bend low, keeping your ass up in the air, putting your ass hole and cunt on display as you take your heels off, both holes twitching with the need to feel him, to swallow him whole.
Fuck, how did he get so lucky to be rewarded with this?
He fists the blanket, desperate to start pumping himself.
You walk towards him, and he leans back as you climb into his lap again, afraid to touch you, afraid that his hideous hands would break you. You grind into his hips, and a soft growl escapes his throat, pulling a satisfied smile from you.
“Anything I need to be careful of?”
“J-just the knee,” he says through gritted teeth.
You smile innocently. “Okay.”
“And… n–no sex,” he forces out.
Your face falls, but only for a second. “As you wish.”
Idiot! He’s such an idiot!
You get off him to help him pull his feet up on the mattress. Levi crawls on his back to the middle of the bed while you work on removing his shoes. Lips parted and breathing shallow, he watches you get on all fours above him, crawling up to meet him in the middle, one hand unbuckling his belt and unzipping his fly open with practiced ease, leaving him in only his shirt and coat.
Shit, shit, shit.
He’s gonna cum fast, he can tell.
Shit!!
“Relax, Levi,” you chuckle.
Fuck.
How? How can he relax when your fingers are wrapped around his cock, smearing pre-cum all over the head with your thumb? How can he relax when it feels too good, he thinks he’ll ejacultae prematurely? That would fucking kill the mood.
“Why are you so nervous?” you murmur, mouth so close to his ear your hot breath tickles him. You start stroking with a firm squeeze, and fuck, the words die in his throat.
It feels so good his fingers and toes curl in at the pleasure.
You chuckle at his flushed face. “Got so used to your own hands that you forgot how a woman feels?”
“F–fuck!” Is all he manages to utter.
“You’re so pretty, Levi,” you purr, voice dripping with honey it sticks his lips together, rendering him speechless.
He’s fucking close, but he can’t! He can’t just yet. Too soon!
You drag your fingers down his length oh so slowly, squeezing the veins, each stroke adding more pressure to the ache that’s building between his legs.
Levi lets out a tiny whimper. He’s never felt this good in forever.
“Mhm, feels good?” You moan, and he forces a quick nod in answer. “Gonna come for me then?”
“Yes!”
“Good boy. As a reward…” You quicken your pace and stroke him faster.
“Ah!” Shit! So close, but not yet! Not yet not yet not yet!
“Now, now, don’t stop it.”
“I—”
“Or do you want me to take you in my mouth instead?”
The image of your pretty red lips wrapped around his cock flashes before his eyes and suddenly, the pressure snaps like a coil, erupting with a sensation that jolts through every nerve in his body. He grabs your waist and bucks his hips up into your fist, spurting thick ropes of semen on his shirt. You giggle, stroking him fast through his orgasm. It feels so good he’s gonna fucking pass out.
“Ahh,” he sighs, fingers digging into the flesh of your hips. “Fuck, shit– okay, okay. I–” His grip tightens, carving crescents into your skin. “Too much, brat, too m–much!”
You giggle at the pet name, letting go of his twitching cock. He watches you bring your hand to your mouth to lick the beads of cum that are sticking to your fingers.
“Shit,” he pants, the intensity of his orgasm rendering his whole body into a trembling mess.
You brush away the fringes that are sticking to his forehead. “Can I kiss you?”
‘What?!’ screams his brain, while his mouth blurts out “y–yeah.”
You hold his chin gently and kiss him tenderly, and he closes his eyes and returns the kiss.
Fuck. You’re so, so good for him.
You’re smiling when you pull away, and then you start pressing a trail of soft sucking kisses from his neck down to his clothed chest.
“What are you doing?” He murmurs, looking down at where your tongue is licking at his spoiled shirt.
You only meet his half-lidded gaze with a smile as you continue to where more of his cum are spilled, licking him clean, sending his cock twitching and leaking pre-cum once more, stealing your attention.
“Looks like you’re ready for another round,” you murmur, planting a teasing lick at his frenulum, causing a moan to escape his throat.
“Wait—”
You wrap your lips around the head, and he chokes out a strangled moan, throwing his head back into the mattress. When you suck the pre-cum from the swollen head, it feels like his cock is going to explode. His fingers grip the sheets tightly, right heel shoved into the mattress and toes curling as you trace along a vein with the tip of your tongue.
“N–no! Stop!”
You pull away with a little frown on your face that fills his chest with shame.
“Alright,” you concur, lying on your side next to him. You prop your elbow on the mattress, lifting your head to kiss his shoulder. “Felt good?”
A sharp breath escapes his mouth. “Awesome.”
You smile, kissing his shoulder again, hand roaming all over his chest and stomach.
“Stop doing that,” he scolds heatlessly.
“Why? Don’t you like it?” You tease, twirling a nipple. He grabs your hand, holding it still. Your hand settles on his chest instead, your head on his shoulder.
No. This is too intimate.
“I should head home.”
He can’t get used to this.
“You sure? You really don’t want me to blow you?”
He’s fucking not. He doesn’t want to go home. He wants you. All of you. He wants everything you could give him tonight.
Had you insisted some more, he would’ve said yes eventually.
He sits up. You take it as your cue to get up and gather his clothes for him.
He can’t get used to this. He’s here only for the sex after all.
Sex he was so stupid to say no to.
—---------------------------—
He’s decided. For fucking real. He’s going to stick to his own hands. Whatever happened last night should only stay as a one-night stand, sex or no sex.
Now that he thinks about it, it's good that nothing happened between the two of you. That way, he’s less regretful.
Huh. Whatever happened to no regrets?
It’s his fault. He shouldn’t have gone to the club in the first place. He should’ve been content with his own hands.
Now, he’s aching for more.
A heavy sigh escapes through his nose while he stares at the falling snow outside, unaware of Gabi and Falco watching him from behind, with the former elbowing the latter and urging him towards Levi. The blond kid sucks in a breath and steps forward just as Levi turns away from the door. Gabi scrambles away, pretending to clean the nearest table, leaving Falco fidgeting and chuckling awkwardly in front of Levi.
He raises a brow. “What?”
“Well,” Falco scratches at the nape of his neck, “there’s this holiday bazaar at the town plaza from today until the last day of December. We were wondering if you’d want to come with us.”
Gabi clears her throat. “What Falco wants to say is, come with us! It’ll be fun!”
“I’ll think about it,” he answers dismissively, walking back to the counter.
She groans openly, flinging her hands in the air in frustration. “Levi, come on, you never go anywhere besides the tea shop. Don’t you ever get bored of it?”
“No,” he answers flatly.
Bored? He’s been busy every night. Heck, he’s busy even during the day obsessing over a certain woman.
“Ughh!” Gabi throws the wiping cloth to the table.
“Told you he’d say no,” Falco murmurs.
“Actually…”
The kids turn to him in curious anticipation.
Going to that stupid holiday bazaar will keep him from going to the club. It will keep him distracted.
Hopefully.
“Fine. I’ll join you two tonight.”
“Really?!” Gabi asks, grinning widely. Falco only blinks, unable to grasp the fact that he just said yes to them.
“That damn bazaar better not be a waste of time,” he grumbles, a small smile making its way to his lips at the sight of Gabi doing a little happy dance and Falco answering with two thumbs up.
.
Well… it’s good that he didn’t expect too much because there is nothing interesting in this damn bazaar.
Large festoon lights hang across the areas and on the roofs of the stalls, filling the place with bright still lights. It’s too crammed in there, with stalls on each side and people walking in different directions, blocking the already narrow path whenever they’d look over a display a little longer. There’s also a designated picnic area with long tables, but all are occupied. And those that aren’t are filled with empty food packs and juice cups that make Levi’s blood boil.
Falco buys them each a cup of hot chocolate, while Gabi buys cake pops in the shape of stars to eat while walking aimlessly around the bazaar. Levi looks over at each bazaar selling various items, some offering snacks, while the others sell trinkets. There are a few that sell holiday decorations, and even fewer that sell antique items. There’s one stall that sells scented candles, with some jars opened for smell tests.
Gabi picks one up and takes a sniff. Then a few more others before her face lights up. “This smells great!” She passes the candle jar to Falco, who takes a quick sniff before passing it to Levi.
He receives the jar and reluctantly brings it to his nose.
It smells just like you.
What the fucking fuck.
“Ah, that’s our best seller, Vanilla! Burns up to sixty hours and with a good throw, I guarantee,” the merchant says with an encouraging smile.
He turns the jar around to see the label. Citrus peel, fresh cream, cocoa, sandalwood, vanilla beans— he quickly puts the jar back to the display rack.
Not now. Not now!
He turns away, missing the confused blinking of the merchant, and comes face to face with a small stall selling lingeries, causing him to choke on his saliva. Why the fuck are lingeries being sold in a Christmas bazaar?!
Falco whips his head around, turning in the direction where a shout could be heard. “There’s Onyan!”
The kids rush to where Onyankopon is waiting. Levi follows… after he double takes at a perfume stall, thinking he caught a glimpse of you.
So much for keeping himself distracted from you.
The kids manage to secure a picnic table, where they catch up with Onyankopon while eating the pastries he bought from one of the stalls around. These days he’s been so busy doing community work and helping in the hospital that he rarely has the time to visit the tea shop.
“How about you, Levi? Have you been busy with anything else besides the tea shop?”
His brow twitches at the question. “Why do you all expect me to be busy with anything else beside the tea shop?”
Onyankpon shares a confused look with the kids, who only respond with a shrug.
“Well, there’s this nurse at the clinic who keeps asking about you. Think she saw you during one of your follow-up checkups.
“And?”
Gabi smacks her face. “It means someone has a crush on you, old man!”
“And?”
“The kids just want you to have a little fun, Levi,” Onyankopon chuckles.
“I am having fun,” he says with a deadpan tone.
Falco eyes him for a second. “Sure, you are.”
“You are turning forty next week, Levi!” Gabi exclaims, crossing her arms. “Get laid for once.”
Levi chokes on his bread. Onyankopon laughs out loud. Falco passes him a bottle of water, looking rather embarrassed on his behalf.
If only these three know what he’s been up to recently.
If they only knew what’s keeping him awake at night, what keeps him lying helplessly in bed, keeping his mind occupied.
—---------------------------—
The tea shop looks a little too festive to his liking, but he doesn’t say it out loud. He lets the kids do what they want to the shop. They helped establish it after all.
Earlier this morning, Onyankopon dropped by with a phonograph, something to ‘spruce up’ the cafe, he said. Gabi and Falco arrived carrying boxes of holiday decorations but didn’t start putting them up until after lunch time. Now, with only two hours before closing, the cafe looks livelier and brighter. Gabi has finished decorating the interior with garlands and fairy lights and has started working on the outside with Falco’s help. There’s a wreath on the door, and more garlands and fairy lights hang over the window trims outside, giving a warm glow to the shop’s dull brick walls.
Levi is about finished with organizing the teacup cabinet, assuming there won’t be any more customers arriving towards the end of the day. He carefully wipes every cup, ensuring there’s not any tea residue, before putting them on the cabinet, when the chime rings and the door creaks open. He catches three different voices, women chattering about some foreign country, and then Gabi’s as she welcomes them to the shop.
“Do we place our orders at the counter or…”
Levi pauses, recognizing the voice.
“You can sit and relax. I’ll get the menu for you.” Gabi rushes to the counter afterwards, where the menu booklets are already neatly stacked together.
“Thank you. You’re such a sweetheart.”
Now that is a very familiar voice, one that just made his heart skip a beat and his hands cold.
He refuses to look, afraid he’d fold the moment he sees your smile. Fuuuuck. There are so many other tea shops around, so why here? He knew this would happen, that there’s a chance you’d discover this place but come on, does it really have to be now when he’s trying to avoid you?
Gabi grins at the praise, tells them to call her once they’re ready to order, before going back to the counter, sidling up to his side. “Levi, they’re so pretty!!!” She whispers loudly.
