They Don't Need To Understand (Love Prompt) - Drabble
Thumper felt like he was sinking into the plush cushion of the chair in Dr. Centipede's office. He was nervous.
"Have you been journaling like I asked?" Dr. Centipede queried. He flipped a page in his notepad and looked up at the quaking boy in front of him. Thumper shook his head. He flexed his toes, holding the muscles in constant tension. "Why not?" The doctor wanted to know.
Thumper swallowed the ball of anxiety forming in his throat. "I didn't -- know -- what to write." he admitted, shrugging his shoulders and tucking his chin down and focusing on a spot in the carpet that was between his feet.
"I saw the painting you made," Doctor Centipede informed him and he glanced up, but didn't meet the doctor's eyes. "It was good. What did it mean to you?" Centipede pushed lightly. Thumper gave another noncommital shrug.
"It was-- the fire. You know about that," he tried, but his doctor make a noise. Clearly, that answer wasn't good enough. "I just-- it's rage. I see it-- when I close my eyes. I feel it-- burning my skin. I smell and taste the ashes. --I'm still there. I can't...escape."
Thumper finally made eye contact with Dr. Centipede, licking his lips, he took a breath. "The fire-- is inside me," he admitted.
"Thumper, you have to let go," the doctor told him and Thumper shook his head. "Have you made any new friends?" He asked. The boy bit down on the inside of his cheek and lowered his eyes. "I-- talked to people: Eeyore, Jack, Sally, Elsa, Mad, Belle... lots of people. I don't know-- if they're friends. They're nice, but I don't-- want to be a bother."
"Why would you think you're a bother?" The doctor furrowed his brow and stared the anxious bunny down. Thumper opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. The thoughts running through his head were ones he couldn't speak out loud. He was so scared.
The thing Thumper never spoke about, that he buried in the pit of his stomach, was that he had lost everything, -- but not in the fire. The last winter before his home was burned to ashes and dust was a harsh one, but as the woods began to grow again and the ice thawed out, he and Miss Bunny, the girl he loved more than anything, were playing and she had dashed out onto snow covered ice. The creek had been melting and it shattered under the pressure of her weight.
Thumper was frantic. The current of the water and the heaviness of her wet fur was pulling her under. He tried, but there wasn't much he could do, but watch as she drowned.
It was the first scar on his heart. He didn't realize how many more there would be. So many pieces of himself were gone; he barely felt alive anymore. The truth was simply that being close to someone always hurt him; loving someone was destroying him and he didn't want to feel that way again.
"Thumper?" Dr. Centipede asked. His eyes had glazed over; he'd gotten lost in his thoughts again. He shook his head clear. "I just-- don't know if I'm worth it. All my friends--and family-- they're gone. Maybe-- I'm not supposed to...have them."
The scar on Thumper's back burned. Maybe he should be gone too. It felt like that most days. "Thumper, you can't say that. Who did you like the most of the people you spoke with?"
The boy shrugged again. "Eeyore and Jack... I guess?" He twitched his nose and Dr. Centipede put down his pen, leaning forward. "I think maybe you should talk to them more. What do you think?"
"But what if-- they don't want to talk to me?"
"Can you try?"
The former bunny gave shaky nod. "Okay," he breathed. Centipede made a note and gave Thumper a curt nod. "You may go if you've got nothing else to say," he said, glancing down again at his paper. The boy sat for a moment feeling like he'd left so much unsaid. Again. He pushed himself up and out of the chair.
"Thank you," he mumbled as he opened the door to leave. He licked his lips and walked unnoticed back to his room, finally feeling like he could breathe again.