He starts the kettle.
“One of them keeps looking at you,” she says, stubbornly tugging at the sleeve of his jacket while glancing at your table. “Levi, you have another admirer! And you haven’t even shown your face yet! And she’s so pretty! How lucky could you be, having girls swoon after you?!” Gabi giggles teasingly and elbows him. “You should ask her out!”
“Shut the fuck up,” he grumbles, cheeks heating and brow twitching as Gabi continues to tug at his jacket. “Brat, stop.”
Levi hears you calling Gabi back. She quickly grabs her notepad and leaves to get your orders. He listens to you talk, realizes he prefers hearing your voice like this, sweet and innocent—not that he doesn’t like it when you’re all seductive and flirty with him. He wants to be friends with you, talk to you about the most random things, and maybe take you to that stupid holiday bazaar one of these nights to eat pastries and hot chocolates, and maybe you buy something for Christmas.
But of course, he can’t do that if he’s trying to stay away from you, can he? How stupid can he be to be talking about such a chance when he’s the one deliberately avoiding you?
He listens to you place your orders, committing the sound of your voice into memory, thinking this might be the last time he’d ever see or hear you again. “...Cucumber mint for Emily,” you continue, pronouncing her name a little loudly and in a sing-song voice.
Levi lets out a little smirk. Is it that easy for you to spot him?
You turn to Gabi after a short moment of consideration, asking what she’d recommend to you. “Do you have something like a ‘tea of the day’? Or… what does the tea barista like?” You ask, glancing at his back.
“We haven’t thought about that yet, but Levi is obsessed with black tea!”
He flinches.
“Levi,” you murmur, sharing a look with Emily.
“Ahuh! He likes everything in the black tea section.”
Levi bites back a groan and pinches the bridge of his nose.
You hum, turning the booklet to the said section to look over at the flavors. “Okay. I’d like to try the Orchid Vanilla,” you say, looking up at Gabi with a knowing smile. “I hope this Levi likes vanilla.”
He nearly drops the can of loose tea leaves.
Crap. You know, don’t you?
The tea leaves are already being steeped as Gabi approaches with the order slip, but it doesn’t surprise her anymore, knowing he would’ve taken note of it himself, being the efficient person that he is. A few minutes later, Gabi serves the drinks and goes back outside to help Falco with the rest of the decorations. Levi sits with his back facing your group, head low and arms crossed, unable to stop himself from listening to the three of you gush about how good the tea is before taking a sip from each other’s cups for a taste. Emily starts asking questions about France, which apparently leads Levi to the knowledge that Layla, the other lady you are with, was in another country when the Tumbling happened, returning home only two months ago. Levi learns that she used to work at Venus before she got married and had two kids.
“How about you two? How have you been?” Layla turns to you with a regretful look. “I’m so sorry about Clive.”
You let out a small smile. “It was inevitable.”
Levi lifts his face at the sound of your voice.
“Honestly, I thought he would’ve left the army right after your engagement.”
You swallow, lowering your face to avoid her eyes. “He was going to, but the war happened before he could do it.” You meet her gaze with a forced smile. “He died doing what he loves.”
Layla reaches for your hand and squeezes it. “So… you’re back to Venus?”
“I never left,” you answer, then take a sip of your tea, happy to be talking about something else.
“She is Venus,” Emily exclaims with a sway of her hand towards you. “Her leaving would be the club’s downfall!”
Hmm. So, it isn’t a coincidence at all, your stage name being Venus.
A sip of tea, and then in a hushed tone Emily adds, “drove the floor manager crazy because she only danced. Didn’t take any VIPs…” she pauses, looking at you meaningfully, “not until a few nights ago.” She ends with a quick glance at the man behind the counter. You bite back a smile, holding yourself back from looking in the same direction.
“Being the baby sister really has its perks, huh?” Oblivious to the exchange of glances, Layla teases good-naturedly, poking at your shoulder and earning a small laugh from you. She asks about ‘this new VIP’ you have, and you suffer from more teasing when you refuse to share anything more than “he’s a gentleman.”
Levi couldn’t help but smirk at himself derisively. He’s many things but a gentleman.
It’s amusing how easily you get flustered, even more when Emily joins the teasing. If he hadn’t met you in a club and had your hands and lips all over him, he wouldn’t think you’re a stripper. With how your friends’ relentless teasing reduced you to a blushing and stuttering mess, you look and sound so different from that woman who confidently danced on stage and stole every man’s breath, so different from that woman who wrecked him so deliciously.
There’s a gasp from your table, followed by the chair scraping the floor. Levi turns to find Layla scrambling to get her purse in panic.
“Oh my, I forgot about the kids!” she exclaims, laughing. “School ended half an hour ago already.”
You grab your purse as you stand up. “You guys go ahead. Drinks on me.”
“What?” Layla blinks. “Are you– okay. Next time’s on me!” She pulls you into a tight hug and kisses you on the cheek. “I missed you so much.” Then to Emily, “and you too. We should do this more often.”
“Agreed,” Emily replies. Then she turns to you, glancing at Levi in the process, and says, “I’ll wait for you outside.”
Oh, shit.
‘Keep calm,’ he tells himself as you approach the counter, waiting for the sound of the door closing before greeting him a quiet “hi,” looking at him as if there’s more you want to say besides that. Up close you’re even prettier, with minimal makeup and wearing more clothes than everything that he’s seen on you the first few times he’s seen you.
He blurts out a “h–hey,” realizing it almost slipped his mind to greet you back.
“I’ll pay for the drinks.” You let out a smile that makes his heart skip a beat.
He glances at the order slip in front of him. “It’s fine. On the house.”
What the heck just got into him?
“What? No! Let me pay, please.”
Fuck. He couldn’t stop staring at you.
“Fine,” he relents, snatching the bill from the stack and passing it to you.
Outside the shop, three pairs of eyes watch the interaction closely through the hazy window.
“Didn’t peg you for someone who’d own a tea shop,” you jest, and he only answers with a good-natured huff. “Tea’s good. Loved the black tea and vanilla combination.”
Goddamn, why won’t his mouth open? What does he fucking say to that?
He receives your payment, and before he could start counting your change, you tell him to keep it for the kids’ tip jar and leave.
He wants to bang his head on the counter.
—---------------------------—
Maybe a phonograph isn’t a bad idea like Gabi suggests. It’s too quiet at the shop, with the kids unavailable due to community service with Onyankopon, and there’s only one customer at the moment, an old and mute lady who drops by every other day and stays for hours to drink tea and read a book in peace.
He’s going insane—two days without seeing you feels like fucking eternity. That’s what he feels as he stares into space behind the counter, hands aching to get your picture from his purse so he could look at something else—something much more interesting. The old lady glances his way when he lets out a deep sigh, resorting to scribbling notes for ideas on new tea blends in an attempt to kick you out of his mind.
A couple of minutes later the chimes jingle, notifying him of a customer. Levi looks up to greet but the words dissolve in an instant.
He is most definitely going insane.
“Hi, Levi,” you greet, propping your arms on the counter.
This time, he manages to stay composed. “Hey.”
“Would you like to grab a cup of tea?” you ask with a sweet smile.
“I’m on duty,” he deadpans.
There’s a loud snort from the old lady’s direction, making you both turn to her.
You chuckle, looking back at Levi. “I’ll have the same,” you say, expecting he knows what ‘same’ is, before taking the table closest to the counter. You watch him work, moving behind the counter surprisingly quietly as he prepares the tea leaves while the water boils. He joins you when the drinks are done, taking a sip of his tea, eyes never straying from the pleased smile on your face as you take a sip of your own.
And then, silence. To his surprise, you keep avoiding his gaze for a while, looking uncertain of what to do next, and somehow, he couldn’t help but find it amusing. You wrap your fingers around the teacup, staring at the steam while worrying your bottom lip for another moment before finally breaking your silence.
“Y–you didn’t come back… to the club…” you start, eyes flickering to his face then back to your tea. “Was it something I said? Or something I did?” His brows knit together, and you continue, “Didn’t I… didn’t I please you enough?”
“What?” Is all he manages to utter, unable to believe you feel that way—that he made you feel that way.
You shrug. “I just assumed.”
“You’re being ridiculous,” he says with a snort.
There’s a small smile on your lips. “I only had two VIPs my whole life, the first being my late fiancé. My brother and I have an agreement that I’d only dance for the club. No one’s ever tabled me except Clive and…” you pause, looking up at him. “I don’t really know if I am that good enough.”
“You’re selling yourself short.”
You smile small. He can’t decide if you’re pleased with his answer.
“Seeing you for the first time reminded me of Clive, looking so out of place in the club, as if you didn’t really mean to be there.”
And you aren’t wrong. He was only there because he wanted to see you with his own eyes.
You take a sip of your tea, eyes glued to the steam from it as you set the cup back on the table, fingers never peeling away from the hot ceramic. There’s a soft smile on your lips that makes Levi stare unintentionally, a shine in your eyes that shows him the memories as you recount them—you, dancing on stage, eyes glued to the unassuming soldier who was still in his uniform, sitting by himself in a booth with already a few bottles of empty beer on the table. Levi could totally see you approaching the soldier the same way you did him, in that confident and sexy gait of yours. You stayed even after being told he wasn’t there for women and had only wanted to drink. But he hadn’t pushed you away either, which led you to sitting comfortably across from him with your own beer, taking careful sips until you’ve had too much and couldn’t keep your mouth shut anymore. You asked him one thing about himself that he wouldn’t mind sharing, without expecting he would answer, yet he did, and so you told him something about yourself in return—he had been thinking about quitting from the army, and you were contemplating teaching in a ballet school. It became a routine, sharing pieces of yourselves to each other during his visits, finding a friend in the other, and ultimately finding comfort in each other’s arms. He proposed to you sooner than you both anticipated, and with it came his decision to finally pass his resignation. You would’ve gotten married months after that if only his resignation wasn’t rejected, which led him in having to join the war for his sworn duty, fulfilling his obligation to the country while breaking his promise of coming back to you.
An ache blooms in Levi’s chest at the silence that follows. The bitter smile on your face tells him a part of you is still mourning, and it fills him with anger, awakening his rage that has gone dormant in the past few years. You and Clive didn’t deserve what happened, none of the victims deserved losing someone they love to that pointless war.
If he could only turn back the time.
But then what? What could he have done differently to stop it? What could he have done differently to convince Eren against doing it?
And if he did, would he be here now? Would you be sitting across from him, asking why he hasn’t come back to the club?
Why hasn’t he come back to you?
‘Seeing you for the first time reminded me of Clive…’
Ah. He gets it now, why you have been so persistent to get him to bed you. That’s what this is—that’s what he is.
“I’m not Clive.” The words leave his mouth before he can stop them.
The old lady instinctively closes her book in astonishment.
Your face twists in shock, voice coming out in a whisper, “what?”
“You can’t expect me to treat you the same way he did.”
He should’ve done better to stop the Rumbling. Clive shouldn’t have died.
“Levi… that’s not–”
“We were both soldiers but we’re not the same.”
He’s worse. He let his comrades die. He killed his own people.
Your lips tremble. “That didn’t even cross my mind!”
The shaking of your voice washes away the anger that has quickly consumed him, and he forces his mouth shut. Don’t make it worse, he tells himself. Tears begin to well at your eyes, and the sound of you trying to hold them back makes him feel horrible. Goddamn, he fucked up. He shouldn’t have said that. Why did he even say that?
He opens his mouth to apologize but stops when he sees the look of understanding all over your face.
Your shoulders sag as you lower your gaze to your tea, somehow suddenly gone cold in your sweaty fingers. “You’re right,” you murmur.
Levi swallows. “I–”
You look up, meeting his eyes again, lips turned up in a forced smile that finally sends his heart shattering. You grab your purse, taking a bill out and putting it on the table as you get up on your feet. Levi follows, but you dismiss him with a shake of your head.
“Thank you for listening,” you say in a weak voice and immediately leave.
The old lady cries out in frustration the moment the door closes behind you. She throws her hands in the air in exasperation, moaning out what Levi assumes are curses before rolling her eyes and smacking her face.
“I know,” is all he could say.
Fuck. It isn’t his intention to hurt you, that’s the last thing he’d want to do. It’s the very reason why he said that.
—---------------------------—
He needs to make things right. He wants to make it up to you.
But how could he do it when you see him and yet act like you don’t know him at all?
You see him in the crowd, he’s pretty sure you did when you looked in his direction, but you didn’t acknowledge his presence at all, continuing to dance on stage with another stripper—a male stripper—letting him touch and squeeze your tits, his undeserving hands roaming all over your body and between your legs. You bend forward, grinding your ass against his pelvis, and Levi’s eyes darken with jealousy and rage.
Is this what he gets after how he treated you yesterday? Well, he fucking deserves it, doesn’t he?
The stripper turns you in his arms so that you’re facing him, and you slowly lower yourself into a crouch until your face is level with his co—
The hostess comes back to nothing but the menu, a half-empty bottle of beer, and a bill on the table.
—---------------------------—
Okay. Take two.
There’s a different male stripper you’re dancing with.
He can’t fucking stomach it.
—---------------------------—
Fuck. Take three.
He can’t fucking chicken out again.
You’re dancing with the same man as last night. He grits his teeth, watching you bend into a backward dip, eyes falling on him in an instant, a challenge for him to act, to redeem himself. Levi’s blood runs cold as he’s forced to watch the man’s mouth on your neck, planting sucking kisses on your skin. You straighten up, pushing him away as if it’s part of the choreography, then turn to look at Levi, hooking your finger inward as if beckoning him to come closer.
His beer arrives. Emily leans forward, mouth so close to his ear he could feel her hot breath against his skin. “Go on, handsome. You better not miss another chance.”
Levi doesn’t need to be told twice. He gets up in that instant, grabbing his cane, feeling a little too proudly as he walks to the stage. You let out a seductive smile as you lie on the stage on your stomach, elbows propped on the platform, chin resting at the back of your interlaced fingers to meet him at eye level.
“Have you finally come to your senses?”
He lets out a snort. “I’m sorry. I said stupid things to you.”
“It’s okay, Levi.” The weight on his shoulder vanishes when you smile.
He lets out a relieved sigh. “Can I kiss you?”
You giggle, tugging him by the collar of his coat to pull him into a kiss, earning a loud collective gasp from the crowd.
Levi blinks when you pull away, but he quickly recovers and asks, “ready to get a room?”
You grin, pulling yourself to a sitting position. Levi takes a step back as you swing your legs towards the edge of the stage, jumping out of the platform, heels clicking loudly against the floor. You take Levi’s hand, letting him lead you out of the dancing area and towards a vacant room. You close the door behind him, keeping eye contact for a few seconds longer after the soft click of the lock.
“No saying no now, Cutie.”
“I’d be damned if I did.”
You lead him towards the bed, kissing him the moment the back of your legs hit the side of the bed. You take his clothes off without breaking away from the kiss, fingers moving deftly as they unbutton his shirt, his cane transferring from his left hand to the right as you take each sleeve off. But then he lets it fall to the ground altogether, hands finding purchase on your waist instead as you start working on his slacks, unbuttoning and zipping his fly open, the fabric hissing softly as it drops to the ground around his feet. Your hands slip under the waistbands of his boxer briefs, grabbing his butt cheeks with a firm squeeze. Levi’s breath catches in his throat, and you chuckle against his mouth as you push the underwear down, letting it join the pants in a pool on the floor.
“Can you turn?”
“Yes.” He lifts his right foot first and towards the bed. You let him lean into you as he moves his other foot, and he holds onto you closely as he sits on the side of the bed. “Fuck, that’s so pathetic.”
“Stop thinking like that about yourself,” you scold heatlessly, planting a kiss on his lips. You push him to lie down, helping him bring his feet up on the bed. Then you straddle him, squeezing his cock between your pussy lips.
“Shit!” Levi gasps, hands grabbing you by the waist. “Brat, wait–”
“No sex, I know, I know,” you say with a pout, planting your palms on his chest while grinding into him, rubbing his twitching cock against your wet folds.
“No, I–”
You press a finger against his lips. “Let me take care of you, Levi.”
Shit! He wants the sex. He wants the fucking sex!
You lean back, hands now on the mattress as you rock back and forth above him. Levi throws his head back on the pillow, mouth agape, all thoughts dissolving from his brain as you rub your cunt against his cock. Then you wrap your fingers around the head, thumb smearing pre-cum all over while pumping just the tip and rubbing the base with your pussy lips.
All his frustrations from the past days flood his belly, building up pressure that snaps just as quickly as it has built.
“Shit–” he chokes out, sounding like he’s about to cry, and spills all over his stomach.
Goddamn, he didn’t even last for ten-fucking-minutes.
“Missed me that much?” You purr, gathering his cum on your hand to coat his cock with it.
“Wait!” Levi gasps, eyes shut tight, cock still too sensitive from his last orgasm.
You continue stroking him deliberately. “Hmm, but I need you to cum again… for me this time. Can you do that?”
“What– ahh– give me– a minute!” He cries out, voice barely audible by the time he’s done talking.
You sigh deeply as you let go of his dick. Levi’s eyes fly open, and the first thing that comes to his mind is if he might have said something to hurt you again.
He did not. And you’re clearly enjoying yourself, red lips turned up in a pretty smirk as you shift on top of him, caging his right thigh between yours. You lower yourself until you’re completely sitting on his lap, lean forward and place your knuckles on the mattress next to his waist, and start rubbing your pussy against his thigh.
“Shit,” he grunts, cock twitching at the feeling of your cunt smearing slick on his skin. Goddamn, what he’d do to be inside you right-fucking-now. You straighten up, and he watches you grab your tits, squeezing and pinching your own nipples. Levi couldn’t stop his own hands from moving, raising them to replace your hands, and fuck, you feel so heavenly, your warm skin, soft tits, and hard nipples against his rough and calloused hands. You stop moving, but only to move around to straddle him, sandwiching his cock between your pussy lips. Despite himself, he no longer complains when you start grinding against him, sucking it up and letting you have it your way. You’ve been so good to him, surely he can stomach another orgasm—
His cockhead hits your hole, and he chokes out your name at how good it felt, so fucking good he thinks he might pass out the next time it happens. You take him in your hand, stroking the head and then positioning it right at your entrance. You change the direction of your hips to careful upward and downward thrusts, as if testing what just the tip would feel like, each nudge making you moan out in pleasure, each squeeze of your lips around the head making his eyes roll to the back of his skull.
“Fuuuck,” he groans, hands flying to your hips, desperate to keep you still so that he could thrust up into you completely.
“I know you want it,” you say, sounding as if you’re talking to yourself more than him. “Just say it, Levi…”
His lips part in a breathy moan as you go lower, and—
“Fuck, I’m—”
You pull him out just as thick ropes of semen spurt from his cock. You giggle, straddling him once more, milking his cock between your pussy lips, rubbing him through his high. Levi doesn’t even realize his knees are folded, both heels digging into the mattress, until he feels the sting on the left kneecap. You cry out his name, effectively distracting him from the pain in his knee, as you come undone, shuddering all over and around him. Satisfied and tired, you fall on top of him, face buried in the crook of his neck, both of you sighing in content at the feeling of each other’s body heat, ignoring the sticky fluids between your bellies and thighs. Levi’s hands move to your back, letting his fingers drift along the damp skin of your spine.
He lets the quiet moment stay, relishing in the sound of your steady breathing against his neck while his fingers move across your back, then to your arms. You nuzzle your nose at the space under his ear, and he lets out a soft chuckle when you start planting little kisses on his neck. He murmurs your name, gently squeezing your arms in an attempt to stop your pecks from turning to full-on sucking kisses. You giggle, wrapping your arms around his head, pulling yourself up to lie chest to chest with him. His hands drift along the side of your body, settling at the small of your back. You start kissing his nose, and he groans heatlessly.
“You’re so pretty,” you murmur, brushing away his fringe, twirling his hair in your fingers. “Have I already told you that I love the color of your eye?”
His cheeks heat up at the compliment, but he doesn’t object either way. He stares into your face as you keep playing with the tips of his hair before breaking his silence, murmuring your name so softly as if it’s glass that would break in his mouth, and then telling you to listen.
“I said shitty things to you, and I can’t apologize enough. I should’ve said them in a better way, but I didn’t, and I’m so sorry for not knowing what to say.”
“Levi…” You bury your face in his neck. “I told you, it’s fine. I understand. Let’s forget about it.”
He slightly tilts his head, lips softly grazing your temple. “I didn’t mean it that way, I didn’t intend for it to sound that way.”
“I know,” you murmur against his neck.
“I don’t deserve you.”
You hum in disagreement. “That’s for me to decide.”
“Fine,” he relents. “But I’m sorry. I’m sorry I said those things to you.”
You lift your face to look at him, a mischievous smile plastered on your lips. “Since you’re so desperate…”
Oh, shit.
“I’ll only accept your apology… if you have sex with me.”
He rolls his eyes. “I should’ve known.”
You chuckle, staring into his eyes for a moment before planting your lips on his. Then you slip your hand between your bodies to reach for his cock.
“W–wait!” He chokes out. “Not now. I– I need to be home soon.”
“Ugh,” you groan with an eye roll. “You and your annoying curfew.”
He chokes on his saliva. “What?”
“Nothing,” you tease, placing a kiss on his lips. He hums, pleased with the interaction, and a little smile blooms in your lips as you pull away. “Alright, grumps. Let’s get you dressed.”
He tightens his arms around your waist. “Wait.” You blink at him, and he swallows down the lump in his throat.
It’s now or never.
“Do you have any plans tomorrow night?”
“Tomorrow night…?” You parrot, blinking.
“Christmas Eve.”
You’re stunned for a second before cracking another teasing smile. “Are you asking me to welcome Christmas with you, Levi?”
“Obviously,” he deadpans.
You giggle, then frown. “I have work but… I get perks for being Venus.” You peck at his lips again, once, twice.
“Is that a yes?”
“Do you have a fireplace?” you ask back.
He raises a brow. “If I didn't?”
“I’d invite you to my place instead! I’ve always dreamed of sex by the fireplace.”
“Your idea of a Christmas countdown is ridiculous," he says with a snort. “But I do have a fireplace.”
“Then, it’s a deal! I’ll prepare the food!” You grin, squeezing his arm in excitement. “Can’t wait for our first date!”
Levi’s heart skips a beat.
—---------------------------—
Exactly a year ago, at this very hour, Levi was already in bed, praying the nightmares would give him a break while waiting for the pills to knock him unconscious. He didn’t wait for the clock to strike twelve, there’s no reason to, now that there’s no one to badger him to stay awake for Christmas and for his birthday, no reason to celebrate now that he doesn’t have his friends with him anymore.
He should be doing the same right now, staying warm under the blankets, staring at the ceiling while the ticking of the clock lulls him to sleep, but he’s not. Instead, he’s standing under a tree outside a pastry shop that just closed for the night. The wide street, bursting with warm-toned twinkling lights that are hung across, is still bustling. People walk around despite the cold and the continuous snow. While a few shops have already closed, some restaurants are still operating and crowded with people celebrating an early Christmas Eve with their friends.
Levi watches the snow lazily drifting around and he’s suddenly reminded of a time when the younger scouts, newly recruited and having survived another hell in the training grounds, are throwing snowballs at each other, enjoying a few peaceful hours of their lives. When he sees a group of men and women raising their mugs overflowing with beer, cheering with smiles so wide they could split their faces in half, he remembers a time when he had a couple of drinks with his own friends, watching them getting drunk until they passed out. He catches a few kids running along with presents in their hands, and he remembers receiving his own—a box of tea, a pair of hand-knitted mittens, a quill pen, a whole set of cleaning supplies…
Realizing he never got to take any of them with him breaks his heart. He has nothing of Erwin’s, nothing of Hange’s, Moblit’s, Nanaba’s or Miche’s. None that will physically remind him of Petra, Eld, Gunther, and Oluo. It's a shame they never had the means to print photographs before, and all he has are memories and the never-ending yearning to see them again, the ache to celebrate at least one last holiday, one more birthday, with them.
His eyes flicker to your face, zooming into focus when he realizes you’re in front of him.
“You look like you were somewhere far away,” you chuckle, wrapping an arm around his arm.
“I was.” He looks down at your linked arms, then at the furoshiki bag on your left. “What’s that?”
You look at him expectantly, refusing to answer.
“What?”
You pout at him, and he bites back a chuckle, thinking you look cute. “You’re forgetting something.”
“I’m not,” he answers after seconds of thinking. You point at something above your heads, and Levi follows with his eye to see nothing but leaves and white berries.
“Don’t tell me you don’t know,” you narrow your eyes at him.
He’s getting impatient. “Know what, brat?”
“Kiss me,” you giggle, tugging at his arm when he only looks at you with a deadpan stare. You close your eyes, then slightly purse your lips for him to kiss.
Levi couldn’t help but smile at the way you look, so eager for a kiss from him, of all people. “You’re weird,” he murmurs, already leaning forward to plant his lips on yours, lasting only for a few seconds. He pulls away, realizes he quite liked it, so he leans in for another, a little longer this time. You laugh against the kiss, arm tightening around his elbow as he pulls away. He raises a brow, ignoring the heat blooming in his chest. “Now, what?”
You start walking, steering the two of you out of the commercial district. “Well, there’s a cute tradition that kissing under the mistletoe fosters lasting friendship or ensures marriage.”
Levi stops in his tracks, says “wrong way,” while pointing his cane in the other direction, and you chuckle at your mistake.
“And you believe that shit?”
Your face twists in a frown. “Is that a bad thing?”
“No,” he answers a little quickly.
You smile at him. “Well, I do want to be friends with you. Marriage is a bonus.”
“Hm.” He lets the topic pass, reminding himself that he should be happy that you want to be friends, and asks if you need help with the bag instead.
"It's not that heavy,” you say dismissively. “I made mincemeat pies, strawberry pudding, and brought cocoas for hot choc—” you stop abruptly, worry washing over your face when you see the uncertainty on his own. “What? You don’t like pie? Or the pudding? Or hot chocolate?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever had that mincemeat pie before.”
“Oh,” you chuckle, hands tightening around his arm in delight, “lucky you, my pies are the best in the whole world! You’re never going to want to try another.”
He smirks. “Sure.”
.
His house may not be big, but it’s cozy and smells of the tea blend that’s become your favorite from his shop. He lets you in first, telling you where to leave your boots and then taking your coat from you to deposit it on the clothes stand together with his own jacket, leaving you in a long burgundy cardigan, black knee length dress (which he will shortly find out has a plunging neckline), and thigh-high stockings. How you aren’t freezing in those clothes is beyond him.
You walk around appreciating how scrupulously tidy everything is. And then: “you don’t live with your kids?”
“My kids?” he blinks, and then it slowly dawns on him which kids you’re talking about. “They’re not my kids, idiot.”
You laugh, knowing he doesn’t mean that in a bad way, as you peek at the bathroom, humming appreciatively at the squeaky-clean tiles. Then, you turn to look quickly at the adjacent compact storage space where he keeps the shoe rack and cleaning supplies. Levi watches you make your way to the small living room, with only one single couch, a small coffee table, and the fireplace. You set your bag on the dining table while your eyes hover at the fridge, stove, and the kitchen counter, and ultimately at the ornate wooden dividers that separate the bed area and the small back porch from the rest of the house.
He lights the fireplace while you start setting the table with the pies, pudding, and the wine you bought on your way (despite his objections), changing your plans of making hot chocolates to tomorrow morning instead. He joins you shortly, sitting next to you after you insisted on it, and begins eating.
The pie does taste great, but instead of saying that, he teases you by fake-pondering about trying another recipe to confirm and then laughing at the way you pouted and accused him of betrayal. The pudding tastes a little too sweet for him, and you only nod as if you’ve anticipated it. For the next hour and a half, you do most of the talking about yourself and he only listens, and without even realizing it, he remembers everything you said. He even considers asking when your birthday is, for he wants to buy you a new pair of ballet shoes when you said you used to dance ballet.
With the pies and pudding all consumed, you begin washing the dishes while Levi adds more wood to the fireplace to maintain the fire, then he takes the couch and waits for you. You find the light switches, turning them off and leaving only the fire and the dim streetlight outside to illuminate the interior of the house. You bring the bottle of wine and highball glasses with you, laughing at the way Levi looks at you when you fill half of the glasses with wine. You raise your glass for a toast and then take a gulp.
“Brat, that’s not beer you’re drinking,” he snorts, to which you respond with a chuckle before taking a gentle sip this time. “Sit down here,” he says, patting the armrest of the chair.
You let out a playful hum, crossing your arms and tapping the mouth of the glass against your lower lip. “I’d like to dance for you,” you say, immediately getting into position: arms held out in front of your body, sloping down from the shoulder, and elbows in an oval shape, and your feet are pointed outwards, legs crossed and feet touching, with the heel of one foot placed beside the toes of the other. Levi keeps his eyes on your face, straining to see the soft smile on your lips, while his ears are focused on the gentle scratches of your right foot against the floor as you tendu to the side, right leg now extended and toes pointed at the floor, and then plie in the back, where your knees are half-bent and your heels flat on the floor. You lock eyes with him, then turn around on your left toes twice and fast, eyes zipping right back to Levi’s fate after. You grin, taking another gulp of your wine, and it dawns on him that you managed to twirl without sloshing your drink. The corner of his mouth turns up in amusement, and you let out a delighted squeal.
“Say it, you’re impressed!”
“I am,” he says simply. “Is that what you do in ballet?”
“Mhm!” You giggle, drinking the rest of your wine.
He offers to refill your drink for you, but once your hands are free, you start taking your cardigan off, leaving you in only your halter tie dress. Levi pauses, bottle slightly tipped, and watches as the cloth drops in a pool behind your ankles.
“I don’t think that’s still ballet you’re doing,” he muses, eyebrows raised.
You slowly strut forward, offering your right hand. “Would you indulge me in a dance?”
“If you don’t mind my third leg.”
You chuckle, taking his hands. He grumbles under his breath, but lets you pull him up from the couch, nevertheless. You grab his cane for him, then you close the gap between your bodies and place his hand at the small of your back. His cold fingers meet the warm skin of your back, and all he could think of is to pull you even closer, letting the tip of his fingers glide lower until they’re at your upper buttock.
Your smile tells him you like where he’s touching you.
You place your arms over his shoulders, swaying your bodies to a music he pretends to be hearing along with you. He focuses on the ghost of a smile on your lips, remembering how he once thought he would never be able to dance like this again now that his knee is injured.
“You smell so good,” he murmurs, unable to stop himself from leaning closer.
Your hands transfer to the sides of his shoulders as you tilt your head to the side, allowing him to press his nose on your neck, where your perfume smells stronger. His eyes close, rolling to the back of his head as he deeply inhales your scent, and before he even realizes, his lips move to kiss your neck. You suddenly pull away, and he instantly regrets doing it.
But you’re smiling—smirking—as you take his hand to yours, stepping backwards until your and his arms are extended. He gently tugs at your hand, and you grin, pulling yourself towards him, turning in his arms until your back is pressed against his chest.
“How the fuck are you not cold?” he grumbles, seeing your naked back.
“Oh, I’m cold,” you chuckle, swaying your hips, causing your ass to grind against his growing erection. “And you’re going to help me get warm.” With your head tilted to the side, you lean it back against his shoulder.
“Hm,” he nuzzles the back of your shoulder with his nose. Then he moves up, kissing the junction where your ear and neck meet, and plants a trail of kisses down the side of your neck to your shoulder. You let go of his hand and take a step away from him, and he nearly complains, once again left wanting more of your skin against his mouth.
“Will you help me take it off?”
You hold one of the tie’s ends so that Levi can pull at the other easily, and he watches as the ties disappear behind your shoulders. He touches the nape of your neck, savoring the smoothness of your skin against his calloused fingers as he guides them down your spine, until they reach the hidden zipper of your dress. You hold the fabric on each side so he could pull the hook without bringing the dress with it, revealing the red thin waistbands of your thong.
“The fuck.”
You sway your hips, and the dress smoothly drops and pools around your feet. Levi swallows, eyes trailing down your butt cheeks to your legs that are covered in stockings.
You face him, nudging his chest gently. “Your turn.”
He drops on the couch, his cane to the ground. You lean forward, planting your left knee on the cushion beside his right, and start unbuttoning his shirt, and he lets you undress him like a child who couldn’t manage on his own. You throw his shirt somewhere, laughing at his complaints of the dirty floor while you take his undershirt off him, tossing it away where it joins his other shirt on the ground.
“Just relax,” you purr, gently pushing him to lean back on the couch before working on unbuckling his belt and getting rid of only his pants first, leaving it to pool around his feet. “Oh, Levi,” you sigh, letting your fingertips glide ever so smoothly along his hard-on, boxer briefs already stained with pre-cum. He lets out a sharp breath, stomach rapidly rising and falling, cock twitching against the confining prison of the fabric that covers him.
“Please,” is all he manages to utter, desperate to be released—desperate for a release.
“Please what?” you hum, tracing a finger along the most visible vein through the fabric.
“Fuck–”
You lean closer. “Hm?”
“I– I want to fuck,” he sighs, as if the admission is a burden that he’s finally relieved of.
“You held out long enough.” You press a kiss on his forehead.
Your fingers slip under the waistbands of his boxers, and he quickly lifts his hips, extremely eager to rid of the offending fabric. His cock springs free, and he lets out a breathy “ahh,” when it twitches at the sudden cold air. You toss his boxers aside, and he couldn’t even begin to care about where it’ll land or how it’ll spoil whatever it touches as he reaches for your hips and guides you down to sit on his lap.
“Oh, but I want to dance some more for you,” you whine, holding his shoulders to keep him at arm’s length.
“No more,” he croaks, hands traveling up your chest and to the sides of your neck, thumbs pressed against your lower cheeks. “Can’t fucking take it anymore.” He reels you in for a kiss, passionate, gentle, until you start grinding into his hips, cockhead smearing pre-cum on your already soaked through underwear. A groan elicits from his throat and his tongue slips into your mouth, drawing out a tiny moan from you in return. His hands roam all over your back, as if they have a mind of their own and are committing to memory the feeling of your smooth skin as they glide down to your hips, then to your thighs, lightly scratching against the smooth surface of your stockings. If his nails are a little longer, he would’ve torn the fabric and yet he wouldn’t care—he’d gladly buy you a new one. He’d gladly buy as many as you want. You lean back, leaving your left hand at the back of his head while you place the other on the arm rest for support, and move your hips up and down, rubbing your wet thong against his rock-hard cock. Levi lifts his half-lidded eyes to your face, his cheeks slightly tinted red, shallow breaths slipping past his parted lips, and moves his hands to your chest, generously squeezing your tits, causing you to throw your head back in a loud sigh.
But you quickly return your gaze to his, sharp and demanding when you say, “suck me.”
He obeys in an instant, straightening up to reach for a tit, mouth latching around the mound and tongue twirling against the erected nipple, all while his hand remains at the underside, squeezing you firmly towards his mouth. You moan out loud, keeping your eyes trained on where his lips are closed in around your mound, calling out his name so that he’d lift his face and look back at you. His lips pull away from your tit, making you watch his tongue as it flips your nipple like it’s a fucking switch, each movement only turning you on even more. His lips close in on your tit again with a loud sucking breath, pulling at your nipple until you’re a babbling mess, then he moves onto your other breast, licking and sucking red marks on the skin around the areola before sucking on the mound and your perked up nipple.
Levi pulls away and begs, “take me in.”
Your left hand transfers to the armrest so that you can hold his cock with your right, drawing out a loud breathy moan from him. He goes back to mouthing your tit while you work on his cock, stroking the head and then hitting your clothed clit with it, pushing it into your covered hole, eliciting a sigh from the both of you. Desperate to feel you around him, Levi reaches for your thong, pushing away the fabric. When skin finally meets skin, you tremble, a whimper escaping your mouth while Levi unintentionally bites at your tit.
“Take me in,” he murmurs your name pleadingly, looking up at you with eyes blown wide with lust and want.
You gather your slick with your fingers and coat the shaft with it, and he groans through gritted teeth, eyes trained on your face while you watch his glistening head as it’s guided towards your hole with your hand. You meet his eye, but soon break away from the eye contact, eyes rolling to the back of your head when you finally take him in.
“Fuuuuck…” he sighs, deep and long, and you cry out a moan as your cunt swallows down all of him. You shut your eyes, throw your other hand on the armrest, and move your hips in a circular motion to relish the delicious stretch. Levi’s wraps his arms around your waist, watching the smooth movement of your stomach that reminds him of calm flowing water, and strangely, that’s what he feels despite the ache in his belly: an undercurrent of calmness brought by your presence, of the feeling of your body against his, of the realization that he fucking likes you, and that he’s spending Christmas and welcoming his birthday with you, with his cock getting all hot and comfy in your cunt, his mouth latched on your chest, and his arms tight around your waist.
“Come on,” he urges, grabbing your butt cheeks. You straighten up, pressing his face against your chest as you wrap your arms closely around his head, fingers raked through his silky hair. Levi manages to sit in a slightly slouched position for better angle, and you press your knees on his waist and place your feet on his thighs. Fingers splayed on your butt cheeks, he guides your hips up and down, slowly at first, until you pick up your pace. Levi closes his eyes, nuzzling his nose between your jiggling chests. Then he lifts his face and his lips repeatedly graze the skin below your chin. He murmurs your name, hears nothing from you except the tiny whimpers you’re making and the slapping of your thighs against his. When your movements slow, he’d squeeze your ass and smack them, and you’d quicken your pace again, whimpering louder than before with your mouth close to his ear, and it’s all he could hear—the pretty sounds your mouth and your pussy lips make, and the crackling of fire in the background. He lowers his face, catching one of your tits, and keeps his mouth and tongue busy with your perked up nipple.
“Levi…” Your fingers grasp at the threads of his hair, tilting his head back and forcing him to look up at you. He lets go of your breast with a pop, then you crash your mouth into his, moaning down his throat, as your movements turn erratic. Needier. More desperate.
A thin string of saliva connects your mouth to his when you pull away. You catch it with the tip of your tongue, ultimately licking at Levi’s lips, drawing out a loud moan from him.
“Will you let me cum in you?” he asks, and you answer instantly with a nod. You lean back once more, hands returning to the armrests. Levi keeps his left hand on your hips while the other slips between your stomachs, turning you into a mewling and twitching mess when his fingers find your clit, pinching and then circling on it.
“Suck me, Levi. Keep sucking me, please.”
The desperation in your voice makes him growl, stirring awake what’s been dormant in him. He snaps up, seizing one of your tits in his mouth and sucking hard, and you moan even louder, so loud he’s certain if there’s anyone passing by outside, they’d hear you. You watch your breast stretching when he pulls at it, tongue twirling at the nipple and then letting it go with a pop. He turns to your other breast, pouring attention on your needy nipple. You sigh out in pleasure, eyes flickering to his mouth around your mound, then to the shadows on the wall, to your seemingly dancing silhouette as you grind against his hips. Your grip around his cock tightens, and he feels it, makes his cock pulse inside you. You’re both close, and he wants nothing more than for you to cum around him while you milk him.
“You’re gonna let me cum in you.” He’s uncertain whether it’s a statement or a question, but you murmur a ‘yes’ either way.
“Levi–” you whimper, as if in warning, and then you grunt, taking all of him in one sharp thrust, body convulsing as you climax.
He grits his teeth, disappointed at the sudden loss of friction, so he grabs your hips and makes you ride him through your high, eyes flickering at your trembling stomach then at your red pussy lips, swallowing him whole and then releasing him coated in your cum. The sight makes him throb and in one final thrust and a very loud grunt, he comes undone, cock twitching inside you, filling your womb with his cum. His vision turns white, and the force of his orgasm sends his feet lifting from the ground as he jerks his hips to meet yours. You whimper his name, already sensitive from your orgasm, but you don’t stop him from fucking into you, pumping you full and painting his cock in more white.
There’s a sharp pain in his left knee, but he somehow quickly forgets it when he sees the fucked-out grin on your face. He smirks in response, fingers digging into your cheeks as he tugs you into a contrastingly gentle kiss. Your arms find his shoulders again, wrapped gently around his neck as you kiss him back for what feels like an hour.
When you pull away, you’re smiling, somewhat teasing when you ask, “do I get five stars?”
“Ten out of ten,” he chuckles, wrapping his arms around your waist.
Outside, in the distance, fireworks go off as the clock strikes twelve.
You laugh, pulling his face to your chest in a hug. You kiss the top of his head and quietly greet him, “Merry Christmas, Levi.”
“Merry Christmas,” he murmurs your name, arms tightening around your waist, and plants a kiss on your neck. “Thank you for spending it with me.”
“Mhm,” you hum against his hair, caressing the back of his head with your fingers. “We should drink the rest of the wine and go to bed. What do you think?”
You remain seated on his lap in the next half hour, drinking and sharing stories with each other—you with your childhood memories, and Levi with the easier days he remembers from when he’s still in the Scouts. If that makes you realize that he’s from Paradis, you don’t show it, and he appreciates that. He tells you a little about his friends, about Erwin who was the commander dedicated to humanity's survival. He tells you about Hange, eccentric, annoyingly energetic, and obsessed with the titans. He tells you about his special squad and the doe-eyed girl he secretly liked. He tells you about the bond Eren, Armin, and Mikasa had, of Sasha, Jean, and Connie’s friendship, and how they made him miss Isabel and Furlan every day.
With the wine all consumed, he finally invites you to bed. You offer to put out the fireplace, and he watches, admiring your naked body from where he sits. There’s a strange yet warm feeling in his chest as you stand side by side, brushing your teeth together.
Once in bed, you refuse to sleep. You pepper his face with kisses, spending more time on his mouth before trailing lower, trailing kisses along his scars. Then you take him into your mouth, waking up his cock so quickly with your skilled hands and tongue, and once he’s rock-hard, you ride him into oblivion, his orgasm hitting him harder this time that it lasts longer than earlier. You lie chest to chest, your pussy lips still twitching around his cock from your own orgasm.
He kisses your temple, arms wrapped gently around your waist and tells you to go to sleep.
But what he doesn’t realize is he’s the first one who succumbs to sleep, the feeling of your fingers gently tracing along the scars on his chest being the last thing that registers in his mind as he slowly loses his consciousness.
—---------------------------—
He wakes up to a loud banging on his door.
And then, Gabi’s voice, shouting his name from outside the house.
“Shit.” He murmurs your name and gently shakes you to rouse you from sleep. You moan sleepily, turning away from him to go back to sleep. He squeezes your arm, urgently this time, and says, “brat, wake up. They’re here.”
He sits the two of you up gently, and then he gets off the bed, having no time to watch you scratch the sleep away from your eyes.
“Who’s they?” you murmur.
“Gabi, Falco, and maybe even Onyankopon.” He walks to his dresser to get a fresh set of clothes for him and for you, hoping they’d fit you just fine.
“Oh…”
“What, oh? Get moving, woman.”
You jump out from the bed. “Where do you want me to go? Do you need me to hide?”
He pauses to glance at you. “Hide? Why would I hide you from them?”
“Erm— I… don’t know,” you shrug.
“Leviiiii! Wake up, you old man!” shouts Gabi from the front door. Falco peeks from one of the windows, but fortunately for you both, Levi has drawn them last night.
“Get the clothes. You’ll find the laundry basket in the bathroom.”
“Okay!” you squeak, springing into action. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the sounds of your hurried footsteps as you gather your clothes and bring them to the said laundry basket, all while the kids are pounding on his door and shouting in the background. You come back shortly, panting, still wearing nothing, and fuck, it sends the blood rushing to where he doesn’t need it going right now. He ignores the building ache in his belly, lending you a set of clothes for you to wear. You both get dressed quickly, and soon he answers the door, pretending he’s all grumpy from just waking up.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LEVI—”
Shit.
The kids' voices die down, and their eyes widen to the size of saucers, jaws slack, when they see you standing behind him.
“You’re the pretty lady in the tea shop!” Gabi exclaims.
He turns to you, and the surprised look on your face instantly fills him with shame for not telling you about his birthday.
But then, you smile, a genuine one, washing away the worry in his guts. “Happy birthday, Levi.” The smile quickly disappears, and in a more serious tone, you add, “you didn’t tell me.”
Oh, fuck.
“That’s Levi for you,” Gabi says with a shrug.
You raise a brow at him. He pretends to not notice, turning to the kids and Onyankopon instead. “Come in. It’s fucking cold.”
Once they’re all inside, he introduces you to them. Onyankopon shakes hands with you, and greets you a Merry Christmas, followed by Falco and Gabi, who adds “I knew he was going to hit on you!”
“Brat,” he chokes out.
Onyankopon sets the cake and soup on the table. Gabi hits Falco with a resounding slap at the back, telling him to stop ogling your chest, earning a laugh from you.
Levi stands beside you and apologizes for not telling you about today. You smile, hugging his arm, and kissing his cheek. “It’s alright. Happy birthday, Levi.”
“Thanks.” He tilts his head to the side, gently bumping into yours.
The candle on the cake gets lit, then the four of you sing him a happy birthday. Since there aren’t enough chairs, only Levi sits while you join the other three in your soup while standing. The kids mention the ongoing holiday bazaar, inviting you to come with them tonight, and happily agree to. Neither you nor Levi reveal where you actually met each other, thinking it doesn’t matter at the moment. Onyankopon lights the fireplace, where you all soon gather before to eat the cake they brought. Levi sits on the couch, the rest of you on the floor.
Later that day, when the three have gone back home, you stay with Levi, huddled together on the sofa with you sitting across his lap, quietly watching the fire as it eats away at the woods. You wrap your arms around his waist, lifting your face to kiss his jaw, and he pulls you closer, right arm wrapped around your shoulders.
“Will you let me stay?” you ask, face buried in the crook of his neck.
He tilts his head to kiss your forehead. “If you let me stay in yours.”
hey! thank you, thank you, for reading through this humongous one shot. i do hope you liked it enough that you'd consider liking and/or reblogging it <333
@monthlywritingchallenges's AUpril day 01: coffee shop au
⋆˙⟡ the coffee was good—better than most you had tried by far, but it was the barista that kept you coming back for more. there was just something so painfully familiar about him.
⋆˙⟡ barista!enjin x fem!reader. 7441w. nsfw, angst. ex-lovers/past relationships, implied traumatic history between enjin and reader, blood and violence, holdup/robbery and gun threat, character death, shameless flirting, coffee dates, smut, semi-public (restroom) sex, memory manipulation, use of neurotransmitters/lab experiments (on reader)
i only started writing this four days before today...very little research about memory manipulation and that stuff was done, so not everything mentioned in the story is reliable. i just really wanted to write something like this >_<
⋆˙⟡ masterlist | read on ao3 | header by @/steddiecameraroll-graphics
[Memory Log 1.1: I Caught Fire]
Walls overcrowded with rock band posters and a rock song playing in the speakers were what you would’ve not expected when you entered the new coffee shop near where you workplace.
There’s a weird feeling in your gut—everything felt oddly familiar. From the song, the ambience, to the chair arrangements and potted plants. It felt like you’ve been in this place a few times before.
Sitting behind the service counter were two baristas, doomscrolling on their phones. There weren’t a lot of customers at that moment—just a group of three drinking their iced coffees. The barista closest to the register scrambled to get up when he realized your presence and welcomed you with a warm smile. His name tag read Gris. You tried not to stare for more than three seconds at the scar across his left eye.
“Hi,” you greeted back, then turned to the overhead menu. There were six coffee flavors, no tea blends. Even for food choices they didn't have much—two kinds of pasta, two flavors of toasts, and sugar cookies and brownies for pastries. You saw the same from their menu stand outside and it made you think twice about going in. But they were one of the few new coffee shops near your office that you hadn’t tried yet, so why not? You’ve got nothing to lose except a few minutes of commuting back home.
“Hot latte, please. Do you have soy milk as an alternative?”
“Yes,” he smiled, “but it would be an additional buck.”
“Sure.” You assumed there was only one size. There was no indication otherwise on the menu and only one size of mugs was on their cupboards. “That’s all. I’ll have it here.”
The other blond got up, taking it as his cue to start preparing your drink. You paid for your bill, put all the change into the tip jar, and left to find a table. You sat near the claiming area where you could watch the other barista operate the espresso machine. His back was facing your way, showing you a view of the baggy clothes that he was wearing under his brown apron. He was tall but looked rather skinny. Intricate swirls of red and black ink adorned his neck, and he wore a pair of thick hoop earrings. He also has a scar on the side of his head.
Was having scars a thing now?
You took your phone out and pretended to scroll through your social media newsfeed while stealing glances of the tattooed barista. As he poured the steamed milk into the espresso, you noticed that even his fingers had tattoos and his nails were polished with black. He put the mug on a tray, followed by some tissue paper and a stirrer. You were ready to get up, expecting he’d call your name, but he served your order himself instead.
♪ in your eyes, I lost my place, could stay a while… and I’m melting…
He was towering up close. He was handsome, but not your type of handsome—spiky hair, eyes a vivid citrine, sharp facial features. You bit back a giggle—he reminded you of sunflowers, oddly so, with the blond hair, striking yellow eyes, and the brown apron. His nameplate read Enjin, and when you met his gaze, he grinned, his eyes crinkling and the dimples appearing beside his lips.
“Hot café latte for the princess.”
What a flirt, you thought, biting back the laugh that had threatened to spill from your mouth.
“Thanks.” You looked away to your coffee, fearing you would be staring far longer than you should be at his handsome smile, and found that he had drawn a winking emoticon in special characters as latte art. Behind him, Gris sighed, and while it was a bit unprofessional for a barista to do this, you found it quite amusing.
“Enjoy,” he said, winking just like the figure he drew, and left.
There was something with the way he moved that felt familiar. The confident walk, the hands in his pocket, the way he shrugged and the sound of his laughter when Gris reprimanded him—it felt like you had watched this scene numerous times before.
You turned back to your drink and found three packs of bite-size brownies next to the mug.
[Memory Log 2.1: Follow You]
The coffee and brownies were surprisingly good. That was enough reason for you to come back and try a few more of what they offer.
Well… that, and you also kind of want to see Enjin again… even when last night you had spent a good hour and a half convincing yourself that you didn’t like the sound of him calling you princess.
There still was a noisy pop rock song that played when you entered, still vaguely familiar like yesterday’s.
♪ so you can drag me through hell, if it meant I could hold your hand…
There were four customers this time. An old lady, and the group of three from yesterday—a raven-haired man, a childish-looking woman, and a man in long dreads.
Enjin stepped out of the stock room, a faint smirk curling his lips when he saw you waiting by the counter. His hair was down unlike yesterday. You thought he looked cuter like that.
Gris followed behind, carrying a pack of whole beans to grind. He smiled the moment he saw you. “You’re back!”
“Hello,” you greeted back with a smile, looking up at the overhead menu. You could feel Enjin watching. He was openly staring. Was this how he always flirted? “I’ll have a hot vanilla latte and…”
♪ and you can throw me to the flames
If looks could burn, you would be ashes now.
You turned to Gris, clearing your throat. “...a banana chocolate toast.”
Gris punched in your orders. Enjin had already turned away to make your coffee, thank goodness. You swore you would’ve combusted if he didn’t stop staring at you soon. You paid your bill, dropped the change in the tip jar, and left to find a seat—the same one you occupied yesterday.
Enjin, again, served your order himself.
“Vanilla latte, banana chocolate toast…” he paused, fishing for something from the pocket of his apron, “‘n a cookie.”
A sunflower sugar cookie.
You met his overly charming grin with a confused gaze. “You can't just give me stuff for free…” First, it was the brownies. Now, this.
He produced another cookie from his apron, this time, heart shaped. “Oops. Just did it again,” he grinned, and you were once again overcome with the feeling that this was familiar. Too familiar. “Enjoy, princess.”
He turned to leave. You caught Gris shaking his head at Enjin, like a brother scolding his younger sibling.
Shaking the weird feeling off, you grabbed the sunflower cookie and instead, wondered if he was the one who baked and decorated it. You imagined him pipping the icing with unwavering focus, biting on his lower lip as he tries to draw the outlines straightly. Cute, you thought, biting back a giggle. A sharp pain suddenly tore through your head, and an image flashed before your eyes—you holding a huge sunflower that was freshly picked, posing for a selfie with someone. You saw yellow, then red, his smile, a tattooed arm over your shoulders, his lips pressed on your temple, but before you could even get a grasp on any of it, the image turned to a blinding white and a piercing sound rang in your ears.
The cookie fell to the ground.
The raven-haired customer was watching you closely.
Everything turned black.
“Again,” says a deep voice.
[Memory Log 1.2: Pinky Swear]
It started raining the moment you walked into the café, and the sight that welcomed you was definitely not what you expected. Three electric guitars were mounted on the wall that was crowded with posters of different bands, some even signed. From Funkadelic, Maná, Metallica, to All Time Low, Greenday, Bring Me the Horizon, and so on. You thought you might have walked into a music store and not a coffee shop.
Like what the reviews said, even the song that was playing was “un-café-like”.
♪ tie your hand to mine, so you can't go away
There were only three customers at that time, a group consisting of a raven-haired man munching on a sandwich, a brown skinned man with long hair styled in dreads, sipping a frappe, and a childish-looking woman shaking her iced coffee.
“Hello!” The barista greeted you with a smile. You thought his eyes were the prettiest blue you had ever seen… despite the scar across his left eye.
“I’d like a Spanish lat—” Hot latte, said a voice that sounded like your own in your head.
♪ put me in your pocket, pinky swear you'll stay
The barista tilted his head in question.
“Hot latte,” you blurted out in correction. A high pitch ringing started to assault your ears. “And a banana—”
Everything turned black.
“Again,” commands a deep voice laced with impatience.
[Memory Log 1.3: I Caught Fire]
It was scorching hot outside. Fortunately for you, the newly opened coffee shop that you had been wanting to try since last week was nearby the office.
The reviews were crazy. You read some last night since you were planning to drop by today. Most people said the coffee and pastries tasted superb, but the ambience was “un-café-like”.
You thought you understood now.
It was noisy, with the speakers blaring The Used’s I Caught Fire. The walls looked dirty to the eyes only because it was overcrowded with posters of rock bands along with three electric guitars mounted on the wall at the center.
Weird theme for a coffee shop, you thought as you scanned the interior. There were only three customers, a group who were each sipping frappes and appeared to be refusing to look at each other and talk, as if they came to have coffee despite having beef with each other.
“Hello!”
You turned to the smiling barista behind the register. He had eyes the color of clear sky and he was handsome despite the long scar across the left one.
You smiled back and said, “Iced Spanish latte, please. Do you have soy milk as an alternative?”
“Yes,” he nodded, “but it would be an additional buck.”
“That’s fine.”
He punched in your order and asked if you wanted anything else, to which you shook your head.
And then, you hear the sound of the espresso machine. There on the other side of the service area was a second barista. A spiky blond with black and red tattoos on his neck.
Hmm. He wasn’t there earlier, was he? You didn’t notice him coming from anywhere either.
“Miss?”
You turned to the barista in front of you, murmuring an apology as you quickly fished for your purse to pay. You sat near the claiming area where you could watch the other barista operate the espresso machine, his presence still a huge mystery to you. You were certain you would’ve noticed him when you arrived. With that height and the baggy clothes he wore, he wasn’t easy to miss.
But that wasn’t just it; he felt familiar. Had you seen him somewhere before? The tattoos on his neck looked so familiar that an image of his naked body filled with black and white ink flashed before your eyes.
A sharp pain tore through your head, it felt like your skull was splitting in half. It dissipated just as fast as it had come, leaving a faint buzz in your ears and a funny feeling in your mouth.
Your order was soon served by the barista with tattoos. Up close, he looked so familiar it felt strange.
“Here’s your latte, princess.”
It would kill you if you didn’t ask. “Are you a celebrity?”
He blinked, unsure if he heard you right, then exploded in a laugh so loud it echoed in the nearly empty coffee shop. You wanted to smack him in the head, but you didn’t want to be accused of assault or whatever either.
“What the hell!” He was still laughing, although a little toned down now. “I— pfft— been told ‘m— handsome countless of times but— a celebrity?” He sat next to you to steady himself, his face red and eyes teary as he continued to laugh.
The sound of his laughter was so familiar it was painful. Quite literally. There was an ache in your chest that you couldn’t explain.
“Goddamn...” You rubbed your forehead as headache began to blossom. Even the buzzing in your ears had gotten louder. “You just looked familiar, okay?” You clarified.
He calmed down a short moment later, his laughter reduced to a contented sigh. “Well, I’ll take it as a compli— shit!” He sprang from the chair, pulling a handkerchief from the pocket of his pants and nearly shoving it on your face. “‘Yer nose is bleeding!”
You didn’t get the chance to react to anything at all because—
—your eyes open. You come face to face with a man in long dreads.
“Sister’s awake!” he announces happily. “But she’s bleeding. Poor sister.”
Your lips part to speak but nothing comes out of your mouth. Your throat is dry. Your tongue tastes funny. Metallic. There’s a quiet hum in the background and the air smelled strongly of antiseptics.
A woman whose hair is dyed in blue appears to your left, holding a damp white cloth which she gently dabs at the space under your nose. It comes off with a tinge of red.
“How is she?” Asks a deep voice behind you.
You try to turn your head but realize there is something holding your neck to the bed. Even your wrists are strapped in place. What the hell?!
“Looks A-OK!” the guy in dreads answers cheerfully with matching hand gestures.
The woman sighs, “she obviously isn’t.”
“Come on, it’s just a simple nosebleed!” Dreads says dismissively. “Don’t baby her!”
“Start it again,” orders the third voice.
Dreads prances away, singing, “Come, come, come with me! Let’s take a trip down the mem’ry lane~”
“Zodyl.” There’s an edge in the woman’s tone that triggers fear in you. “We’ll fry her brains if we don't stop now.”
There’s silence, the kind that tells you the man doesn’t care. And then: “fine. Last one.”
She lets out a deep breath, somewhat relieved, and reaches for something nearby—a syringe with something purple inside. Panic pools at the pit of your stomach, even more so when she brings the needle to your neck. You look her in the eyes, hoping for eye contact, but it’s clear she’s avoiding it.
Your vision begins to blur. Only then does she meet your eyes and says, “Vanilla—”
“ —latte, banana chocolate toast…” Enjin paused, fishing for something from the pocket of his apron, “‘n a sugar cookie.”
A daisy shaped sugar cookie.
You met his charming grin with a confused gaze. “You can't just give me stuff for free…”
“It’s no biggie,” he said dismissively, turning away. “Enjoy, princess.”
Gris shakes his head at Enjin he returns to the service area, like a brother scolding his younger sibling.
You grabbed the sugar cookie, wondering if he made it himself. You tore the package open and took a bite.
It tasted like blood.
[Memory Log 3.1: Lunacy Fringe]
♪ wake up, my love, never thought you'd make me, break me
“Enjin, you’re flirting with the customer again.”
“Again?” Pretty boy with tattoos sighed. “She’s gon’ think I flirt with all our customers!”
“Don’t you?” You teased.
“See!” He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. Turning back to you, he said, “I don’t. Not all the time, at least,” and grinned.
Gris sighed, albeit fondly, and turned back to you. “Glad to see you again. What would you like this time?”
You hummed in thought. “Do you have a secret drink?”
“Well,” he pondered, scratching at his goatee. “Enjin’s working on a few drinks, but I don’t think they’re ready yet—”
“They are!” Said man interrupted, sidling up to Gris’s side. “One question, though. Sex or chocolates?”
“Is that necessary?” You questioned, to which he only grinned in response. You sighed in answer, “Sex and chocolates.”
Enjin smirked audibly. “Insatiable.” Then he went to prepare your drink.
You began to look for your purse in your bag, but Gris shook his head and said, “it’s on the house. Go find a seat.”
“You both like giving away free stuff, huh?”
“I call it ‘favoritism’,” Enjin yelled over the loud paper-tearing sound of the steam wand.
You merely laughed it off, but deep inside your heart just skipped a beat.
You sat in a booth at the far side of the café, away and hidden from the service area. There were no other customers today, and the volume of the speakers was set to low, so it was a little peaceful.
It didn’t take long for Enjin to find you, carrying a tray with two Collins glasses filled with two-tone layered drinks and garnished with lemons. Without asking, he sat on the couch next to you, his elbow bumping with yours, as if you were two people on a date.
The thought made you scoot closer. You hoped he didn’t notice. “Won’t you be needed there?”
With a brow raised and a funny look on his face, he gestured to the empty coffee shop.
“I mean, someone could come in anytime,” you chuckled, scooting even closer so that you’re now sitting side by side. He smelled like coffee and cigarettes, which should’ve been a turn off for you, having despised cigarettes your entire life (for reasons), yet you didn’t want to pull away.
“So,” he started, distributing the drinks, “Espresso tonic. Strong cold brew concentrate and tonic water.”
“Do I have to mix before I drink?”
He hummed in deep thought. You chuckled. “You don’t know?”
“Just teasing,” he grinned, and your heart might’ve skipped a beat again. “Drink it as is.”
You ignored the feeling that was blooming in your chest and lifted the glass to your mouth, catching a whiff of the citrus, floral, and fruit notes that a standard iced espresso tended to muffle. “Hmm…” you slightly tilted your head in curiosity. The aroma was familiar. Enjin chuckled impatiently and urged you to drink it already, and you did, stopping mid-sip as you tasted the bitterness that wasn’t just from the roasted espresso. It did taste like espresso but drinks like something entirely different. Bright and sparkling. Like Enjin’s triumphant smile when you took another sip.
“She likes iiiiit,” he sang.
You put the glass back on the table. “It’s… okay,” you said tentatively, teasing.
“It’s okay?? Surely, you can do better with your review,” he rolled his eyes and then chuckled. He took a sip of his own coffee, then he leaned sideways, elbow on the table and jaw on his knuckle, and locked eyes with you.
“I’m just teasing,” you said, poking his waist. He didn’t even flinch, unaffected and not ticklish. He only caught your finger and didn’t let go. You wanted to hold his whole hand instead. “It was delicious. Haven’t drank something like this before.”
Enjin smirked. You swallowed and unintentionally licked your lips. Then he leaned in and crashed his mouth into yours in a breathy kiss, as if he had been wanting to do this with you in forever, and so noisy, you’re certain Gris would hear it from the service area. Enjin’s huge hands cupped your face, pulling you even closer, while you held onto his wrists. You weren’t sure if it was his skin or yours that felt hot. Maybe both. But you were going to combust soon, that’s for sure.
You tilted your head to the side, a low moan escaping your throat. He pulled away from your mouth, biting your lower lip lightly as he trailed down your chin, then to the side of your neck—
The door suddenly opened and in came three customers. One of them was loudly singing, “Come, come, come with me! Let’s take a trip down the mem’ry lane!”
Enjin forced himself to let go of you. You struggled to breathe, feeling as though he took all the oxygen from your lungs with that kiss.
You swallowed, then murmured his name.
He took a small bar of dark chocolate from his apron and gave it to you. “I know,” he smiled, squeezing your knee as he got up to leave, leaving you flustered, wet, and admittedly wanting more.
[Memory Log 1.4: Walk this World with Me]
Darkness surrounds you. You can feel your eyes moving, seeking some source of light, but it’s as though there’s something covering them, preventing you from seeing anything. You feel like you’re floating, but you know you’re lying on something. Your brain feels like jumbled wires, unable to form any coherent thoughts. Your mouth tastes like metal. You try to swallow to wet your throat, but it takes a while before your muscles move, and when you finally get to swallow, a burning sensation hits your throat and makes you want to throw up.
The continuous beep and low thrum of machines around you slowly register in your head. Then, voices.
Someone’s singing, “...take a trip down the mem’ry lane. Come, come, come with me!”
“We have to stop her from going to the coffee shop,” says a deep male voice. There's a pregnant pause. And then: “one more.”
“You said that was the last one,” a female voice argues.
You flinch at the ear-splitting scraping of a chair against the floor.
“One more,” the deep voice repeats firmly. “Adjust the formula. Glutamate, .8. Serotonin, 1. Endorphin, 0.”
You don’t hear any answer. Just footsteps, retreating, then the ominous screeching of a door as it closes.
“...down the mem’ry lane we go…”
You stepped out of the office building together with your colleagues, excited to go home after a long day at work.
“Fuuuck, it’s so hot,” grumbled Alice, fanning her face with the folder she borrowed from the boss’ supply cabinet. “The weather forecast said it was going to rain today!”
“They did say the last day of summer was last week,” Mika joked with an implying tone.
“Ice Cream House, anyone?” asked Sanya. “They just released a new flavor: Blue Cheese & Pear.”
There was a collective groan. Dane exclaimed, “yuuuck, seriously?!”
“I have to go,” you answered immediately. You weren’t in the mood to stay out late today, thanks to the headache you had been nursing since morning. “See you guys tomorrow.” You bade them farewell despite their protests and started heading in the direction where your bus stop was located.
An iced coffee or frappe would be good though, you thought. You had been meaning to try the coffee shop that just opened nearby—
“Ow!” A sharp pain tore through your skull. You stopped in your tracks to steady yourself and massaged your forehead with the heel of your hand.
Your mouth tasted funny. You felt like throwing up. You couldn’t take another aspirin, not when it clearly wasn’t helping.
When you were feeling slightly better, you continued towards the street where the new coffee shop was located. You stopped outside the café, pondering over the menu stand. Nothing seemed to tickle your tastebuds.
You let out a heavy sigh. You weren’t really in the mood for anything, and it could ruin the experience for you, so you turned away to leave.
But the door was thrown open, and a tall blond barista with striking yellow eyes hurried towards you, holding a wet tissue in his hand. His other hand went to the back of your head, holding it in place.
“What—” Your knees trembled, and you end up leaning against him, your shoulder on his chest. He wrapped his arm around the middle of your back, keeping you close and steady.
You looked up at the blond whose nameplate read Enjin. He felt oddly familiar.
Enjin gently dabbed the tissue under your nose and said, “lean forward, princess. ‘Yer nose is bleeding.”
Your last thought was is that even fucking clean before you lost consciousness.
Or not. You hear voices around you.
“It’s no use,” sighs a female one. “We should stop lest we damage her brain.”
“We have her consent,” a male voice answers.
“We can’t change the past, Zodyl.”
He counters that with only a firm gaze. “We saw her memories change. We made progress—significant progress. Progress we wouldn't have made if we stuck with rats for experimentation.”
“That’s true,” she concurs, “but maybe this isn’t the time yet to—”
“We have her consent,” he repeats, firm and conclusive.
[Present]
“The first time I met him? Hmm…”
Was it winter? No, it was summer, you’re certain it was in summer.
“I think it was winter. I remember it was snowing.”
But when you search your memories, you recall heavy rain instead, urging you to take shelter in the coffee shop until it passed.
“Coffee shop?” A voice asks.
You feel like you’re being interrogated. Like you’re taking an exam where you’re being set to fail.
“Mhm… was it not a coffee shop?” You chuckle nervously, and the person shrugs in response. “Oh, wait. I think I remember now! It was a park.” You smile. And then: “A park where sunflowers bloom…” Repeating it doesn’t sound right anymore, like it’s not what you’re supposed to remember.
He looks like one, after all, a sunflower. So tall, so bright, and full of life. He was always looking at you, after you, like a sunflower that’s always facing in the sun’s direction.
“Hmm…”
“Remember something else?”
More like… forgot something else, you think. And it feels wrong. It’s becoming difficult to remember some things, although Cthoni did tell you it would take another two hours or more for the hippocampus to start functioning properly after a session.
“Sorry… who are we talking about again?”
There’s a heavy feeling in your gut.
[Memory Log 4.1: Lunacy Fringe]
Enjin carried a tray with two martini glasses filled with coffee—or so you hoped it was, not something alcoholic. It’s too early to be drinking cocktails and you still have to go to work.
It has been your daily routine for the past few weeks: coffee dates (his words) with Enjin before going to work. Since your office is just around the corner, he had reasoned out.
He sat on the couch next to you, bumping his elbow into yours. He had removed his apron, leaving him only in an oversized red shirt and loose beige pants.
His skin was so warm, you found yourself scooting closer. You caught a faint smell of cigarettes, coffee, and his chocolate-scented body spray.
“Won’t you be needed there?” You asked, hoping he didn’t notice you had gotten closer.
“Nah. Gris can handle it,” he said dismissively, distributing the drinks to each of you. “Caffè Shakerato: a shot of espresso shaken with sugar on ice.”
“As simple as that?”
“Mhm,” he murmured with a smile, dimples appearing. “Yet, so much more.”
Hmm…
“Are ‘ya going to drink it or you’ll keep staring?”
You cleared your throat and snuffed out the feeling that was blooming in your chest. You expected the drink to be just a normal sweet iced espresso but it wasn’t. It was velvety and capped with a creamy foam.
“I wanted to add Baileys, but I forgot to ask, so...”
“It’s just 6 in the morning, Enjin.” You took two more sips.
He smiled triumphantly. “You like it.”
You put the glass back on the table. “Hmm, it’s okay,” you answered in a teasing tone.
“It’s okay?!” He exclaimed, crossing his arms and then pouting like a child.
“I was just teasing,” you chuckled, poking his waist. He caught your finger and didn’t let go. “It was good. Haven’t drank anything like this before.”
♪ and will your love light burn me baby?
Enjin smirked, then he pulled you towards him, crashing his lips into yours in a kiss so intense he might as well breathe in your whole face.
♪ burn a hole right through my heart.
His huge hands cupped your face, pulling you even closer, while you held onto his waist, fingers digging into the flesh of his back. Goddamn, you wanted to sit on his lap. You wanted him to hold you somewhere else while you grinded against him. A low moan escaped your throat at the thought of straddling him, of the feeling of his body under yours. He pulled away from your face, lightly biting your lower lip as his mouth moved down to your chin, then to the side of your neck—
The door suddenly opened and in came three customers. One was singing, “Come, come, come with me! Let’s take a trip down the mem’ry lane!”
Enjin pulled away, his eyes zoned in on your parted lips. You were struggling to breathe. It felt like the kiss took all the oxygen from your lungs. He got up, took a quick sip of his coffee, and then grabbed your hand and dragged you to the restroom. You wordlessly followed, feeling a buzz in your nerves. Maybe he lied. Maybe he did put alcohol in your drink, but you didn’t care anymore.
He slammed the door close and pushed you against the wall, kissing you in the mouth deeply and with another sucking breath. You raked your fingers through his hair as you kissed him back, tongue slipping into his mouth, tasting roasted espresso and cigar. But he cut it short, earning an impatient groan from you, breaking the kiss so that he could to take his shirt off.
For the first time, you saw the expanse of his tattoos—the whole sleeves, the swirls on his chest, and the rest of it that covers his back.
Your hands moved to his chest, caressing the tattooed skin.
He smirked. “Like what you’re seein’?”
You met his gaze for a second, then leaned in to trace your tongue along the swirls of red and black ink on his pectorals.
♪ I'm so far gone now, do you wanna take me high?
He let out a low growl and grabbed your ass cheeks, squeezing them firmly as he lifted you from the floor. You wrapped your legs around his waist, holding onto him tightly as he pushed your skirts up.You sighed his name, your own hands moving to his belt to unbuckle it, pushing his cock against your clothed heat the moment it sprung free from the confines of his boxer briefs.
Enjin captured your lips in another heated kiss before moving to your neck. “Wanna fuck ‘ya so badly, baby,” he murmured against your skin, “so fuckin’ badly I dream of it every night.”
You grasped his hair at the back, pulling his head back to make him look at you. “So, fuck me.” You pushed aside the crotch of your panty while your other hand guided the tip of his head along your aching folds.
He buried his face in your neck as he thrusted up into your cunt, sighing out your name against the skin of your throat, and you watched him in the mirror behind his back while he fucked you against the wall.
It was good. Being with Enjin made you feel good, yet there was a heavy feeling in your gut. It was always there, growing bigger the more time you spent with him.
You closed your eye, hoping that sinking feeling would disappear, and when you opened them again —
— you find yourself in a dimly lit room, with no recollection of anything at all.
There’s a faint ringing in your ears. The headache follows.
A blue-haired woman in an indigo lab gown appears in your vision, looking down at you like you’re a patient undergoing surgery. “How are you feeling?” She dabs a wet tissue under your nose. Then another at each of your ears. They all come off tinged with red.
You don’t know. You aren’t sure. You feel like you have just woken up from a dreamless sleep.
And your head fucking hurts.
“Where am I?”
She doesn’t answer your question, but she tells you that you’ll feel better soon. She helps you sit up, then she pats your face dry with a purple towel and tells you to wait for someone to accompany you to your room.
[Present]
You don’t want to be here, but you can’t say no to him either. You still can’t say no to him after everything.
You turn on your seat, unable to stay still, your nerves killing you. The walls are too white they remind you, ironically, of the dark walls of R-Labs.
The door on the other side of the glass screen is opened by a police officer, and behind him is Enjin, his wrists handcuffed. His hair is noticeably longer now, the usually spiked strands now down without his styling wax. You can’t decide if his clothes are just too big for him or if he lost more weight. Isn’t he eating well? Don’t they give him vitamins?
The officer uncuffs him before he is sat on the monoblock chair. He smiles wide, as if the two of you aren’t in a damn prison visiting room and instead are out on a date.
You’re painfully reminded of the first time you met him.
He picks up the phone; you don’t yet. You aren’t sure if you want to hear his voice or if you even want to talk with him.
His mouth moves, the sound doesn’t go through the thick glass separating you from each other, but you hear his voice clearly in your head. “C’mon, babe,” he urges you to pick up the phone.
You let out a sharp breath, eyes beginning to blur. You look down on your thighs, where your fingers just twitched, itching to grab the phone.
Well, you’re already here. It would be a waste of your time if you didn’t talk to him, so you might as well just do it. Get over and done with it. With everything.
“There you are,” he smiles.
You force your eyes to be still, afraid that if you so much as blink even the slightest the tears would start to fall without an end.
“I missed you.”
You swallow down your answer. It doesn’t matter anymore.
But you do too. You missed his voice. You missed him. All of him. You miss the two of you before all of this.
“I know ‘ya did too. Well, I was hoping, ‘cos why would you be here if not?”
Your lips tremble. You don’t know what to say.
“You don’t have to answer. I know ‘ya didn’t want to be here, but… man,” he chuckles ruefully, “I really miss your voice. Really wanna hear it again so badly.”
Your heart shatters even more. Just when you think it could no longer break further, it crumbles to dust, leaving an empty space in your chest.
“Babe,” he calls, “please?”
A sharp breath escapes your mouth. It still baffles you how just last year, that one word always made your heart do somersaults in your chest. Now, there’s nothing but a bitter feeling in your gut. You want to remind him you aren’t together anymore, that he chose to end the relationship when he decided to seek revenge, but you know he won’t listen. He’s persistent like that.
So, instead, you question, “why’d you summon me then?”
“Well…” he chuckles, scratching the nape of his neck, a hint of pink coloring his cheeks. “I just missed ‘ya. I know I don’t have the right to miss my ex after everythin’ I’ve done, but it’s been what, five? Six? Six months since ‘ya last visited.”
“Eight,” you correct him.
“Eight,” he parrots, nodding slowly as he digests the information. Then he chuckles and says, “it’s hard to keep track of the days here. Don’t even know what month it is now.”
“It’s his first anniversary in four days.”
He pauses, lips parting but saying nothing at all. You think you see his eyes beginning to well up with tears, but then he blinks and lets out a sharp breath that sounds like a bitter laugh. “That fast, eh?”
The question goes unanswered. It doesn’t need one.
“They rejected my request for parole,” Enjin speaks again, unable to keep his mouth shut. Not wanting even a second or two of silence.
Your vision blurs. Fuck. You blink quickly and soon feel something wet landing on your cheek.
“I dunno if I’d try again…” he pauses to watch you wipe the tears from your eyes. “Maybe if you urged me to, I would?” he says, somewhat joking yet sounding hopeful. Then he chuckles and adds, “just kiddin’. Don’t— don’t answer if it’s a no. Heh.”
You sniffle, then let out a shaky breath. “Try again.”
He blinks, surprised.
“No one else visits Gris but—” your voice breaks, “...but me.”
Enjin nods slowly. “Okay. Will try again.”
“But don’t come looking for me.”
That finally brings him to tears.
You hate to see him crying.
“I— I don’t want anything to do with you anymore,” you blurt out, voice turning softer and inaudible towards the last word. You hold his gaze. He isn’t moving, only staring at your trembling lips and tear-stained face. You want to reach out to him and hold him so tightly for the last time. You want to trace his lips with your thumb, the scar on his head, his tattoos. You want to kiss him again, to hug him. You want to cook meals for him again, brew his coffee in the morning, make him desserts at night. You want to drink with him again, to get drunk again and have sex until you both pass out from exhaustion.
You want to be in love with him again.
No. You still love him. Despite everything, you still love him. You know you’ll never stop loving him.
But it’s not enough.
You take in a deep breath and—
“Wait,” he starts before you can. “I love you.”
Your breath catches in your throat.
“‘m not saying it to get you back. I know it doesn't matter anymore, but… I love you,” he murmurs your name. Not princess, not babe, but your name.
And you fucking missed it, the sound of your name in his voice.
“Just realized I never said it out loud before ‘n I’m sorry for that.”
You can no longer stop the ugly sobbing anymore. Why does it have to be like this? Why did those things happen?
You want to give him a chance, but it’s too much. There’s still too much pain in your heart.
“I wish you well, Enjin. Truly. I wish you happiness.” You hung up before he could answer.
His lips tremble with an intensity you’ve never seen before. You fist your skirt, fingers turning white so quickly while you stare into his eyes for the next few seconds. For the last time. He hasn’t hung up yet, but he isn’t speaking either.
You swallow hard. “Goodbye, Enjin.”
He doesn’t answer. Until now he still refuses to let you go.
You get up and leave.
.
The coffee shop no longer stands. It was torn down months ago; the lot cleared of almost all the construction debris and hazardous materials.
You cross the street and walk towards what has been your favorite place for a while. Even without the menu stand, the glass doors, or the wall that’s overcrowded with posters, you could still clearly picture how the café looked when you first visited it in January last year. You recall the first time Gris smiled and welcomed you into the coffee shop. You remember all your first impressions—the weird theme choice, the unwelcoming walls, the noisy music, the good coffee and pastries.
The pretty boy with the cute dimples and handsome tattoos. The one who made the butterflies in your stomach flutter every time he served your coffee. The one who brewed you blends you’ve never tasted before—never tasted again.
Your sunflower.
You had good moments here. You laughed with them and then cried from laughing too much. Drank coffee with them, some even spiked. Learned how to use the espresso machine and made coffee for the three of you. Stayed late with Enjin to experiment on a few new coffee blends. Had sex with Enjin in the restroom a few times, which resulted in Gris scolding the two of you and even warning you of getting banned from the coffee shop (which you knew was an empty threat because Gris always welcomed you with a big smile the moment you came in the next day.)
And then there were the bad memories. The armed robbers, who you would later on discover were members of the gang Enjin and Gris used to be in. You had just come out of the restroom, not knowing what was happening, only that they were being accused of stealing something from “the boss”. You recall the feeling of hitting someone at the back of their head with the electric guitar and the bone-crunching sound as the alder struck the skull. You recall Gris yelling at you to get down as the windows shattered. You recall looking at your blood-stained hands, the feeling of sitting on the pool of someone’s blood, on Gris’ blood, as he slowly bled to death.
You remember him reaching for your face, smudging blood on your cheek as he asked you to take care of Enjin and to keep him from making any more mistakes. You remember his beautiful and vibrant blue eyes turning lifeless.
It wasn’t easy trying to be strong for the both of you for the both of you. You would be lying if you said you didn’t want to give up—you had been so close to leaving Enjin behind, but you held on because you loved him and because you made a promise to Gris. You held on even if it wasn’t easy doing all the work just so you both would survive. You worked day and night, all while he only drank and mourned his best friend’s death. You knew that feeling after all, to lose the only person you have. To have them taken away from you. You held on even if it wasn’t easy getting him out of wherever he was lying or curled up in, demanding he eat and take a bath, only for you to end up feeding him and bathing him like a damn child. And when he had finally gathered his wits and got up by himself, when you thought he had finally started moving on, it turned out it was just because he had decided to take it upon himself to seek justice, taking the life of the person who killed Gris along with a few other members of the gang including their boss.
Then he turned himself in.
You found out only after seeing it in the news two days after.
You couldn’t keep your promise to Gris.
You failed to be a good partner to Enjin.
.
Gris liked your Cinnamon Cardamom Cappuccino blend — 3C, as he named it on their secret menu — so you made one to offer at his grave. You sit on the grass, quiet for a short moment as you stare at the deep brown granite that is his headstone. You ask how he’s doing in heaven.
Only Gris knows what you’ve been up to, trying to manipulate your memories to forget Enjin.
Only Gris knows of your plan of calling Cthoni to tell her you’re withdrawing from their research. It will cost you a lot, you’re only four months into the one-year deal, but you don’t really care anymore. You’re keeping the memories. You’re keeping Enjin in your heart.
You ask him to help Enjin with his parole. You truly wish he would be granted that. He’s not a bad person after all.
You still apologize for failing to keep your promise. You still ask for his forgiveness.
You tell Gris you’re leaving the country. You’re leaving everything behind. You don’t apologize for it. You know he understands.
You uncap the cold ready-to-drink black coffee you bought from the 7-11 store a couple of blocks away from the cemetery. It’s the last coffee you will ever drink.
You take a gulp, then throw away the rest.
It leaves a bitter aftertaste in your mouth.
reblogs and comments are much appreciated <333
written with blood, sweat, tears, and a lot of self-doubt by @pianon0. please don't plagiarize, translate, repost, or feed into ai. thank you! 𐔌՞ ܸ.ˬ.ܸ՞𐦯